‘Both are significant to me, Carter. Maybe I could have an amalgamation of the two?’
His eyes clear with interest and he nods. ‘I’m sure Florence could do something. She’d paint it first and if you were happy with it, ink it in layers. Depending on the size, you might have about a dozen sittings. I’ll send you her number, she’s awesome, Pearl. You’ll love her.’
I nudge him, love flooding my system suddenly. He hasn’t pressed me on my choices, demanded an explanation, despite obviously wanting one. He evidently knows though that he isn’t really in a position to demand anything, given his reticence to reveal how he feels about me, but I’m not going to let that fester in my brain tonight. There’s other stuff that we need to talk about and I want to be looking into his eyes when we do.
Shifting my body out of the water, I cock a leg over Carter’s knees and he turns, so that he has more room and can stretch his legs a little. I settle onto his lap, his arousal sandwiched between the pair of us and he props his knees up slightly, allowing me to lean back comfortably. He’s close enough to touch and I can easily reach his lips. Good. He smiles up at me, bringing a wet hand out of the bath and gently stroking my face.
I take a deep breath. ‘So. Apple?’
He sighs. I don’t know why – he surely must have known this was coming? This man has spent every spare moment he has during the last week in my company, and he knows I’m tenacious. He leans his head back for a moment, his thoughts evidently swirling.
‘I meant what I said downstairs, Pearl. I’m not taking it,’ he says quietly and I just stare at him. He surely can’t arbitrarily throw away an offer like that? Can he? I shake my head.
‘Carter… it’s an opportunity of a lifetime, you can’t just dismi…’
His mouth cuts off my words as he leans forward, his eyes closing as he kisses me slowly. He doesn’t want to hear my words and my breathing has shallowed when he eventually releases me.
‘There’s only one way that I’ll accept the offer, Pearl, and that’s if you’ll come with me,’ he breathes but my own has gone as I process his words. He wants me to move to the United States for at least three years?
I almost laugh. What the hell would I do over there whilst Carter was working every day? Wander vacuously around some beautiful apartment, shop for clothes that I don’t need? I’d know no one, wouldn’t have a single friend apart from Carter and he’d be out all day. I’d die with boredom and loneliness, even with Carter in my life.
And what of Justin, Ellen, Dan, The Guardian, my friends, Nelson…? No. Not a chance and I shake my head. Carter’s eyes are still searching mine and I suddenly feel an unexpected thread of dark anger as he waits for me to speak. He’s got a nerve really – he’s just asked me to turn my back on my whole life here, everything and everyone I love and follow him blindly halfway across the world, when he hasn’t told me how he feels about me? Is he mad?
I should shoot him down in flames, but we’re sitting plastered together, naked in the bath and he’s gazing up at me so adoringly, I can’t do it. He deserves it, it might spur some reaction out of him, but it’s just as likely that we’ll end up arguing and I don’t want to argue with Carter Jackson. It’s the last thing I want to do and I kiss him myself now, my tongue stroking gently, as if to prepare him for my disappointing words.
‘Carter, I can’t,’ I say softly. ‘I can’t walk away from my life here, and everyone in it. There would be nothing in the States for me apart from you and we’d be apart every day. Please try and understand.’
‘I do, baby,’ he murmurs, putting his arms around me and pulling me tightly into his damp body. The humidity of the room and the hot bath has turned his hair into dark corkscrews, which are so sexy, I twitch gently on his lap when I push my fingers gently through them. He tips his head back, his eyes closing slowly at the feel of me.
‘That’s why I’m not going,’ he continues, with a small smile now. ‘As I said to Justin and Ellen, I can command a salary nearly as good over here. I’m going to start putting out some feelers in the next couple of weeks, see what might be on offer.’
His hands glide to my breasts now, hidden under the scented foam and he kneads them gently.
‘Accepting the offer was my bolt-hole from my family, to get as far away as possible,’ he says, looking deeply into my eyes and my heart skips for a beat. I get the strange sensation that he’s losing control of the gag that he has on certain things in his head, I can just sense it and t I say nothing, waiting.
