by Tanya Chris
“Hailey lives in Ball’s End?”
“Hailey lives at the store. He eats leftovers that nice Puerto Rican ladies send him and the crumbs of AA cookies. And he feeds me off that too. Doesn’t even tell me to go buy my own damned food, just dishes it out for me.”
“Very communist of him,” Declan said, managing to sound unimpressed. “He doesn’t have much, but what he has, he shares. But back up a second. Hailey lives at the store?”
Shit. He shouldn’t have mentioned that. “There’s a space in the back.”
“Not a living space.”
“Well, no. It probably wasn’t intended that way.”
Declan reached over Mac’s arm for the mouse. He navigated through a few folders until he found the leases for 502 Main Street. “That’s what I thought. His lease definitely precludes residential use of the space. The lower floor is zoned commercial only.” Declan straightened up and gave Mac a hearty slap on the shoulder. “You did it. You found our smoking gun. And here I thought you getting cozy with him was a bad move.”
“Declan, wait. You can’t use that.” Mac snatched Declan’s phone away from his ear.
“Why not? It’s what we’ve been looking for. I’ll have him out by the end of the month, and we can finally get this party started.”
“Because I don’t want you to.” He tossed Declan’s phone onto his desk. “I’m asking you not to.”
“You’re asking me not to evict the business that’s been keeping this project from moving forward for over a month now?” Declan’s tone conveyed the absurdity of Mac’s position.
Nevertheless.
“Yes, that’s what I’m asking. As a friend.” He straightened up. “And as a client. You work for me, remember?”
“I’m also one of your investors. You remember that? That’s my money tied up in 502 Main Street. My money and other people’s money, not just yours. Maybe you want to indulge your boyfriend, but I doubt anyone else is going to see it that way.”
“Then don’t tell them. It’s not like you need the money. It’s not like any of them do. Don’t do this to me. Please.”
“Shit, that boy has turned you soft.” Declan shook his head. “The whole reason you went down to that store in the first place was to get him the fuck out of it. So let’s get him the fuck out already.”
Mac’s stomach heaved at the thought of being responsible for getting Hailey evicted. He’d left the matter of how to get Hailey out—if they managed to get him out at all—up to his team precisely because he didn’t want to be responsible. And now it was all about to go down in the worst possible way.
“Mac. Take a breath.” Declan guided him back into his chair. “This doesn’t have to be a bad thing. You want him to move in with you, right?”
“Like he’s going to move in with me if I get him evicted. He already thinks I’m a monster.”
“See, that right there is why I’m not crazy about this guy.” Declan squeezed Mac’s shoulders through his suit. “When did it change from convincing Hailey that our project is good to convincing him that you’re good? He’s got you tied up in knots over being yourself when you happen to be one of the best people I know. How can he be the right guy for you if you’re not the right guy for him?”
“Because I want to be the right guy for him, Declan.”
“Okay, so this is your chance to show him what a great guy you really are.”
“How would getting him thrown out on the street because I spilled his secrets show him I’m a great guy?”
“Because, first, there’s no reason for him to know you had anything to do with it. We could’ve found out about him living in the back of his store any number of ways. I’ll send one of the leasing agents down there for a mandatory landlord inspection. If he’s living there, it’s gonna be obvious, right?”
Mac nodded. Though he had somehow missed the signs himself, they were pretty obvious. Mattress on the floor, dishes above the sink, a towel hanging from an exposed pipe. A fucking toothbrush.
“Then, second, what do you think’s going to happen when he gets evicted? He’s gonna turn to his guy. To you. And you’re going to rescue him. Take him in like you want to. Get him up on his feet again. Somewhere else.”
“Don’t you think I’d do that if he’d let me?”
“Once he’s homeless, he’ll let you. It’s win-win, and you don’t even have to be involved. I’m going to send an agent over there. I’m not asking you to say yes. I’m just going to walk out of here and do it. All you have to do is not stop me.”
