After breakfast, Ronald asked for Sawyer's help with something in the boathouse. I hadn't known until then there even was a boathouse and a lake. Reassuring me his sisters and mom wouldn't eat me; he took off, leaving me alone with them. If I am honest, this had felt daunting. It was hard enough with Sawyer by my side meeting new people, but to be left alone with my shy nature was something else.
Initially, I helped Tammy with her girls and once they had been driven away by the two stable girls, she led me into a huge garden room to join her sisters and their mom.
"I know this must feel a little overwhelming, but we couldn't wait to meet you. It's so good to see Sawyer happy," his mom told me again with a warm smile. I glanced at his three sisters and they were all smiling as well. "When Charlotte and James …" She stopped, shaking her head as if lost for the words to tell me how difficult it had been for everyone.
I was surprised she had brought the subject up with me. Eventually, she heaved a huge sigh. "What they did put a huge strain on our family, on both of our families, and poor Sawyer still rose above it as the better man."
"Sawyer mentioned all that. At first, I couldn't understand why he still tolerates being around them, but when I see him with all of you, I can see he thinks James is still important to your family. Knowing what I do about him, Sawyer doesn't like drama and I can see he has all the respect in the world for you."
"Everything you said is true. He's the youngest of my children, but he's always had an old soul. It's been an awful experience for us and it has caused a huge rift between Ronald and me, but James is still one of my babies and with that comes unconditional love for him. Since Sawyer found you, I've seen him heal and his attitude toward James is slowly changing."
"Changing?" I prodded.
"Yes, he used to look at James like he wanted to rip his heart out for what he did."
"And now?"
"Now, he's indifferent toward him. I see this as a step in the right direction."
"What about Charlotte?" I asked, feeling a little as though I was betraying Sawyer's trust. I'd been burned by Logan, and there was still a little part of me that needed that little extra reassurance to know I was doing the right thing.
"Charlotte is full of regrets for what she did and who she did it with, and she's living with the consequences of her unfaithful behavior every day."
"She warned me off last night."
"She what?" Tammy snipped, her eyes wide and she sounded furious when she heard this.
"Yeah, she cornered me in the bathroom when Lorna went to her car."
"I hope you put her in her place, the insolent girl."
"Well, she did point out a few things that made me feel a little …uneasy," I disclosed.
"Such as?"
"How different we were, my age …"
"I'm seven years Ronald's senior," Harriett informed me. "You didn't invent toy-boys," she said with a wicked smirk. All of us laughed, but I felt an instant connection to her for putting me at ease.
"You are far more suited to Sawyer than she ever was," Caitlin barked immediately and effectively shut my comment down. "Pretty girls lose their looks, beautiful ones don't. And you're beautiful, sweet and unassuming. It melts my heart when I see how my brother looks at you."
"How he talks about her too," Tammy agreed, addressing Caitlin. They both smiled at one another.
"Thank you for accepting me. I know I'm not—" I blushed, feeling their attention on me.
"Not what? You're perfect for Sawyer and we can see he loves you. We can't wait to spend more time with you and to get to know Colby. My girls and Brock are excited for another child to play with. Sawyer talks to us about your son too, you know."
Their welcoming comments and solidarity against Charlotte filled my heart with hope, and although they were wealthy people, Sawyer's happiness was more important to them than anything. I'd never had the luxury of a big family before and the Wilds, apart from James, was everything I could have wished for.
* * *
It was almost 6:00 p.m. when Sawyer and his father came back from the boathouse, and my chest tightened as soon as I heard his voice in the hallway. With the hours away from him and his family's support of me being with him, any doubts about spending my life with him had quickly faded.
It had taken less than a day and a few kind words of acceptance from those around him to make me understand how much I truly meant to him. More importantly, I knew if he were to suddenly disappear from my life I'd struggle to live without him.