‘That all changed when I met you,’ he whispers now, his lips reaching for mine and I don’t resist. His life changed when he met me, his plans for the future have gone out of the window. If what he feels for me isn’t love, it’s powerful enough to shackle him here and that’s good enough for now.
‘Why didn’t you tell me about it earlier?’
He shrugs. ‘It didn’t seem important, seeing as I’m not accepting it,’ he says simply and I smile.
‘Do Philip or Toria know about the offer?’ I ask and he shakes his head.
‘No. The only other person who knows is Rupert,’ he says, the mention of his friend’s name bringing a wide smile to my face and Carter tips his head to one side, looking up at me curiously.
‘What?’
‘Looks like our little matchmaking plan worked,’ I tell him and his face breaks out into his knee weakening smile.
‘Really? Awesome!’ he says, genuinely delighted and I remember Donna.
‘Er, this is going to sound a bit weird, but I don’t suppose you’ve another random friend for Donna, do you?’ I say hopefully, giving him a squinty wince and he laughs.
‘Wish I had, Pearl, to be honest, but Jase bats for the other team.’
My eyebrows rise. That’s a surprise, Jase didn’t strike me as a gay man, but I’m being ridiculous. Just because he wasn’t mincing around talking in a falsetto means sod all. Carter drains the last of his water.
‘As sad as it sounds, apart from Rupert, I don’t have a lot of friends. I’ve been too focussed on work to spare the time to develop anything meaningful.’
I stroke his face now, my finger lightly tracing the cupid’s bow of his full lips and he kisses it.
‘Although, he continues, as I trail my finger down his chin. ‘I did notice Donna exchanging looks with Noah a couple of times on Saturday night.’
My mouth falls open. ‘Are you serious?’ I say shrilly. Flaming hell, that’s the last thing I need, Donna hooking up with Toria’s flaming brother. I’ll never get away from the witch. Carter shakes his head.
‘I might be wrong, but their stares were definitely locked at one point,’ he says and my shoulders slump.
‘Great,’ I say dolefully and Carter laughs.
‘I wouldn’t worry. Noah doesn’t live in Liverpool, he’s got a job in London. No-one knows what he does, he’s a secretive bastard,’ he says and I settle into his lap.
‘You and he didn’t seem close.’
‘We’re not,’ Carter replies. ‘Different interests, and he’s a few years older than me, so we didn’t spend a lot of time together as kids.’ He shrugs. ‘We’re indifferent more than anything, or at least we were until Toria started behaving like a nutter.’
‘If he lives in London, what was he doing here?’
Carter shakes his head. ‘Not a clue, but if Toria phoned him, bleating about her broken heart and calling me all the bastards under the sun, he’d have driven up to support her. He’s always had a soft spot for her, although they don’t spend a lot of time together anymore. Hardly anyone in the family sees him, even Jimmy.’
‘Carter, what else did Philip say this morning?’
‘Just what you heard, baby. He’s fuming, but he always is. Jimmy has already told him that Toria won’t push for a prosecution – he’s obviously talked some sense into her, but I’ve been summoned to Dorset at the weekend. They’ll want to put the thumbscrews on.’
‘For you to finish with me?’ I ask and he nod
s, his face creasing with irritation.
‘They’re wasting their fucking time, in fact, I’m not going,’ he says roughly. ‘If Philip pushes me on this, then I’ve got something in mind to take away his blackmailing power,’ he says and I feel a tug of hope inside me.
‘You have?’
He nods. ‘Yeah. I’m considering applying for a loan, based on my predicted grades and subsequent earning potential. It would need to be considerable, but I don’t think it’s beyond the realms of possibility, even though I don’t actually have a job yet.’
‘You could ask Dan?’ I blurt but Carter looks horrified.
‘No way! I don’t know the man,’ he says reasonably but I push the point.
‘So? He wouldn’t give a shit, he’s got money he doesn’t know what to do with,’ I urge but I see Carter’s jaw tighten and strength flood his eyes. He’s not budging on this.
