by S. L. Adams
Alex
I lean on my rented golf bag, watching Lester take his eighth shot. Unfortunately, this guy is a golf virgin. It’s taken hours to get to the eighteenth hole. I glance at the group behind us. They look seriously annoyed. I can relate. It’s hot as fuck out here and I just want to get back to the beach house and Shelby.
She’s freaked out. I’m not stupid. She’s been distant since our talk on the beach yesterday. I have a sinking feeling she’s going to end things before we head home. When I told her I wanted more, she didn’t look happy. Not exactly the reaction I was hoping for.
Lester finally sinks his last ball and we take the cart back to the clubhouse.
“We should have a couple of beers before we head back,” Bart suggests after we turn in our clubs.
“Yeah,” Lester agrees, patting Blake on the back. “You need a bachelor party, buddy. I don’t drink, so I will be the dd and you guys can indulge in some liquid refreshments.”
We walk over to the clubhouse bar, where I buy the first round of drinks. “To Blake,” I say raising my glass of beer.
“Congratulations, brother,” Bart says with a snort. “Here’s to spending the rest of your life with the same woman.”
“Gee thanks, Bart.” Blake shakes his head before taking a swig of beer.
“There’s nothing wrong with monogamy, Bart,” Lester says. “When you find the right woman, you lose your desire for anyone else. Trust me, buddy.”
Bart scoffs and shakes his head. “Not me. I’m never getting married. No thanks.”
I sit my glass on the bar, swallowing a large gulp of beer. “Lester is right. There's nothing better than finding the woman you wanna spend the rest of your life with.”
“Is Shelby that woman?” Blake asks.
“She is. But I don’t think she feels the same way.”
“Oh man,” Bart groans. “We need another round or I’m gonna get depressed listening to you guys.”
Several rounds later and Blake, Bart and I are loaded. At some point, we switched from beer to bourbon.
“I can’t believe I’m getting married. Seventy two hours from now, and I’ll be a married man,” Blake slurs. “I’ll be somebody’s husband. Fuck.”
“It’s not too late until you say I do, bro,” Bart yells, slapping his brother on the back.
“If I was marrying Shelby, I wouldn’t have any second thoughts,” I hear myself say. I’m drunk and I’m just saying whatever pops into my head. And she’s the only thing on my mind. “Fuck, I love her.”
“Then you need to tell her, man,” Blake says in a strange, high-pitched voice. “Don’t let her get away again.”
“You’re right, buddy. You’re so fucking right! I need to go tell her. Right now!” I climb off my bar stool and stumble right into Lester.
“Whoa, big guy. I think you need some coffee before you start professing your love.”
My legs feel wobbly and Lester’s glasses look really big. “Did you get new glasses, Les?”
“Nope. Same ones, Alex. I think you should sit before you fall.”
I swing my gaze over to Blake. Some guy is chatting it up with him. Even through my drunken haze, I can see that the guy is clearly gay. Doesn’t Blake realize that?
I march over to them with Lester on my tail. Blake getting hit on by a guy is just too hilarious to let it pass by without maxing out his embarrassment. “Hey, honey,” I say, wrapping my arm around his shoulder.
Blake lifts my arm off his shoulder. “What are you doing, Alex?”
“I missed you, baby,” I say in a sweet voice.
“Listen, buddy,” the guy says, standing up. He’s shorter than me and skinny. No muscle whatsoever. Normally, I’m not into confrontations and bar fights, but I’m not thinking straight tonight.
“Um, Alex,” Lester says, grabbing my arm. “Maybe it’s time for us to get going.”
“The guy clearly isn’t interested in you,” Skinny Man says, gritting his teeth. “Why don’t you move along?”
“Holy shit,” Blake says, finally cluing in.
“I think you need to move along,” I say, getting in his face. Lester pleads with me to walk away but I ignore him. Probably should have listened. The guy takes a swing at me. I duck and Bart takes the fist right in the eye. Bart recovers quickly punches the guy back, sending him flying over a table. Two dudes approach from the other side of the bar.
