‘Oh,’ she breathes when she looks at it and her chin’s wobbling again. It’s an angel, a beautiful blond man with his arms outstretched, his magnificent wings unfurled, but you can’t see his face. The angel is whoever you want him to be.
‘Justin, look at this!’ she says, reading it quickly and flashing a smile, taking the smaller envelope from the centre and handing the card to her husband. I bite my lip. The idea was based on him. I couldn’t have his face painted on the card, that would have looked weird and fucked up, but the angel is buff and Justin’s not stupid.
His mouth pops open when he stares at the card, his eyes skipping all over it and when he looks at me, his blue gaze is filled with something unfathomable for a moment, just the trace of a smile on his lips.
Ellen’s ripping the smaller envelope open now and Justin nearly drops the card when she suddenly shrieks, the sound making us all jump. She reads quickly, squeaking, and then her head shoots up, her wildly excited eyes meeting mine.
‘Oh my fucking GOD! Pearl thank you!’ She shoves the piece of paper into Justin’s hands. ‘She’s bought me a tandem skydive!’ she squeals, throwing herself into my arms and hopping us both up and down ridiculously.
‘Wow!’ Carter’s gazing at me with real admiration in his soft green eyes and when Ellen finally lets me go, he takes hold of my hand, pulling me into warm body. Justin’s staring at me, speechless.
‘Ellen, seriously – you’re going to love it,’ Carter tells her. ‘There really is nothing like it, just pure adrenaline.’
I swing my head, looking up at him. ‘Have you done it?’
He smiles down at me. ‘I jump regularly, Pearl – well, as regularly as I can, but I’ve been an addict since my late teens. It comes close to being the most amazing feeling in the world.’
Ellen’s barely calmed down, but she’s reading the paper carefully now. Her head shoots up as Justin looks over at me, mouthing ‘thank you,’ and giving me a wide smile, which I return with a wink.
‘Carter if you’re an expert, can you be my jumping partner,’ she blurts and when she realises what she’s said, she goes the colour of a tomato, everyone cracking up with laughter. Justin throws her a mock furious look and she groans and shakes her head.
‘Sorry, that came out very wrong!’ No shit, El! ‘No, what I meant was, can I dive with you?’ Oh flaming hell! I’ve done it again!’ she snorts and Carter thankfully takes pity on my mortified, lovely friend-cum-foster-mum.
‘I would love to say yes, Ellen, but I’m not an instructor, just a jumper myself,’ he says. ‘You need to be with a professional when you tandem, which is understandable when you actually think about what you’re doing.’ He hikes a brow. ‘Jumping out of a plane at twenty thousand feet isn’t for the faint-hearted!’
Ellen beams at him. ‘Bring it! I can’t bloody wait!’ She steps forward and kisses me again. ‘Thanks, Pearl. I love you.’ She whispers the last words and I say them back to her. Carter turns his own card over in his hands now.
‘I had no idea what to get you Ellen, but happy birthday,’ he says, handing the card over almost sheepishly and she takes it, bumping his arm affectionately as she does.
‘You didn’t need to get me anything, Carter, honestly, but thank you,’ she smiles at him, running her finger under the flap and pulling out the birthday card. She smiles at the front, I can’t see it from here, but when she opens it, a piece of card slides out and she stoops to pick it up. She straightens whilst reading it and then gapes at the man standing next to me. He gives her an easy smile in return.
‘Oh my God,’ she mutters, her eyes skittering over the card for a long moment before she hands it to Justin, who reads it.
‘What is it?’ I whine childishly and Ellen gives me a wide smile.
‘It’s a weekend at The Priory Hotel in Dorset, including all meals and use of the grounds and Spa,’ she says, her eyes sparkling and Carter lets go of my hand as she comes over and pulls him into a hug. He dips his curly head into her neck for a moment and despite the fact that it’s Ellen, I still don’t like it. She’s another woman in Carter’s arms and it won’t do.
Ellen takes her cards and vouchers over to the pine sideboard and then the doorbell chimes. Justin grins widely at us all.
‘Okay, are we all on the same page? As far as Diane’s concerned, I’ve never had a pair of skis on in my life, why she never actually thought to ask me, I will never know – but I’ve got fifty quid and her reputation riding on this!’ His smile turns evil for a moment and I laugh.
