by P. C. Cast
In Partholon my dream weirdness turned to magic. Epona often communicated with her Chosen through dreams. Actually, it’s more accurate to say that the Goddess’s Chosen has the ability for astral projection, which Partholonian priestesses call the Magic Sleep. In other words, the Chosen’s (moi’s) sleeping soul projected anydamnwhere at the whim of Epona. Which is as cool and as disconcerting as it sounds. Epona has projected me everywhere from the middle of a bloody Fomorian battle where my bodiless spirit saved my husband’s life, to a Partholon birth, attended by singing, laughing women where I witnessed the miracle of new life.
For most of my pregnancy, though, Epona had kept my Magic Sleep trips to a minimum. Well, that is after Nuada was vanquished, Rhiannon was entombed and I was returned to Partholon (where I definitely belong). So I was surprised when my dream of Hugh Jackman rubbing my feet while Brandon Routh rubbed my shoulders (both were, of course, in their full superhero costumes) and argued over which one of them was more worthy of my very personal attention that night (I was leaning toward Brandon. He is, after all, super.) was interrupted by my spirit suddenly popping up through the ceiling of Epona’s Temple like a wine cork surfacing in a cask of my favorite red.
“Oh, jeesh.” I gulped big breaths of night air (yes, I know, I didn’t really have a “body” but just trust me on this—it feels like I still have a body). “Ugh, feeling sick…feeling dizzy…feeling…” I suddenly realized why I was feeling so discombobulated and I grinned. “Feeling not pregnant!”
Epona’s silver laughter seemed to float musically in the air around me. Did you expect to feel pregnant after you gave birth, Beloved?
“Well, no. But it’ll be awhile before I get back into those little leather riding slacks that are so cute. So I guess I just figured I’d still feel fat and bloated the night after I gave birth.”
The spirit recovers quicker than the body from childbirth. I was relaxed, loving the sound of my goddess’s familiar voice in my head, but my aimless floating came to an abrupt end with Epona’s next words. And it is good that the spirit recovers quickly. Tonight you need to make a difficult journey, one that was not safe for you to attempt in the last stages of your pregnancy.
“What is it? Not the Fomorians again?” I tried to keep my fear in check, but just the thought of those creatures abroad with my newborn daughter helpless, asleep…
It is not Fomorians.
I had a moment to feel relieved, and then I remembered what had happened just before the exhaustion of labor and birth had caused me to fall into a deep sleep. “Rhiannon.”
Rhiannon, the Goddess agreed.
“But she’s dead!” I blurted.
Yes, Beloved. Rhiannon is dead.
“I—I didn’t know that she was alive inside that tree all this time.” The thought of it still made me sick. I’d played a part in putting her there, as had Clint. His part had cost him his life.
Rhiannon’s choices entombed her alive. Not you—not Clint. As usual, it seemed Epona could read my mind. You should know, Beloved, that before she died, what was broken within Rhiannon’s soul was finally healed.
“I’m glad,” I whispered, meaning it.
She was healed and her spirit rescued from the dark god, but Pryderi still lusts to control one who carries the blood of my Chosen.
“Myrna!” I gasped. “He’ll go after my baby?”
He may, Beloved, just as he tried to draw you from me.
I snorted. “No damn chance of that.”
With you and ClanFintan by her side, there will also be little chance Myrna will listen to Pryderi’s dark whisperings.
“We sure as hell won’t make the mistakes that were made raising Rhiannon,” I muttered. Rhiannon had been spoiled and cosseted and basically never told no. (Note to self: remember to jump square in Myrna’s butt if/when she gets mouthy.) “Myrna is going to know the meaning of ‘no you may not, little girl.’”
So you see, Beloved, it is not Myrna about whom I am worried.
“Huh?” I said succinctly.
Ready yourself, Beloved. And remember, I will be with you.
