by Sarah Bailey
“We share. I don’t want to be an inconvenience.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair.
“You’re not an inconvenience. What did I say earlier? You need to quit saying stuff like that. Do you think I’d have brought you here and got you a doctor if you were?”
I shifted on my feet, looking at my hands.
“I’m sorry.”
I felt him put his hands on my shoulders.
“Ellie, please, stop apologising.”
“Then sleep in the bed with me and stop being such a gentleman.”
I looked up at him then. His eyes danced with amusement.
“I’m a gentleman, am I?”
“Yes.” When you’re not kissing me or telling me what a good girl I am.
The thought of him saying that sent a shiver down my spine. His nearness affected me. If only I wasn’t so injured. I internally scolded myself for going there. I’d made it clear last night that the two of us weren’t going to work. Nothing had changed since then, had it?
He leant towards me until his mouth brushed up against my ear.
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that if I was you,” he whispered. “I still want to do very ungentlemanly things to you regardless of what you said last night. I think about you on your knees, staring up at me, waiting for my command.”
His hand left my shoulder and ran down my arm. My insides coiled and heat flooded my veins.
“It’s so fucking wrong of me to think of you like that when you’re hurt, but I can’t help it. I’ve never wanted anyone the way I want you. It doesn’t matter if you don’t believe me, it’s the truth.”
His teeth grazed across my earlobe, making me whimper in response.
“You’re not second best to me, sweetheart. You’re first fucking place. I want you mine so much it hurts. If you weren’t in so much pain, I’d bend you over my fucking bed right now and show you.”
My heart pounded in my chest at a million miles an hour. My skin was burning. Every part of me was aching with longing. And it was all very much for him.
“James…”
“I know… I shouldn’t say this shit to you. But you didn’t give me a chance to explain last night. You didn’t let me tell you how fucking special you are. How you make me feel alive. You’re so beautiful, so strong and resilient. You fit so perfectly in my arms.”
I trembled, unable to stop myself reaching for him and holding onto his waist because I felt like I was drowning.
“James…”
“And the things I haven’t wanted to acknowledge about myself, the parts I hated. You drag them out of me. Your nature calls to me, Ellie. You’re so… submissive. I want… no, I need your obedience. Do you understand what I’m telling you?”
My grip tightened and my mouth opened in a silent plea.
“I want you mine. All mine.”
If I wasn’t hurt, I would’ve told him he could lay me out on his bed and do whatever the fuck he wanted because I was about to combust on the spot. But I was in pain and had no idea how to respond to what he’d just said. What I even thought about it all. There were too many things to process.
“James…”
“Yes, sweetheart?”
“I need a shower.”
He went very still for a long moment before he stepped back, releasing me.
“Right… Of course you do.”
I wanted to open my mouth and tell him I just needed time to think about what he said but instead, my lips remained firmly shut. My words were all tangled up inside me. He’d made his intentions very clear though. There was no room left for doubt.
James wanted me and only me.
“Follow me,” he continued, stepping away and walking towards the door.
I trudged out into the hallway with him and into the bathroom which was situated next to his room. It had a separate shower from the bath, which I was glad of. He reached in and flipped the shower on for me.
“Um, there are clean towels there,” he told me, pointing at the shelves in the corner where they were neatly stacked. “I’ll leave you to it.”
I put a hand on his arm, stopping him from leaving.
“I need help getting undressed.”
He looked me up and down.
“Oh… I should’ve realised.”
I shrugged, wincing at the movement as I dropped my hand from his arm. He’d seen me naked and the extent of the bruises so I wasn’t embarrassed. Reaching for me, he tugged my jumper and t-shirt over my head, careful not to aggravate my injuries. My socks and shoes came next, followed by my jeans. His eyes roamed over me as he reached around and undid my bra. Dropping that to the floor, his fingers hooked into the waistband of my underwear. I took a breath as he peeled it off me, leaving me bare before him. His eyes met mine. The heat in them tamped with compassion had my heart racing out of control.
“I should…”
“Don’t go,” I whispered.
“What?”
“I said don’t go.”
I stepped away and walked into the shower. As soon as the spray hit my face and body, I winced because it simultaneously soothed and aggravated my swollen eye, split lip and bruises. Turning around, I found him in the same place, staring at me as if he couldn’t quite believe what I’d said. So I put a hand out to him, trying to show him without words I wanted him… no, needed him here.
He hesitated before stripping out of his own clothes and joining me. Despite the spray, we were staring at each other, our bodies not quite touching. I wasn’t so sore now the painkillers had kicked in.
He reached up and cupped my face with one hand before leaning towards me. He pressed a kiss to my forehead, followed by the cheek on the uninjured side of my face and then he very gently kissed my mouth. My lip stung a little from the contact, but I didn’t care. Not when it was James. Not when I craved his touch.
I whimpered as he kissed me harder. He pulled back, his face stricken.
“I’m sorry, I’m hurting you. Fuck.”
“Please, don’t stop. I…I want you.”
His eyes darkened significantly at my words.