‘I’m recording it, Jus. It’s going all over Facebook!’
‘She really thinks you can’t ski?’ Carter asks and Justin nods.
‘Diane’s completely unique in every way,’ he says affectionately. ‘She’s a bit like Marmite, she’s potty mouthed and potty brained, but she’s got a heart of gold and she’s incredibly loyal.’ His eyes soften for a moment before glinting again. ‘But she’s still going to crash and burn.’
Ellen rolls her eyes as she wanders off to answer the door.
Thirty
‘Happy birthday Ellen, you old fart!’
Diane’s beaming from ear to ear as she comes into the kitchen and I choke a laugh. She’s even wearing furry earmuffs, her hair in a long thick plait and she turns to Ellen, giving her a hug and a wet kiss on the cheek. Ryan comes in behind her and does the same.
Ellen’s glowing. She’s lit from within, so excited about the day ahead and I turn as Regan and a tall young man come into the kitchen from the hallway.
Jesus. You’ve hardly given her a thought for days on end? What the hell is wrong with you?
I’ve connected with her on Facebook and we’ve spoken through text, but I haven’t seen her since I frogmarched her out of Obsidian a week ago. We’re close, or at least we were, until Carter Jackson crashed into my life and blew everything else out of it. Regan however, is feeling no pain, by the size of the smile slicing her beautiful face and I take a step towards her as she approaches with her new boyfriend in tow.
Ollie.
I look at him appraisingly – well – look up at him would be a more apt description. I have no idea how old he is – late teens by the look of him, but he’s nearly as tall as Justin. He has a sweet smile, soft brown eyes and dark blond hair, he’s lovely looking and I grin up at him, my eyes flicking to Regan, waiting for her introduce us. Carter comes over to stand beside me, threading our fingers and I lean into him, Regan’s eyes widening when she looks up at his face.
‘Pearl, this is Ollie,’ she says shyly and I hold out my hand. He leans forward and takes it, his warm grip firm and I like him immediately. He has dimples too and I turn to Carter now, introducing him to them both and hands are shaken. We all turn, however, when Diane loses her grip on the urge to piss-take.
‘So, Mr Perfect – are you looking forward to a drubbing?’ she says, smiling evilly and rubbing her hands together. Ryan groans and shakes his head. I wonder if he’s fathomed it out – I’m sure he has, but he’s evidently not intending to spoil the fun.
Justin strokes his new skis lovingly.
‘Di, have you ever heard the phrase ‘knowledge is power?’’ he says softly, hiking an eyebrow at her and for a split second, his expression is almost sensual. She flips him off with a shake of her head.
‘Stuff it, Walker. You’re mine,’ she says throatily and I bark a laugh.
You wish, Di!
We all group together and I introduce Carter to Ryan, Justin picking up his phone from the worktop. Diane and Regan have finally noticed the balloons, Regan’s tawny eyes misting with tears as she looks at the huge red words at the far side of the kitchen.
Diane, as usual, can’t help herself. ‘Fuck me, Justin! Have you got some sort of balloon fetish?’
He ruffles her hair. ‘No, Di. Just an Ellen fetish,’ he says quietly but that shuts her up and she looks at him fondly for a moment.
‘Right.’ Justin reaches over to pick up his new skis and Diane sn
orts again. ‘Shall we make a move? The transport was dropped off last night, lift passes are pre-booked – let’s blow!’ he says and everyone picks up belongings, making their way to the front door in a chatting excited group. Carter and I bring up the rear, Justin waiting by the alarm panel to set it and then he joins us on the steps outside, locking the door.
We turn to the new silver Mercedes mini-bus parked outside the garage. Carter’s Audi is on the other side and I can’t see Diane and Ryan’s car – it must be on the road. Bless Justin, we’ll be getting there in style, it’s the last word in luxury and as Carter slides into a seat for two at the back, I snuggle into him immediately. He wraps his left arm around me, pulling me into him and I loop my own around his waist.
I need to ask him what aftershave he wears, I’ve never smelled it before, and now it’s his scent, unique to him. I want to buy my own bottle – I don’t care how hideously expensive it is. The shirt that I stole has long since lost the smell of him and I want to be able to douse it in his aftershave every night before I put it on.
