by Liwen Ho
The next few miles were quiet, except for the roar of the engine as Evan shifted gears to reach the freeway. Emma wished with all her heart that she also lived in Los Feliz, so she could be home sooner. But she could barely afford her own place—especially after a recent rent increase—let alone one on this side of town. At least there was little traffic on 101 North as they made the twenty minute trip to her studio in Sherman Oaks. She dreaded being around Evan for much longer. The irony of the situation made her want to cry all the more. How was she supposed to be a supportive girlfriend when she couldn’t stomach kissing him?
It wasn’t that she didn’t want to kiss him. Oh, she did. She’d been on the cusp of enjoying the moment, but no matter how hard she had tried, she couldn’t stop herself from getting caught up in her thoughts. All the seeds of doubt that had planted themselves in her mind had suddenly sprouted. She didn’t kiss as well as the other actresses on Edenvale did. She wasn’t as sexy as them. She didn’t have the confidence they had. Bottom line, she wasn’t good enough.
Certainly not good enough for Evan Spark.
Emma snuck a look his way. In the near darkness, she studied his profile, from his straight nose to his strong jaw. His hair fell over his forehead in soft waves just the way she liked it. He stared at the road in front of him, his expression focused and thoughtful. If he was angry with her, he didn’t show it. But how could he not be upset? She was the one who had urged him to kiss her, and also the one who had cut the kiss short. He had to be upset, or at least, frustrated. She wanted to ask him what was on his mind, but she was also afraid to. Staring off into the distance, Emma debated with herself for the rest of the drive. No amount of reasoning, however, was enough to convince her to speak up.
When they pulled up to her complex, Evan turned off the engine. They both undid their seat belts and sat in silence for a minute. The street was quiet, except for an occasional car passing through. Several windows were lit in the two-story apartment building that was flanked on both sides by tall palm trees. A dog barked loudly in the distance.
Evan turned to face her with one elbow propped against the steering wheel. His expression was partially hidden by the shadows, but his rounded shoulders revealed his weariness. When he spoke, his voice was low and unsure. “I’m sorry I disappointed you.”
Emma whipped her head up to meet his gaze. “What? What are you talking about?”
“The kiss. Isn’t that why you’ve been so quiet?”
“Is that what you think happened?”
“I don’t know what else to think. Maybe the build up of the last year was too much. After waiting so long to kiss, you were probably expecting something more—I don’t know, magical? I’m sorry it didn’t live up to the hype.”
Her jaw dropped at his admission. Boy, did he have it all wrong. “Evan, the kiss was fine.”
He scoffed softly. “Fine? Trust me, that’s not how a guy wants to hear his girlfriend describe their first kiss.”
“I-I didn’t mean it in a negative way. Fine is good.”
“Good? Now that’s something I can work with.” He leaned forward on the center console, his face lit up by the streetlight. “Tell me how I can make it better. No—not just better. Awesome, mind-blowing, spectacular! I can deliver as long as you tell me what to do. How can I improve my kissing skills?”
Emma wanted to laugh. This was preposterous! Evan Spark wanted kissing advice from her? She’d barely kissed a handful of guys in her twenty-six years of life. He, on the other hand, was the one who made out with women practically every other day.
Ouch.
Her heart ached at the thought, while her brain tried to remind her of the context of those kisses. It was Evan’s job to act out those scenes. He didn’t want to kiss those other girls. He wanted to kiss her. So much so that he was worried about pleasing her. If this wasn’t proof of his commitment, she didn’t know what was.
Emma reached over to smooth the lines creasing his forehead. The concern on his face pulled at her heartstrings. She had no choice but to wrap her arms around him. She hugged him tight and buried her face in the crook of his neck. His clean, fresh scent comforted her with its familiarity. Her whole body warmed to be near him again.
He held her close and released a heavy breath. Murmuring in her ear, he stated, “We don’t have to kiss if you don’t want to. Hugging is good, too. I just want to be near you, Em.”
