Benson Siblings Series: A Dark Romance Boxset

by Sarah Bailey

  “I will… and Jensen?”

  “Yes?”

  “Can you try to be civil with Ben?”

  “I’m not the one who won’t let go of what happened.”

  “I know, but for the kid’s sake.”

  “I’m not going to start an argument at my niece’s birthday party.”

  And I wasn’t. I always tried not to let tempers flare when Josh and Sadie were around.

  “I’ll see you on Saturday. It’s at two o’clock, don’t be late.”

  She hung up before I could reply. I sat back, wanting to throw my phone across the room. That would be a stupid idea. Of course, I wanted to see Sadie and Josh, but my family? Not so much. Not after yesterday.

  I rubbed my face. Saturday was going to be a pain in the arse, but maybe it would distract me from thoughts of a certain dark haired beauty.

  ***

  Skye answered the door when I rang the bell thankfully. She smiled at me and stepped back.

  “I’m glad you’re here.”

  “Yes, well… I wasn’t going to disappoint Sadie.”

  I handed her the two gift bags I’d brought. Skye could give Josh his gifts another time. We walked into the living room which was full of parents. I immediately heard a little voice shouting, “Uncle JenJen,” before a small dark haired child clung to my leg, staring up at me with bright green eyes which matched my own.

  “Hello squirt. I heard it’s your birthday.”

  She put her hands up and I picked her up, settling her on my hip. She grinned at me, placing her hands on my cheeks and squishing them.

  “Mummy and Daddy got me a spaceship.”

  “They did? Do you want to show me?”

  She nodded, pulling her hands back and pointing towards the dining room. I noticed Skye smiling as I carried her daughter away. For the next ten minutes, I sat surrounded by her new toys whilst she told me about each one. There were other kids around but Sadie didn’t pay much attention to them, content just to sit and talk to me. I knew I should spend more time with her, but Ben made it difficult.

  Her little hands grasped a book she’d been given as she spoke animatedly about the words she’d been learning with Mummy. She was such a bright kid even though she was only three. So full of life. It gave me an uncomfortable feeling in my chest, but I quickly shoved it away. Now was not the time for those types of reminders.

  “Jensen.”

  I looked up, finding Ben staring down at me with no small amount of animosity in his expression. I deserved that really.

  “Hello Ben.”

  “Daddy! Uncle JenJen is here,” Sadie piped up, grinning up at her father.

  “Yes, sweetie, I see that…” He looked at me. “Can we have a word?”

  I nodded before looking at my niece.

  “Daddy and I need to have a little chat, okay? Why don’t you find your brother?”

  She launched herself at me, giving me a squeeze.

  “I lub you, Uncle JenJen.”

  “Love you too, squirt.”

  I set her back on her feet and she ran off as I got to mine. I followed Ben into the kitchen where it was quieter, wondering what he wanted since he’d made it pretty clear how he felt earlier in the week.

  “Look, I appreciate you coming for the kids,” he started. “But that doesn’t mean we’re okay.”

  “I know that. I wouldn’t be here if your daughter didn’t want to see me.”

  He rubbed the back of his neck.

  “Mum and Dad’s fortieth wedding anniversary is coming up. Skye and I want to throw them a party.”

  “Okay…”

  “So you should be there.”

  Well, it wasn’t as if I’d miss it. They were still my parents even if we had issues with each other.

  “Just let me know the time and place. I’ll make sure I’m available.”

  He was silent for a long moment.

  “It’s hard for me to see you with her.”

  He was talking about Sadie. There wasn’t much I could say about that. I knew why he felt that way and honestly, it was hard for me too. But she was my niece and I’d do anything for her. We both had to just deal with that.

  “I know it doesn’t mean much to you, but I’d never do anything to put her in harm’s way.”

  He didn’t say a word, merely gave me a hard look.

  “Ben, your parents are here,” Skye called from the living room.

  “Yeah, just coming,” he called back.