Everyone piles in, Justin in the driving seat and Ellen slides up next to him. We’re four couples, it’s just about perfect and although I’m gutted Holly isn’t here, she’d have felt a bit of a gooseberry with the rest of us paired off – I know that I would.
Justin sets the sat nav and pulls the Mercedes slowly down the driveway. As soon as we’re onto the dual carriageway, Diane’s at it again.
‘Let’s sing some songs! I’ll start!’ she says. ‘Ten green cock-ends, hanging on the wall…’
Ellen’s head swings round, she’s trying to keep a scowl on her lovely face but it’s hopeless. You just can’t help but love Diane and Ollie is already under her spell. He seems to find everything that she does hilarious, grinning at her antics, Regan rolling her eyes. They’re holding hands, their fingers tightly intertwined and I’m so pleased for her, this beautiful girl-woman. She leans her head on Ollie’s shoulder in front of me and I grin up at Carter.
He’s still got his arms around me and as his happy eyes meet mine, his mouth descends softly for a long, slow kiss. We keep a lid on it, both of us remembering where we are and that it wouldn’t be appropriate to start gasping and groping in front of everyone. The eight of us chat excitedly as the miles roll by.
‘There it is!’ Diane cries suddenly and I lean forward in my seat as she points.
Flaming hell!
I’ve been down this motorway before and I wonder how the hell I never saw this place. I must have been looking the other way or asleep. It towers into the sky, at an angle of about forty degrees, seeming to stretch hundreds of feet in the air. It’s an amazing piece of architecture and there’s silence for a beat as Justin takes the next exit, slowing the Mercedes around a series of bends, stopping at a set of red traffic lights. We’re nearly there, I can see the entrance from a few hundred yards away and within another five minutes, we’ve parked up and spilled out, Justin sliding his skis from the floor of the mini-bus, locking it and grinning at us all.
‘Okay, apart from me, obviously…’ his brow hikes a millimetre and I feel a short thrill, ‘… is there anyone else here today who has never skied before?’
I put my hand up immediately, dismay sinking like a stone when I realise I’m the only bloody one.
Shit. Marvellous.
I’m going to make a complete arse of myself and speaking of arses, I’m going to spend most of my time on mine, clearly. Justin sees the grimace on my face and Carter gives my hand a squeeze. He must be able to feel the change in my tissues, the discomfiture that everyone else in our group can do this apart from me.
It’s hardly your fault, is it? Children of the care system get squat – let alone taken on skiing holidays. Stop stressing.
‘Pearl, you’ll smash it,’ Justin says confidently. ‘Think about it – you ride and skiing is very similar.’
I smile when I realise that he’s right. Jumping a horse requires me to stay balanced, my knees bent, all my weight in my heels and I’ve got superb thigh muscles.
I give Justin a wide grin now, showing all my teeth comically and he laughs. We wander towards the entrance, book in and obtain our ski-passes and informed that we can utilise the Changing Village and ski-hire anytime we like.
Within the next twenty minutes, we’re all kitted out, and as I sit with the enormous ski boots, Carter drops to his knees in front of me. He gives me a half smile, raising his delicious dimple and I lean forward and kiss it. He puts his hands on my knees and leans forward, groaning softly into my neck as my lips break away from his face.
‘Stop it. I do not want to be trying to ski with a flaming hard-on,’ he grumbles, giving me a reproachful look and I beam at him. He slides my socked feet into the boots, fastening them and checking them for tightness before sitting back next to me and quickly putting his own on.
I can hear Diane howling at something across the room, and I clench again as I remember what’s coming. This is going to be absolute class and will go down in The Guardian’s folklore, without a doubt, especially when I splatter it all over social media this afternoon.
Carter stands, holding his hand out, his curls tumbling as he looks down at me. I take it and he pulls me to my feet and into his body, his lips at my ear.
‘We’ll watch Justin wipe the floor with Diane and then I’ll teach you, okay?’ he whispers and I turn to kiss his smooth cheek. He must be itching to get on the snow, but he’s going to spend his time teaching me how to stay on my feet. He doesn’t give a toss if that’s all he does today, he wants to be by my side, as close to me as he can. I can feel the hunger in his body for mine.