“Me, too.” Emma pulled back to look him in the eyes. She could hear his intentions in the genuine tone of his voice. She loved that he was trying so hard to make their relationship work. Every part of her wanted to do the same. Which meant she needed to overcome her fears and speak up. “It’s not your kissing that I was hung up about. I … I was actually worried about mine.”
“Your kissing? What are you talking about? You were amazing. That was the best kiss I’ve ever had. I mean it.”
“But I’m not like the other girls on the show. They’re all so gorgeous and confident and sexy. I’m nothing like them.”
“You’re right that you’re nothing like them. You don’t need makeup or fancy clothes to look beautiful. You just are. I wish you could see yourself how I see you.” He cradled her face with both hands. “Your heart is so full of kindness and compassion. The love in your heart for me, the people around you, and the Lord—it shines through. That’s what I love about you.”
Emma swallowed hard. She couldn’t believe Evan liked her just the way she was. She’d never experienced unconditional love before, but she had a feeling this was it. “Thanks for saying that.”
“It’s true. And for the record—” he ran the pad of his thumb along her lower lip “—you are sexy. Unbelievably sexy.”
Emma blushed like a fool, her cheeks blazing hot. “I guess Abby was right.”
“Abby? What did she say?”
“She said you’ve probably been taking a lot of cold showers this past year.”
Chagrinned, Evan immediately released her face and dropped his hands into his lap. “Okay, I don’t know what your sister thinks of me, but I hope I’m still on her good side after a comment like that.”
“Don’t worry, you are. You are definitely on my good side.” Reaching out, she covered his hand with hers. “Thank you for being so patient with me. I’m not used to talking things out or being listened to. With Abby, she just expects me to go along with whatever she says. This is really nice.”
“You can talk to me anytime, about anything. We won’t make it if we keep things from each other. Agreed?”
She bit her lower lip as she contemplated her answer. If she agreed with Evan, she’d need to come clean about her feelings regarding his kissing scenes. “I … uh, there’s more I need to tell you about what happened earlier.”
“What is it?”
“Seeing you and Margot today really messed with my head. I know it was fake, but the way you kissed my neck—it was like how you kissed hers.” She swallowed, her mouth dry. “The image popped into my head and I couldn’t unsee it no matter how hard I tried. I’m not sure what to do about that. I know it’s your job—”
“It is my job,” he cut in, “but it’s only a job. No job is worth it if it makes you feel uncomfortable. Honestly, I’m not sure what I’d do if you had to kiss someone else or make out with them on set. I know I wouldn’t like it. It’s not fair of me to expect you to go along with these kinds of scenes when I wouldn’t want you to. Let me talk to Greg. There has to be something he can do, some way of shooting the scenes and making them believable without the actual kissing.”
“No, Evan.” Emma raised her voice in protest. “It’s okay. You don’t have to do all that for me.”
“It’s not a have. It’s a want. I want to do this.”
“I’ll just make sure I don’t ever walk onto a set you’re filming on again. It’s okay as long as I don’t see the actual scenes.”
“It’s not okay, Em. I want you to be proud of me and proud of my work.”
“I am.
I’m so proud of you, Evan. And not because of your job. I like you for you, not because of what you do.”
“I know,” he replied with a simple nod. “Which gives me all the more reason to do this. You’re so important to me. Like I’ve said before, I don’t want there to be any doubts of where I stand. All right?”
Emma shook her head in disbelief. She couldn’t believe Evan would go to all this trouble to help her feel secure. It was too much. “This is crazy. What if Greg says it’s not doable?”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it. And so what if it’s crazy? I’d rather be crazy and stand for something I believe in than scared and fall in line with everyone else. Wouldn’t you?”
She shrugged. “I wouldn’t know. You’re talking to Miss Never-rock-the-boat. I’m not good at standing up for myself.”
