‘My flatmate is at Anfield this afternoon. Do you want to go back to mine?’
I just nod mutely. It’s either that or I’m going to screw him in the front seat of my car. I can’t process anything else apart from getting this man naked and having him take my virginity. I feel like my whole life has been screaming towards this moment, everything that came before not mattering at all.
‘You’re sure?’ he asks, his eyes searching mine as he cups my face and he closes them briefly as he kisses the corner of my mouth before sliding his tongue between my eagerly open lips.
I can’t speak, I’m full of him, so I just nod against his lips and I hear a sexy growl from the back of this throat. Gasping, he breaks away again, shifting awkwardly underneath me for a moment and I get the sense that his tightly packed jeans aren’t exactly comfortable any more.
I slide regretfully back into the driver’s seat, but one of us has to get us out of here and if he kisses me like that for much longer, I’m going to pass the point of no return. I blow out a shaking breath, starting the engine and sliding a look at him, as I pull my belt over my shoulder. I can’t help but ogle him for a few seconds before putting the car into gear.
Being turned on suits him. There’s a soft flush over his angular cheekbones, his full lips are swollen even further from kissing, but it’s his beautiful eyes that make my heart stutter. He’s all pupils, they’re completely blown out with desire and he looks sexy as hell.
He shakes his head as if in confusion for a moment, before leaning forward and keying his post code into the sat nav and I smile my thanks, easing out of the car park and back the way that we came ten minutes ago. I suddenly pang with shame. I came here to ride Nelson, the amazing and no doubt eye-wateringly expensive performance horse that was gifted to me yesterday, but I’m powerless. I’m thankful again that he’s on full livery and I don’t even have to muck out.
We drive back to Liverpool in that companionable silence again, until we reach the outskirts of the city centre. I pull the Mini to a stop at a set of red lights and I turn to look at Carter. He really does look miles away now, he’s thinking about something and I can see him chewing his lip. He feels my eyes on him as he turns and smiles, seeming to shake himself in his mind. He reaches out for my hand and I give it to him as he brings it to his lips and kisses the tips of my fingers softly.
The navigation guides me slowly through the streets until we’re pulling up outside a large townhouse, the soft feminine voice telling me that I have reached my destination. I pull into the side of the road, killing the engine.
I look at the house he lives in. It’s well appointed, in a decent area and there’s a new black Audi Coupe parked on the forecourt at the front. I’m not sure if the car belongs to Carter or his flatmate, but then he’s popping his seatbelt, turning in his seat and looking at me again. He doesn’t seem in any hurry to get out of the car and into the house and I get the feeling that he’s got something to say. Something that he’s been thinking about saying on the drive here. I feel a shiver of foreboding. I hope he’s not about to tell me that he’s changed his mind… it’ll destroy me and I cringe inside with the imagined humiliation.
He sighs. ‘Pearl, I’m going to be honest with you here. I’ve just come out of a messy relationship breakup and I’m not necessarily equipped for what we’re about to do, but I’m helpless to resist you. The moment I saw your face… you’re so fucking beautiful…’ he breathes and then he’s leaning into me, pulling my chin round so that he can reach my lips and he takes me gently with his mouth. I’m gasping again when he pulls away and he strokes my cheek with his knuckles.
‘Are you sure you want to do this?’ he asks quietly and I just nod. I want this more than I’ve ever wanted anything in my entire life. In fact, I can think about nothing else and if he doesn’t get on with it, I’m going to spontaneously combust.
I know that as soon as I go into that house, I’m past the point of no return, but in reality, I was past it last night, as soon as his mouth first met mine. I’m powerless to resist this man, I have no idea what he’s done to me but whatever it is, I have an awful feeling that it’s not only permanent, but it’s going to get worse.
Well, it definitely will if you shag him.
Without a doubt, but again, I don’t give a toss.
Nine
We get out of the car and I lock it, following him up to the front door. He lets us quietly into the house, standing to one side and then closing the door behind me.
