Akoni let out a long breath. Jeffrey's touch calmed the storm within him, and the knots of tension lessened. "I can only imagine, and yet, I have no one to teach me. No one who could explain it. I'm learning as I go, and it makes about as much sense to me as it does to you. I'm sorry I've not explained it. I literally don't know how. I've found no patterns to its behaviour."
Jeffrey hummed. "You've tied me up in your room and disappeared. When you came back, you claimed you couldn't remember doing it. You collapsed in the middle of the path and needed my help to move. It's your magic's doing, but you can't explain it. You need me close and can't explain it. I want to help you, Akoni, but I am frustrated. It's like your magic's behaviour is dictating our relationship."
"Handsome, that's why we are out here. If I can find the sanctuary, I may be able to get answers."
"And if you don't?"
Akoni closed his eyes. "Then I don't know. If I can't learn to control it, I don't see how I can be king."
Jeffrey tightened his hold. "Do you know the stories of Pyros? How the ground splits open without warning and bleeds fire? Ash rains down as smoke fills the air like a thick fog."
Akoni nodded.
"I don't like this place."
Akoni looked at Jeffrey's face, his slightly pursed lips. Was he afraid? Was that why he behaved so oddly? "They are only stories. Even if they were true, they'd be thousands of years old. Gaia protects us from such evil." He reached out, cupping Jeffrey's cheek, trailing his thumb over tanned skin.
Jeffrey huffed out a breath. After a while, he said, "I've been watching you. You're managing well for someone who's never travelled on foot."
"I am determined."
Jeffrey nodded.
"I'm also glad you're here. More than glad. Will you teach me some of your tricks?"
"What tricks?"
"How to skin a rabbit. Laying traps. Navigating. They seem like useful skills."
Jeffrey sneered. "Useful. Yes, knowing how to survive could be called useful. Why do you want to learn?"
"So I don't accidentally kill myself? So we have something to talk about when you won't talk to me about anything else? So I can be some use out here? Maybe if I prove some good it'll help you forgive me, and if not that, then maybe you'll tell me how you learned? Or maybe just because?"
"All right," Jeffrey said. "I'll teach you."
That night, they slept beside each other, Jeffrey's arms wrapped around Akoni.
The next day, Jeffrey taught Akoni about reading the sun for directions and general navigation. Every evening when they made camp, they laid traps, and if they caught something, Jeffrey showed Akoni how to skin and prepare the animal, a skill Jeffrey had learned from friends who were from the Clans.
Conversation flowed almost normally, and Jeffrey became more generous with touches again. It was enough to let Akoni manage his magic. Akoni prayed to Gaia for directions, and she sent enough signs to let them find their way. They moved ever deeper into the mountains.
After spending a full week trekking, they reached a cliff path. They'd been following a sheer rock wall for more than a day when the expanse of fields and forests gradually narrowed until only a few feet of path remained with a sheer drop where it ended. The path had become a steep incline, and each step strained Akoni's travel-weary body. His feet and legs had long since grown used to the walking, but now he seemed to almost be climbing vertically, and it strained a whole new set of muscles according to his body.
He'd been letting his feet carry him, trusting that Gaia was guiding him. Jeffrey followed, his steps faint, his breathing quieter than Akoni's. Pausing, Akoni let his gaze roam across the horizon, allowing him to catch his breath. Before him lay a massive valley with green fields and dense forest splattered throughout. There were no signs of human habitation, and Akoni wondered at that. It seemed like lush ground that would yield much if turned to farmland. Then again sharp, jagged mountain peaks bordered the valley on all sides. Getting in and out could be tricky. And then there were the stories of the Pyros Mountains that Jeffrey had mentioned, tales of how rivers ran deep with fire, burning all in their wake.
Akoni recalled mention of a fire god. Could the tales of Pyros be linked to him?
He shook his head to clear it and looked over his shoulder. Jeffrey stood bent in half, one hand leaning against the rock wall. A heavy knot formed in Akoni's stomach, and he went back. Hurrying down the steep slope would be foolish, so Akoni paced himself, placing his feet carefully as he made his way to Jeffrey as quickly as he could without endangering them both.