Naturally, I knew there would be a lot to sort out in terms of how we fit as a couple, how we would live together, Colby's needs, Sawyer's work commitments, and least of all, Logan. I had a moment where I wondered why I should have considered him. Then I reminded myself we shared Colby, and I would do anything to help our son manage his life with parents who lived apart.
Grabbing my hand, Sawyer yanked me up from the couch, lead me up to his room without a word. My heart pounded in anticipation of how he needed to be with me alone. As soon as he closed the door, he kissed me like he needed me to breathe. I kissed him back with the same desperation as I clung to the back of his shirt. Breaking the kiss, he continued to hold me like he never wanted to let me go and smiled.
"Wow. You missed me, huh?" he teased.
"Scarily so," I admitted, telling him my true gut feelings for once.
"Enough to marry me?" he asked, an eyebrow raised, and my heart flipped over at his playful words.
"What kind of proposal is that?" I teased, playing along.
"You'll have to forgive me because I'm a virgin at proposals."
"And you want me to take your virginity?"
"Yup. It's a straight up one-time deal. You are the only woman I'd pop my wedding day cherry for," he responded, a serious expression on his face.
"How do I know you're not teasing me?" I asked in amusement.
"If I thought for a minute you'd say yes, I'd ask you right now," he replied, seriously.
"Ask me what?"
"To marry me."
"Dare you," I blurted, impulsively, my fragile heart wide open in a small window of extreme bravery. I knew I was taking an insane final leap of faith as I allowed all my reservations to fall from my once crippled mind about spending my life with a younger man. Sawyer was worth the risk.
"Marry me?" he said, unsure of where I was going with his question.
"Yes," I agreed and nodded. My grin widened when I saw his jaw drop in disbelief.
"Yes? You'll marry me?" he questioned again, hope brightening his huge round eyes, his eyebrows up in his hairline.
Cupping his face in my hands, I smiled lovingly into his gorgeous smiling eyes. "Yes, I believe you want me. Yes, I want you, and yes I am placing my trust in you. I've never known anyone like you, Sawyer Wild. And now that I do, I never want to let you go."
Bending before me, he scooped me up in his arms and spun me around and around. Breathless, he dropped us both onto his bed and hugged me tightly.
My breath caught in my throat when I saw tears had sprung to his eyes. As soon as he became emotional I did too, both of us staring speechless at one another for a moment.
Smoothing my hair affectionately, he searched my face, his eyes and expression suddenly serious. "Darlin', I swear to you I will never let you down. I know how difficult the last two years have been for you, even though I wasn't in your life for most of them. You may not know this, but I've never forgotten how broken you were that day in the wine bar. I didn't know you then, but I felt your pain of the split between you and Logan."
"Let's not talk about him, not now, not with what I've just agreed to."
"Done," he said, then frowned. "This wasn't much of a proposal," he muttered.
"Best proposal I've ever had," I replied quickly. "Who cares about the sense of occasion attached? It's you I want, not some fancy words or ostentatious gestures that mean nothing to me. Besides I find attention-drawing events cringe-worthy."
"Then
you're going to hate your wedding. You think my mom is going to let her youngest son marry without all the fanfare that goes with a society wedding?"
"Oh, goodness, I don't think …"
"Good, don't think about it. It's about being together that matters." A calm washed over me and I knew he was right. Nothing else mattered apart from being with him. As soon as I thought this, I knew I hadn't acted in haste or in the heat of the moment. My chest was full of love and hope for the future; something only a short year ago I thought I'd never feel again.
Chapter Thirty-One
In the early hours of the following morning, Sawyer woke me up with a cup of coffee. "Morning, beautiful," he crooned. "Drink this, and grab a quick shower. I want to take you out for a few hours," he added in a low, murmur.
"Jeez, Sawyer, it's 3:00 a.m.," I moaned, groaned and grunted as I stretched, pointing my toes in the bed.
"Sorry, baby, but we need to go now. Come on, humor me."