I find myself in a wide hallway, flooded with afternoon sunlight from a large window at the far side. The floor is polished wood, the stairs wide and carpeted with a thick runner, large plants everywhere. It’s a beautiful home and I wonder if it belongs to him or his housemate, or if they rent? Something else to talk to him about, but as I turn from drinking the place in and my eyes lock with him, I know that talking’s the furthest thing from both of our minds.
He’s leaning casually back on the closed front door, his hands held in soft fists at his sides. His eyes burn green fire.
‘Come here,’ he whispers, his voice soaked with so much want that my feet carry my body over to him automatically and in a couple of seconds I’m an inch away and gazing up at him. He brings his hands up and places them on my shoulders, the thin material of my clothes no barrier from the heat of his palms and the soft electrical impulses that shoot through my body at the feel of him. I tip my face to his, our breath in each other’s mouths now.
He slides a hand from my shoulder up to the tie holding my hair back and he tugs it free. His mouth is only a fraction away from my own and we exchange gasped breaths as my thick blonde hair escapes, tumbling over my shoulders and around my face. Carter shoves both his hands through it, groaning softly.
‘What are you making me feel?’ he whispers again and then crashes his mouth down onto mine. I close my eyes in bliss at the feel of his lips, now becoming so familiar, the way that they take control, demanding and yet giving so much back. I spasm against him as he wipes me out, his soft groans each time he breaks away and then reconnects with me making me weak at the knees. I clutch him to me desperately, breaking away from his mouth in agitation now.
I need to talk to him. I need to tell him that I’m so terribly inexperienced. I’m not only a virgin, I’ve done nothing else either. I’ve never even had a bloody orgasm, rare for an eighteen year old girl, even if she is a virgin. Most young women have done some DIY experimentation by now, but not me. Most of my life I’ve been focussed on living on my wits, not pleasuring myself at my own hand. I wish now that I had. At least I’d have something to tell him, as pathetic as it’d be. He doesn’t even know that he’s the first man to French kiss me.
He stands and holds me quietly, his head dipped to my neck and I can feel the warmth of his breath through the hair pooled in my collarbone. I try to think of how to start the conversation I need to have. I can’t just blurt it out, I’d die with shame. My breathing finally returning to normal now I’m not kissing him, another thought sidles nastily into my mind.
What if you tell him and he’s horrified, asks you to leave?
I can’t even consider that as a possibility. It would destroy what little self-confidence I have, and I’d never get it back. I’m not unattractive and I know that I have beautiful hair, but he might balk at my inexperience. Looking at the bloke, women no doubt throw themselves at him every day and I’ll bet he knows exactly what he’s doing in bed. This might repulse him.
Only one way to find out and that’s to tell him.
I lift my face hesitantly from the sanctuary of his neck, but make the fatal mistake of kissing and nipping his throat as I go. He gasps and groans at the feel of me and, emboldened that I’m making this stunning man come apart at my touch, I unzip his leather jacket, pushing the soft hide from his shoulders and onto the floor. As soon as the sleeves are over his hands, he grabs me, turning me and slamming me up against the wood, shoving his hot body against me.
&nbs
p; ‘Oh fuck…’ he breathes and then his mouth is back on mine. I’m helpless, I can’t tell him anything at the moment, all I can process is the sensation and the hot throbbing that’s now between my legs with every beat of my ecstatic heart. Unable to help myself, I drop my right hand and stroke it up the front of his jeans and his breath hitches.
‘You have no idea just how much I want you,’ he murmurs, bending at the knees suddenly and sweeping me from the floor. His mouth dips to mine again, his tongue tracing delicately across my teeth before biting my lower lip gently.
He strides quickly up the wide staircase, kicking open a door at the top of the landing, his mouth never leaving mine. I’m gasping against him as he walks into a large bedroom, booting the door shut behind him and he carries me over to a double bed in the corner of the room. When he reaches it, he puts me down, stroking my face as his lips regretfully leave mine. He closes his eyes and leans our foreheads together and I can feel his heart crashing in his chest. He’s trembling.
