Guilt reddened my face. "I'm sorry, but I couldn't …"
"I know. Don't worry," she replied, interpreting the words I hadn't said.
"It's stunning and too much, and I don't want to separate it from this set," I replied, touching the necklace again.
"Nor should you. They go together, and they're my parents' engagement present to you." I swear my jaw almost hit the floor.
"I can't …"
"Shh, Charlotte's on her way over. This should be good. You think I have time to grab some popcorn from the pantry?" I snorted, my mind going from the sublime to the ridiculous, and then to Charlotte in a matter of seconds.
"I love you already," I told Tammy, still reeling from how amazing Sawyer's family was. In the space of a few days, I had gone from a small, fractured family of my own to feeling part of something incredible in theirs. James was the only person who prevented how I felt from being perfect.
"Congratulations," a low voice like Sawyer's murmured in my ear. I turned to find the man in my thoughts standing beside me. Looking immaculately dressed, smelling of an alluring cologne and smiling a smile that was all too like the one I loved on Sawyer's face; it was his brother, James.
"Thank you," I said politely if a little flat. He had wronged Sawyer, but I wasn't prepared to be rude when he wished us well.
"I'm happy for him," he added, and ran a hand nervously through his hair.
"Thank you," I repeated, my curious eyes darting between him and where Sawyer stood. It wasn't hard to see Charlotte had gotten up in his face, and I wondered what she was saying. For a moment I considered that Sawyer should shut her down and walk away, but he didn't. Then I figured he was his usual calm self and the best he should do was let her rant with no effect, which was exactly what I saw.
"I know you don't know me, but I am devastated at what I did to Saw," he said, sounding genuinely apologetic. I felt my chest tighten that he had the gall to speak to me this way.
"Yet, here you are … you and Charlotte, together, rubbing salt into the wound."
"Yep, it appears we are," he agreed. I was surprised; I'd expected silence or a protestation of innocence, perhaps.
"Aren't you going to stop that?" I asked, nodding toward them.
"Nope. It's a good reminder to Sawyer why he's not with her. Aren't you?"
"No … for the same reason I suppose. What made you do that to him? No, don't tell me, I don't want to know. You did me a favor because what I feel for your brother is the kind of love that makes me forget all the bad things that have gone down in my life. So nothing you two did matters now because we're together."
"Then I envy you."
"Good. Then consider that as part of your punishment for turning on your brother."
"Ouch. Noted."
"Can't you see what Charlotte is doing? Doesn't it make you feel used to know she's still in love with him?"
"No, it doesn't. I keep her around to remind myself of what a fuckup I am, and to make sure he doesn't take her back."
"Sawyer thinks you love her."
"I did, not so much now, but it's always been platonic; I'm not in love with her."
"Does she know this?"
"Probably not. She's too interested in herself to be concerned with anyone else."
"Then she's going to be very disappointed in Sawyer marrying me."
"Oh, no doubt, but she knew you were trouble when he said he was bringing you home. He's never brought another girl home. Getting engaged though? She never expected that to happen. Hell, I never expected that."
"And now?"
"Good luck to you both. After seeing you together I don't think you need it." I eyed him suspiciously and glanced over toward Sawyer, who was still in a quiet-but-heated conversation with Charlotte. "Do you want me to break that up?" he asked.
I shook my head. "No, Sawyer's a big boy. He's perfectly capable of dealing with his ex-girlfriend on his own."
"And that's why he's marrying you," he stated.
I watched him with narrowed eyes for a second before I cocked my head to the side. "Is this a game you guys are playing? You keep me busy while she tries to get Sawyer alone?"
"Trust me, no game," he shot back.
"You won't mind if I reserve judgment on the trust element of that statement. Sawyer trusted you and look what you did."
"It took two of us to make that happen. It wasn't my decision."
"By all accounts, Charlotte was … how was it put? Pursued relentlessly."
"That's bullshit. She made a play for my cock at every opportunity she could, whether my brother was on tour or not." His blunt remark put me off kilter.