Declan lifted his hands from Mac’s shoulders. He swept his phone into his pocket, then stepped out from behind the desk. Mac’s eyes followed his easy stroll as he moved gracefully toward the door, a little slower even than Declan usually rolled but not checking back for Mac’s approval. And then he was gone—through the door and down the hall, until not even the sound of his footsteps lingered.
Mac could call him back, of course. Chase after him. Or just pick up the phone. Send an email. There were a lot of ways he could stop what was about to happen. But then he’d have to explain his actions to the other investors, which included his own parents. He’d have to explain why his romantic entanglements were more important than keeping the project on schedule, than returning the profit he’d promised to return.
And to the city too. He’d emptied out a building, a building that was now little more than his and Hailey’s private love nest. Whatever Hailey might think of the size and cost of the new units or the demographics of the new tenants, even he would have to agree that full was better than empty.
Without the blinders of love, Mac could see all too clearly that Hailey’s position didn’t make sense. It was a token gesture, helping no one. And much like lying down in the middle of a highway, it was an inconvenience primarily to ordinary people trying to go about their lives. Rich and powerful men like Mac weren’t stuck in the resulting traffic jam. They hovered over it in helicopters.
Sure, Mac’s investors would like to turn around the money they’d put into the project as fast as possible, but none of them would be hurting even if their entire investment disappeared in a puff of smoke. It was the people still living in Ball’s End, the ones who didn’t have a grocery store anymore, who needed the project to move as fast as possible.
And none of that made Mac feel any better. It explained why his ass remained in his chair and his hand didn’t reach for his phone, but it didn’t change the deep-down awareness that he’d betrayed Hailey and might never be forgiven for it.
He forced himself to stay laser-focused on his work as the increased bustle around the office told him it was happening. People were awakening to the fact that C&G would finally be moving forward with the renovation of 502 Main Street. When Mac walked past reception to get to the men’s room just before quitting time and Elisa gave him a hooded glare instead of her usual dazzling smile, he had all the confirmation he needed. Hailey’s Comic was in the process of being evicted, and everyone at C&G knew it.
Lately on Mondays, Mac was the first one out the door. Back before Hailey, he’d loved Mondays because work was where he felt most alive, but now he loved them for another reason. On Mondays, Hailey’s store closed early with no extracurricular activities to keep him hanging around, so they usually brought takeout back to the loft. Hailey would do his laundry while they ate and fucked, maybe watched a movie or just lounged around half-naked and talking.
If Mac could believe the fairy tale Declan had spun for him, every day would be Monday now, with nowhere else for Hailey to be except at the loft, and Mac would buy him so many clothes he’d need to do laundry three times a week just to keep up.
Too bad Mac didn’t believe in fairy tales.
This Monday, he hung around the office long after it grew quiet and empty. If he’d known yesterday might be their last day together, he’d have held Hailey tighter last night, spent longer watching him sleep this morning, woken him for a goodbye kiss. Hailey always spread out to take
up the entire futon as soon as Mac got out of it, sprawling wide on his stomach, hands and feet stretching to the corners of the mattress, head buried in the pillow they shared because Hailey only had one.
Some mornings Mac considered rejoining the naked, messy sprawl of his lover. Some mornings he even did—the hell with meetings and to-do lists—but this morning he’d bounced off to work, content to know he’d have Hailey all to himself tonight.
But, no. Even if Hailey hadn’t been served yet, Mac didn’t know how to pretend it wasn’t coming. And if Hailey had been served, there’d be his wrath to face.
Hailey didn’t answer the light rap on his back door or respond to a text either. Fear raised electric prickles on Mac’s neck as he circled around to the front, surprised to find the lights on and the sign flipped to Open despite it being well past six. Through the large windows framing the door, he saw Hailey near the cash register, a piece of paper in his hand, seemingly frozen in place.
