An upset that made no sense at all so pretending it wasn’t there seemed like the best way to deal with it.
Wait until it disappeared.
Until he disappeared.
Alex pressed one hand to her stomach as the twist in her belly tightened.
“Al.”
She swallowed, trying to ease the tightness in her throat.
Edward leaned so close his face was almost touching hers. “I know you can hear me, Al.”
She snapped her eyes to his. “What do you want?”
His gaze moved over her face, slow enough to make her worry he saw what she was trying to pretend didn’t exist.
His whole body eased closer, the length of his arms coming to rest on the back of her chair and the edge of the desk. “I’m not going back to Virginia.”
A little of the treacherous bite in her insides relaxed. “You should.”
It was so much easier to try to push him away. Shove at the closeness Edward offered so easily.
“I should not.” His voice was low and soft. “I belong right here. With you.”
“You don’t know that.” Alex dug in, held tight to the last lingering thread of self-preservation he threatened to snip every waking minute.
“I do know that.” He leaned back a little. “And you will know it too when you’re ready.”
The certainty Edward felt was a weight pressing down on her, making her struggle to take a deep breath. “What if I’m never ready?”
It was what Sam came over to talk about. The fear that she was too far gone. Too closed off to ever let anyone in.
That she would never let someone love her.
Maybe she and Sam were the same. Maybe the damage her father did was too significant, the cuts too deep for her to ever hold together again.
Edward reached up to push her hair back, his hand resting against her cheek. “One step at a time, Al. That’s how we do this.” He glanced at the computer. “Would you feel better if you had a spreadsheet on it?”
A laugh leapt free. She covered her mouth, surprised by the sound.
“I’m serious.” He snagged her computer, turning it toward him before opening a new sheet in Excel. His fingers moved over the keyboard as he typed out a title for it.
Falling In Love with Edward
“Really? That’s the title you’re going with?” She peeked at him out of the corner of her eye.
“Good point.” He added a few more words to the end.
So We Can Get Married and Have Babies
“That’s worse.”
“My dads would disagree.” Edward turned the computer back her way. “Add one line.”
“I don’t think it makes sense to organize it by lines.”
He smiled. “Alright. One column then. Anything you want.”
Alex stared at the screen. “Is this like a tally of the things that you do?”
“It’s anything you want it to be. You can look at this in a way you’re used to.” His smile widened. “Objectively.”
It was laughable. A totally ridiculous idea.
She shut down the file. “We’re supposed to be working.” Alex opened up the spreadsheet that she used to keep track of monthly invoices. “So I can go eat some pasta and spend your money.”
****
“I LIKE THIS one.” Edward held up a giant fluffy blanket.
“It’s huge.”
“I’m a big guy.” He pulled it close to his chest, kicking out one foot to show it barely reached his toes. “See?”
Alex sighed. “Put it in the cart.”
Edward tossed the blanket in on top of the towels and sheets and random items he decided they should have. “Thank you for letting me spend my own money.”
Alex pushed the cart down the aisle, moving her eyes over the items on the shelves without really seeing any of it. “Did you and Alicia keep your money separate?”
“Always.” Edward added something to the cart. “But I don’t want that for us.”
“You’ve already thought about that?”
“Yup.” He picked up a giant pot and tipped it over to look at the bottom before adding it to the cart beside the French press he dropped in while she was distracted. “If you can’t manage finances as a couple, then you probably can’t manage life in general as a couple.” He shot her a grin. “And I’m confident we can handle finances.”
She didn’t actually have an argument for that. Edward was as knowledgeable as she was when it came to budgets and everything that went along with them. “What’s that pot for?”
“Gail.” He walked alongside the cart as Alex moved toward the checkouts. “I figure if she knows you have a big pot she’ll come cook more food for us.”
“That’s actually pretty smart.” Alex glanced back toward the household items. “Should we get a bigger pan too? Just in case?”
Edward shook his finger in the air. “See? We’re a good team, Al. I bet we can get Gail to make us all kinds of shit.”
They finished up at the home store then went to the grocery. Edward took control of the cart this time, heading straight for the back end of the building.
Alex followed behind him. “You look like you know what you’re looking for.”
“I am easy to feed, Al.” Edward turned down the aisle leading to the meat department. “I’ll eat anything, but you definitely could use some more steak in your freezer.”
She snorted out a laugh. “Okay.”
Edward stacked a few trays of sealed steak into the cart before adding in a pack of pork chops and a bag of frozen chicken. He glanced up. “You’re freezer’s empty.”
“I know. You ate all my food.” She unsuccessfully smothered a smile. “My fridge is empty too.”
“That’s why we’re here.” Edward grabbed the handle of the cart. “On to produce.”
He added in a variety of vegetables and a few fruits. “You shop like Craig.” Alex eyed the items in the cart.
“Is that a bad thing?” Edward opened the dairy case and pulled out an economy-sized pack of string cheese.
“I guess not.” Alex didn’t have a chance to reach for her favorite yogurt before Edward had it in his hand, adding it to the cart that looked shockingly similar to the way it would look if she was the one doing the shopping.
