by Kat Zaccard
“Strolla-strolla-strolla-pump,” I delivered in a sing-song. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I laughed. “It’s a silly song my mom used to sing about walking in the moonlight—never mind.”
He looked curious but didn’t pry. That was my job.
“So how did it go with your father?” I asked tactlessly.
He glanced at me. “No more beating around the bush, huh?”
“I don’t mean to pry,” I lied. “But I know from experience it does help to talk about these things. You don’t have to talk to me, but I hope you will talk to someone,” I added earnestly.
“I don’t think you’re prying, Alice. I think you’re being a good friend. Thank you.” He paused with a sigh. I tried not to cringe at the word “friend” and just bask in the glow of praise, however undeserved.
We walked a little further. Out of nowhere, he began, “It was weird. I didn’t even know he was alive. I mean, I wondered. But mom always talked about him like he was this angel saint that could never return. She’d always tell me my father loved me so much but couldn’t be with us ever again.” He paused.
“That’s awful, Diego,” I said softly, taking his hand in mine.
“It seemed like the memories were so painful to her. I didn’t want to force it no matter how curious I was. I could tell she loved him still. I even thought they were true mates…” He squeezed my hand gently then released it. My heart broke for him.
“But now here he is, just a guy who left his wife and kid. Hell, I don’t even know if they got married. I just assumed all these years.” He started walking faster. “I’ve only ever seen one picture of him standing by the ocean looking out to sea. I used to tell myself stories that he was a sailor or a pirate. Maybe he was being held captive somewhere and couldn’t reach us, and one day I would save him.”
He rubbed the back of his neck, whipping his long, dark hair over a shoulder. He looked at me somewhat chagrined. “I gave up on all that long ago obviously, but seeing him again brought up all these old memories and wishes. But I’ll never have a dad growing up. It’s too late.”
I grabbed his hand and didn’t let go. Our fingers interlaced, and we walked on in silence. The birds chirped, and squirrels chased each other, ignoring Diego’s deep pain. I waited for him to continue. After a while, he did, “He’s from Peru. My mom met him twenty years ago when she was visiting family in Nicaragua. There aren’t many werewolves in Central and South America anymore. The werecats have taken over most of the territory. My mother’s family lives on the coast in el Cabo del Grácias a Diós. It’s the cove where Columbus landed after two of his ships crashed on the rocks. He named it the Cove of Thanks Be to God in honor of his survival. At the time, he was just a ship-wrecked sailor, so the locals helped him. How could they know the atrocities he would rain down on the tribes?
“My mother’s people are native to the land, the Meskito. They’ve never been conquered by invaders. Their deceptively beautiful cove with its treacherous rock outcroppings are one of the reasons why. Later, the Spanish gave them ships to lure the English into the cove to crash their ships on the rocks.”
“Werewolf pirates? Maybe you weren’t so far off the mark as a kid.” I hadn’t meant to interrupt, but my mouth didn’t get the message in time.
Diego gave me a sideways grin. “Not so many, only a handful of families among the Meskito are werewolves. That’s one of the reasons the werejaguars leave them alone. They’re insulated in their native community. No, they were mostly human pirates, but any invaders that made it to land had the werewolves to contend with.”
“Impressive.”
“My mom’s family moved to Canada several generations ago, but my mom went to visit relatives when she was younger. She traveled by herself to Nicaragua and then on to explore South America. She told me that she met Renzo in Peru. He said he was descended from the Chachapoya. He called them the Warriors of the Clouds. Whatever.
“Anyway, I asked him why after all this time he was here. I mean, I have a father! He’s been alive this whole time! Why hadn’t he written, or visited, or something?” He sighed again and kicked a rock, sending it careening into the underbrush and likely startling a few dozen squirrels.
“You won’t believe what he said next.”
“Go on,” I whispered, not wanting to jar him out of his monologue. He was like an engine venting steam.
Diego looked at me. “I know I shouldn’t even ask because I know what you’ll say. But I have to ask you to keep this a secret.”
The last thing I would do was betray his trust. “Of course,” I promised.