Hailey turned toward the ring that announced Mac’s arrival, his face lighting up to see him. A feeling of pure relief flashed through Mac. Just as Declan had predicted, Hailey didn’t know the eviction notice was his fault, and he was turning to Mac for help. Also as Declan had predicted. And Mac would give it to him. Hailey would ask him to stop the eviction process, and he’d do it. He would absolutely do it. Fuck what anyone else thought. He should’ve stopped Declan earlier, but this was better. Hailey needed him now. In all this time, it’d been him needing Hailey, but now Hailey needed him.
“What is it?” he asked, mindful of the fact that he wasn’t supposed to know.
“A process server came by as I was closing up.” Hailey handed him the piece of paper, and he pretended to scan it. “I guess that’s it,” Hailey said with a little laugh. “Can’t say I didn’t try, but they got me fair and square.”
“What do you mean?”
“What it says there about me violating my lease by using the space for residential purposes. You know I did. Carlos pretended not to notice, same as we all pretended not to notice how the building wasn’t up to code. That’s the way things work around here, but I get it. C&G’s not from around here. They play by other rules.”
Hailey took the eviction notice from Mac and stuffed it into a folder near the cash register, then rubbed his hands over his bare arms in a hugging motion. “Hey, I’m sorry I didn’t call before you drove all the way over here, but I’m not going to be good company tonight. I’ve gotta figure out what to do.”
“You don’t have to figure it out alone.”
“I sort of do. I mean, I could locate my parents. They’re usually in the Southwest this time of year, which is a beautiful part of the country. I’m sure they’d let me stay with them short-term, and it’d be nice to see some of my old friends. But that’s not the life I want to go back to.”
“Of course it isn’t. Why would you even think of that?” Panicked, Mac reached for Hailey’s wrist and used it to tug him forward into his arms. Why wasn’t Hailey asking for help? What had happened to the second part of Declan’s plan? If this eviction sent Hailey scurrying off to wherever the hell his parents were, Mac would absolutely murder Declan. “You’re coming home with me like we talked about Friday night.”
Hailey pushed out of his arms. He twined his hair into a knot on top of his head as he walked away. “I’m not moving in with you, Greg. That’s what we talked about Friday night. I need to be here.”
“But now—”
“Now even more. I’ve got less than a month before the sheriff throws me out on my ass. I can’t afford to spend time commuting. There’s a lot to wrap up. I’m sorry.” Hailey paced back and forth a few times, his hands clenching in his hair, pulling down the knot he’d just made.
“Can I…?” Mac reached out to stop him. This frantic motion was so unlike Hailey’s usual energy. Hailey shrugged him off with a jerk of his shoulder.
“I need space. Or something. Time to… fuck, I don’t even know.” Hailey shook his head, the movement traveling down his whole body. “Come on, I’ll let you out the back. It’ll be easier than walking around.”
This was horrible. A nightmare. Hailey didn’t even know what Mac had done, and already he was pushing him out. Out of the store, out of his life.
“Hailey. Move in with me. I’ll buy you a car. We’ll find you a new store. I’ll help you look. I know real estate agents. We’ll find you something nicer, and I’ll help you move. We can put the books in storage while we look. I’ll call a moving company tomorrow. They can box everything up. You don’t even have to be involved.”
“I want to be involved. This is my store. This is three years of my life. I put everything into this place. You think you can just dismantle it and reconstruct it into something trendier and brighter on the other side of town? This is exactly what you’ve never understood about this building, Greg. It’s not just an address. It’s people’s lives. It’s my life.”
With a sob, Hailey crumpled, and Mac was there to grab him, to cradle him and catch him. He managed to get Hailey through the curtain and down onto the futon, where he tried to tell himself that everything would be all right. This was their safe space, the place where they were together, where Hailey could tease him about being a capitalist without really being mad about it.
But the futon wasn’t magic. It couldn’t fix what Mac had broken when he’d let Declan walk out of his office, because what he’d broken was Hailey. All Mac could do was hold him while he cried.