‘Thanks,’ I whisper back and as we join the rest of the group, now appropriately attired and booted, a man with short iron grey hair in his late forties steps out in front of us. He’s got a hard, rugged face which transforms when he smiles.
He quickly runs through a few things, the fire alarm, safety, a quiet area in which to practice and consideration of other skiers. He warns us that anyone not confident on the snow should steer clear of the main slope for the safety of themselves and others. It’s early, only just opened so we’re lucky. We’re nearly the first ones in here, judging by the state of the car park, and although I’m sure there are people already gliding effortlessly down the snow in there, it’s not as packed as it will be at lunchtime. It’s a Saturday too, so the place will be full of kids.
Telling us finally to enjoy our time at the Factore, he waves us over to two more large double doors and carrying our skis and poles, we head towards them. My feet are clumping in these boots, but despite their cumbersome appearance, they’re very light and I walk easily. Justin pushes open the doors and I gasp, the vicious drop in temperature taking my breath away.
We emerge into a cavernous glass building, stretching high, the whole wide area an expanse of perfect snow. The gradient isn’t as vicious as I’d expected or feared, there’s evidently no black run, near vertical drop like you see them do on the tele, but it’d be hairy enough from the top unless you know what you’re doing. There’s a smaller slope, and a practice area at the left. As I’d hoped and imagined too, there’s hardly anyone in here yet, a handful of people dotted about and I see a figure in a blood red suit hurtling down effortlessly from the top, a crimson streak as he shoots past us. There’s a line of lifts at the side, well, more like pulleys really, and I can see that you can reach the slope from any height, you don’t have to tackle it from the top. I breathe a small sigh of relief. That’s good. I don’t fancy going home via Manchester Royal Infirmary and leave with a leg in a cast.
Justin sits on a long bench and he gives Ellen a lovely secret smile as he starts to put on his skis. Diane’s giggling like a five year old as Justin acts like a complete clown, shaking his head as he pretends he has no clue how to attach his skis to his boots.
I bite my lip, snuggling next to Carter as we all gather at the bottom of the slope, near the viewing area. The snow widens as it flattens
to horizontal, a barrier at the bottom end of the huge pool and standing where we are, I have a perfect view. I squeeze Carter’s hand, fishing my iPhone out of my bag.
‘Here, baby,’ Ellen says, hiding her smile behind her hair as she plays along, helping Justin turn the ski around the right way and he gives her a grateful smile.
‘Ah! I see! Thanks, El – I can manage now.’ He swats her playfully on the bum as I wake up my phone, opening the camera and readying a video. I might even get the last part in slo-mo… I could go one step further and shove it on YouTube. I’ll see how good the footage is.
Diane’s skied up and she stands in front of Justin, a cocky smile on her lovely face. She hikes a brow.
‘Pussy slope’s over there, Jus – in case you want to practice before you hit this bad boy?’
‘Nah,’ Justin says easily. ‘Seriously, how hard can it be? Go on – I’ll be right behind you. Wait for me at the top.’
‘The top!’ she squawks. ‘I was going to start from half-way,’ she says, a thread of uncertainty in her flinty eyes now and Justin laughs.
‘Bottler! Thought you could ski? It looks a doddle, Di – look at that guy?’ he says, pointing to the man in the red salopettes, who’s just swept down again. ‘What’s the worst that happens, I fall on my arse?’
‘Alright Walker, you cock-end!’ She tosses her head imperiously. ‘Don’t blame me when you’re hobbling around The Guardian with a pot on your leg. Again,’ she fires and as she takes the lift, Justin pauses and he blinds us with his boyband smile. Jesus – he doesn’t look twenty five suddenly, he’s looks about eighteen and heart-stoppingly beautiful for a moment.
‘Wish me luck!’ he says, turning effortlessly on his skis and following Diane. The rest of us group over to the barrier, leaning on it with a perfect view of the slope and the landing area right in front of us. It looks hairy from here, now, steeper than I thought. I look over to the practice area and I wonder if I’m ever going to move away from that today.
‘You ready, Pearl?’ Ellen asks, grinning over at me and I nod, holding the phone in my outstretched hand. My thumb’s poised over the red record button and, as I see Diane reach the top of the slope, she shuffles slowly over the flat edge, waiting for Justin.
Dark Page 34