“Oh shit,” Blake groans.
Gay guy has friends. And they don’t look happy. Or as scrawny as their friend. Blake and I hurry over to help Bart. One of the guys throws a punch, sending Bart flying. Blake gets in a punch in before Bart jumps back into the brawl. I take a swing, sending one of them crashing over a table. A fist slams into the side of my face and I stumble backwards.
The next few minutes are a blur. Someone drags me out of the bar and deposits me in the parking lot. Then Lester is there. His nasally voice penetrates my drunken haze, ordering us to get in the van. I’m vaguely aware that Bart is sitting next to me, holding his head back to stop the flow of blood from his nose. I crawl into the back and sprawl out across the seat before I pass out.
I’m sitting on a blanket by a creek. A warm summer breeze touches my face. Shelby is sitting between my legs, leaning back against my chest. I lift her left hand to kiss her knuckles as the sun reflects off her diamond ring. The one I gave her. A gold wedding band sits next to it on her finger. My other hand snakes around her pregnant belly, alive with the little movements of our baby.
“Alex!”
I open my eyes at the sound of her beautiful voice. She’s leaning over me, her gorgeous breasts right in my face. But we aren’t at the creek and she’s not carrying my baby or wearing my ring.
“C’mon,” she says pulling on my arm. “Let’s get you inside.”
I lean on her as she leads me through the garage and into the beach house.
“What happened?” she gasps rubbing my cheek. “Did you guys get in a fight or something?”
“Oh yeah!” Bart yells. “It was epic. We were kicking ass until a couple big security guards threw us out.”
“You got in a fight at the golf course clubhouse?!” Gretchen glares at us. I swear I can see smoke billowing out her ears. “Blake Remington! You better not have any marks on your face or the wedding is off!”
“Relax, Gretchen,” I say. “He mostly just watched while we defended his honour.”
Bart’s loud laughter echoes off the high ceiling.
“Then why are his knuckles bleeding?!” she shrieks.
“My face is fine,” Blake says. “That’s all that matters, honey.”
“Some guy thought Blake was gay and tried to hit on him,” Lester says shaking his head. “Alex thought it would be a good idea to pretend he was Blake’s boyfriend.”
“Look at you guys,” Gretchen fumes. “You can’t be in my wedding pictures looking like that.”
Blake’s chases after her as she storms up the stairs. “Honey, it’s ok. It’s not a big deal.”
“He’s so whipped,” Bart snorts.
My head is spinning. “I need to go to bed,” I mumble as I stagger toward the stairs.
Shelby follows me and helps me up the stairs. When we reach our bedroom, I stumble into the bathroom to take a piss. She stands in the doorway with her arms folded. “You missed the toilet.”
“Sorry, baby doll. I’ll clean it up in the morning.” I stagger to the bed and flop down on my back. The room is spinning and the ceiling fan isn’t helping. I close my eyes as Shelby removes my shoes. Then she’s pulling down my shorts. Holy, I wish I wasn’t drunk. I reach up and pull her down on top of me.
“I don’t think so,” she says rolling off me.
“I love you, Shelby.” Fuck. Who said that? Was it me? I can’t stop the words from flowing out of my mouth. “I wanna marry you and make babies with you.”
The last thing I remember is her long sigh before I slip into a deep sleep.
Chapter 29
“You look pretty, baby doll.” Alex says, sliding his arm around my shoulders.
“Thanks. You look good in a Hawaiian shirt. It suits you.” I rub his bare chest where he has the two top buttons undone.
“No hanky panky under the table tonight,” Gretchen warns, waggling her finger as we pile into limo that Blake hired for the night. “That’s not appropriate at a luau.”
“I’m pretty sure it’s not appropriate in any public place,” Lester snorts, pushing up his glasses.
“I have to disagree, Les,” Claire says. “Sexual encounters in public places are very hot.”
“We’ll be on our best behaviour,” Alex says, rubbing my thigh. “I’m really looking forward to this. You can’t go to Hawaii and not go to a luau.”
