by Sarah Bailey
The only thing I could do was stare at her. Fiona had come a long way from the girl I’d shoved up against the bathroom sink and fucked in Frankie’s. She understood darkness and how the world was never black and white. Sometimes broken people did stupid things to cope with the emotional turmoil inside them. It’s why I’d become a therapist. So I could help people like Hailey and people like me get better.
“I promise I’ll never leave you again. I’m not going to put other people’s concerns and disapproval above my own happiness. You told me to own who I am and what I want. Well… I want you. I know I’m going to hurt Jen and the fallout will push me to my limits, but I’m prepared to go through all of that if it means you and I are together.”
There are only so many defining moments in your life. This was one of them for me. Having Fiona tell me she’d go through hell and back to stand by my side.
I dropped my hand from her chest and instead, picked her up, forcing her to wrap her legs around my waist and loop her arms around my shoulders. I carried her over to the bed and set us down on it, me in between her legs as she stared up at me. Stroking her hair back from her face, I smiled.
“You’re it for me. My lifeline. My heart and my soul. I love you, little one.”
Chapter Twenty Four
Fiona
A warm body was enveloping me when I woke up. It was dark outside, the only light streaming in through the gap in the curtains was the moon. It looked like I’d slept the afternoon away. Having had little sleep for the past two weeks, I needed it. And it seemed Jensen did too, judging by the peaceful look on his face as he held me close in his sleep.
I felt at home here, locked in his embrace. After he’d told me he loved me again, he’d tugged off his jeans and curled up with me under the covers. I think both of us were too tired to deal with the pulsing desire between us. I’d drifted off quickly with my hand on his heart, the soft thudding against my palm lulling me to sleep.
I’d had a lot of time to think over the past two weeks. To re-evaluate my life and my choices. For so long I’d lived just to protect my sister. To be the strong one. I hadn’t really been living for myself. It’d only been when I met Jensen that I’d finally gone after what I wanted. I’d fallen hard and fast, but that was okay because Jensen made everything feel right. He made sense to me. Us being together gave me a new lease of life.
Then I’d totally fucked it up. My need to protect Jen and make sure Dante didn’t ruin Jensen made me pull away entirely. Too scared of the consequences of my actions. I’d been stupid and a coward. Jensen had come for me anyway. He’d forgiven me. And he loved me. So it was time I stood up for me. For us. Even if it meant hurting my sister. I had to believe she’d understand and come around eventually. That she’d want me to be happy.
There was a quiet knock at the door. Not wanting to wake Jensen, I kissed his chest and carefully extracted myself from his arms. Pulling on a t-shirt and shorts, I walked over to the door. Jen had brought some clothes over for me last week when they all realised I wasn’t leaving this room any time soon.
I opened the door, finding Liora outside with a tense expression on her face. I stepped out and shut the door behind me.
“Dante is home… and Jen is here too.”
My heart sank.
“Do they know Jensen is here?”
“Dante does. I told Jen not to disturb you sleeping. You were sleeping, right?”
I felt my face grow hot.
“Yes! He’s exhausted. He cancelled all his appointments this week because he’s not been sleeping. I blame myself for that.”
She put a hand on my arm.
“Hey, none of that. I’m pretty sure that man is head over heels in love with you and he wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t the case.”
I gave her a smile and shrugged. He’d told me he was but I wasn’t about to say it out loud to Liora. It was between me and him after all.
“Is Dante mad?”
“No. Your brother realises you’re an adult and can make your own decisions. I may have helped him come to that conclusion.” Liora really had Dante wrapped around her little finger. “What do you want to do, Fi?”
I looked down the hallway at the living room door. It would be a decision I’d have to make with Jensen, but it was high time we came clean to my sister. I’d just have to bite the bullet and be brave. Fight for my happiness and my man.
“I think it’s time I told Jen the truth.”
“You sure?”
“Let me talk to Jensen first, but I’m pretty sure I need to do this now. Keeping secrets has done nothing but cause issues. Jen deserves to know. If she hates me for it, then so be it. I love Jen, but Jensen is my forever.”
Liora reached out and enveloped me in a hug.
“I’m proud of you for sticking up for what you want and I know Dante is too.”
“You sure?”
“I know he’s not very good at expressing himself. He just wants what’s best for you. Besides, I think deep down he’s happy someone else is looking out for you, especially with the baby on the way.”
I pulled away and gave her a smile. Liora was always so calm and collected. She never really let anything fluster her except when it came to Dante’s wellbeing. It was clear as day how much she adored my brother and how perfectly matched the two of them were.
“You know your son is going to grow up completely spoilt by his daddy and his aunties, right? Not so sure about his uncle, you know how terrible James is with kids.”
Liora rolled her eyes and pushed me towards the bedroom door.
“Don’t remind me.”
I grinned and slipped back into the room. I crawled onto the bed and leant over Jensen, kissing his cheek.