"Jeffrey, what happened?"
"Can't." Jeffrey shook his head, his breath coming in ragged gasps. "Storming can't!"
Akoni moved closer and, kneeling beside Jeffrey, he tried to get him to lift his head, hoping for a hint of what was going on. Jeffrey's eyes never met Akoni's, instead staring into the distance behind Akoni before squeezing shut. At the same time as Jeffrey whirled his head away, he sank to his knees, his hands stretched out in front of him, as if holding on to the path for dear life.
Running his hands over Jeffrey, Akoni found no signs of an injury or explanation for Jeffrey's state. He checked their surroundings. They'd come about halfway up the steep slope, the path marking a straight line down from where they were. It didn't appear to be nearly as high as it felt to walk up. It had probably taken them less than two hours to get that far. That meant another two hours of walking until they'd reach the top and whatever lay beyond. Akoni hoped for a stream and some even ground so they could make camp. Maybe have a wash. He felt filthy.
He shifted his gaze back on Jeffrey, who had begun muttering a steady stream of curses, barely audible. Two of Jeffrey's fingers were pressed tightly against his eyes, while the other hand still clawed at the ground. He reached out, laying a hand on Jeffrey's back, rubbing in soothing circles.
"Jeffrey, what's going on?" The only response was a shake of Jeffrey's head. Akoni let his gaze wander around again, behind him, at the valley, the sheer drop. Hundreds of metres down. Was that it? "Is it the height?" Akoni asked, keeping his voice kind and neutral, hoping to sound non-judgemental.
Jeffrey groaned but said nothing.
Shuffling around to Jeffrey's other side, Akoni pressed himself between the blond and the rock wall. He tried again to lift Jeffrey's head. This time their eyes met, Jeffrey's sea-green orbs were dark with fear.
"It's okay, Jeffrey. I'm here. You're safe."
"I can't..."
"Shh, it's all right. Just look at me. Remember that time in Extraneo when you were sleeping at the beach and I woke you up? Remember the sound of the waves? It was so peaceful there. The gentle splashing of the waves on the sand. Farther out the waves were breaking against the rocks, but it was far out, so it was a muted sound. I love the sound of the ocean, it's so relaxing." Akoni kept talking, keeping his voice calm and even. He still had one hand on Jeffrey's back, stroking up and down in what he hoped was a reassuring way. He used his other hand to keep Jeffrey's attention on him. With the rock behind Akoni, there'd be no indicator of their height for Jeffrey to get distracted by.
Slowly, as Akoni talked, Jeffrey's breathing became stronger, his body less tense. He closed his eyes less often, and his hand stopped clawing the ground. After a time, Jeffrey sat up a bit straighter, his back to the valley.
"I'm sorry," Jeffrey said, interrupting Akoni's tale of the ocean.
"Nothing to be sorry for. Feeling better?"
"I don't know what happened. I've been in the mountains so many times. My fear of heights has never really been a problem, I've always been able to manage it."
"I didn't even know you were afraid of heights." Recalling their date in Pyros, Akoni chided himself for bringing Jeffrey to the highest ledge in the keep. No wonder he had been drinking so much alcohol.
"Because it's not that bad. I get nervous but I can usually ignore it or deal with it. Here...after days of walking around at these heights I thought I was okay, but it's like I
could see the drop out of the corner of my eye with every step. I ignored it but then... I couldn't take another step, couldn't seem to breathe or think or do anything. I don't even know what happened."
"How are you now?" Akoni asked gently, certain that what Jeffrey had experienced was a panic attack. It seemed to explain some of Jeffrey's behaviour recently. Carrying around fear like that couldn't be easy, and it had escalated in the end.
"Still shaken but better. I'm not sure I can keep going, though." Jeffrey dared to glance up the path, taking in how far they had left to go.
"We'll take our time."
Jeffrey shook his head. "I don't think that'll help."
"I could keep talking about the ocean?"
"Yeah, thank you for that. It really helped. But not sure it'll be enough to get me up there. I think it might be time for you to go on alone. I'll head back to the keep."
"You won't go up but you'll go down? That makes no sense," Akoni said, his brows knitting together. "You'll see the height more going down..."
