by Sarah Bailey
The Daniels aren’t the only family to hit the headlines in recent years. Kirkwood’s daughter was publicly linked to the youngest of the Benson siblings after photographs surfaced of them attending the charity gala for the Lizzie Lockhart Foundation together. The Bensons were embroiled in their own scandal after the very public arrest of their father, the fashion mogul, Zachary Benson who was found guilty of murdering his wife and abusing his children.
It went onto talk about how this latest revelation could see us embroiled in further difficulties after what happened with Dad. I sat back, shaking my head.
“What do you want me to do about it? All Ellie did was go to the police, it’s not our fault her father ran.”
Dante shook his head as he paced away.
“We don’t need this shit. The company has had enough bad press.”
So that’s what it was about. The company’s image. Not that Ellie protected us from her father. It wasn’t that Dante didn’t like Ellie, he’d become so obsessed with the company’s success since we took over. It was his drive and determination which turned things around after it all went south with Dad’s arrest.
“And we really didn’t need to be linked to the Daniels. We had enough of that shit because you’re friends with Avery.”
I stiffened at the mention of her name. Avery and I still weren’t on speaking terms and I had no idea how to fix it. I knew he didn’t really blame me for any of this. He was just frustrated. We’d worked tirelessly to get the company to where it was now and bad press was the last thing we needed.
“What do you want me to do, Dante?”
He threw his hands up.
“I don’t fucking know.” He dragged a hand through his hair. “I know it’s not your fault or Ellie’s. She did the right thing, but fuck, we’re in the middle of launching the new collection.”
When we’d taken over, the four of us decided to have a more hands on approach to Bensons. We were involved in every aspect of the business, from design to end product and distribution, the latter being my speciality.
“I know the timing wasn’t ideal, but after her mother came to see us, we weren’t sure what her father would do next.”
He threw himself into the chair in front of my desk and tapped his fingers on the arm.
“How is she?”
“Ellie? Okay, I guess. I think she’s bored being at the flat all the time, but she still doesn’t feel safe going out on her own.”
He nodded slowly.
“Does she know what she wants to do when this is all over?”
I shrugged, rubbing my chin.
“I asked, but she doesn’t know. She liked working in the hotel, but I doubt it’s what she wants to do forever. It’s hard for her, you know, she was kept captive for so long. She feels like big aspirations are beyond her reach.”
I wished I could do more to help her. She still struggled with being close to people and I could hardly blame her for that. She’d only just started to get comfortable with my family.
“Well, she does make pretty damn fucking good cocktails.”
When we’d been around Dante and Liora’s for dinner one night, Ellie had made us all cocktails after dinner. She told me afterwards she felt like part of the family because of how much they’d all appreciated it. Mixing drinks was something she excelled at and enjoyed.
Thinking about that had me remembering something I’d seen a couple of weeks ago. I turned to my laptop and did a quick search, making sure what I had in mind was still viable.
“What’s that look for?” Dante asked, leaning forward in his chair.
“I think I have an idea of what I could do for her, but I’d need your help.”
He raised an eyebrow and I proceeded to explain what I wanted to do. After five minutes, he grinned and told me he’d look into it. This might be absolutely crazy, but for Ellie, I’d do just about anything. Besides, Dante wasn’t the only one Mum left money to. I only used some of it to put the deposit down for my flat.
“You think she’ll be happy?” Dante asked.
I was worried she wouldn’t accept it when I told her, but sometimes you had to take risks.
“I hope so. She deserves it even if she might think she doesn’t. It’s hard giving her stuff because she doesn’t want to feel like she’s taking advantage of me.”
He smiled, shaking his head. I wanted to do this for Ellie and her birthday was coming up so I hoped I could have it all arranged before then.
“She sounds like Liora. Last week she told me if I brought home any more clothes for her, she’d donate my entire wardrobe to charity. Apparently, I’m overly generous and she doesn’t wear half of it.”
I snorted. That sounded like something Liora would do. As much as I knew their relationship was based on dominance and submission, she wasn’t afraid to speak her own mind. She certainly liked to keep Dante on his toes. He probably needed that anyway. Someone to call him out on his bullshit. Brent and Liora didn’t pull any punches with him.
“First world problems.”
That had us both laughing. I didn’t want to ruin the mood, but there was something else I needed to talk to him about. When we’d both calmed down, I levelled my eyes on him.
“Dante…”
“Hmm?”
“I’m going to see Dad.”
He was silent for a long moment. I shifted in my seat, my nerves prickling.
“Why the fuck would you do that?”
I knew he wasn’t going to like this, but I was fed up with my father writing me letters. Honestly, I was just fed up with Zach full stop. Everything he’d done to me and my siblings was unforgivable and it was time he got the message. I wasn’t going to allow him to have any type of control over me any longer. If Ellie could say a big ‘fuck you’ to her parents after what they did, then I sure as hell could tell my father to go fuck himself.
“He’s right. We need a conversation, but it’s just not one he will be expecting.”
