by J. Preston
Once again, I thank my lucky stars and…well, kitten. Thanks to her, I was able to drop subjects I had no interest in, like Economics and Finance, and focus properly on the exams I had ahead of me. Not to mention the elation both my advisor and my father must have felt upon hearing that I finally chose my major. My father was particularly pleased since I went ahead with his requirement, like the good little son that I was, choosing a major that would tie in nicely with his empire.
I hate myself for needing to please him in any way, but at least he’s off my back for now, which gives me time to convince him that I am not the right person for his business.
For the next hour, my mind drifts back and forth between the text in front of me and the memory of Jenny’s lips on mine. I keep on trying to figure out how I can get her alone. I need to explain myself and, in order to do that, I need her to stop for a minute and listen to me. Maybe tomorrow, at the party. Or, if worst comes to worst, on the plane to London, the day after the party. She’ll have to talk to me then, confined space and all. She’ll have nowhere to run.
I sigh and look down at the textbook again, resigning and closing it with a loud thump. There’s not much concentration left for me to squeeze out of my brain, so I get up from my desk and position myself on top of the covers on my bed. Closing my eyes, I try to fathom how on earth I got to this point and how it’s even possible that the sexiest girl on earth, one that is also amazingly clever, even gave me the time of day? Because she did. She was the one who kissed me in the garden and, for a second, it seemed quite possible that she wanted me—wanted us—as much as I did. Or at least she did before I ruined everything…
I fall asleep with Jenny’s face on my mind and the memory of her soft skin on my fingertips.
Friday is a blur of last-minute studying, exam sitting, and coffee—lots of coffee. By the time I’m done I am exhausted, and partying is the last thing on my mind. But Jason assured me that ‘anyone who’s anyone’, including Hayley and Jenny, are going. So I force myself into the shower. I’m packed and ready for our flight tomorrow, so I can just relax and have fun tonight, as soon as I talk to kitten, that is. I don’t anticipate much drinking anyway. Flying with a hangover is a bitch, and I’d never put myself through that…again.
By the time we get to the venue, the party is in full swing. I look around, trying to find Jenny, but all I see in the strobe light is a mass of gyrating bodies dressed in metallic, alien-looking costumes. I feel like an alien myself, out of place and not really sure what to do, so I make rounds saying ‘hi’ to people I barely know but seem to think we know each other well enough for them to slap my back. When I finally spot Kennedy and Jason, they seem to be busy chatting up a group of blondes.
I start walking towards them when, from the corner of my eye, I notice Chloe waving at me. She’s standing to the side of the dance floor and is surrounded by what can only be described as her clones. I wave back but keep going towards my friends. That’s when I finally see kitten. I stop in my tracks just to drink her in. She’s wearing a silver, metallic dress and a glittery headband with a couple of silver ball poppers that bounce with every movement of her head, making her look like a cute character straight out of Roswell High. She is laughing, and as I take a step forward to go and say hello to her, to finally put the silly misunderstanding behind us, I feel a hand wrap around my bicep. I look down at my arm, then up toward Carter’s face.
“What?” I mouth at him. The music is so loud that even if I tried shouting, he wouldn’t hear me. He shakes his head at me as if saying I should leave Jenny alone. I frown, not sure why he’d stop me. I slowly look back towards kitten, who’s leaning against the wall. God, I wish her smile was meant for me. That’s when I notice she’s not alone. Next to her is some guy I’ve never seen before. He’s leaning into her and smiling. He reaches out with his hand towards her face and takes a strand of her hair, wrapping it around his fingers, playing with it. Jenny doesn’t push him away. She rolls her eyes as he leans closer to her mouth. I can’t look, but like a trainwreck, I can’t look away. I start walking their way, getting ready to beat the crap out of this douche canoe, or at least get him away from her, but Carter stops me. He pulls my arm and whirls me around just as the prick’s face connects with Jenny’s. I blink once, twice, the image of his mouth closing in on Jenny’s on repeat in my head like an annoying gif you can’t stop, but let play over and over.