For a long minute I thought of refusing and succumbing to the warmth of the comfy bed, but something inside tuned into the significance of Sawyer's need for me to do as he asked.
Tossing back the covers, I sat up still sleepy, and strong arms wrapped around me, yanking me to my feet.
Ten minutes later I was showered and drying my hair when Sawyer turned up again holding my coat.
"Ready?"
"What's so important?" I asked, placing my hairbrush on the bathroom vanity and turning to face him. Stepping closer to me, he slid his arms around my waist and looked down at me.
"I want to be out and back before lunch. I promised the kids I'd get the sleds out."
I continued to grumble my protest in a whisper as we crept downstairs and out through the kitchen at the back of the house, like a pair of thieves. We hurried to Sawyer's car as our breaths puffed out clouds in front of our faces and slid into the cold leather seats of his father's Jaguar again.
"Brrr," I complained as Sawyer started the engine. Within seconds, the snow and ice began to melt on the front and back windshields and the seats beneath us warmed our butts with the luxury feature that felt an essential must-have for those living along the Eastern Seaboard during the brittle winter months.
Being evasive, Sawyer refused to tell me where we were headed and as we neared New York City, I wondered why we were heading downtown at 5:00 in the morning. When he parked his car in the same parking lot I'd left my car on the first day I'd met him, I thought it a coincidence. But then he led me out of the exit and turned us in the direction of the wine bar. From a block away I could make out thousands of tiny LCD string lights twinkling in the distance.
As we grew closer I noted garlands of delicate fresh flowers draped from the canvas canopy outside. Stopping outside I glanced through the glass doors and inside was in semi darkness, except for a rose-colored candlelight glow.
"What's this?" I asked, my lungs burning in my chest from the cold, but my heart beating wildly with excitement because I had already anticipated what he'd planned. Sawyer's bright eyes danced with love as he stared down at me, his smiling face illuminated by the twinkling string lighting.
"Just having a do-over of the first time we met," he replied, playfully and pulled me into his chest. "Shall we?" he asked reaching out and holding the door open for me to enter.
Stepping inside, the heat in the wine bar wrapped around me like a warm blanket and my burning cheeks stung as they thawed from the icy wind that chilled them on the short walk from the parking lot.
Sawyer turned me to face the direction of the table where I'd been sitting when we'd first met.
Glancing down at the table, my heart squeezed when I saw the white table linen littered in fresh ruby red rose petals. Inside a silver champagne bucket was an opened bottle of Dom Perignon surrounded by hundreds of tiny ice chips. I smiled.
My heart melted when I turned back to look at Sawyer, bent down on one knee, and holding a very old, fancy green velvet box with the most exquisite antique princess cut emerald and diamond ring nestled in the cushion inside.
My heart clenched tightly before it almost leaped out of my chest at the thought and effort he had gone to. In just a few short hours, since I'd agreed to be his, he had put all of this together for us, and I knew his proposal was a moment I'd remember for the rest of my life.
"I couldn't spend my days with you knowing I hadn't proposed to you in some way that was at least a little memorable," he told me, a beaming smile lighting his face. My heart raced when I saw how delighted he was that he'd successfully pulled off his awesome surprise. "Bringing you back here is my way of erasing a bad memory. I wanted to give you a memory of the place where we met that left you in no doubt how I feel about you and how special I think you are."
Hearing his heartfelt words and seeing the love that shone in his eyes made my heart almost burst with emotion, and I fought back my tears. I shook my head, unable to find adequate words to tell him how much his effort meant to me and how I felt about him at that moment. I knew even if I'd had the words, they'd have been stuck behind an enormous lump in my throat.
Realizing he was still kneeling, I nodded. This was all it took for the salty tears brimming in my eyes and blurring my vision to roll down my cheeks. "Yes," I finally managed in a hoarse raspy whisper. We shared a heartbeat before he stood and scooped me into his chest. He held me so tightly to him I thought I might pass out.