As soon as we arrive at the luau, we’re greeted with leis and Mai Tai cocktails. We wander through a little village with arts and crafts on display. The guys try some traditional Hawaiian games including spear throwing and dart sliding. After enjoying a shower of flowers on the beach, we’re seated at a long wooden table.
“Another round of Mai Tais for the bride and groom and their party.” The waitress moves around the table, handing out drinks as her grass skirt sways in the breeze.
“I’m stuffed,” I laugh, leaning back and rubbing my stomach. The buffet was absolutely delicious and I ate way too much.
“They’re taking photos on the beach before the show,” the waitress announces. “It’s quite beautiful with the sunset and the ocean behind you.”
“Oh, let’s do that, Blake,” Gretchen squeals, grabbing her fiancé’s arm.
“Would you like to get a picture taken together?” Alex looks at me hopefully. “It would be a nice way to remember our time together on this trip.”
“Okay, sure.” It’s just a picture. No big deal.
We walk hand in hand to the beach. When it’s our turn, Alex slides his arm around my waist as the photographer snaps the camera.
“How about one with you gazing into each other’s eyes?” the photographer suggests.
I look up at Alex, the soft ocean breeze picking up the ends of my hair as our eyes meet. His gorgeous green eyes are brimming with emotion. Desire. Need. And love. It’s there. Unmistakable. Alex is in love with me. His drunken declaration the night before rings true.
My body breaks out in a sweat, fear prickling my spine. My stomach flip-flops, threatening to expel a spew of Kalua pork and other Hawaiian dishes that I overindulged in. Why did I eat so much?
The music is too loud, aggravating the headache that I can feel coming on. I try to enjoy the after dinner performance, but I’m too far gone. Tumbling toward a panic attack. I smile and make small talk with the others. An endless supply of alcohol keeps me from falling over the edge.
On the way back to the beach house, I stare out the window, taking deep breaths as I try to steady my pounding heart.
“Are you ok, Shelby?” Alex takes my hand, threading his fingers through mine.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” My voice comes out in a gravelly whisper.
“Shelby,” he says quietly, “You barely said a word for the last hour and you look like you’re going to throw up.”
I could say I ate too much, or drank too much. But I don’t. I just sit there, staring at the man who wants me. A good man. A man I’m in love with. What the fuck is wrong with me?
When we arrive at the beach house, I head for the front porch. I need air. I stand at the railing, staring out into the dark abyss of the ocean, sucking in big gulps of salty air.
“Shelby, what’s going on?” Alex prods, coming to stand next to me.
I don’t want to have this talk with Alex until after the wedding. But the pressure is getting to me. Building inside me, squeezing me tighter and tighter. If I don’t do something soon, I’m going to snap.
“I love you, Alex,” I say, turning to face him. He grins widely, opening his mouth to say something, but I put my finger up to his lips. “Please, let me finish before you say anything. I fell in love with you all those years ago when we had our summer romance. I’ve realized over the past week, that I never stopped loving you. But I don’t know if we can be together.”
He grimaces, sadness and confusion etched on his face. “I don’t understand. You said you love me. I love you, Shelby. Why can’t we do this? We are great together. Move to Ann Arbor. Let’s start a life together there. I want to be with you, baby doll.”
I run my hands through my hair as tears sting my eyes. “I can’t, Alex. I can’t be with you because I don’t trust you. You broke my heart and almost destroyed me. I can’t go through that again.”
“What?” He stares at me, a bewildered look in his eyes. “Shelby, I’ve apologized for that. And it was so long ago. We were just kids.”
“As soon as there was trouble, you ran away. How do I know that you won’t do that again?”
“I promise you I won’t. I’m a grown man, Shelby. Not a twenty-one-year old college student.”
“Okay. But how do I know that if, say I get a debilitating disease or one of our kids is born without ears, that you won’t take off?”
He presses his lips together, his brow furrowed. “Why would our kid be born without ears? Is that a common birth defect?”