I don’t see anything else. All I can see is red with the image repeating itself. All I want to do is punch something. How the hell is this happening to me? Again! Carter pulls me towards the bar and pours two shots of tequila down my throat when we get there. I have two more, for good measure, as soon as the first two stop burning my esophagus. When I have two more, Carter says something to me then turns to walk away, leaving me alone, but I can’t hear him over the rush of blood in my head and the loud music.
Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be? Me alone, forever. I motion the bartender for another two shots. I’m swaying a little and can’t properly focus on much, but that’s ok. At least kitten is no longer the main focus; staying upright and getting hammered is. Downing my seventh shot of the night, I nearly fall off the stool I’m sitting on. So maybe I should slow down.
“Are you okay?” I see two Chloe’s in front of me and I am suddenly glad I’m not alone. I shake my head to clear it then nod, putting my elbow on the bar for balance. But I miss and slump ungracefully. I clear my throat and reach for the last shot in front of me. Chloe pulls it out of my hand. “Let me take that. You seem like you’ve had enough,” she says, then downs my shot. I frown at her. Who the hell does she think she is? Drinking my only comfort. I motion for the bartender and another two shots appear on the bar in front of us. Chloe rolls her eyes and shakes her head, then takes one of the shots and drinks with me. I’m glad to have a companion, actually. Getting drunk by yourself is overrated. “So tell me what’s wrong?” she asks. Again, I frown and try my hardest to focus on her chin.
“She kissssed ssssome guy, or he kissssed her. Whooo the ffffuck knowssss,” I slur, slumping in my chair and leaning on Chloe.
“Hon, do you mean Jenny?” She asks. I nod drunkenly into her armpit. She doesn’t smell of sweat, unlike most of the people around us, which is a welcomed change. “Are you sure? I mean, you two seemed pretty hung up on each other.” Oh, I’m sure! I nod again. “Shit…” she murmurs, shaking her head. “C’mon. You’re pretty drunk, let’s go get some fresh air and talk this through.”
She grabs me by the waist and hoists me down off the stool and towards the door. I feel drunker than I thought I was, so I’m glad I’ve got someone to guide me out. I want out of this place and as far away from everyone as possible. Chloe is surprisingly strong, keeping me up while I lean on her. Why does kitten hate her? Chloe is nice, like now, for example. While Jenny is off snogging some bastard, Chloe is the one making sure I’m okay. Jenny… That girl seems to be nothing but trouble.
We get outside and the fresh air hits my face, enticing the tequila to flow around in my veins like they’re on some sort of a racetrack. I’m trashed; that’s a fact I’ve decided to accept, so I sit down on the concrete with Chloe standing above me. The whole world is spinning around, and I suddenly have the urge to lie down and close my eyes.
So I do just that.
When I wake up, it’s morning and I’m in a room I don’t recognise. My head is pounding, the room spinning. I groan and put my hand to my forehead, pulling the duvet off my chest. My whole body is burning up and I feel like a frog died in my mouth. I sit up slowly, noticing I’m not wearing anything. What the hell?
24 Pretty Hung Up On Someone Else
When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic
- Carter
Jenny
I see him as soon as he walks in, my eyes are drawn to him like a moth to a flame. He doesn’t notice me, so it just gives me the opportunity to observe him as he makes rounds. He looks so handsome my chest aches. He’s
wearing a black t-shirt that is tight in all the right places, letting my imagination run wild, back to the time when my hands ran over his hard chest. Back to the time when, like a dream come true, we kissed in the garden under a willow tree.
It’s just great, isn’t it? The first guy I fall for ends up being a spineless piece of British poop… Can’t stand up for himself in front of my stupid brother; the same stupid brother who, just a second ago, was busy getting his face sucked by some blonde. Why is he allowed face sucking time and I am not? Why?
I place my hand above my heart, taking a breath and following Aiden’s movements. The club is full of students, the loud music pumping to the rhythm of my broken heart. And every time I see him smile at someone else, my chest squeezes as the feeling of rejection stabs my soul.