"Are you saying she came on to you while Sawyer was home?"
"Yes, I am. It happened frequently for about a year before we did the deed. First time was at a party. She took advantage of me. God only knows how she got my dick up because I don't even remember most of that day."
"And after that time?"
"I resisted her and told her it should never have happened. That's when she began blackmailing me. Charlotte is pretty insatiable in the sack, and she decided I looked like my brother and sounded like him, so I was the next best thing when he was either gone or busy."
"Have you told Sawyer this?"
"I tried to, but he didn't want to know. Can't blame him for that." A silence fell between us and I saw Sawyer hold Charlotte firmly by her upper arms and take a step back from her. I took this as my cue to interrupt their tête-à-tête and left James standing alone.
"It's almost midnight, Sawyer, let's go celebrate," I said sweetly, sliding my arm around his. His focus immediately shifted toward me, and the scowl on his face disappeared.
“Sure, darlin', but I can't wait until New Year's to kiss you though," he muttered, as he tugged the bust of my dress by hooking his index finger inside and pulled me closer. It was a blatant show of affection toward her.
Cupping my face with his hands, his eyes only inches from mine, he stared adoringly, like I was the only woman in the room before he leaned in and kissed me.
Initially, my body stiffened, until I realized Sawyer was claiming me in front of his family and friends. More importantly, he was sending a clear message to Charlotte not to mess with us.
Breaking the kiss, I didn't miss the sad look on James's face and wondered how much of what he'd said was the truth. Charlotte brushed past me, whipping her long mane of ash-blonde shiny hair behind her shoulders like she was being filmed for a swanky shampoo commercial. It interrupted my observation of James. Sawyer grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the entertainment tent before I saw his brother again.
The countdown to the new year quickly got underway and Sawyer kissed my temple as we excitedly joined in. "Ten … nine … eight … seven …" we chanted. Again, I noticed James standing off to the side, observing Sawyer and me. I felt guilty for feeling a little sad for him.
"Six … five … four …" Charlotte was nowhere in sight, having lost herself in the crowded tent and hadn’t rejoined James. I went with my gut and figured there may have been a grain of truth in James's disclosure to me.
"Happy New Year!" everyone shouted, and I cast my confused eyes around the room. I'd been so wrapped up in my thoughts I'd missed the projected image of the Ball Drop on the wall of the tent. Sawyer grabbed my ass and pulled me tight to his body.
"Happy New Year, darlin'," he cooed. He dipped his head and kissed me passionately, stealing my breath. As he broke the kiss, he barely had time to say, "I love you," before people interjected one by one and continually wished us well for the new year ahead.
Separated after being turned this way and that, I craned my neck looking for Sawyer who'd gotten lost in the crowd. When I couldn't find him, I turned to look in the opposite direction from where he'd had stood and observed the festivities.
Chapter Thirty-Four
A few moments later James returned at my side again. He didn't try to embrace me as many others had. "I wish you and Sawyer all the luck in
the world for the future. You've got one of the best there," he said, nodding in the direction he thought his brother had gone. I glanced again at the celebrating crowd, but I still couldn't see him.
"Thank you, I agree," I answered, curtly then saw how genuine he appeared and sighed. "Look, what happened between you and Charlotte was before my time. Had you both not done what you did, I wouldn't be standing here now. However, my loyalty lies with your brother. He was wronged and from how your family has accepted me, reading between the lines, I'm guessing Sawyer was in a very bad place for a while."
James looked genuinely guilty and remorseful for what he'd done and shook his head. "I'm so fucking sorry, truly I am." He shrugged and nodded into the crowd again. "I'm living with the consequence of it every day. I lost the respect of my family, but it's no more than I deserve."
"If you feel this way, I don't understand why you're still with her."