By the time Edward was done they were stretching the limits of her car’s truck capacity. “That’s a lot of food.”
“You’re not just shopping for one now.” He moved around the items already in her trunk, making room to add in the bags from the grocery. He gave her a grin over one shoulder. “You’ll get used to it.”
“Maybe.” She passed Edward bags, letting him figure out how to fit his haul into the limited space.
And he did. Somehow Edward managed to fit every bit of it into the trunk.
She would have had things stacked on the back seat and in the floorboard.
As Edward pulled out of the parking lot he reached over to grab her hand, his palm warm and wide where it pressed to hers. “How was that for a night out?” He glanced her way. “Exciting enough for you?”
“Super exciting. The grocery store is a happening place.” She turned to the window, hiding her smile from him.
“More exciting than looking at spreadsheets all night.”
“I like spreadsheets.” She finally risked a glance his way. “Definitely more than I like you.”
The damn smile came back, taking over her mouth like it didn’t realize how unwanted it was.
“I’m not too upset that I’m ranking up there with spreadsheets.”
“No one said you were ranking with spreadsheets.”
“I feel like you definitely did.” Edward squeezed the hand he’d been holding the entire drive home. “And I’m not letting you take it back.”
She rolled her eyes to the side window again, giving up on trying not to smile at him as they drove into town. “You think they got the tents all set up?”
“I would say if they didn’t then Kennet
h is still out there finishing up. He doesn’t walk away from a project until it’s done.” Edward leaned to look out the window toward where the tents were, in fact, completely set up. “It’s what made him such a good accountant.”
“Is he who made you want to be an accountant?” Alex rolled down her window, letting the cool mountain air drift into the car. She took a deep breath. Even after just a few hours away she already missed this place.
The peace it held.
“Yeah. He worked so many hours and traveled so much I ended up thinking being an accountant was more exciting than it turned out to be.” Edward rolled down his window too, his eyes coming to her as the added wind blew her hair around her face. “You’re beautiful.”
She rolled her eyes at him. “I know.”
“I don’t mean like that, Al.” Edward turned, finishing the loop he took past the tents then turned once more onto the road leading to Alex’s house. “I mean more than that.”
Alex sat up straight in her seat, eyes locked on something in front of the car.
“You’re—”
She slapped her hand over his mouth as the headlights caught on what she was seeing in the dark.
Edward stared at her a second longer before turning his head.
Alex dropped her hand from his mouth as she grabbed the handle of her door.
“Alex. No.” Edward’s voice carried behind her as she ran down the road.
Toward the man holding a gun in front of her house.
TWENTY
“HAVE YOU LOST your mind?” Edward’s breath came in choppy bursts, not from running after Alex, but from the panic her bad decision caused. He grabbed her, shoving her behind his back as he turned his attention to Kenneth. “What the fuck are you doing?”
Kenneth’s eyes were focused somewhere in the distance. “I’m going to need you to be quiet, son.”
“What’s—”
Alex’s hand slapped against his mouth for the second time, pressing tight as she pushed up on her toes to whisper in his ear. “Someone is in the woods.”
He tipped his head to look at her. Alex’s face was shadowed in the darkness, but her eyes caught the moonlight, almost seeming to glow in the—
Edward glanced up at the sky.
There was no moon.
His eyes snapped back to Alex and the glow of her pale blue eyes.
Her focus stayed where it was, fixed on the same spot Kenneth was watching.
After a few seconds she relaxed, the air escaping her lungs on a sharp exhale. “Everything’s fine.”
Kenneth slowly lowered the pistol he had pointed at the spot.
Edward wasn’t sure who to yell at first. Kenneth for pulling a gun, hell, for having a gun, or Alex for running toward a gun.
“You know what that was, Alex?” Kenneth turned Alex’s way.
Her chin lifted. “No.” Her eyes fell to the gun still in his hand. “That’s a nice gun you have there.”
Kenneth’s spine straightened as his eyes held Alex’s. “Thanks.” He switched something with his thumb. “Got it for safety.”
“Mmm.” Alex barely nodded. “That makes sense.”
“Yes, it does.” Kenneth tucked the pistol into the waistband of his pants. “You kids have a nice dinner?”
“Yup.” Alex turned to her car. “We have groceries to unload, so we should go do that.”
Kenneth turned to the camper. “I should get back in to Jeffrey. Let him know it was nothing.”
Alex smiled. “Have a good night.”
Kenneth nodded. “You too.”
Edward stood, looking between them, trying to figure out which of them to yell at first.
Edward went with Alex, rushing after her as she headed to the car. She peeked over one shoulder toward Kenneth as he found his way back to the fifth wheel then went straight to the driver’s door and popped the trunk. She started grabbing bags from the back as Edward looked from the camper back to her. “What in the hell just happened?”
Alex’s eyes were wide as they met his. “You were there. Your dad heard something and went to investigate. It turned out to be nothing.” She turned and made a beeline for the house, opening the door and going straight to the peninsula to set down the bags laced onto her arms. Edward set his load of bags down beside hers. “Al. What just happened?”