"I promise I will never let you down," he said, his voice gruff with emotion before he drew his head back to look down at me. "It's only 5:45, but who cares, right? Releasing me from his arms he took the delicately designed ring from its antique box and slipped it over my finger. "You have no idea how significant this ring is, but in case you had any doubts about how my family feels about you, you should know the girls and my mom were unanimous in their decision this should be yours."
I studied the sizable gems and the intricate gold design as he poured us both a glass of champagne. Handing me one before picking the other up for himself, he clinked our glasses together. "To my beautiful, gentle woman, my bride-to-be, my everything, now and for the rest of my life. To us," he offered, the words rolling off his tongue. A long pause stretched between us and I looked at the exclusive ring again, fighting back my rejection of accepting ownership of such an obvious sign of affluence.
"It was my maternal grandmother's engagement ring," Sawyer explained. "Tradition would have it that it went to the first son's wife, but as my mom only had a sister and she was the eldest it went to her to pass down." My jaw almost hit the floor. "Mom told us the first boy to get engaged would take possession of the ring."
Staring down again at the beautiful engagement ring, I felt honored his mom had liked me so much. Then, for a moment I hadn't felt worthy of taking something with so much family history attached. However, when I thought of the alternative being Charlotte, a smile curved my lips and made accepting Sawyer's family heirloom far more acceptable.
The whole previous two months had felt surreal, just like my first kiss with Sawyer had been. He was right when he said I could know someone my whole life and never really know them; I'd learned that with Logan. I couldn't take in how my life had turned around in such a short time.
How the proposal happened came out of the blue, and I wondered where I'd found the bravery from to take such a step. I had never made such a huge decision as spontaneously as I did when I prompted Sawyer to ask me to marry him. Perhaps until then, I hadn't even known myself.
Then again, when I thought about the precise planning that had gone into my relationship with Logan, and the length of time I had known him before we married, none of that careful deliberation had mattered in the end.
"Did you tell the others I accepted your proposal?" I knew his mom had to know since she gave him the ring, but I wasn't sure whether his sisters and father had been told as well.
"Nope. Mom spoke to them about the ring in general terms, but they agreed that should you ever marry me, the ring would be yours. Mom
knows as I had to ask for it. We're having a family dinner tonight. We can either do it then or on New Year's Eve."
"James?" I asked, wondering if he attended family dinners without Charlotte hanging around.
"No. He'll only be at home on New Year's Eve.
"Sounds messed up, if you ask me."
"Stop stressing about it. We're only together four or five times a year, including Christmas and New Year's. I can deal with that, for my parents' sake.
"You're incredible, you know that?"
"Ah, now she gets it," he replied, glancing out of the window at the dawn's early light. "Ready for breakfast, soon-to-be Mrs. Wild?" he teased. Hearing him call me this made my heart lurch.
"Not too soon," I added, quickly. "I'm still going to need time for Colby to understand what's happening. And there are so many issues we need to iron out, like where we'll live, your work, and mine, for that matter."
"Yeah, those conversations are for another day, let me enjoy your acceptance for a while. We'll deal with all of that after the new year."
We sat talking in the wine bar until the winter sun came up in the clear blue sky.
As we grew hungry, Sawyer stood and thanked the lone staff member who had opened the wine bar for us. He handed the man an envelope before we stepped outside in the chilly winter air and headed out to breakfast.
* * *
It was almost lunchtime when we set off from New York back to the Hamptons and by the time we'd arrived, my insides were a mixture of apprehension at being greeted as a permanent fixture to a family I had only known for a day.
I was quietly thankful to learn Sawyer's sisters had taken the children to play in an indoor pool to let off some steam, but Sawyer's mom rushed toward me the moment I stepped through her door.
DARE You, Dare Duet, Part One: Billie and Sawyer: Unchained Attraction Series Page 26