"At first I felt I had no choice. What we did to Sawyer was horrible, but at the time my parents wouldn't let me explain. I suppose I'd deserved that because I'd never been kind to Sawyer growing up." He sniffed and chewed the side of his mouth. "When my father threw me out, I booked into the Four Seasons for a few days. I wanted time to think about how I could make things right, before I realized nothing I could do ever would. I felt distraught things with Charlotte had gotten out of hand."
"Or were you just sorry you got caught? You can't expect me to believe you when she's still with you." James flashed me a dark look, like the one I'd seen in Sawyer's eyes when he spoke to Logan for challenging me that day we arrived back at my house on his motorcycle.
"Sawyer went through some shit, but so did I. At first, I ignored Charlotte's texts, calls, and messages until three days later when her mom called to say Charlotte was threatening to hurt herself, that I'd thrown myself at her daughter and she told me all kinds of shit Charlotte was saying about me, none of which was true. I knew deep down Charlotte would never do anything to harm herself—she's far too selfish and body conscious for that—but I couldn't take that risk, because I already knew the lengths she had gone to. I mean, I resisted her for a long time, but she's such a manipulative bitch and she still got me to fuck her."
"This still doesn't tell me why you're still with her." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair again, and my goodness, he looked just like his brother when he did it.
"The call from her mom was Charlotte manipulating things for her benefit, but it worked, and I called her back. It was then she dropped the bomb that she was pregnant."
"Pregnant?"
"Yes. Trust me, at first, I thought it was another bullshit move to take control of the situation. She'd lost Sawyer, and in her sick way, I was the next best thing in whatever game she was playing. I never thought I'd let any girl fuck up my world, but Charlotte has done it with style. I lost my family and most of my friends because of our betrayal. I didn't believe she was pregnant and got her to pee on a stick in front of me. Sure as shit, there were two blue lines on the fucking pregnancy test."
"There's no baby now, is there?" I asked, confused because no one mentioned a child.
"Three months later she lost our baby," he said, his tone flat.
I blinked unsure how to respond. Eventually, I mumbled, "I'm sorry. No one told me that."
"No one knows. Apart from you now, obviously," he added, flatly. "We've never told the families. She was almost three months pregnant and I had dropped her off for her first OBGYN prenatal appointment earlier that day. I asked her if she'd wanted me to go with her, but she insisted on doing it alone. Afterward, I met up with her again, took her to dinner before heading home, and she suddenly felt unwell. I waited for around fifteen minutes with her in the restroom then asked a waitress to check on her. By then it was too late."
"She miscarried?"
He nodded. "Any animosity I felt about her fell away. Charlie was a mess, both physically and mentally. I couldn't leave her after that. If it happens, it needs to be her move, and unless she can get her claws back into Sawyer, I don't see that happening any time soon."
"You're not obliged to stay with her," I offered. "You only get one life, and you will never reconcile with your family as long as you're together."
"Look, I should have known better. I was the more mature party in all of this."
When I heard James's comment I was taken aback, reminded he was only a year younger than me, and how he thought this had affected his judgement when it came to Charlotte. I eyed him studiously for a moment, and it was easy to see how Sawyer would look at my age. My heart immediately sank when my next thought was how I would look by then.
What was even more unnerving was looking at his brother's clean-shaven face and immaculate grooming, which reminded me of the first time I met Sawyer.
The resemblance between them was uncanny. It was a weird feeling. Knowing what I did about James, I knew I wasn't supposed to like him for what he'd done, yet after hearing his version of events between him and Charlotte I had warmed a little toward him.
I wondered if he was suddenly less offensive to me because of how similar and familiar Sawyer and his brother looked, but I didn't get time to think about it further because Lorna came up alongside me and linked her arm in mine.
"We need you," she said, ignoring her brother and steered me away from him and through the now dancing crowd. "What did he want?" she asked, glancing over her shoulder at him again.
"He was wishing us luck," I replied, not wishing to cause further animosity.
"The least he can do. Come on, Sawyer needs rescuing," she informed me, and I saw him standing to the right of the French doors into the house with Charlotte still bending his ear. Pulling away from Lorna, I walked quickly toward him and stepped between them, slid my arms around his waist, and he immediately mimicked my move.