I had just enough time to start to worry about where the hell Epona was taking me when the clear sky over the temple began to swirl as if a weird, inverted tornado had materialized. I blinked at the dark cone shape that shifted and opened to show me a tunnel of fire. And before I could say, “Billy Jo Bob loves his first cousin” my spirit was sucked into that roiling inferno. Knowing I was no longer physically attached to my body made no damn difference. It still felt like my heart was literally being squeezed within my chest. I couldn’t breathe. In a total state of panic I opened my mouth to scream, and my spirit exploded from the tunnel. I was thoroughly disorientated. Nausea engulfed me. I gulped huge breaths of cool air, wondering (and not for the first time) at how a spirit body could come so close to projectile vomiting. But soon the familiar hovering sensation calmed me and I felt my vertigo fade. I glanced down, and realized where I was. Happiness shocked through my spirit, chasing away the last of the nausea. I was back in Oklahoma, floating over my childhood home. Slowly, my spirit body began to sink through the achingly familiar roof, and very soon I was hovering in the middle of my parents’ living room.
I stayed very still, just wanting to soak in the room. Nothing had changed. It was clean, but messy. You know what I mean. My parents have a real home where people actually live and love and laugh instead of a cold, heartless showpiece. (I mean, please, even my opulent chamber in Epona’s Temple gets messy sometimes!) Books were strewn all over the end tables and whatnot. (My parents read constantly. Their favorites are paranormal romances. Yes, even my dad reads them. Promise. Which is proof that men can evolve beyond the subhumanoid level of Sports Illustrated and Maxim.) There was only one small table lamp on and it was turned down so low that it actually took me a little while to realize that Dad was sitting in the chair next to the lamp. He was sound asleep.
I smiled and firmly told myself I would not cry. Just the sight of Dad made me feel warm and safe and loved. Man, I’d missed him. I felt the little shiver that told me Epona had worked some of her magic to make my spirit body visible, and glanced quickly down at myself. Thankfully this time I wasn’t naked. Then I looked back at Dad and, with another grin, opened my mouth to shout a big Surprise, Dad, it’s me, when the book in his lap moved. And kicked. And made a little cooing noise.
“Holy shit, that’s not a book!”
At the sound of my voice Dad’s body jerked. He blinked, squinting around the room sleepily, clearly thinking he’d been dreaming. Then he shifted the baby (BABY?!) from the crook of his arm to his shoulder, where he patted the diapered behind gently.
“Dad, where the hell did that baby come from?”
Dad’s body jerked in surprise again. He followed the sound of my voice up and his eyes widened. “Shannon? Is that you, old Bugsy?”
“It’s me, Dad.” Then before I could say anything else he said, “Is everything all right with you? Did anything bad happen today?”
“I’m good, Dad—great, actually. I had a daughter today. Her name is Myrna and she’s amazingly beautiful. You’re a grandpa!”
“Bugsy old girl, that’s wonderful!” He shifted the baby from his shoulder to his other arm so that he could wipe his eyes clear of tears. I glanced at the baby and felt the shock of recognition sear me like I’d just touched a hot iron.
“Whose child is that?”
I knew what his answer would be before he said it.
“Rhiannon’s.”
“How, Dad? She’s dead.”
He nodded his head slowly. “Yep, yep. She died today giving birth to her.”
“Her?” I felt sick, even though I’d known the baby had to be a girl child. Epona’s Chosen was always gifted with a girl child as her firstborn.
“Rhiannon named her Morrigan,” Dad said.
“Did Rhiannon die here? I don’t understand. How did she get out of that tree?”
Dad sighed. “I only kn
ow what happened secondhand. Rhiannon was dead when she got here. An old shaman found her and helped deliver the baby. He told me that Rhiannon had made a deal with a dark god to break free of the tree. She was to be his High Priestess—both she and Morrigan were supposed to pledge to his service—but the birth of Morrigan changed her. Or I guess fixed her would be a better way to put it. Rhiannon denied the dark god, but she was so near death that the god wouldn’t release her. So she called on Epona, and the Goddess answered her.”
“Epona forgave Rhiannon?”
“She did,” Dad said.
I know it was wrong—selfish of me and more than a little hateful, but knowing that Rhiannon had reconciled with Epona made me feel ridiculously jealous.
You are now, and will forever be my Chosen One. My love for Rhiannon does not lessen my love for you, Beloved.