"Getting down is easier, flat ground to look forward to. Up..." Jeffrey blew out a breath and shook his head.
Akoni drummed the fingers of one hand on his knee, his head cocked to the side in thought. "What if we blindfold you?"
"Absolutely not!"
"Hmm, but you wouldn't see the drop then."
"No way. There is no vision of the ocean you can create in my mind that'll let me walk around here without seeing."
"Okay, fine. Would it help if I walk beside you? Either side, on your right to stop you seeing the edge, on your left to give you something beyond rock wall to focus on?"
Jeffrey shook his head.
"Well, we'll have to find a way. I'm not letting you go back on your own. I thought it was clear by now that I can't be without you. If you're going back down, so am I. We'd have to find another way. I still think it'll be easier to go up, though."
"I can't, Akoni," Jeffrey pleaded.
Akoni pursed his lips and lowered his voice. "What if I promise to let you do whatever you want to me when we reach the top? Like fucking me really hard, so hard I'll feel you with every step I take for the next few days."
"Hmm." Jeffrey's lips tugged upwards. "That sounds like a nice promise, but I don't think it's enough to get me there."
"I'm wounded," Akoni mocked, pressing a hand against his heart.
"You'll live." Jeffrey smiled.
"What if I keep talking about the ocean while we walk? Or I'll tell you some really boring things about the nobles at court, funny things that'll make you laugh. Or really, I could talk about any topic you like if it'll help distract you. I'm good at talking nonsense. Quite a useful skill at court. You've no idea the amount of dinners I've sat through with the most boring companions. I've learned to make my own entertainment and, even if I say so myself, I'm exceptionally good at it."
Jeffrey laughed. "How about you tell me about all your shortcomings. That and the promise of a hard fuck might work."
"My-- What?" Akoni cried in outrage. He glanced up at the way ahead of them. "I do not have that many shortcomings."
"Once you start, you may find you do. But if not, you'll just have to be elaborate with your descriptions."
Akoni fixed his gaze on Jeffrey. He was laughing again, a good sign, but his body still held some tension, and he never turned towards the valley. "If I get you to the top, will you promise to forgive me for every one of those shortcomings I'll be elaborating? No more silent treatment, no more anger."
Jeffrey glanced up the mountain, then for the briefest moment towards the valley and turned back to Akoni. "Agreed."
Akoni broke out in a smile and got to his feet. Holding his hands out to Jeffrey, he pulled him up and pressed their bodies close, wrapping his arms around the other man. He leaned in and kissed Jeffrey hard. When they broke apart, Akoni kept one arm around Jeffrey and set them off.
"Where to begin... My biggest failure. I didn't protect the people of Corunia even though I promised I would, and it is my duty as heir of the royal line to protect those living in my realm. I worked hard and I spent so much time planning, but it wasn't enough. I could have done more. Should have. I failed them all, and as sorry as I am, there's no way to make up for what people have lost. Their livelihoods, their homes. Men died because I failed to protect them. My crownsguards, the soldiers, Paul. I don't even know if they are alive or dead. They couldn't have won against the numbers coming out of the city. Whatever happened to them, it's my fault. I should have known better, I should have protected them. Instead, I ran like a coward. I failed them all."
Akoni kept a tight hold on Jeffrey while they walked, half dragging him along at times. The first steps were slow and awkward, then it got a little easier. Jeffrey kept his gaze focused on the path, only occasionally looking up to check their progress and ignoring the valley entirely. Sometimes his hand came up to shield his vision, likely an attempt to block out the view of the drop to the right. Akoni ignored it all, continuing to talk, though it didn't do anything for his confidence. Jeffrey had one arm around Akoni as well, and sometimes his hold tightened or he'd let his thumb stroke random patterns that soothed Akoni. Whether that was the intention or not, Akoni didn't question. He took what comfort he could to ease his growing misery.
Their progress was slow, but at last they crested the top, and the path evened out ahead of them. The rock wall continued to their left, but to their right the drop angled away, leaving a grassy field for a long span, broken in the distance by more rock walls. Jeffrey's pace increased until he was running. He slowed enough to turn and let himself fall back into the grass, laughter bubbling out of him when Akoni joined his side.