‘Not an option, but thanks for the suggestion,’ he says kindly. ‘It’s not a conversation I would feel comfortable having, Pearl.’ I nod. I understand, he’s a proud man and if he needs a loan, he’ll get one through the proper channels. He gives me a wide smile now.
‘I’ve got some stalling and bullshit tactics lined up,’ he says. ‘If I can stretch his grudging generosity out for another month, and I cram like fucking hell, I think I can sit my finals the week after.’
Wow. I need to support him in this final push and it’s going to mean leaving the poor bloke alone at times in which to study. Cramming means one thing, hours and hours with his head in a laptop, evidently, but I need to be behind him all the way. I give him my own grin now.
‘What can I do to help?’ I ask eagerly and he throws his head back and laughs. He looks so young for a moment, his tumbled hair dark and damp, the dimple in his cheek and I burrow eagerly under his chin, kissing his warm skin. He tastes salty, and my tongue eagerly laps up his sweat, my teeth nipping his earlobe.
‘You do enough,’ he groans, when I blow a stream of warm air into his ear.
‘No, I don’t’, I mumble, kissing his neck again and he drags my face out of it for a moment, holding it between his damp hand and rests his forehead against mine.
‘You do everything,’ he says huskily before giving me a half smile, his pupils widening. ‘But, if you want to do something, right now, you can start by sitting that beautiful body on my aching cock.’
I gasp at his words, then laugh – really laugh. He joins in and we’re holding each other and giggling like kids again before I push my knees against the floor of the tub, raising my body up and over his waiting arousal.
‘It would be my pleasure, Carter,’ I groan as I drop slowly down onto him, taking every glorious inch.
Thirty Seven
I pull my Mini up to a set of red lights on Monday morning, taking it out of gear and leaning back with a sigh.
I haven’t had much sleep and I smile to myself as I shift on the leather seat, trying not to wriggle at the soreness between my thighs. Carter really did do what he’d promised las night. I got it hard, slow, frantic, and so tender that I had to bite my tongue as my last orgasm engulfed me, the words I love you howling at the door to be let out.
I fell asleep wound around him like a vine, listening to his heart beating steadily under my ear. When I woke this morning, I spent about twenty minutes just gazing at his beautiful sleeping face in the early morning light flooding through my attic windows. He’d gone to sleep with damp hair and it was a tangle of wild curls around his head. His long burnished eyelashes fanned his sharp cheekbones, his sculpted lips parted as he breathed slowly and my heart clenched at the sight of him. He looked like he belonged on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel somewhere, wearing a pair of wings. A stunning dark angel.
The lights change and I put the Mini into gear, turning right onto the dual carriageway and powering towards The Guardian. Justin’s already there. He landed home at three this morning, grabbed two hours sleep and then he was back there.
The young lad who fell through our doors is in a bad way, beaten to a pulp, half his teeth missing. The Doctor had been called and he’s coming back this morning. Sickness stirs at the cruelty of people towards one another, but when it’s a vulnerable teen, it makes it almost intolerable. I know Justin’ll reach him, turn his life around. He does it effortlessly, as if the man had been born to do this work.
As I approach the roads that will take me to The Guardian, I marvel again at its name. The Guardian Angel, there to protect the vulnerable. I recall telling Sophia that Justin was The Guardian, and how true that really is.
As I slow the Mini, tattoos float through my mind again. I’m really sold on the amalgamation of a phoenix and an angel. Maybe an angel with a beautiful phoenix’s technicoloured tail and wings? Definitely something there and I grin as I indicate and pull the car into the circular car park, sliding it into the space next to the AMG. I cut the engine and pop my belt, leaning back and closing my eyes.
Carter leaving this morning was torturous and I know he was feeling it too. It took him nearly ten minutes after getting on his Aprilia for him to be able to start the thing and ride off on it. He actually had the helmet half on his head at one stage, but he ended up wrenching it off and pulling me into his body again. It’s nuts, wonderfully nuts.