“Wake up sleepyhead,” I murmured.
He grunted and batted me away. I smoothed down his mussed hair.
“Come on old man, it’s time to get up.”
“Who are you calling old?” he grumbled, opening one eye to look at me.
“Hmm, well I think I’m calling you old.”
I grinned which had him opening both eyes and scowling at me. I found myself flipped onto my back with him towering over me the next moment.
“Do you want to repeat that?”
“Old man,” I whispered.
I could see he was holding back a smile as he tried to keep a straight face. He took both my hands and pinned them above my head with one of his.
“Do you know what happens to bad girls, little one?”
I shook my head even though I knew the answer to that question. His other hand trailed along my face and down my neck. Jensen was going to punish me for that comment, but I wasn’t quite sure what type of punishment he’d dish out.
“They get tickled.”
He attacked then, his fingers dancing across my armpit and causing me to squeal and buck against him. My hands strained against his as I tried to get away from him.
“Stop it,” I shouted, my laughter ringing through the room. “Oh my god, Jensen, please! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it.”
He let go of my hands only to use his to tickle both my sides, making it ten times worse. I tried to grab his hands but he was too fast for me. I was practically screaming and kicking my legs underneath him because it was too much.
“Please, stop. I can’t take it. I’m sorry! You’re not old at all.”
His verdant eyes were bright with amusement and joy as he continued his relentless attack on my sides until my chest hurt from laughing and I could hardly breathe.
“Please!”
He finally stopped, flopping down next to me as I rubbed my sides and tried to catch my breath.
“You don’t play fair,” I wheezed.
“Maybe you’ll think twice before you call me old again.”
There was no way in hell I was saying it again after that.
“I think you might need to prove to me just how young you are.”
&n
bsp; He looked over at me with a raised eyebrow.
“Is that a challenge, Miss Benson?”
As much as I’d have loved to let him pin me down and show me exactly how much stamina he had, I was aware we had to go deal with the issue of my sister. I sighed and sat up.
“I wish it was. Jen is here.”
He reached over and stroked my side. I looked down at him, finding his eyes full of concern.
“What do you want to do?”
“I want to tell her the truth. She deserves that much.”
No more lies or secrets.
“Do you want to do it together?”
I nodded, taking his hand and running my thumb over his palm.
“I need you there. She’s going to be mad and hurt. She’ll say things she doesn’t mean and it’ll be hell, but I can’t hide who you are to me any longer. I meant what I said earlier, I love you and I’m not letting anyone else stand in the way of us. Being away from you for the past two weeks made me miserable.” I leant down and pressed my forehead against his, staring into his beautiful green eyes. “You’re worth the hardship and pain I’m about to go through.”
“Little one…”
“I love you, okay? I love you so much I can’t breathe sometimes. You’re my forever.”
He cupped my face with both hands and kissed me deeply. When he released me, he was smiling.
“You’re my forever too,” he whispered.
We got dressed silently, pressing small touches to each other every moment we had, like reassuring ourselves this was okay and we could do this. Before we left the bedroom, he held me against his chest, told me how much he loved me and that he would be here no matter what happened with Jen.
He grasped my hand tightly as I opened the door and we stepped out. We walked along the corridor to the living room door which was ajar. I could hear voices within and I knew Liora had gathered Dante and Jen in there. I took a deep breath and pushed the door open.
When Jensen and I walked in, all conversation stopped. The three of them looked up. Liora smiled. Dante’s expression was neutral. And Jen’s eyes went wide as they travelled over the both of us until they reached our entwined fingers.
“Jen—”
“Why is he here?” she interrupted.
I flinched. Jensen squeezed my fingers. The little gesture gave me strength.
“Jen… Jensen and I are together.”
She looked between us, her eyes still wide as if she couldn’t understand what I’d just said to her.
“Wh…What?”
“This is my boyfriend. I know I should’ve told you before.”
She got up from the sofa, shaking her head as she took a step back.
“Are… are you serious right now, Fi? You’re not playing some elaborate joke on me or anything because it’s not funny if you are.”
I shook my head. I’d never do that to my sister even though we’d always got into mischief our whole lives. This was something entirely different.
“No. It’s not a joke. We’re serious about each other.”
Jen looked at Dante and Liora and when she noticed neither of them looked put out, she put a hand to her mouth, backing away further.
“You two knew about this?”
“Yes,” Dante said, his tone clipped.
“And you didn’t think to tell me?”
“It wasn’t my place to say anything since they broke up the day I found out.”
Jen was shaking her head and moving away from them as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“What do you mean they broke up? Someone explain to me what the hell is happening right now.” She swung around, her eyes blazing as they landed on Jensen and me. “Tell me this is a joke, please, Fi.”
Jensen looked at me. I gave him a nod as if to say go ahead. He turned back to Jen and I could see his therapist mask come down.
“It’s not a joke, Jennifer. I know this is hard to understand, but I assure you, this has nothing to do with yours or her therapy and treatment.”