He smiled knowingly. “So the ancient Chachapoya were a tribe deep in the Amazon. Somehow their culture developed by leaps and bounds beyond their neighbors, suggesting trade with Europeans that predates Columbus by a thousand years. Anyway, that’s cool, but not really surprising. Many cultures had sea-faring ships at that time. So, a group of Celts settled in the Amazon. They were fair and many were redheads. To this day, there are more than a few blonds and redheads among the Chachapoya compared to the other tribes that evolved in the area. And some of those Celtic settlers were also werewolves.”
“Oh wow, ancient Celtic werewolves settled in the Amazon! That’s awesome.”
“Hang on, Princess, yes and no. There were plenty of other werewolves around at the time, but I’m getting ahead of myself. When the Celtic werewolves arrived, they were welcomed and accepted by the native werewolves and werecats. Even back then, the werecats held the vast majority, but they were generally at peace with the local werewolf packs. They call themselves werejaguars or hombre-jaguar. A werewolf is hombre-lobo.”
I tried not to giggle. Diego gave me a stern look, but we both ended up laughing. I was glad he was relaxing into his story.
“Anyway, they intermingled and all was well for a few centuries. Their more recent past had seen instability between the werewolf and werejaguar treaties. We know from our version of history that the werejaguars drove the werewolves out of South America and mostly out of the Central America too. There are a few pockets like my mom’s family, but most emigrated to the north. According to … my father, the werejaguars drove out the werewolves because of a rare disease.”
Diego paused and started kicking rocks again. “They call it a disease, but it’s really a mutation or something. It’s not like it’s freaking contagious!”
“Diego.” We stopped walking, and I reached for him, pulling him into a hug. He was rigid a moment then melted into my embrace. I wasn’t positive, but he might have shed a tear. I held him close. It was like hugging a tree, he was so muscular, but somehow, we fit together perfectly.
Another moment passed. “He’s a werejaguar. That’s why I am the way I am.”
So that was where his super shift came from? He was a werewolf-werejaguar hybrid.
“But how?”
Diego pulled back with a bitter laugh. “That’s the million-dollar question, huh? I guess they met in Peru and fell in love. They knew it was forbidden but didn’t think of the consequences. Those consequences being me. My mom said that they didn’t think they could get pregnant. Trust me, that was an awkward part of the story! When they realized they had, they didn’t know what to do. They say they wanted to stay together, but that neither could live in the other’s pack. They also said there was no such thing as a lone wolf or a lone cat and they each needed their packs. They needed their pack more than they needed each other … or me,” he whispered bitterly.
“Oh, Diego, that can’t be true. A decision like that can’t be easy.” My mind wandered to other werewolves in a similar situation.
“I know, but it feels that way.”
I wanted to hug him again, but he seemed to draw himself up to gather strength for the rest of his tale. “So they decided that Mom would raise me in the pack. When I turned sixteen, if I shifted into a wolf, I would stay, but if I shifted into a jaguar, she would send me to my father. Can you believe that? She was prepared to ship me off to
a father and a pack I didn’t even know.”
“Oh, Diego!” I was stunned by his story. It was awful for him. And to think he might have left Mt. Henley before I ever met him. I felt a pit in my gut at the thought. But I couldn’t tell him that my heart went out to his parents too. His dad had looked so ridiculously happy to see the both of them. “It’s terrible that their packs kept them apart. And kept your family apart.”
“You’re right; their pack’s prejudice is partly to blame, but so are they.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that.
“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get angry.”
“Don’t apologize. You’re entitled to your feelings. I’m here for you.”
“Well, I guess my mom only wrote to him three times. Once to say I was born, once to say I had shifted into a wolf, and most recently to inquire about his medical background. Apparently, my recent questions about my father and my curiosity of any man-beasts piqued his interest. He decided to come visit, to tell me the truth, and to admit that my wolfing out or whatever you want to call it is common among the Chachapoya werejaguars, especially among the redheads who are rumored to have Celtic werewolf in their family tree.”
“That’s amazing!” I blurted.
“Amazing?”
“Yeah! Don’t you see? You’re special, but you’re not alone. There are other, um, super-shifters out there. And well, you said you never had a dad growing up, but now you get a chance to have one if you want,” I added cautiously.