“What do you say, Jenny? Want to get that drink?” I move my eyes towards Derek, or Dylan, or David with the posh accent. I’m not sure what his name is. I wasn’t really listening to him all the time he droned on about his fraternity. He’s close to me, too close, but I welcome the distraction from the useless Brit who has been constantly on my mind ever since that kiss. My eyes dart back around the club at the thought of Aiden, but I lost him in the crowd of sweaty bodies. I look back up at Derek, Dylan, or David and try to smile. It comes out a little forced, but he doesn’t seem to notice.
“A drink would be nice, but I don’t want to lead you on…” I start slowly. His head cocks to the side and he flashes me a smile. He’s handsome, I’ll give him that. Tall and slim but muscular, and he’s got those high cheekbones some people pay good money for. And a boyish charm about him that you so often see in designer advertisements in magazines. He could easily be a model. His eyes look me up and down mischievously.
“And why would you be leading me on?” he asks.
“I’m pretty hung up on someone else,” I say resignedly. Derek, Dylan, or David glances around the club, searching. “Even if he doesn’t want me,” I add, mumbling.
“Is he here?” he asks. I nod, forcing my gaze not to wander around the club again in search of the boy who’s determined to make my life a living hell. “Well, he’s pretty dumb, in my opinion.”
I arch my eyebrow, smiling. I agree, Aiden is pretty dumb. “And why is that?”
“To reject a gorgeous girl like you, he must be pretty stupid!” I laugh.
“Right,” I say, blushing a little and silently thanking whoever manages this place for their choice in crappy lighting.
“In fact,” he says, taking a strand of my hair into his hand and slowly twirling it around his fingers, “I think he must be a class-A idiot to let a girl like you pass him by.” I laugh, throwing my head back and just letting his words sink in. It’s nice having his full attention on me, and the feeling of being desired tickles my lower belly. At least with this guy I know where I stand. I know he likes what he sees, and the knowledge makes me brave.
“You know what?” I smile at him playfully. “I absolutely agree with you! I’m a catch!”
He grins at me. I notice he doesn’t have dimples, and for some reason my heart sinks a little, but I don’t let that interrupt our little moment too much.
He leans down towards me and whispers conspicuously. “You definitely are. You’re so gorgeous, you know?”
I don’t move, spellbound by his words as his face keeps leaning closer to mine, his eyes on my mouth, and the corner of his lips twitch into a little smile. I can feel his breath brush against my cheeks. It smells of whiskey. For a moment, I consider what it would be like to kiss him. I close my eyes and try to envision his lips touching mine, but all I can see is Aiden’s dimpled smile and his emerald eyes looking into mine with something so deep behind them that I almost whimper, forgetting that it’s just my imagination. When Derek’s, Dylan’s, or David’s lips connect with the corner of mine, I’m not surprised. To hell with it, I think. To hell with Aiden!
But my body seems to think differently and, as my hands press against Derek’s, Dylan’s, or David’s chest, I feel myself push him away. He’s not him, and that’s enough for me to shut him down.
“Sorry,” he says, still smiling. “I just couldn’t help myself.”
I smile back at him and shake my head. “It’s fine,” I mumble. I spot Hayley from the corner of my eye. Her hands are on her hips and she’s looking at me like I’ve done something wrong. “I’ve got to go,” I say, pushing myself away from the wall and leaving Derek, Dylan, or David behind. His mouth forms a small ‘o’ and his brow furrows in confusion. I don’t care. I really, really don’t care. What has Aiden done to me?
“What?” I ask my best friend, standing in front of her and crossing my arms defensively.
“I didn’t say anything…”
“You look like you want to, though.” I huff.
“Not my business, hon,” she says. But after seeing my expression, she exhales. “Fine. It’s just, it sure looked like you were kissing a total stranger.”
“I wasn’t!” I all but shout. “I pushed him away. I wouldn’t… I-I couldn’t… He’s not him.” My arms drop and I can feel the corners of my lips turn down. Hayley’s face softens, and she puts her arm around me.
“It looked like you were kissing that guy. And the him you’re speaking of? He saw it all go down…” Shit.
No! Hold on. Why would he care anyway? It’s not like he wants anything from me, does he? A twinge of hope tugs at my heart, but I try really hard to ignore it.
