by Kris Buendía
“Who said food?” Gracie and Jimi come with more beer and final y Pizza! The one that I devour with much desire and I give a little to Mona, who wil not mind breaking the diet today, with something has to lower the drunkenness.
I love the boys, but no matter how hard they try to make me feel good this day, I can only think of myself, my dreams, my martyrdom and of course, my father.
“I think that today I will have sex with Gracie.”
Jimi whispers me in the air, after giving a bite to his slide of pizza, I snatched it from his hands. It is not the first time he wants to have sex with Gracie.
“Gracie, wil you have sex with Jimi today?” I ask aloud and my friend opens his eyes wide.
“Jimi!” Scry Gracie—Who do you think you are!?”
Jimi glares at me.
“You said you broke up with that transvestite boyfriend of yours” I almost spit my beer.
“Have you broken up with Ken?” We ask Mona and me in unison.
She starts crying, we rol our eyes because it is typical of Ken. Although this time it seems to be quite serious.
“I caught him cheating on me, in fact, Jimi saw it first.”
Wait, and how is that miraculously Jimi saw it first? Mona must be reading my mind just like Gracie.
“We mer the other day and we has a coffee”
Jimi starts to say quickly as if it did not matter.
“It is weird, Ken cheating on you, I thought he was a good boy, and I did not know that Jimi drinks coffee, because you hate it, is not it?”
“Fuck, okay. We had a date” Gracie has stopped crying. “But as friends, I wanted to make Ken jealous, but the shot went the other way. He was in the same restaurant with another girl.”
“He kissed her as if they were going to have sex right there” Add my friend a bit resentful.
The important thing is not Ken, he is an idiot and Gracie does not deserve that, but taking your shit with one of your best friends is even worse, I do not want to imagine if they get tangled together.
“I am sorry, Gracie” Says Mona.
“I am sorry too, you deserve better. But you have to think with your head. You can not just go for the jump with one of your best friends. Guys, we have been best friends forever. Sex of revenge?
You can not have sex with your friends!”
“In a group no” interrupts Gracie.
“You can not have sex with your friends!” Mona and I scream. “You are going to regret it or worse, there wil be tension, or what if one fal s in love?”
“What if both?” Now Mona throws herself against the table and Gracie and Jimi looked scared.
“Guys, will not get into your sex life, you can put it where you want, but think it over. Gracie, you do not deserve to be hurt again and Jimi can not take advantage of that” I point at him.
“Auch!” Pretend pain.
“I am being serious, I love you too much for you to ruin it in one night. But if that happens, I wil cut your bal s and suture your vagina so you can only pee.” Now I point to my girl friend.
It is too much for one night. I just talked as my mother would have done in my case. It would have given her a heart attack to hear me talk like that.
But beers and guts beat me.
The night went like that, trying to convince Gracie not to sleep with our friend. And while we were doing that, Jimi convinced her why she should do it.
Definitively that is not the story of my life.
2
I had a great time on my birthday. Although I did not expect anything from the many surprises, deep down I knew I did not need it. Dedicate a day for me, my friends and family.
“You do not know who happy it made me to see you go out for a night.” Mona enters the Graysson Publicity women's dresser. Make sure there is no one else but me, and I am cleaning the floors here this morning.
“It is thanks to you of course, but please do not make me more surprises like that dress, I have kept it very deep in my closet.”
“Not that you had one so big” she teases.
In that moment enter the two most despicable women not only of the company, but also of the planet.
Nail and Grime.
“Mona” Nail, I mean Paris begins to speak. “I have left on your desk the new campaign for you to study.”
“I wil take care of it, Paris.” She says without looking her in the eyes and Mona retouches her makeup, I keep cleaning as if I was not here, but unlike some employees who are kind to me and my best friend, everyone ignores me, except my two stepsisters.
Mona looks at me for a second from the mirror and winks at me, which I understand as goodbye and leaves. As soon as the door closes, my mop cart is overturned and al the dirty water is scattered in my converse and al over the floor.
“Clean that, bastard and do not make me fire you.”
“How could you fire me? You are not the owner.”
I curse to myself when I listen to myself speak to her in that tone. The right fist of her hand is going to hit my stomach and I curl up on the floor. I do not mind getting dirty with the water that is lying in al over the floor, I feel like I am dying of pain because of her blow.
“Don't forget you are here thanks to me, Cinder.” She mumbles and then look her in the mirror, fix her dyed hair and smooth her skirt. The sound of her heels is heard less and less when the door closes. Pippa, grime, just looks at me with pity and goes behind her. If the two hit, I could not stand it.
It is not the first time she attacked me. And it always happens when I respond. Paris learned Karate when she was teenager, unlike grime, Pippa that summer preferred cel o classes. Paris is sadistic and does not mind hurting you, not only physical but psychological too, and fucking your existence for life. You wil want to be dead if you fal into her clutches, in her blackmail and humiliation.
I know… I know why I know…
ELEVEN YEARS AGO
Paris and Pippa want to go to a party. My father does not let us go to parties unless the parties are at home and finish no later than midnight.