Epona’s voice in my head made me jump guiltily.
Pay attention now, Beloved. Your father must be made aware of Pryderi’s intentions.
And suddenly I knew why Epona had pulled me through the fiery tunnel that separated our worlds, and it wasn’t just for me to tell Dad about Myrna or for me to understand what had happened to Rhiannon.
“Dad, are you keeping Rhiannon’s baby?”
“Yep…yep…” He looked down at the child and touched her cheek gently before continuing. “It was Rhiannon’s last request. But there’s more to it than that, Shannon. This baby is so much like you were. I have to help her—I can’t let her go to strangers.” His eyes begged me to understand. And, oddly, I did.
“She looks just like Myrna. It’s really weird. I suppose it makes sense. Rhiannon and I could have been twins. And Clint and ClanFintan are mirrors of each other—” I broke off abruptly with a gasp. This was Clint’s daughter! Had I chosen to stay in Oklahoma and not returned to my life in Partholon, Clint would be alive today. He and I would be together. My next child would have been his…I clamped down on those thoughts, forcing myself not to cry…not to regret…
Dad looked only momentarily surprised. “Clint’s daughter, huh? I’m glad to hear it. I liked that young man.”
“So did I,” I said quietly. “Did the shaman say anything about finding Clint’s body by the tree?”
Dad met my eyes. “No. And I’m sure if his body had been there the old man would have mentioned it.” He paused. “So Clint is dead.”
Although it wasn’t a question, I nodded. “It was the sacrifice of his life that returned me to Partholon.”
“Yep…yep…He was brave. I’ll be sure to tell Morrigan what a good man her father was.”
Which reminded me. “Dad, I’m here because Epona wants me to warn you. That dark god that broke Rhiannon free from the tree?” Dad nodded. “His name is Pryderi. He’s really bad news. They call him the Triple-Faced God, when they call him anything at all. Most people in Partholon won’t even speak his name. A long time ago he was Epona’s consort, but he betrayed her because he wanted her power. She banished him, but he wants to come back.” I spoke the next words as the Goddess whispered them through my mind. “His power feeds on worship.” I paused, sifting through the knowledge Epona was giving me. “It’s like he’s a vampire. He literally drains the good from those who worship him. He thrives on the ashes of their souls. And he needs a High Priestess as a go-between, so that his evil intentions are hidden from his worshippers.” I drew a deep, shaky breath. “He wants to use a daughter of Epona’s Chosen to win a hold on Partholon. That means even in Oklahoma Morrigan will not be safe because we all know sometimes people can travel from Oklahoma to Partholon.”
I was shocked to see that Dad didn’t look one bit surprised. He only nodded slowly and said, “Yep, that’s basically what the shaman told me. It’s why Rhiannon asked Epona to forgive her. So that her spirit could be free to watch over her daughter and try to keep her from being lured to the Dark Side.”
Despite the seriousness of the situation, his wording made me smile. “The Dark Side, Dad? As in Darth Vader?”
“Seems like a reasonable comparison.”
A laugh bubbled out of me. “I suppose you’re right.”
“So I’ll just have to be sure that the Force is strong with her,” he said, chuckling.
“Seriously, Dad, Pryderi is going to come after her. Raising her could put you and Mama Parker in danger.”
“We know that, Shannon. This isn’t our first time around the dance floor.” Then he smiled at me. “Dark gods or no dark gods, parenting is a damn tough job. You’ll see.”
I frowned at him. “I’m talking about an evil deity sniffing around, not about the terrible twos or an obnoxious teenager.”
“Obnoxious teenager is redundant,” Dad said automatically, and I had to force myself not to smile. Dad had been teaching and coaching for about a zillion years. He and I definitely saw eye to eye on teenagers.
“You know what I mean,” I said.