"There you are," he murmured seductively, pulling me flush against him and kissing me chastely on the lips.
Looking over my left shoulder to where Charlotte stood with an indignant look on her snooty face. "You still here?" I asked sarcastically.
Sawyer chuckled. "Bye, Charlotte, happy New Year," he added flatly before leading me back inside the house. "What was that about?" Sawyer asked, and I bunched my brow, confused for a second until it dawned on me that he must have been watching me talk to James, despite Charlotte's confrontation.
"Just getting acquainted," I offered.
"And that's how I want you to stay—acquaintances," he snapped, and the mixed look of hurt and jealousy in his eyes hurt my soul. I'd never seen Sawyer jealous or feeling threatened by anything until then, and I felt it necessary to reassure him.
"Don't speak to me as if I were one of the Charlottes of this world, Sawyer. I deserve better than that. When all is said and done, he's still your brother. What happened is why we're together. My view of him compared to yours differs significantly because of this. I don't condone for a minute what he and Charlotte did, but like he said, there were two of them, not just him. Charlotte still has her family, but what does he have? I'd say he's taken his punishment and in the short time, I've met him he's readily poured his heart out, like he needs someone to listen. If as you say there is truly nothing between you and that girl anymore, it may be the time to hear what he has to say."
"Seriously, Billie? You have no idea…"
"That's right, I don't. I'm trying to be objective. Bear in mind how I've seen how Charlotte has tried every which way to monopolize your time this evening, while James has stood on the sidelines. His actions say a lot more about him as a person than hers do, yet she's the one you appear willing to make all the concessions toward."
"We're not doing this, not today," Sawyer snapped again. I knew Charlotte and James were a touchy subject, but from my perspective, I also had information Sawyer hadn't been told on the matter. I figured it might have made a difference and could pave the way to him listening to what James had to say.
"You're right. We're not, but this conversation isn't over
. I'm a big girl, Sawyer. What James did was a monumental betrayal, and it created a massive family feud, but if you're determined to make it with me, maybe you need to consider if this thing between you and James can ever be reconciled. Because like you said, you and I are all that matter now."
The furious look he cast was alien to me, but after my pointed comment, the one he used on me when my confidence waned, I felt determined to hash out our feelings about James and Charlotte once and for all. Otherwise, I'd be forever wondering when the day would come when she'd wear Sawyer down, just like James said she did with him.
Moving around the social groups, Sawyer chatted as if the exchange between us had never taken place until I slowly relaxed again, and we slipped back to the feeling of closeness I normally felt when we were together.
Ronald called Sawyer over and they were soon deep in conversation with the two older men besides his father. I was finishing a conversation, so I didn't go with him. Seeing him deep in discussion, I slipped out for a trip to the half bath restroom down the hall.
I was under the impression Charlotte and James had gone because I hadn't seen them since my brief conversation with James almost an hour earlier. This was my mistake; I should have known she was watching me. As soon as I left Sawyer's side, Charlotte attempted to hijack my bathroom break for the second time that week. This time, I was better prepared and the resistance she met wasn't as expected.
Eventually, she stopped trying to push me backward and I let the door close behind me, effectively pinning myself against it. Using her height to tower over me, she began to tell me my fiancé belonged to her.
"Why are you persisting with this? I mean, you made a choice when you slept with James. Hell, you almost had a child with him." My breath caught in my throat as I hadn't meant for Sawyer's brother's disclosure to pass from my lips.
"Ha. Really? James told you of all people about that?" she hissed, her face close to mine. "You think I really would have had the wrong brother's baby? He thought I'd gone to an OBGYN prenatal appointment, but I went to have a chemical abortion instead. They told me it would be a day, maybe more, before it passed, but that night he insisted eating before we went home, and the meds worked a lot faster than I expected."
DARE You, Dare Duet, Part One: Billie and Sawyer: Unchained Attraction Series Page 28