“I know Ball’s End is kind of a shithole,” Hailey said through his sniffles, “but I don’t want to leave it. This place saved me.” He swiped a hand across his eyes, and soft tears welled out to replace the angry ones he’d brushed away. The unexpected burst of temper had blown over, but behind it was something worse. Sorrow.
“Tell me how.” He would take all the guilt Hailey wanted to dole out, allow it to twist in his stomach the way he deserved.
“Did I ever tell you I worked for Andersen Decker after college?”
“Those weasels?” Andersen Decker, LLC was C&G’s closest competition. Mac wasn’t surprised they’d wanted to hire someone with Hailey’s educational background, but he was surprised Hailey would have been willing to work for them. He’d have been managing exactly the sort of projects he was fighting now.
“Hated it,” Hailey confirmed. “I loved studying urban planning, but executing on it was less about building a utopian community where the trees outnumber the cars and more about sequencing traffic lights to lure people into box stores.”
Yeah, Mac had worked on a few of those projects himself.
“I was floundering.” Hailey pulled away, maybe only so he could speak more clearly, but Mac missed him even across those few inches.
“Transitioning from college to work can be tough,” he said, trying to persuade him closer again.
“It was my first time not having a community. Everyone was so separate. They were nice enough, but it was, like, here’s my cubicle and there’s yours and then you go to your apartment and I’ll go to mine, and maybe we’ll have a drink Friday night but maybe everyone’s busy. I was supposed to have my own life, but I didn’t.”
For Mac, who’d grown up with not just his own bedroom but his own playroom, college had been a little claustrophobic. He’d been happy to move into a place of his own after graduation. But Hailey was a more social person, whether because of the way he’d been raised or just by nature. Mac could understand why he’d have struggled with leading a middle-class corporate life.
“I had a lot of clothes, though,” Hailey said with an ironic laugh. “I had the money for them and the time to shop, since I wasn’t doing anything else.”
“And you wore those clothes to work?” Mac asked doubtfully.
“Let’s just say that there was a compromise between my style and the dress code. But no, I wore my fancier stuff out. Coffee shops, clubs. Looking for that community.”
Great. Now Mac was imagining Hailey on the dan
ce floor, how fine he’d look—free and loose and swirling with silk or sparkling with sequins. Mac’s selfish interest in keeping Hailey to himself meant he’d missed seeing Hailey in a club setting thus far. He made a note to remedy that. But he was glad Hailey hadn’t become a club boy, that he’d found his community elsewhere, even if it was a grotty place like Ball’s End.
“So how’d you end up here?”
“Andersen Decker had me doing reconnaissance on Main Street. I saw a For Rent sign in the window, and I just went for it. I was drowning in loneliness, not to mention the soul-crushing awareness that I was doing more harm than good. Something had to change, and that sign was like a sign. That’s why I say Ball’s End saved me.”
“So you want to save it.”
“It’s not like I can. I can’t even save Hailey’s Comic.” Hailey sighed, and another spear of guilt shot through Mac. God, if Hailey would just ask him to, he’d cancel the whole project—buy the building and give it to Hailey as a present. Do anything, no matter how unreasonable.
He buried his head on Hailey’s chest, the urge to cry welling up in him. As if he had anything to cry about.
“So why a bookstore?” he asked, needing to hear Hailey talk. The honey-smooth lightness of his voice dripped comfort down Mac’s spine.
“I was homeschooled, obviously, and internet access was rare, so books were my everything. I was a regular at every used bookstore the circuit went near. I’d sell back the books I’d read, buy new ones. There’s nothing you can’t learn at a used bookstore.”
“Nothing that’s not ancient history, anyway.” Some of the textbooks Mac shelved while he waited for book club to end on Wednesdays couldn’t possibly be relevant anymore.
“Humanity doesn’t change that fast. Sometimes it’s comforting to realize that. We think our problems are so unique, but they aren’t. They’re just updates on the same old human condition. Or maybe that’s a justification,” Hailey said with humor in his voice. “Maybe I decided on a used bookstore because that was the stock I could afford.”