I say nothing, still, despite my need to fess up as my shaking fingers try to undo the buttons of his shirt. They fumble with the tiny things and Carter says nothing as he sees me concentrating, trying to get the material open, a slight smile snaking from one side of his mouth. He shoves his hair out of his eyes as I get the final button undone and I push the material over his broad shoulders, finally seeing his naked upper body for the first time.
I swallow hard, dragging my gaze up and down him repeatedly. His muscles are honed, sharply defined and sculpted, his chest broad, his waist narrow. His abs are solid, channelling down to a perfect V that disappears under the waistband of his jeans, but the perfection of his form is gone from my mind when I see his tattoo.
A beautiful, detailed bird – a phoenix, I realise when I see the colours. It’s exquisite, it looks like a painting and my mouth drops open as I take it in. It’s large, curling up and around the slope of his right pectoral and diagonally across his torso, the spectacular plumed tail draping his lower abs and curling around his left hip. It’s the most incredible piece of body art I’ve ever seen in my life and my fingers come up to trace the delicately inked bird, the rainbow of colours so spellbinding that I want to lean forward and kiss it.
So I do.
‘It’s so beautiful,’ I breathe against him, looking up as my mouth drifts over the primary muscles of his abdomen and his eyes slide slowly shut at the feel of me, his lips parting.
‘It’s not as beautiful as you,’ he replies softly, hissing when I take his nipple gently between my teeth and biting gently. I want to kiss every inch of his body, take my time, get to know every freckle, scar and laughter line.
He gently takes hold of my shoulders, indicating that he wants me to stand up and my mouth breaks away from his chest. I run my eager hands over the slopes of his pectorals, marvelling at the way my fingers rise and dip as they follow the subtle contours of his body. It’s evident that he takes very good care of himself and I trail my fingers lightly through the small thatch of soft coppery hair that nestles on his sternum.
He gives me a slow, beautiful smile as his own fingers come up now to tackle my shirt buttons and I lower my arms, standing quietly just gazing at him. As he reaches the last one he leans forward, spreading the cotton and dipping his head to my collarbone as he pushes the shirt down my arms. My own eyes close at the feel of his warm lips on my skin and he kisses his way down my chest, his chin nudging the lace of my bra-cup to one side and he caresses the top of my breast with his mouth. I flood and shudder at the feel of him and again, try to marshal my brain to tell him that I’m a virgin. I wonder vaguely and stupidly for a moment whether I should actually bother.
Really? You think he’s not going to realise, when you have no idea what the hell to do, you’re lying there wincing with pain and then you bleed all over his nice clean sheets?
Shit. That’s not a solution and as Carter’s hands move around the back of me, to undo my bra, I finally get some words out. I reach up and take his hands, threading our fingers. I need to touch him when I tell him this, I’m suddenly afraid. I shouldn’t have let things get this far before spilling the beans.
‘Carter,’ I say, my voice wobbling and he locks our eyes again. ‘There’s something I need to tell you.’ He gives me a sweet smile and a soft kiss.
‘What’s that?’ he whispers against my mouth, drifting his lips across mine and the sensation is mind-blowing.
Say it! Now!
‘It’s just, I…’ I gulp and screw my eyes up for a beat, unable now to keep looking at him when I say the words. ‘I’ve never done this before,’ I finish pathetically and I drop my head, resting my forehead on his chest. I know I’ve blown him away when I feel his heart start to thump underneath my skin.
He gently pulls away, a long finger tipping my chin so that he can look into my eyes. There’s another emotion in his green gaze now, as well as the others that always seem to be circulating, and this one’s approaching awe. His lips are parted, his breathing quick.
‘You’re a virgin?’ he asks hoarsely and I do nothing but nod up at him mutely, my eyes glossy with tears. I need him to say something, not just gawk at me like he’s just undressed me and discovered I was born a bloke! I bite my lip. He shakes his head, clenching his eyes shut for a moment, as if in pain.
‘I don’t believe this,’ he groans and then his mouth is back on mine, without warning, his tongue shockingly invasive but so, so, welcome. He wraps his arms around me and pulls me tightly into him and I melt, my knees shaking. He’s euphoric, I can feel it. The knowledge that I’m surrendering myself to him and that no man on the planet has been where he is now.