  “I should go say hi to Mum and Dad,” I said, needing to be away from the tense atmosphere between us before one of us said something we shouldn’t.

  There wasn’t a day which went by where I didn’t think about what happened all those years ago. Probably why I didn’t sleep. That’s when the nightmares hit. Something I’d never been able to shake. Ironic really given what I did. A therapist who probably needed therapy himself.

  What a fucking joke.

  Ben didn’t comment as I disappeared back into the living room, spying my parents next to Skye. I sauntered over to them. Dad gave me a slap on the back and I kissed Mum’s cheek.

  “I see you actually showed up,” she said.

  I didn’t miss the disapproving tone in her voice and resisted the urge to sigh. I fucking hated this.

  “I’m not heartless, Mum,” I muttered.

  Her hazel eyes flashed, but she said nothing further. Ben and I looked more like our father, although Ben’s hair was darker than mine. The three of us had matching green eyes and a slight wave to our hair.

  “How’s work?” Dad asked.

  The mention of work had my mind immediately turning to a certain dark haired beauty I should definitely not be thinking about. Not that it stopped me. She’d been in my thoughts ever since it happened and it wasn’t likely she’d be leaving them any time soon.

  “It’s fine. My waiting list is growing so I’m looking to hire another counsellor to manage the workload.”

  There were three of us currently, but it wasn’t enough. With mental health issues soaring, it was hardly surprising there’d been an increase in demand, especially with the long waiting lists. More and more people were willing to go private.

  “I’m sure you’ll find someone in no time. Any more famous types gracing your offices?”

  “You know I can’t talk about my clients, Dad.”

  He smiled to let me know he was joking. Talking about my job was the only safe topic with my parents other than my niece and nephew. Dad was the only one who made any sort of effort with me, but I knew how difficult it was for him. For all of them really. I wished things were different. Wished the past could be rewritten.

  There was a tug on my trousers. I looked down to find Josh standing there with a football in his hand.

  “Uncle Jensen.”

  “Hey Josh, what do you have there?”

  “Football.”

  He was wearing a blue football shirt. I knew Ben couldn’t have been too happy about that since he preferred rugby.

  “Come play?”

  I ruffled his hair, smiling.

  “Okay, but outside, yeah?”

  He nodded. I gave Mum and Dad a cursory glance. She had a face like thunder but Dad was smiling. I really tried to be a good uncle to Josh and Sadie, but apparently, it wasn’t enough for her. Not wanting to dwell on my mother’s opinion of me further, I took Josh outside after putting his coat and shoes on since it was cold. To my utter annoyance, we weren’t the only ones out there. I’d promised Skye I’d be civil today and that’s what I was going to do.

  “Aiden,” I ground out.

  “Jensen.”

  Josh tugged on my sleeve. I looked down at him.

  “Uncle A play.”

  Could this day get any worse?

  “Yes, Uncle Aiden can play too, can’t he?”

  I looked at Aiden who shrugged. Talking to him was like pulling teeth. It wasn’t like he was
around when everything went down, but Ben and him were close and it pissed me off. There’d been a time when Ben looked up to me. Not any longer. Probably never again.

  For the next ten minutes, the three of us kicked the football around. Josh looked happy so I couldn’t really begrudge him. We were only interrupted when a dark haired woman carrying a little girl came out and put her hand on Aiden’s arm.

  “Afie is getting grumpy,” she said. “I think she wants you.”

  Then her eyes fell on me and she frowned. Aiden must’ve noticed whilst he took the little girl from her.

  “Avery, this is Jensen, Ben’s older brother. Jensen, this is my wife, Avery and our daughter, Afie,” he said by way of introduction.

  Avery stepped forward and shook my hand.

  “Uh, it’s nice to meet you. I didn’t know Ben had a brother.”

  Josh crashed into Avery’s legs and put his hands up to her. She picked him up and nuzzled her nose against his.

  “Aunty A!”

  “How’s my little man?”

  “Daddy got me a football.”