“What do you mean?”
I’d admitted to Ellie about his attempt on my life. It was time I told Dante the truth too.
“You remember when Avery disappeared, well during that time Dad threatened my life. If Jen hadn’t walked in, I think he would’ve actually killed me.”
Dante looked incensed, but I continued before he could say anything.
“I don’t want to live my life feeling worthless and like the world’s biggest disappointment because my own father didn’t think me worthy of being his son. I’m going to see him to tell him straight. He’s not going to be my monster under the bed any longer. I’m done.”
He jumped out of his chair and paced away.
“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me?”
“We weren’t exactly on speaking terms back then in case you’d forgotten.”
He shook his head, turning back to me. I could see the guilt in his eyes. He’d done it to protect me and the twins, but I knew he hated the whole thing. Dante had apologised several times for the way he’d acted. I’d long since forgiven him.
“He actually tried to kill you.”
I nodded.
“Fuck. Just when I thought Zach couldn’t sink any fucking lower.” He ran a hand through his hair. “You’re not worthless, you know that, right? Hell, James, I’m proud to be your brother. You’re the least dysfunctional one out of the four of us.”
I snorted again. I was still pretty dysfunctional, just better at hiding it. But Dante had never told me he was proud of me before. That made my heart feel tight.
“Well… thank you.”
“I mean it. Mum would be so proud of you too.”
I coughed a little, feeling my emotions get the better of me. It wasn’t like I hadn’t cried in front of Dante before. He knew what it meant to me to hear him say that. His eyes were so full of compassion and understanding.
“Anyway… enough of this mushy shit. Are you going to see Zach alone?” he asked when
I didn’t respond.
“No, Ellie’s coming with me.”
She’d insisted and to be honest, I wanted her there. She was my rock just as I was hers. I couldn’t live without her and I didn’t want to.
“Good. Well… you let me know how it goes, hmm?”
“Yeah, will do.”
He gave me a nod before picking up his tablet from my desk and striding out of my office. We were still technically supposed to be working and this collection wasn’t going to launch itself. It was time to get back to it.
***
Sitting in the prison visiting room made me antsy. Ellie put a hand on my leg to stop me bouncing my foot impatiently.
“I’m sure he’ll be here in a minute.”
I tapped my hand on the table and she sighed. She knew how nervous I was about seeing him. This whole thing made me feel queasy. It’d been two years since I’d last seen my father. None of us had visited him in prison except for Liora.
“Why did I think this was a good idea?” I muttered.
“We can go if you’re not ready.”
I shook my head. This was something I had to do no matter what. If I didn’t, then it would haunt me for the rest of my life. My father was my demon and I needed to exorcise him.
When he walked in, I froze in place. His hair was greyer, but his eyes were still sharp and the exact same shade as mine. He strode towards the table with confident steps. He was wearing smart grey trousers and a plain white shirt. It didn’t surprise me he’d still managed to look like he’d walked off a runway even in prison. Dad had always only ever worn the best.
“Son,” he said as he reached the table.
“Hello Dad.”
His eyes flicked over to Ellie, appraising her steadily.
“And who is this lovely lady?”
Ellie looked at me, but I kept my gaze on my father.
“My girlfriend, Ellie.”
Dad didn’t put his hand out to her. Instead, he gave her a nod and took a seat opposite us. My skin prickled and my stomach dropped, but I was determined not to let him affect me in the same way he had before.
“You got my letters then.”
“I did.”
He rested his elbows on the table and leant forward a little.
“You came here to talk then, just like I asked.”
I took a breath. It was now or never. Ellie’s hand on my thigh kept me grounded. Having her here, supporting me, was my incentive to be the best version of myself. The one who wouldn’t let the man in front of him make him feel like shit any longer.
“No, Dad. I came here to tell you something.”
He leant back in his chair, his eyes roaming over my face.
“Go on then.”
The words I wanted to say whirled around in my brain. So many times I’d wished I could tell him how I really felt. How much I hated him. How he’d ruined me. But there was no point in saying those things. What I could do was make sure he understood he wasn’t in control of us any longer.
“You need to stop writing to me. In fact, you need to stop trying to contact any of us full stop. Did you forget we all helped put you here? None of us are interested in having you in our lives. Not after what you did to Mum. Not after what you did to Dante and the twins and especially not after what you’ve done to me.”
Ellie squeezed my thigh, knowing how difficult it was for me to say these things to my father.
“I don’t really care what you have to say. We’re fine without you. The company is fine without you. We don’t need you in our lives.”
The silence which followed my words weighed heavily on my chest. Dad just looked at me and his gaze penetrated through all my walls as usual. I felt like the small boy who was terrified of his father all over again. The one who hid when he heard arguing and shouting between his parents. Who saw all the bruises on his mother and brother no matter how hard they tried to hide them. That little boy was scared shitless the same thing would happen to him. And it had.
But that little boy wasn’t me any longer. I was a grown man. I had a future to build with the woman beside me and my father wasn’t going to get in the way of that.