“I told you.” She lifted her brows. “If you want to know more you should probably go talk to your dad.” Alex turned and marched back out the door to grab another pile of stuff from the trunk.
“Fine.” There was no reason to say it. He was in the house alone. But it made him feel a little better. Like he had some control over the situation.
Edward went out the door, down the steps and straight past where Alex stood with another armload of groceries and home items. He banged on the door to his parents’ camper. It took longer than he expected for the door to open.
Jeffrey smiled out at him. “Hey there.” He leaned to look at the empty space behind him. “Alex isn’t with you?”
“Nope.” Edward stomped his way up the steps and into the fifth wheel where Kenneth stood in the living room area. “What’s going on?”
Kenneth didn’t miss a beat. “Nothing.”
He turned to Jeffrey, taking stock of his dad’s too-wide smile. Too-tight expression.
He was the weak link. Edward focused all his attention on Jeffrey. “What’s going on?”
Jeffrey’s gaze shifted to where Kenneth stood. “Your dad told you. Nothing.”
Edward stepped closer, blocking Jeffrey’s line of sight to Kenneth. “Something is going on.”
“Now why would you think that?” Jeffrey’s question was an attempt to deflect.
It wasn’t going to work.
“Well, because dad had a gun pulled outside.” He turned to shoot a look Kenneth’s way. “I didn’t even know he owned a gun.”
Jeffrey was wide-eyed when Edward turned back toward him. “Why does dad have a gun?”
“Protection?” The word squeaked free.
“Leave your dad alone.” Kenneth eased down into his recliner, raking one hand through his graying red hair. “He’s just trying to protect me.”
“From what?” What was it that was in the woods? “Should I go make sure Alex is okay?”
Kenneth’s eyes squinted a little. “I’m not sure I’d be too worried about that one, son. She might be able to take better care of herself than you can.”
Edward looked between his parents. “Can someone tell me what the fuck is going on?”
Jeffrey’s eyes widened as he looked to Kenneth.
Kenneth leaned back in his chair, rocking a little. “I wasn’t really an accountant, son.”
Edward tipped his head toward his dad, positive he hadn’t heard right. “What?”
“He worked for a secret branch of the government.” Jeffrey slapped both hands over his mouth.
Edward shook his head a little, trying to unmuddle the events of the past five minutes. “You weren’t an accountant?”
“No.”
“What were you?” Maybe it would be easier to wrap his head around Kenneth lying about his career if he knew what his dad really did all those years.
“That’s classified.”
“Classified?” Edward looked to Jeffrey. “I’m your son. How is that classified?”
“It just is.” Kenneth stood. “Stop looking at your dad like that. He doesn’t know either.”
“Why did you say you were an accountant all those years?”
“No one asks questions when you say you’re an accountant.” Kenneth lifted his brows. “Do they?”
“I don’t know.” Edward turned to the door. He needed a minute. “I gotta go.” He stumbled down the steps and out the door. There was no sight of Alex. The trunk of her car was closed and the outside light next to her front door was switched on.
He went across the porch and through the unlocked door.
Alex stood at the peninsula in the kitchen. She gave
him a hesitant smile. “Hey.”
“My dad was never an accountant.” Edward stood just inside the door. “Apparently I don’t have the clearance to know what he did.”
Alex came around the counter toward him. “That would explain the pistol.” She winced a little. “And the fact that he definitely knew how to handle it.”
“I guess.” Edward focused on her face. “What was in the woods, Alex?”
She rolled her lips inward, rubbing them together. For a second he thought she was going to tell him once again that she didn’t know.
“It was my sisters.”
Of all the things he expected, her sisters would have been the last thing he’d have come up with. “In the woods?”
Alex nodded.
“At night?”
She scrunched her face a little. “Yeah.”
“Is everyone around here crazy?” He pressed one hand to his head. “First my dad is in some sort of secret service and now your sisters go hiking around the woods at night.”
Alex pursed her lips twisting them to one side. “Remember when you said you wanted something different?”
He stared at her a minute.
Then Edward started to laugh.
“My dad is probably a fucking mercenary.” He rounded the sectional and collapsed onto the seat, collapsing against the cushions. “Can you imagine?”
“If my dad killed people?” Alex slowly came toward the couch. “Yes. I can imagine that.”
Edward sat up straight, turning toward her and holding out his arms. “Come here, Al.”
She eyed his outstretched hands for a second before coming close enough he could grab her and pull her down against him. “How did you get past finding out your father wasn’t dead?”
“I haven’t yet.”
“Well shit. I was hoping you’d have some advice for me.”
“I’m not sure my advice would apply.” She sat awkwardly on his lap, half sitting straight, and half leaning.
Edward wrapped one arm around her, using it to ease her down until her side rested against his chest. Then he grabbed her legs and pulled them up to drape over the couch beside him. “You act like you’re never sat on anyone’s lap before, Al.”
She was quiet for a minute. “I haven’t.”
Edward traced up her arm with his fingers. “It’s hard for me to imagine what your life was like. How it was when you were younger.”
Alex (BIG Northwest Book 2) Page 19