"You did it," Akoni said, lying beside Jeffrey, propped up on one elbow.
"I really didn't think I could. Thank you."
Akoni shrugged, the corners of his lips tugging upwards. "Two promises to be kept now."
Jeffrey stopped laughing, though his lips still quirked. He raised one eyebrow in question.
"If I got you up here, you said I'd be forgiven."
"So I did. And you did do a fine job humbling yourself. I guess that means you're forgiven now."
"Excellent." Akoni smiled and leaned closer, his lips inches from Jeffrey's, reaching one hand out to touch Jeffrey's chest. "Then there's the matter of a hard fuck to be had."
"Hmm, and here was me thinking we'd want to make up for some lost ground."
"We are. A whole week worth of missed sex." Akoni swiped his tongue across Jeffrey's lips and nibbled his jaw, loving the feeling of Jeffrey's untrimmed beard. Neither of them had shaved since they'd left the keep. It felt strange and delicious at the same time.
Jeffrey smirked and wrapped one hand in Akoni's hair, tugging him down for a proper kiss. His other hand found Akoni's backside, grabbed it, and pulled him closer.
Akoni trailed his hand down Jeffrey's chest, reached between his legs, and cupped the growing bulge, squeezing enough to draw a moan.
It took mere moments for both of them to be naked, Akoni on his knees, arms and face down in the grass, Jeffrey behind him, thrusting into him in a punishing rhythm, exactly what was needed.
Chapter 23
They crested a mountain ridge after another two days of travelling and arrived in a valley dominated by an enormous lake, stretching from one end of the horizon to the other.
"This is it," Akoni said, though he couldn't have said how he knew.
"There's nothing here," Jeffrey replied, his gaze sweeping across the valley.
A mountain rose in the centre of the lake, forming an island that flattened out at one end. The water glistened in the sunlight, appearing calm and beautiful. Birdsong filled the air, and a light breeze rustled the trees. There were no signs of human habitation.
"They are here." Akoni grinned. He leaned in to peck Jeffrey's cheek, then set off down the slope leading towards the lake. Excitement gripped him, hurrying his steps. It didn't take long for him to reach the water'
s edge. He stilled for a moment, breathing in deeply. By the time Jeffrey joined him, he knew where to go. Taking Jeffrey's hand in his, he set off.
"Shouldn't we...?" Jeffrey said, trying to pull his hand away, only for Akoni to tighten his grip.
"No hiding. You said that."
Jeffrey sighed but said nothing else.
They continued along the water's edge, a thick forest on their other side, growing up the mountain. The trees had trunks as thick as some houses, their crowns reaching far into the sky. A sacred forest, like the one in Corunia, though possibly even older. When the forest ended, they found what they had been looking for.
An unmistakably ancient building sat nestled between the trees. Thick marble columns soared some thirty feet into the air, thick capitols on top, carved with elaborate floral detail, and a square staircase of the same white marble led upwards to the entrance.
Two priestesses walking down the staircase stopped and started, then hurried back into the temple.
"Hmm, are you sure we'll be welcome?" Jeffrey asked.
"Yes," Akoni said and approached the temple, still holding on to Jeffrey's hand.
"How did they ever get the stones for this up here?" Jeffrey ask in astonishment as they walked up the massive stairs.
"With a lot of hardship and suffering probably. I'd rather not think about it."
"Doesn't seem like the best way to honour our goddesses, though, does it?"
"This place was probably built millennia ago. Times were different. But I agree, I expected something more in line with nature to honour her." Akoni spoke quietly, sensing something at the edge of his awareness. They were entering sacred ground, and he tightened his hold on Jeffrey's hand.
A woman stepped out of the temple and towards them. She looked young, but the pendant on her brow marked her as high ranking. It wasn't a flower or a crescent moon as with the high priestesses he knew. Instead, it was a more circular shape. On seeing her, Jeffrey withdrew his hand to make the open-palmed gesture of goodwill towards her. Akoni followed his example.
Ties of Magic (Curse of the Crown Book 2) Page 23