“Maybe that’s one of the reasons why God brought us together.” He touched the tip of her nose gently. “So we can help each other grow and be more well-rounded people. Isn’t that what it means to be in a relationship?”
Evan held her gaze with such an intense expression, her stomach did a little flip. Honestly, she didn’t need to worry or be afraid. Being with Evan was one of the best things to happen to her. She could only imagine the good things God had in store for them. “It sounds a little intimidating, but good, too. I’m just glad we’re in this together.”
“So am I. I wouldn’t want to do life with anyone else.” He turned his hand over so their palms met. Lacing his fingers with hers, Evan pulled her close. “Now that we’ve cleared things up, do you think we could try that kiss again?”
Emma nodded eagerly. She closed her eyes and leaned in, tilting her head in the opposite direction of Evan’s. She cleared her thoughts of any memories and images that still lingered in the corners of her mind, and focused on the moment. A moment she hoped would make up for the one from earlier.
Before she knew it, Evan had bridged the space between them, brushing her lips with his. The touch was so light, Emma barely registered it. She waited for him to kiss her again, but before he could claim her mouth, a phone rang. She opened her eyes as Evan groaned.
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and immediately grimaced. He held it up in Emma’s direction. The name Margot flashed across the screen, lighting up the interior of the car. He quickly hit the button to send the call to voicemail. “I’ll deal with her later. Now, where were we?”
Emma wanted to return to their kiss, but she couldn’t shake the unsettled feeling in the pit of her stomach. Why had Margot called Evan? She wavered between not wanting to know and finding out, and finally settled on the latter. “Did she leave a voicemail?” she piped up, trying to keep her voice even. “Do you want to see why she called?”
“Not particularly.” A sour expression crossed his face. “She’s already taken up enough of our time and conversation for one day. I’m not in any hurry to let her take up any more.”
“But what if she’s calling with news? Like she wants to tell you I’m getting kicked off the show?” As soon as the words were out of Emma’s mouth, she gasped. Her hands balled into tight fists as if she were trying to hold onto something—in this case, her dreams. This intuitive reaction opened her eyes to how much acting really meant to her. “Oh, wow.”
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
“I finally know what I want. Thinking about actually getting kicked off of Edenvale makes me realize how much I do want to stay. I don’t want to lose this job.”
“Well, at least there’s one good thing that’s coming out of this mess,” Evan remarked, his tone bittersweet. He reached for her hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’m really glad to hear that. You’re only getting started. You have so much more to show of your talent. Plus, your fan base loves you. You wouldn’t want to disappoint a million teenage girls.”
“A million? You’re exaggerating. I don’t have nearly that many fans.”
“Not according to Instagram, I’m not.”
Her mouth fell open. “What—how? When did this happen?”
“This morning when I checked your account. I thought you knew. You’re inspiring girls everywhere who love to read. They like it that Edenvale has a character like Faith who they can look up.”
“That’s crazy, but amazing.” Emma couldn’t stop grinning. She loved the idea of being a positive role model for bookworms like herself. This made being an actress even more worthwhile. Her happiness faded though when Evan’s phone beeped with a voicemail. “What if—”
Evan held up a hand to stop her. “Don’t even go there. I won’t let them fire you, Em.” His expression sobered. “I suppose we should see what Margot wants.”
Emma waited in anticipation as Evan hit the play button and turned on the speakerphone.
Chapter Eleven
Evan
Evan gritted his teeth as Margot’s sugary sweet voice filled the car.
Evan, sweetheart. It’s Margot. Get ready to pack your bags. Call me back for more details. Ta-ta!
“Pack your bags?” Emma stared at him with wide eyes. “What is she talking about?”
“I have no idea,” he replied with a sigh. The last thing he wanted was to fall into another one of Margot’s traps. He questioned whether there was one trustworthy bone in her body. He still hadn’t confronted—nor forgiven—Margot for her scheming earlier that day. He hated the hold his anger had on him, but he hated the power Margot had over Emma even more.