You do realise what’s going to happen the minute you let him make love to you, don’t you? He’ll ruin it for anyone who might come after.
Without a doubt he will but I can’t stop this now. I haven’t got a hope in hell of stopping it. I hadn’t from the minute I tipped my wine down his shirt. It was fate.
‘Baby…’ he moans now, breaking away from my lips. He’s starting to sweat, his forehead glistening and his hairline darkening as it dampens. He strokes my face, running his nose the length of mine. ‘I want you so much, you have no fucking idea…’
With a deft flick of his fingers, he undoes my bra, and he drags the straps down my arms, dropping it carelessly to the floor. He takes his lip between his teeth as he brings trembling hands up to stroke my breasts closing his eyes for moment as his breath hitches.
‘So beautiful,’ he murmurs, reaching for the button on my jodhpurs as my own fingers move eagerly to the button fly on his jeans and within another thirty seconds, all I’m wearing is a thong and he, tight black boxer briefs. Tightly packed, more like – I can’t take my eyes away from thick length of muscle I can see embedded in the soft cotton. The thing looks bloody enormous and I twitch a smile when I realise that I’m about to see a cock for the first time. The smile slips when I’m reminded where it’ll be going.
That’s going to hurt.
Without a doubt, but I still want to do this. There isn’t a man alive and walking this planet that I would choose over Carter Jackson to take my virginity. I’m giving it to him willingly, placing it at his feet and then kissing them. I want him so much, desire thundering through my mind now and flattening everything in its path. I’m barely holding onto it.
My eyes sweep his torso again, delighting for a second over the incredible tattoo, and I take a step closer to him, stroking my hand slowly up the front of his shorts. He barks and swears, dropping his head back, his curls falling away from his face. He clenches his fists again at his sides. I squeeze his arousal and he flinches, dropping his head to mine again and covering my mouth with his.
He picks me up, turning and he places me gently onto the soft navy blue duvet of his large bed, before climbing on beside me. I lie with my head on the pillows, staring up at him, my eyes wide and my mouth hanging. My breath is coming in gasps as he lies down next to me, propping his head up on on
e elbow. His other hand traces lightly over my trembling body, my nipple puckering sweetly as it experiences his brushing fingers and then they’re drifting south, over my flat belly and down, where they linger near my hipbone, at the entrance to my less than pristine panties. My chest heaves as I look up at him, his emerald eyes glowing in the soft afternoon light coming through the tall windows.
‘Have you got… I mean, I don’t… I’m not…’
All that’s coming out of my mouth is utter garbage, he’s scrambling my brain. I’m trying to tell him that I’m not on birth control and that I don’t have any condoms, obviously, but the words won’t come. He gives me a gentle smile. I really don’t get how he seems to understand my gibberish, maybe he can read my mind? Why not – he’s possessed the rest of me.
His fingers retreat disappointingly from the edge of my panties and he brings them up to run them slowly over my lips. They part at the feel of him and I bite gently down on the pad of his index finger.
His eyes heat. ‘I’m not going to have sex with you, Pearl.’
I blink up at him, shock flooding me and chasing every ounce of the sweet desire away like a cold bucket of water. He’s undressed me, touched me, led me on… for what? To reject me when I’m at my most vulnerable, my most exposed?
Instinctively, my arms come up to cross over my naked breasts and I’m eternally grateful I still have my knickers on. My cheeks flush with shame now and I feel my eyes fill with tears. I bite my lip to stop them emerging, I’m not letting him see what his rejection has done to me, but as I go to sit up, horror floods his face when he realises what I’m thinking. That he doesn’t want me.
‘Shit! Oh fuck, Pearl… no! That’s not what I meant, Jesus…’ He pushes me gently down back onto the bed and takes my arms, removing the barrier that I’ve created over my body. ‘I’m sorry, that came out completely wrong.’ He kisses me softly, his eyes molten now.
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