“I don’t want to hurt you further.”
My core throbbed at his closeness. I didn’t care how injured I was any longer. All I could think about was his hands on me.
“Please touch me.”
He dropped his hand from my face and curled both of his around my hips, tugging me closer. His cock pressed against my stomach. My mouth watered and my insides were molten fire.
“You want me to make you come, sweetheart? Is that it?”
“Yes please.”
He leant closer, his nose brushing against mine.
“All over my fingers, hmm?”
“Please. I want to forget about the pain I’m in.”
He kissed me, his mouth gentle again so as not to hurt my lip. His hand left my hip and trailed along my skin until he met my pussy. His fingers dipped between my lips and stroked my clit. I bucked, moaning into his mouth. His eyes glittered when he pulled away.
“Wrap your hand around my cock.”
I did as he said and as a reward, he slipped a finger inside me, his thumb caressing my clit instead.
“Stroke me.”
I started to move my hand up and down his shaft in a steady rhythm. His skin was soft. His cock pulsed in my hand. He wasn’t exactly small either, my fingers just about fit around him.
“That’s it, just like that. Good girl.”
I preened at his praise, the feeling bubbling up inside me and threatening to burst out. Knowing I was pleasing him made me happy in ways I couldn’t describe or explain.
He slid another finger inside me, starting to fuck me with them in earnest now. Even though my chest ached a little as I stroked him, I ignored the pain, focusing on the pleasure he was giving me.
“You have no idea how much I wish I could fuck you right now.”
His blu
e eyes were intent on mine, the heat and fire in them made my heart pound.
“Even though I look like a mess?”
I did. My face was half swollen and my torso littered with bruises.
“You’re always beautiful to me.”
I reached up with my free hand and ran my fingers along his jaw. He leant into my touch, shuddering under me.
“I ache to have your cock inside me.”
He groaned, closing his eyes for a moment. He was about the only man I ever wanted that from. I couldn’t imagine saying such things to anyone else.
“Fuck, I want to, but I can’t.”
A third finger joined the others inside me and his thumb on my clit became more insistent. I whimpered, clutching his shoulder now instead of his face. My chest was burning with pain, but I didn’t care. I stroked him faster, needing him to come with me because I was so close to the edge now.
“James, please.”
“I’ve got you, sweetheart. Come for me.”
His hand on my hip anchored me to him, keeping me upright and it was a good thing because the moment the dam broke, I shuddered, crying out his name as waves of bliss encompassed me. The pain was gone. All I felt was pleasure rushing over every inch of my skin.
“Fuck, you’re so beautiful when you come. I could stare at you all day.”
I didn’t care if he did. His blue eyes burning into my skin like he could see right through me. My fingers dug into his shoulder as I came down. His fingers slipped from me whilst the last pulses faded. My other hand was still on his cock. I resumed stroking, gripping him tighter. He grunted, his hand returning to my other hip as he held me.
He looked up at the ceiling, his eyes closed as the water rushed down his face. His fingers dug into my hips. I could feel him getting closer as his cock jerked in my hand again and again.
“Don’t stop, fuck, you’re such a good girl.”
“I want to make you come.”
His face lowered again, his blue eyes opening and catching mine.
“You want to please me?”
“I do, so much. I need to.”
The look in his eye had me in a tailspin. It was like he knew I was his. He commanded me and I was completely at his mercy. Needing to obey. I liked the feeling. I revelled in it. It fed me. He was right. I was submissive but only for him.
“Keep stroking my cock just like that and you will.”
There was a harshness to his deep voice which made my skin tingle. How could I ever think I could live in a world that didn’t have him and I like this? He said I was his number one. In those moments, I felt the truth of that statement.
He closed his eyes again, grunting as his fingers dug harder into my hips. He cursed as his cock spurted hot, sticky streams all over our stomachs only to have the water wash it away.
When he opened his eyes again, he was smiling. He leant down and kissed me, pulling my hand from his cock.
“Such a good girl,” he murmured against my lips.
And I was utterly lost.
All I want is him. I don’t care about anything else. I need James. He and I feel too right for it to be wrong.
Chapter Nineteen
James
Ellie was fast asleep, her hair fanning across the pillow. Even with one eye swollen shut, she was still so fucking beautiful. I couldn’t believe she was right here with me after everything she said on Saturday. The circumstances were less than desirable, but shit, the way she’d been looking at me in the shower like I was her everything. I couldn’t quite get over it.
After I’d washed her, dried and dressed her yesterday, I made her some tea and toast before putting her to bed. She looked exhausted. My poor girl had been through far too much.
Is she mine?
I had no fucking clue. We hadn’t really talked about it. I made my intentions towards her clear. At least I hoped I had. All the words I’d been meaning to say came out like fucking verbal diarrhoea. And when she told me I wasn’t unworthy of anyone, my heart felt the truth of those words. I’d actually believed her because of the sincerity in her expression and her voice.