I think that Paris is in love or something, there is a guy with whim she spends talking on her cel phone and that many times I had to cover up.
Mobiles are also prohibited until we at seventeen and was an emergency.
“You better believe me, Cinder, because if not, I wil hit you” Paris threatened. “Karate will soon be over and I am one of the best.”
I could imagine it. Poor guy. She had seen him with a broken lip the last time they pretended to do homework. One of some. The one in this party was another.
One special.
Nobody does homework during summer vacations. Besides, I had already done them to both. In order to leave me alone.
Big mistake, that would not happen.
“What happens if dad says no?”
“I wil hit you so hard that you better convince him.”
I looked at Pippa. She was not as bad as her sister. But she did not do anything about it either and when it came to tel ing the truth, she clung to the truth or rather lie of Paris, so it was the same.
She was more evil for not saying or doing anything about the injustices of Paris.
“I wil try.”
At that moment Paris took me by the hair and dragged me to the ground with al her strength, I could not move, I could not even scream. I do not know why I could not even scream. The last time that I defended myself suspiciously, Paris complained so much about the pain that she spent three days in a hospital.
She said that I wanted to break her skul .
Dad threatened to send me to a boarding school. And I could not let it happened. I missed my mother and saw her every weekend possible, I bagged her to take me with her, but soon I would go to university and we needed the money that our father gave us. I needed to go to university, get my mother forward and have a voice of my own to send them al to hel , starting with Esther.
Half hour later we were in Paris’s car. She was the only one
who had one. Pippa and I were not al owed to drive because we were underage, even if Paris was only sixteen and we were fifteen.
It was the law.
“This party you say, where is it?” Pippa asked.
“You are stupid, I told you a thousand times.”
Paris answered, stil looking the road. “It is in Thomas’s house.”
Thomas, the hottest guy in school, one of many. But Thomas was the favourite and also whimsy of Paris. The boy seemed to suffer from some chronic pain every time he was with her. And the most dangerous thing of al and to have always in mind, me, I secretly liked Thomas.
He was untouchable, you could not look at him, neither talk to him. It was forbidden or Paris would take your eyes out. But Thomas was not a guy like the others, even though he was popular, handsome and rich. He was a gentleman and often defended me from the clutches of Paris.
“We have arrived.”
I did not want to get out of the car. The clothes she was wearing were ridiculous and not worth a party. At least my hair always helped me once it released it.
“Don't even think of letting go off your hair.”
Paris ordered me. I saw Pippa out of the corner of my eye and felt a little compassion, thought not enough to put her sister in her place.
We were the three of us, but as usual, Paris did not like to be seen with us. We were losers according to her. I was the sister picked up from the street and Pippa her less grateful sister.
Pippa had big eyes, almost as much as the Gol um of the Lord of the rings. She was quite thin, thinner that me, or her eyes stood out even more.
Her hair was so ful of curls that it looked like a bush or nest of birds. It seemed beautiful to me, but Paris made her see that the beauty of a woman was in her straight blonde hair.
I had it like that, but I hid it in a bun or a hat, even though it was hot, sometimes I had to put it on and cover it.
“I am very cold.” Pippa complained. The music was heard al over the place, but we were stil stepping on the grass in front of the house, many times I stayed there, where the parties were, I never went in and I was out of sight.
“Take it” I gave her my jacket. The poor girl was trembling from the cold. I did not mind staying with my shirt only. She needed it more than I did, besides, my clothes were ridiculous with my big jacket. I liked to wear jeans, it does not matter the colour, a shirt and my sports shoes. If I wore a jacket, I combined it and I have to admit that I looked pretty, or at least I saw it in the eyes of the boys who looked at me through the corridors of the school.
“Thanks” she said without further ado. I sat on the lawn and she did the same.
“You do not have to stay here, Pippa.”
“I do not… wel , I” she always stuttered. “I do not want to be there, there is the boy that I like but he never…he never notices me.”
That surprised me. Pippa was not ugly, she was different and in addition to being sil y, she could do something of her own to avoid being in the shadows of Paris. I bet everything that if I guessed the boy who liked Pippa, Paris had already slept with him. It was typical. Luckily, the boy I liked, no matter how close I knew him, he was more than taken. I just had to forget about it and that's it.
“You should try to talk to him.”
“Paris would not leave me, in her night.”
“Fuck Paris.” She opened her eyes wide. “I mean it, you are the only one who can put Paris in her place and you don't do it. I am not her sister, you are, your mother appreciates you, I mean, What mother does not want her kids? She wil believe you if you tel her that Paris is cruel to you.”
“And with you” she concluded.
“It do not care if she is with me. When I go to col ege I wil be far away from her, she wil not be able to hurt me. I hope you wil do the same.”
The truth was that Esther was also cruel to her.
But even though Pippa was here with her with her tail tucked between her legs, I did not trust her, no since she was an accomplice of Paris on many occasions and that I always got hurt. I felt sorry for the girl and hated myself for it. At least Pippa did not hit me, but she did not defended me either, she was like a smal pimple in the ass next to the biggest one.