As Emma’s boyfriend, he was supposed to protect her. But he had already failed to keep Margot from wreaking havoc on their relationship. He vowed to do everything he could from now on to protect Emma. “She’s likely up to no good, but we’re smarter now. We’re not going to let her pull the wool over our eyes again.”
Emma didn’t look so convinced. Her voice shook as she asked, “Are you going to call her back?”
He frowned. “You’re not going to be able to sleep until you know what’s going on, are you?”
“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” she quickly insisted. “I-I’ll be fine. I’m pretty tired, so I’ll probably crash right away.”
Narrowing his eyes, Evan studied Emma’s expression in the glow of the moonlight streaming in through the windshield. He could tell she was making excuses. But he was in no mood at that moment to talk to Margot. He was sure whatever news she had for him could wait. “I’ll talk to her on set tomorrow morning. If it was really urgent, she’d be calling—”
His phone rang.
“Again,” he finished with a smirk. He checked his phone. Sure enough, it was Margot calling for the second time in a span of two minutes. Evan felt Emma’s eyes on him, silently pleading for him to pick up the phone. “I’ll answer it. But don’t worry. I can handle her.”
Emma nodded and leaned on the center console, eagerly waiting.
He held the phone up to his ear and greeted Margot with a curt, “Hello?”
“Evan, there you are,” Margot cooed. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“It’s fine. What did you call for?”
“Didn’t you get my voicemail?”
“I did. What did you mean by pack my bags? I don’t have any trips planned.”
“Guess what? Now you do. We’re going to the Silicon Valley Comic Con tomorrow night. Some guests dropped out, so Daddy was able to get us in. He called everyone to let them know, but I told him I wanted to give you the news myself.”
Evan’s eyes widened as a surge of excitement coursed through his body. He’d been looking forward to doing one of these events ever since he started acting on Edenvale. He enjoyed every opportunity he had to meet fans and talk to them. And to be able to do it in his home town? This was a dream come true. “Are you serious? That’s awesome. Will the cast be doing a Q & A panel?”
“The main cast will. It’s the six of us going. There’s no need for anyone else to attend, especially not those playing minor parts on the show.” Margot emphasized the latter part of her statement, her ha
ughty tone saying more than she let on. “They only want the leads and the executive producer, so Daddy’s going as well.”
“Got it. I’m sure it’ll be good publicity.”
Emma cocked her head and gave him a curious look as she listened to his side of the phone call.
“Of course it will be,” Margot replied. “Fans love us, and they’ll love us even more after they see the episode we shot today.”
The mere mention of that scene got his blood boiling again. He clenched and unclenched his free fist. “Margot, we need to talk. I know about the P.I. you sent up to Aiden’s wedding to spy on Emma and me.”
Emma shook her head at Evan, her eyes wide and fearful.
He mouthed, It’s okay, as he tried to stay calm. The last thing he wanted was to lose his cool with Margot.
“What are you talking about, Evan?” Margot cackled loudly. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. I have better things to do with my time and energy.”
“I talked to the guy myself. He had no reason to lie or make up a story like that.”
“Please,” she spat out with disdain. “Listen to yourself. The claim you’re making is ridiculous.”
“Fine. If you don’t want to own up to hiring a P.I., you should at least admit that you were the one who planned for Emma to see us on set today. That was a low move, Margot.”
“Again, I have no idea what you think of me. I couldn’t care less if Emma saw us. All I’m concerned with is what you and I have. The fans have already given us our own couple name. Jaxon plus Kami equals Jaxmi. Isn’t that adorable?”
Evan gritted his teeth. Adorable was a word he used to describe his baby niece, Sofie, not the fictional relationship his TV character was in. But there was no point arguing with Margot or trying to talk sense into her. She believed whatever she wanted to believe. If he wanted to see change, he would need to talk to her father. Or find a new job. Those were his two options, and neither one would be easy.