“Did your brother put you up to this?”
I frowned. Why would he think Dante sent me?
“No. Dante didn’t want me visiting you.”
My dad shook his head, his eyes hardening.
“Do you think your little speech has me cowering in my shoes?”
I resisted the urge to flinch. I was stronger than this. His words weren’t going to bring me down.
“No. I’m asking you to leave us alone because it’s the right thing to do. Not that you even know what the right thing is. The only good thing you ever did was plead guilty.”
He scoffed, rolling his eyes.
“Well, your brother’s little girlfriend gave me something in exchange.”
“You mean his wife.”
Dad raised his eyebrow, surprise flittering across his features.
“He married the Stewart girl?”
“Yes, Dad. He loves her.”
And she gave him what he needed in return. Someone who accepted him just the way he was. Who loved him fiercely and would do anything to protect him. Even visit the man who haunted his entire existence and ask him to plead guilty to save his children the pain of a trial. The man who’d put her in Dante’s path in the first place and threatened her at every turn. I couldn’t ask for a better woman for my brother. One so giving and always tried to see the best in those around her. Liora was all that and more.
Dad would never understand that though. He’d never see what Liora had done for Dante.
“And none of you thought to inform me that my eldest son was getting married?”
Is he for real?
“You lost the right to know anything about our lives. You took Mum away from us, ruined the twins’ lives, blackmailed Dante and almost killed me. Do you really think you deserve anything from us?”
His eyes narrowed to slits, but for once, it didn’t fill me with terror. He couldn’t do anything to me in here. There were prison guards watching us and even if there weren’t, I wouldn’t let him do anything to me or Ellie. I’d sworn to protect her with my life if it came down to it.
“You are still my children.”
“You might have had a hand in creating us but you’re not our father. A real father wouldn’t abuse his kids. A real father would treat his children with the respect they deserve and not talk down to them or make them feel worthless.”
He was about to open his mouth again but I put my hand up. If he thought I was going to sit here and listen to any more of his bullshit, he had another think coming.
“I’m not finished. My whole life I tried so hard to please you even though you constantly told me how disappointed you were in me. Well, Dad, guess what? I don’t give a shit if you’re disappointed in me or not. Your opinion doesn’t matter. Your approval is meaningless. The only reason I’m here is so you get it in your head. I do not need anything from you.”
I stood up abruptly, pushing my chair back and stepping away from the table. I put my hand out to Ellie and she jumped up, taking it and holding it tightly.
“If anything, Dad, you should be fucking honoured to have me, Dante and the twins as your children. It’s a shame you don’t get to see how far we’ve come and the wonderful people we have in our lives. Your daughter in law has made Dante into a better man and this girl right here, she’s the light of my life. She taught me how to stand up for myself. I hope you’re happy in here because all you’ve got is a lifetime of regrets to dwell on.”
Even though he looked thunderous, I didn’t care. I had Ellie by my side. My relationship with Dante was back on track and even my sisters and I had gotten that much closer.
“Goodbye Dad. This is the last time you’ll ever see me.”
I didn’t give him a chance to speak. I turned away, pulling Ellie wi
th me.
“James, don’t walk away from me,” I heard his voice behind us but I ignored him.
Ellie’s hand tightened in mine. I glanced at her. She was smiling and in that moment, I knew I’d done the right thing coming here and telling him those things.
“James!”
I heard something crashing behind us, but we were almost at the door by that time.
“Benson, you need to settle down,” came another voice.
“He can’t just leave like that,” my father shouted.
“I won’t tell you again, Benson. Settle down.”
Ellie and I walked out of the visitor room and the voices were drowned out as the door shut behind us. Neither of us spoke as we went through the necessary procedures to leave the prison. I was smiling to myself the whole time. I’d never walked away from my father before. The freedom I felt warmed me from the inside out. Being weighed down by the burden that was my father had kept me from truly being able to move on.
When we were both sat in my car, Ellie turned to me, putting her hand on my arm.
“I’m so proud of you. I wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to come here, but I see now you needed this.”
I didn’t say anything, merely wrapped my hand around her neck and dragged her closer, pressing my lips to hers. The kiss wasn’t remotely gentle. It was all lips, tongues and hands grasping each other. An all-consuming kiss which felt like it went on forever until we both drew apart, breathing heavily.
“What was that for?” she whispered, putting her fingers to her swollen lips.
“For being there when I needed you the most. Fuck, Ellie, I can’t believe I just did that. I said all those things to him and he got so mad, but I just walked away. I actually walked away.”
She smiled, cupping my cheek.
“You did… and it was really, really hot,” she told me, whispering the last part.
I raised an eyebrow.
“It was?”
She nodded vigorously. The look in her eye told me I needed to get her back to the flat as soon as possible. And fuck if it didn’t make my cock harden immediately.
“Yeah, I’ve never seen you quite that assertive before. It shouldn’t have turned me on because of where we were, but it did.”