She gave him a pleading look.
“My sister,” she whispered. “You and my sister.”
“Jen…” I started, but then stop when I saw anger flashing in her narrowed eyes. It wasn’t directed at me though, no, it was directed solely at Jensen.
“Did you lure my sister into bed? Is that what this is about? What the hell is wrong with you?”
It didn’t matter that Jen was my sister, I wasn’t allowing anyone to talk to Jensen like that. Nor would I allow anyone to think he’d taken advantage of me. I didn’t see it that way. I stepped forward, putting my free hand up.
“No, Jen, it wasn’t like that. You remember I told you about what happened in Frankie’s, right? And then I was acting weird when we went to therapy for the first time the next day.”
Her eyes widened again as if she seemed to comprehend what I was trying to say.
“Wait, what? That was him? What the fuck, Fi? Why the hell didn’t you tell me at the time?”
I dropped Jensen’s hand and took another step towards her. My heart was fracturing in my chest at the clear disbelief and disappointment written all over her face.
“How could I? I thought it was just a onetime thing with a random stranger. I didn’t even know his name and then suddenly I’m faced with the fact that it’s my therapist. How do you think I felt?”
She took a step towards me, shaking her head.
“We tell each other everything. Everything, Fi.”
Everything else seemed to fall away and it just felt like it was me and Jen in the room.
“I was embarrassed! I didn’t know what to say, think or feel about what happened. It was never meant to be anything.”
“Then how did you get to this?” She waved at me. “Did you just decide oh well, we’ve fucked once, let’s just keep at it? Did you even have sessions or were the two of you just fucking the whole time?”
I flinched. Did Jen really believe I’d do that? That Jensen wouldn’t be professional in his sessions? I mean yes, it had happened once, but then we’d agreed never to have sex in his office again. And we stuck to that.
“No, it was never like that. We had regular sessions like you, but we saw each other at other times when it became obvious there was something more here. It doesn’t matter anyway since I quit therapy three weeks ago when it became serious.”
So I didn’t really want to go into the finer details of how we’d ended up together. I hoped this would be enough for her to see Jensen and I never meant for it to happen. It just did.
“Did you two talk about me behind my back? Did he tell you what I told him?”
“What? No, of course not. I don’t know anything other than what you told me.”
“How can I believe that when you’ve been lying to me for months.”
I shook my head.
“I wasn’t lying to you, I just omitted the truth. There’s a difference. I’m sorry, Jen. We didn’t do this to hurt you.”
She threw her hands up as if exasperated with me.
“Then why didn’t you tell me!”
“You told me how well you were doing, how much Jensen was helping you and I didn’t want to ruin that for you. I didn’t want to disrupt your treatment by telling you we were together because I knew this would happen. I knew you’d get upset with us. I wanted you to get better for your sake because you needed it more than me.”
She strode towards me and pointed a finger in my chest.
“You’re damn fucking right I’m upset. You lied. How can I ever trust anything either of you tell me? Huh? How?”
I took her hand and held it tightly in my own.
“I’m your twin and I love you. I never wanted to hurt you.” Her eyes filled with tears and I couldn’t take it. “Jen…”
“How could you do this to me? I trusted you. I trusted him too. You’ve broken that, both of you.”
“I’m
sorry,” I whispered. “I couldn’t help it. Any of it. You don’t understand. I love him.”
Tears slipped down her cheeks.
“You do?”
“Yes, and he loves me. The reason I’ve not got out of bed for two weeks is because I ended it so Dante wouldn’t destroy his career and you could continue getting treatment. But I can’t live without him. I can’t, Jen.” Tears started falling down my face too. “I can’t sacrifice my happiness for other people. I won’t do that anymore. After everything, don’t I deserve that much? Don’t I deserve to be happy?”
Jen’s tears fell faster. I felt helpless. My twin looked at me with conflicted and miserable eyes.
“Of course you deserve to be happy,” she whispered. “But it doesn’t change what you did. You still kept things from me.”
“I’m sorry.”
She shook her head, wiping her tears away with the back of her hand.
“Sorry isn’t good enough, Fi.”
Tugging her hand out of mine, she walked around me. I turned just as she approached Jensen. His green eyes flashed with pain as if seeing Jen and me fighting hurt him. I suppose it did. He cared about both of us.
“I trusted you. I told you things I’ve never told anyone. Look me in the eye and tell me you didn’t tell Fi what I said.”
He looked at her head on, his green eyes unblinking.
“I’ve never told Fiona what we discussed in our sessions, Jennifer. Client confidentiality is important to me and I’ve never crossed a boundary like that. What happened between me and your sister isn’t something I’m proud of nor have I ever engaged in such a relationship with a client before. I know this is hard for you to hear, but I love your sister and I care deeply about your wellbeing too. It wasn’t my intention to jeopardise your care in any way shape or form and I apologise for breaking your trust.”