I pull my phone from my bag. I need to get my arse into the office and do some work. I’m due to go and see Sophia again this afternoon, see if I can prise anything further of use out of her. Without something, anything for Dillon to go on, we can’t even begin to pick the top off this. A tiny cluster of cells in my brain wish fervently that I find out nothing. Without a morsel of information, this will stagnate and we’ll never come close to getting to the bottom of it. We’d swerve another shit storm but sadly, I feel as though one is definitely coming.
Intuition’s nibbling at my mind. I know that Sophia’s holding out on me. I can just sense it, there’s something in her eyes. I need to break down those barriers, make her believe that she’s safe, and she is. She’s evidently so petrified of being dragged back into the hell that she escaped from that she daren’t let it out. She’s going to have to. If she’s suffering, then so are others, and if I have to, I’ll use this as my trump card. She seems like a nice woman, and it might just do the trick.
I open my texts. Carter has a paper to work on this morning, he tells me and then two lectures this afternoon. One isn’t essential, but if he’s going to the other, it’s a no brainer and he’ll gain something from it, he told me. I hesitate before sending him a text. I’ve got work to do and so does he, and if I start to inflame us both with seductive words, especially after some of the sex we had last night, neither of us are going to get anything done today and I need to focus.
So keep it light! He’s going to think you want him just for his amazing body!
I grin. Hey. Just about to start work, but wanted to tell you… what? I falter, my finger over the keypad. I chew my lip, choosing the words carefully. Nothing inflammatory. …that I hope you have a good day. I miss you already, can’t wait to see you tonight.X
Yeah. That’ll do nicely and, pleased with my self-restraint I poke send, my phone whooping to tell me that the message has been delivered. I peer at the screen, delighted when I see the word Delivered change to Read and soon, a reply is coming. I glance at the clock on the dash. I’ve got five minutes, it’s not like I work set hours anyway, I come and go pretty much as I please, but Justin’s been very generous with time off recently. Suddenly Carter’s reply is there and when I read it, the breath is gone from my lungs.
What the fuck?
I’m having a great day. All that’s in my head is last night. Your beautiful naked body, flushed and writhing underneath me as I stroked my cock into you slowly. The look in your eyes as you came, the way you made me feel when I did… Hell yeah, I can’t wait to see you tonight, either…
I screw my eyes shut. Jesus Christ… what the hell am I supposed to say to that? My heart’s hammering – I’m powerless
to stop it. All his words have done is put the images from last night into my mind and I groan, tipping my head back, my eyes sliding shut as I let them overtake me.
Grinding my teeth finally, I glare at my phone. My index finger is shaking lightly as I poke it at the keyboard. I didn’t expect that, I thought he’d be knee deep in bloody algorithms or whatever other gobbledegook he studies, not this… this… full on sexual assault by text. The shit!
Carter! Boiling angry face emoji. Will you pack it in? I’m just about to go into work and I’m not capable of actually getting out of the car, now…
I poke send and within a few seconds, his rely is in front of my anguished eyes.
If you’re expecting an apology, I’m going to have to disappoint you. I can’t help it. You’ve infected me with your beautiful poison and I’m paralysed by it.
Holy crap. I grin at the screen. Who needs the three little words, after that?
You do. Do not become blinded by this flowery shit. There’s a reason he’s still not saying it and you can’t lose sight of that.
My fingers tap. You say the sweetest things. If it’s any consolation, you do the same to me.
Steady?
Yeah, I know. Too much. But I do feel the same way and it’s not like I’ve blurted out that I love him in response. I’ve merely told him that our feelings for each other are mutual. Whatever they are.
I’ll see you tonight, he sends now. Meet you at yours at six?
Can’t wait. Emoji blowing a kiss and I lock my phone, finally finding the strength to shove it into my bag. If I keep looking at it, I’ll keep replying and I have to start my working day. As I reach for the door release however, my head swivels to my left as an Ambulance comes into the car park, blues on, sirens wailing. My stomach turns.
Oh God… what’s happened?
I scramble out of the car, locking and alarming it and hurrying over to the green glass doors. I meet the Paramedics there, two of them and they give me a smile as they pass me. I want to ask them why they’re here, but they’ve evidently got someone in a bad way and don’t have time to answer any of my questions.
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