“I don’t know. It's the first thing that came to my head. You get the point.”
“I promise you, I’m in this for the long haul. Whatever life throws at us, I will be by your side.”
“How am I supposed to trust you? You say that now, but you don’t have a great track record.”
“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Anger flashes across his face, his green eyes blazing.
Don’t do it, Shelby. Stop right now. Once you say things, you can never take them back. “You left your wife when she couldn’t give you kids. You could have stuck it out, adopted, used a surrogate. But you quit instead.” Oh, Shelby. Too far.
His face turns a deep shade of crimson. I’ve never seen Alex this angry before. Sweat trickles down my back as he glares at me, clenching his fists at his sides.
“You know why I left. It wasn’t because of a problem. She lied to me. And I didn’t love her. I never did. I can’t believe you would throw that in my face.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I was out of line.”
He stares out at the ocean. “I think I’m going to sleep on the couch tonight.”
“Okay. If that’s what you want.”
He turns and heads into the house, slamming the door so hard that the glass shakes. My body shudders as I lean on the railing, crying softly. I hear the door open and close again.
“Hey,” Gretchen says softly, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
“No.” I glance over at her. “I’m sorry for being a shitty Maid of Honour.”
“You’re not. It’s my fault. I brought you guys together.”
“Yeah. But you didn’t know that Alex would get divorced and I would break up with Fitz and we’d end up here together, both single.”
“No. But,” she pauses running her tongue across her lips. “Have you ever considered that the timing of your guy’s break ups and my wedding might be fate. Like it was meant to be. You and Alex are supposed to be together.”
“You know I don’t believe in that crap.”
“Believe what you want, Shelby. But you and Alex love each other. That much is pretty obvious.”
I lean my head on her shoulder. My mind is trying desperately to protect my heart from getting broken again. But isn’t Alex worth the risk? What if I spend the rest of my life alone because I let the man I was supposed to be with, pass out of my life?
Chapter 30
Shelby
The day dawns sunny and bright, clear blue skies holding the promise of a perfect day for a beach wedding. I roll on my side, taking in the sight of my best friend lying next to me. Sound asleep. Peaceful. About to embark on the biggest day of her life. And I
know there will be no cold feet. Not with Gretchen. She is the most confident person I know.
She slept with me last night, subscribing to the tradition that a bride and groom shouldn’t sleep together the night before their nuptials. Sadly, I had an open spot available in my bed. Alex slept on the couch for the second night in a row. We haven’t spoken since our fight after the luau. Yesterday we were busy with wedding preparations, and it was relatively easy to avoid each other. Today will be a different story.
“Hey,” I whisper as her eyelids flutter open.
“It’s my wedding day,” she says, her face breaking out into a huge grin. “I’m getting married today, Shelby.”
“I know, girl. You’re a lucky woman. Blake’s going to make you so happy. He’s a good man.”
“I know.” She rolls over so she’s facing me. “Wanna know a secret?”
“Always,” I reply excitedly.
“You can’t say a word to anybody. Not even Alex.”
“I don’t think that will be a problem,” I whisper, blinking back tears.
She pulls me into a hug. “You guys will work this out. I just know it.”
“What’s the secret?” I ask, searching her face for clues. “Spill your guts.”
“I’m pregnant.”
“What?!”
“I went off the pill last month thinking it would take a while to get my cycle back on track. We weren’t really trying. We just didn’t do anything to prevent it, thinking it would take a few months.”
“Oh my God. You’re having a baby?” I stare at her incredulously.
“Yes. I took a home pregnancy test yesterday.”
“Does Blake know?”
“Yeah. He’s pretty stoked. Thinks he a real stud.”
I chuckle. “That’s cute.
“I know. I kind of suspected for a few days.”
“That’s why you didn’t drink the night Claire tried to hire a stripper. And you didn’t have any Mai Tais at the luau.”
“Do you think I will make a good mom?”
“You’re going to a fabulous mom, Gretchen.” I hug her tightly as we bawl our eyes out.