“He looked,” Hayley continues, “fairly devastated. Carter had to drag him off to the bar.”
“Oh?” I look up, searching for Aiden’s broad shoulders and messy brown hair in the crowd gathered around the bar. I find him easily. First thing my eyes focus on, actually. It’s like he stands out from everyone else around him. I smile a small smile and take a step forward in his direction. He has this magnetic pull on me that my body can’t resist, no matter how much my brain screams at it.
I see Aiden down a shot and slam the empty shot glass on the bar, smiling a drunken, lopsided smile at someone to his left. My gaze momentarily darts to the person next to him, and my heart stops in my chest.
Chloe.
It’s okay, she’s kind of a friend now, isn’t she? I try to breathe evenly. I can feel Hayley’s hand wrap around my arm.
“You okay?” she says. I can barely hear her over the music. I nod my head in Aiden’s direction, and her hand squeezes my arm harder. “Shit.” I hear her muffled voice.
My gaze is trained on the twosome at the bar as they take another shot. Chloe’s gaze darts around the club and stops on me. She winks in my direction then says something to Aiden, putting her arm around him and helping him up off the stool. He seems drunk, more drunk than I’ve ever seen him before.
My blood turns to ice when she leads him towards the exit. He’s leaning heavily on her shoulder, as if he’s finding it hard to walk. The room begins to spin as soon as their backs disappear behind the double doors to the outside. I can feel cold sweat gather beneath my hairline at the back of my neck as I stare, dumbfounded, at the closed door.
“Jenny.” Hayley whirls me around to face her. “I’m sure it’s fine,” she says. The loud music and the screaming people around us drowns her voice out. The room is still spinning, so I shake my head from left to right in an attempt to make it stop.
“Hello little sister, and little sister from another mister!” Jason swoops in, shouting at us above the music, grinning. I try to smile, but I’m sure my smile resembles a weird lip twitch. My eyes land on the double doors again, and I find myself unable to look away. “What’s wrong with her?” I hear Jason’s voice to my side. I shrug, not sure who he’s talking about. Hayley’s hand grips my arm so hard I’m sure she’s drawing blood, and, if not, I’m certainly going to find bruises in the morning.
“Hey,” Jason says softly, standing in front of me, his face blocking the view I had of the door. “Want me to take you home?” I must have nodded because I’m being gently guided by
Hayley and Jason towards the exit and the double doors my eyes are fixated on. My heart speeds up. Will they be outside?
The question is answered as soon as the cool air hits me. There’s a long line of club goers waiting for their turn to be let in, a few couples hugging and groping each other, but no Aiden and definitely no Chloe.
Jason pulls me into Aiden’s Jeep and buckles me up. I lean my head into the headrest and close my eyes, inhaling the surrounding air that smells just like the guy I want so badly. The guy I want to want me back.
“I’m the designated driver tonight,” Jason explains after Hayley questions him about drinking. She huffs and gets into the back of the Jeep.
I’m not sure how long we’re driving for. My eyes are closed and my fingers trace the plastic of the console, tracing the pattern Aiden’s fingers must have made. At some point, we drop Hayley off at the dorm. She gives me a hug and kiss on the cheek, instructing me to keep in touch over the Christmas break. I just nod and try to smile at her. I completely forgot we’re flying to London tomorrow.
When we get home, Jason guides me into my room and sits me down on my bed, placing himself next to me and wrapping his arm around me, pulling me into his chest.
“Want to talk?” he asks.
I don’t say anything. Frankly, I’m trying to gather my thoughts. I don’t understand why my reactions are so intense. I mean, they only left together. That doesn’t mean anything, does it? Why am I acting like it’s the end of the world and the whole of the human race has been wiped?
“I don’t know…” I breathe.
“C’mon, JJ,” he says, using my old nickname. “You know you can tell me anything.” I hide my face in his t-shirt.
“I think…” I mumble into his chest. He pulls my face away from his chest so that he can hear me properly. I close my eyes and let out a long breath, saying what I’ve been trying to avoid admitting to myself for the past two months. “I’m in love with Aiden.”