This girl. In the months I’d known her, she’d changed my life in ways I hadn’t expected. Forced me to wake up and see that my affection towards my best friend was my crutch. It stopped me getting close to anyone and I liked it that way until I met Ellie. I wanted her to know everything about me. Even the parts I despised.
“Are you watching me?” she asked, startling me out of my thoughts.
Her good eye was open. Her face looked worse this morning, but Williams said it would take a few days for the swelling to go down.
“What if I am?”
“Well, if you want to stare at my horrible bruised face, then who am I to object?”
I leant towards her, kissing her forehead.
“Your face is not horrible. How are you feeling, sweetheart?”
She grimaced.
“Stiff and sore.”
I didn’t have anything else to give her this morning to help with the pain.
“I need to go down to the pharmacy to get your prescription. Will you be okay for ten minutes? I’ll make you breakfast when I get back.”
She reached up, running her fingers across my jaw. Her touch made me shiver. Her affection warmed my fucking heart.
“Yeah… I’ll be okay. I’ve been through worse.”
I knew she had. Didn’t mean I couldn’t take care of her now and make it easier on her whilst she healed. I wanted to. She was mine to protect.
You still need to ask her if she is yours, you know.
I told my brain to shove it. We could have that conversation later.
Giving her time to say no, I lowered my face to hers until our lips brushed. She closed the distance, kissing me. I didn’t want to reopen her split lip or anything, so I kept it light. Ellie wasn’t having any of it though. She wrapped a hand around my head and pulled me closer.
“Ellie, I don’t want to hurt you,” I mumbled against her mouth, attempting to pull back.
“Please… you’re better than any painkiller,” she whimpered.
Well fuck.
“When I get back, I’ll give you anything you want, sweetheart, I promise.”
There was a plea in her eyes when I sat up and looked at her.
“Can I get that in writing?”
I raised an eyebrow.
“You want me to sign my name to a promise to give you anything?”
She smiled, her sky blue eye glinting with mischief.
“Maybe.”
I pointed at her.
“I’m not falling for that trap. How do I know you won’t use it against me in the future?”
“You don’t.”
I shook my head, slipping out of bed and walking over to my cupboards to get dressed.
“Those are supposed to be for promises we know we can keep.”
Grabbing a t-shirt, jeans and socks, I started pulling them on.
“So you’re saying you won’t be able to give me anything I want… I thought I came first to you.”
That made me pause.
“So you were listening yesterday.”
“I heard what you said. I just needed to process.”
I pulled my t-shirt down and turned to her. She was still laying there, the covers pulled up to her chest with an uncertain look in her eyes.
“And have you?”
“I don’t know.”
I nodded slowly, walking over to the bed and sitting down so I could pull my socks on. She could take her time. Rushing into things was never a good idea. I wanted Ellie, but I wouldn’t push her. She had to come to a decision on her own terms.
“I won’t be long,” I said as I stood and grabbed her phone from the bedside table, tossing it to her.
I made sure to pick up her prescription from the coffee table in the living room before I left. By the time I got back, I was laden with shop
ping bags. As usual, I had fuck all in the flat so I nipped into the local shop after checking with Liora what she wanted me to get for dinner later.
After putting everything away, I made tea and brought that, her painkillers and the pastries I’d got for breakfast through into the bedroom on a tray. Ellie was sitting up against the headboard on her phone, which she put down when she heard me come in. I popped the tray down on the bed and sat next to her.
“What’s this?” she asked.
“Breakfast in bed for my invalid patient.”
She batted my shoulder.
“I’m not an invalid.”
“I beg to differ.”
She snagged one of the pastries and bit into it, groaning in delight. I opened up the bag with her painkillers, read the instructions then popped out two pills from one packet and one from another for her to take.
“Hopefully these will make you feel better,” I told her as I dropped them into her hand.
“All of this is making me feel better,” she replied, waving at the food and tea.
We ate in a companionable silence and I took the tray back out into the kitchen when we were done. Ellie was fiddling with the cover when I got back.
“We should talk.”
I sat back on the bed feeling a little tense because whenever someone said that, it usually wasn’t good.
“Okay.”
She didn’t meet my eyes, her hands fisted in her lap around the covers.
“I need to ask you something.”
I waited, but she didn’t speak further.
“You can ask me anything, Ellie, you know that.”
She released the covers and looked away towards the windows.
“Do you still love her?”
I should’ve known that question was coming. It was the one thing I hadn’t really brought up yesterday.
“Are you asking if I’m still in love with her or do I just love her? Those are two very different things.”
“In love with her.”
“Then the answer is no.”
Her head whipped around and she winced at the movement. Her face betrayed her confusion.
“No?”
“No…” I reached out, taking one of her hands. “Let me explain a few things about Avery and me. What happened when we were teenagers wasn’t one-sided. I needed her just as much as she needed me. It was at the time Dante started acting like a dick and leaving me to fend for myself with Dad. Even though we no longer lived with him, he still managed to constantly put me down, and there was this expectation that I would join the company regardless of what I wanted. The only person I had who knew the truth was Avery.”