  “Did he? Well, you’re looking very smart in your kit.”

  She looked over at me with a smile as she put Josh down and he ran back over to his football.

  “Ben and I… don’t always see eye to eye,” I said with a shrug.

  I hoped she didn’t expect me to elaborate further. Aiden could fill her in on the finer details if he chose to. It wasn’t something we discussed as a family in general.

  “Well, I’m sure you have your reasons. So now I think I know who Uncle JenJen is.”

  I smiled. I honestly never wanted her to stop calling me that. It was special to me I guess.

  “She can’t say Jensen.”

  “It’s cute. Afie can’t really say anything yet, but she babbles at us a lot.”

  “Do you two want more kids?”

  She shrugged, eying Aiden with a wary expression.

  “I think that might be a conversation for a later date.”

  “Uncle Jensen!” Josh shouted, kicking the ball in my direction.

  I shook my head, catching it on my foot.

  “Sorry, duty calls,” I said to Avery before chasing off after my nephew with the ball.

  I wasn’t sure what to make of Aiden’s wife. She certainly didn’t seem like the type of girl who would ever be involved with him, but then again, what did I really know about him? He’d always been closed off, even when he spent Christmases with our family because he didn’t have his own any longer. That seemed to have changed in the past couple of years since Ben had Josh and Sadie, but I was still the screw-up older brother. I suppose you could call me the black sheep of the family despite the fact I was the more successful one.

  There was no point dwelling on it all. No matter what I tried to do to make it better, I always ended up making it so much worse. Perhaps I should stop trying. Maybe that’d be better than dealing with constant bullshit arguments between us. Maybe I should stop worrying about all the shit that was bothering me altogether. It had served me well in the past to just do whatever the hell I wanted.

  And what I really wanted.

  What I desperately craved.

  Was a little dark haired beauty I had no business wanting at all.

  Chapter Four

  Fiona

  I didn’t want to go through with this. Not one bit. My skin itched as I walked into his office. I’d been high strung all week. Honestly, things at work were still insane after our recent launch. We hadn’t anticipated the demand so it was all hands on deck with suppliers and distributors. And as much as knocking off early sounded amazing, the thought of seeing and talking to Mr Green Eyes again gave me the jitters.

  As soon as his eyes met mine, my palms began to sweat. He looked drool worthy with his hair neatly swept to the side. Today he was wearing a light grey three-piece suit that was a Tom Ford if I wasn’t mistaken. I knew far more about men’s brands and fashion than I did women’s, which was more Jen’s area of expertise.

  She told me her session yesterday was enlightening, whatever that meant. This was one of the things we couldn’t do together. We might be twins but we were still our own people with our own separate issues to address. So we weren’t going to talk about our experiences in therapy, which I was quite glad about because she could never discover I’d had sex with Doctor Andrews.

  “Um, hi,” I said when he didn’t speak.

  What’s wrong with me? When we’d met in the bar, I’d been my usual confident self, but now, I was barely able to talk to him without wanting the ground to swallow me up.

  “Hello Fiona.”

  My legs felt like jelly the instant my name left his lips. His voice had that dark, sultry undertone to it. Needing to take a seat before I fell to my knees in front of him, I stiffly walked over to the sofa and plonked myself down on it. The receptionist, Tracy, had taken my coat when I’d arrived so I was just here in my skirt, which was probably reminding him of the one I wore that night in the bar, and a white and black striped blouse.

  He walked over to his armchair and sat down, but not before unbuttoning his suit jacket first. My eyes were on his hands, watching his movements with rapt interest like the idiot I was. As I hadn’t really been listening during the session with Jen, I wasn’t sure how this was supposed to go although I’m sure he’d explained it.

  “You know what I like? When a woman is struggling to breathe right before she explodes all over my dick.”