“I wil go for a walk” I got up from the grass.
Our conversation would not come to anything.
Pippa tried to fol ow me but I told her to talk to the boy she liked in Paris hiding. I wanted to get rid of her too and stop being the nanny.
I got inside the crowd and saw in the back of the house, a terrace. It was empty. I liked the heights and surely from there the music would not be heard nor would the smel of alcohol or cigarettes be felt. Nobody looked at me when I climbed the smal iron stairs.
When I went up I liked being there since I set foot. The view was beautiful. There was a hil on the other side where there were no mansions. It was silent, and cold. The terrace was empty, but clearly I was looking at the big footsteps al over the floor. And also some cushions in the distance, as wel as a smal table with books on top.
I saw what they were al about and they were al from Steven King, none of them got my attention and I put them in their place.
I was there for about ten minutes when a voice spoke to me.
“It is my favourite place in the whole world” I jumped to the point of almost screaming. “Shit, Cinder! I'm sorry, I did not want to scare you.”
It was Thomas.
“Thomas, what are you doing here?”
“It is my house” he said smiling me and showing me some perfect and white teeth.
It was certainly his house, but I did not know what he was doing there and without Paris.
“Where is Paris?” I asked with fear, remembering the three rules of not talking, touching and looking. I was doing two of them.
“You always ask me that when I want to talk to you. Are you too got obsessed with it?”
“I… emmm…”
“I like when you do that” he was getting closer and closer.
“What thing?”
“Getting nervous when I talk to you.”
“I am not nervous” I declined. “It wil be better that you go back to your party.”
“It is boring and now I do not regret have organised it, any excuse is valid so you can come, and if that includes Paris, I accept it. I knew I would see you tonight. You look beautiful.
“That is not true” she declined again. I rejected every compliment, always.
“It does not matter what you wear, I know why it is. But stil you wear a clown wig, you would not be able to hide your beauty, Cinder. It is something Paris can not deal with.”
My heart skipped a beat every time he spoke to me like that. Thomas was so sweet that it hurt, it hurt a lot because I knew I could not have him, even as a friend.
“Why are you talking about her like that? It is your girlfriend, you should not talk to me, you wil get in trouble.”
He wrinkled his forehead, which made those marks make him look hot. It is not as if he was not.
His hair was brown, his skin as white as mine and his smile was beautiful as wel as his light brown eyes. He had a toned body for the sport he practised and also smelt delicious. I could feel him every time he came closer. I would never forget that perfume.
“Paris is not my girlfriend, never has been and never wil be.”
I did not realise it, but he was in front of me.
We were face to face. And nobody around us. I had never dreamed of this and never realised that I was very happy. I was final y talking to him.
“Your house is beautiful” I did not know what else to say.
“Thanks but it is not mine, is… forget it. It is not mine.”
“Why is not yours?”
“I do not know, I wil settle for this terrace. I built it myself.” He saw the amazement in my face.
“I mean design and I helped in some things, my father hired some people.”
I rol ed my eyes and laughed. It was as i
f he had done it but not with his own hands.
“It is beautiful” I saw far away, the dark mountain and the fireflies al over the place.
“Yes, beautiful” I realised that he was not looking at what I was looking at, he was looking at me.
I was beautiful for him.
I felt it was forbidden to be there, so much that I felt dizzy for a moment. As if it were a curfew or something like that, I wanted to run.
“Cinder, there is something I wanted to tel you al this time.”
“Thomas, no” I stopped him. “Whatever it is, you should wait, please. You do not know that…”
“How cruel can Paris be?”
How did he know?
“She just made a girl cry at the party, it was so disgusting that I hid from her and came looking for you. I can never talk to you, never I can never tel you what I feel.”
“I always see you with her, talking to her.”
That sounded like a claim and I did not want it that way.
He could do whatever he wanted. Paris was beautiful, a blond with clear eyes, a heart attack due to serious eating disorders, but it was what every guy wanted. A perfect girl from head to toe.
“And you are always there” he said it so seriously that I believed him. “It is she who interposes when I want to talk to you, when I want to see you at home, I do not know what is happening in Paris’s head, she has created a kind of twisted relation when the whole team has slept with her. She thinks I do not know, sometimes I think she knows how I feel about you and that is why she gets in the way.”
“That is stupid. How is that…”
I did not know what to say. Did he feel something for me?
His hands reached mine, it was held so strongly in the bar.
“You are shaking” he took off his sports jacket and gave it to me. I smel ed him and it was comfortable. Somehow, I felt safe and happy.
“Thomas” I got my eyes watery, I felt the burning of them right away. “Whatever you have to tel me, wait. My life is a chaos now and now that I know that between you and Paris there is nothing that makes it more dangerous. I only ask you to wait for me.”
We would finish school in a few months and go to university. Surely Thomas would go to some outside the country. What did I know? The important was that at least we would be friends.