“I do.” He paused and then sighed. “What would you have me do, Bugsy, give her to the state to raise? I imagine that would be playing right into Pryderi’s hands.” He shook his head before I could answer. “Nope, nope. I won’t do that. Mama Parker and I decided. We’re going to raise her and do our best by her.” He smiled at me and his eyes were shiny with familiar love. “It worked once before. You didn’t go over to the Dark Side. It’ll work again, Bugsy old girl.” He cleared his throat and added quietly, “This little girl is all I’ll ever have of you or my granddaughter. In this world, it’s the closest I’ll come to leaving a part of me behind. You can’t really mean to ask me to give that up, can you?”
I blinked fast, trying to clear the tears from my eyes. “No, Dad. I can’t ask you to give that up. I just want you to be really, really careful.”
“I will. I give you my word on it. Plus—” he grinned “—Rhiannon’s ghost is supposed to be around somewhere. I imagine she’ll help out with the more boogerman-like aspects of parenting Morrigan.”
I glanced around, almost afraid I’d see a spooky version of myself lurking about. “Dad, that’s just weird.”
He barked a laugh. “No weirder than your spirit floating around my living room while your body’s in another world.”
I shrugged. “You have a point.”
Tell him he has my blessing, Beloved. You should not stay any longer. Having your spirit separated so far from your body is not healthy.
“Dad,” I said hastily. “Epona says I gotta go in a second. But she wants me to tell you that you have her blessing.”
Dad bowed his head respectfully. “Tell Epona I appreciate that, and I’ll be sure Morrigan is raised spending plenty of time in the country around trees, and that she knows the Goddess’s name.”
“And horses,” I added, intuitively knowing Epona would approve. “Be sure she’s around horses.”
“Yep, yep. Just like you,” he said. “I’ll be sure she has her own mare.”
“It’d be cool if you could make it a gray mare. Epona’s Chosen mare is always a silver-gray.”
“Yep, I can do that.”
I felt my spirit body begin to shiver, and I knew I would soon disappear. “I love you, Dad! Don’t ever forget that. And I miss you! And remember that in Partholon there’s a part of you that lives on there.”
“I love you, too, Bugsy old girl. Try to come back and see me again.”
“I will, Dad. Tell Mama Parker I love her, too.”
“I’ll tell her. Oh! And happy birthday, Shannon!”
“Thanks, Dad, and don’t forget to be careful…” I called. The living room and Dad faded from my view as I lifted through the house and then, before I could steady myself, I was sucked back into the tunnel of fire.
* * *
“Oh, shit!” I sat up too fast and grimaced at the tenderness in my body.
“Rhea? What is it?” ClanFintan hurried up to our bed. He’d obviously just gotten back from the Sacred Grove. He smelled vaguely of damp earth and sweat.
Shakily, I pushed my wild hair out of my
face. “The Magic Sleep. It was just especially disconcerting tonight. Epona sent me back to Oklahoma.”
Concern narrowed his dark eyes. “Why there?”
I answered him with a question of my own. “You didn’t find Rhiannon’s body, did you?”
“No.” And then I saw understanding flash on his face. “She died in your old world.”
I nodded. “But not until giving birth. Today. To a daughter my parents have decided to raise.”
ClanFintan looked almost as shocked as I’d felt when I’d discovered Morrigan in my father’s arms. Then my eyes followed his and we gazed at the perfect baby girl who slept so peacefully in the cradle beside our bed.
“Rhiannon’s daughter looks just like Myrna,” I said.
I saw ClanFintan jerk in surprise. Then his eyes found mine, and I saw they were shadowed with worry. “Why did Epona send your spirit to your father?”
“She wanted me to warn him. Pryderi freed Rhiannon from the tree. She was supposed to be his minion or whatever, but the birth of her daughter changed her…fixed her…” Emotions made my voice choke and I had to clear my throat before I could continue. “Rhiannon was forgiven by Epona before her death, and her bonds to the dark god were broken, but it seems Pryderi is still after a Chosen of Epona—or the daughter of a Chosen.”
“That dark creature had better look elsewhere. He will not touch our daughter with his evil whisperings.”
“Which is exactly why Epona had me warn Dad. He can’t have me. He can’t have Myrna or any other children we may have. So his next logical choice would be—”
“Rhiannon’s daughter,” he finished for me.
“Exactly,” I said.
“Is your father prepared to fight a dark god for the soul of the child?”