  I told my brain to stuff it because bringing up his words from that night wasn’t helping me at all. I could hear his voice saying it over and over again in my ear. To say it was distracting was the understatement of the century. It was driving me crazy. I wanted him to whisper in my ear again. Call me little one after he bent me over his desk and pounded me with his perfect cock, which I hadn’t even seen, but I’d certainly felt.

  I cleared my throat, needing to fill the silence so maybe my brain would stop conjuring up thoughts of him and me in inappropriate positions. Like hitching my skirt up, straddling him in his armchair, unzipping his trousers and riding his cock.

  Not helping! Not helping at all! Shit!

  I’d never been one to have vivid fantasies about a man, but hell, Mr Green Eyes had got under my skin in a way I couldn’t say I was entirely comfortable with.

  “I… don’t know how this is meant to work,” I said, looking anywhere but him.

  “As this is our first session, I usually start by asking clients what they want to talk about. Why they’re here and such things like that. It allows me to structure further sessions for you. Everyone is different.”

  He’d lost that sultry note to his voice and I was a little disappointed. So he wasn’t going to address the fact we’d had sex. I’d hoped by now I would’ve forgotten about that night, but my body and brain had other ideas.

  “I don’t really want to talk about my dad.”

  “You don’t have to if you’re not ready.”

  Would I ever be ready to talk about that day? Jen and I never discussed it properly after we’d told Dante the truth. Almost as if we had a silent agreement never to bring it up again. I’m not sure it helped in the long run.

  I sighed, looking down at my hands. There was something I should address, but it made me nervous talking about it to him because he was also treating my sister. I put those doubts aside and dived in headfirst. He wouldn’t discuss what she’d said to me and vice versa. I had to trust in the process I guess.

  “I think Jen and I are too co-dependent on each other.”

  “In what way?”

  I still couldn’t bring myself to meet his eyes but sitting bolt upright on the sofa wasn’t helping me either.

  “Can I make myself comfortable?”

  “Of course.”

  I slipped off my black heels and tucked my feet up on the sofa, grabbing one of the throw pillows and holding it to my chest as I settled back aga
inst the cushions. It was a habit of mine and Jen’s. I hoped this was okay, but he didn’t say anything so I could only assume it was.

  “After what happened with Dad, Jen and I didn’t really talk to anyone for months and if we did, it was only to Dante and James. I’ve since learnt the reason Dad did that to us was to get back at Dante for taking us away from him, which is… sick, but my dad has no morals.”

  I’d said I didn’t want to talk about Dad, but the things he did were so tangled up in my life it was hard to discuss anything without bringing him up.

  “We relied heavily on each other and Dante… like emotionally I mean. And as we got older, it became clear having relationships with the…” I finally looked up at him, “opposite sex would be difficult for us.”

  His lip twitched at the mention of the word sex. I don’t know why I’d put it like that. I could’ve said men, but I wanted a reaction out of him. To see if he was just as affected by that night as I was.

  “I have all sorts of triggers as does Jen. Sometimes we can deal with it together, but more often than not, it’s Dante we turn to. One guy I dated just couldn’t understand why I went running to Jen when I was upset. It feels like the older we’ve got, the more ingrained the habit of relying on each other has become. I think that’s why Dante wanted us to do this. He’s married now and, well, Liora understands, but he doesn’t appreciate phone calls in the middle of the night when Jen’s had a nightmare and I can’t calm her down.”

  My fingers dug into the pillow in my lap as I spoke. He might not have realised it, but when I mentioned the guy I’d dated, his eyes darkened and his lip curled into a sneer as if the thought of me being with someone else pissed him off.

  “I don’t think my relationship with my sister or reliance on Dante is particularly healthy.”

  I bit my lip as he looked at me, his green eyes assessing everything. At least it felt that way. Like he was watching my movements as if they would tell him everything he needed to know.

  “What makes you say that?”

  I opened my mouth to speak but then I shut it again. Looking down, I fidgeted with the pillow and found myself unable to keep still. Shoving the pillow away from me, I stood up and paced the room, feeling the soft light grey rug in front of the sofa beneath my bare feet.