“I don’t know if I want to or not,” he admitted.
“Well, I support you no matter what. And you’ve more than a right to be angry. I’m still very angry at my birth parents for a lot of things. But then again, they’re dead. I have no chance to get to know them except through stories that other people tell. And, well, there aren’t a lot of stories. I can’t imagine how painful and hard this is, but maybe give him a chance?”
Diego’s eyes looked stormy again. “I know you mean well, but I think I’m too angry to speak to either of them.”
“Fair enough. Give yourself time to get used to the idea, but do yourself a favor and promise to consider it later.”
“Thanks, Alice.”
“Always.” I gazed at him.
“Remember, mums the word, or my mum will kill me. She’s worried the patrols will pick up Renzo’s scent. He says they’ll just think it’s a mountain lion, but still.”
We continued on our walk. I told him I was going to the Osakura estate to try and help Nolan in a couple of weeks. He filled me in on the latest patrol gossip. By the time we wandered back to my dorm, we were both flushed from the exertion. I was happier in his company, and I hoped mine had offered him some comfort as well.
Chapter 29
We were nearing the end of term when the next full moon came around. Nadia secured me permission to visit the Osakura Estate for just two nights. When I arrived, I walked in on a shouting match between Nadia and Nolan.
“You’re crazy, Nadia! Nothing is going to help.” Nolan’s face was twisted in rage and despair. My heart went out to him.
“Nolan, please, it’s helped others,” Nadia reasoned.
Nolan caught sight of me and turned bright red. “How could you let her come here?” He turned and stormed out of the room through the far doors.
Nadia turned to me with an apologetic look. “I’m sorry you had to see that, and for his disrespect, Your Majesty,”
“None of that nonsense now.” I pulled Nadia into a tight hug. She stiffened in surprise. Nadia was not the touchy-feely type. I held her steady until her shoulders relaxed and she accepted the hug.
That evening, Nolan wouldn’t join us for dinner. We ate in silence. Finally, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I wandered the halls until I found Nolan in the game room. Well, I say “game room,” but it was more like an arcade within the mansion. I spotted my favorite old-school arcade games Mortal Kombat and Miss Pac-Man along with an assortment of pinball, air hockey, and more. It was a kid’s dream come true.
Nolan was absently tossing basketballs into a game he’d obviously mastered since he scored basket after basket. His game ended in loud chirps and squeals, spitting out tickets, and I could only imagine what they did with those! Nolan took little pleasure in the game or his score. I clapped absent-mindedly. “Good game,” I called to him. He turned in surprise and glowered at me. “Look, Nolan, I can’t imagine how you feel, but please, let me try to help you.” He stood in sullen silence with his arms crossed as I started to explain. I told him about helping Pamela shift and figuring out my alpha influence. I mentioned that I thought that was why my team was gaining days under the moon more quickly. He went from glum, to amazed, and landed on angry.
“Yeah, I’ve heard stories that you hypnotize your friends, making them mindless drones,” he accused.
“What?” I was genuinely shocked and hurt. I’d also heard that particular phrase before, and I dropped all delusions that Lola wasn’t spreading most of the rumors at school.
“Pamela says you have some kind of mind control and you basically just admitted it. She says Hayley used to be the toughest girl in school and now she follows you around like a puppy. Thanks, but no thanks.” He crossed his arms and turned his back on me.
“Nolan that’s simply not true. First of all, Hayley is definitely still the toughest werewolf in school. I’d put money on her over anyone in the Artemis or the Apollo dorms. And I’m not using mind control. Please trust me. I just want to help.”
“She does, Nolan.” Nadia had found us. She stepped into the game room.
Nolan turned and looked at his sister. He looked back at me, his brow still wrinkled. “If it only lasts a few seconds, how’s it supposed to help?”
“I don’t really know for sure. But I think of it like a hurdle. With the others, it’s like there’s this mental block that if they can just get a boost over, the rest comes naturally.”
Nolan grumbled, but he started to listen to Nadia and I do our best to explain what we ourselves didn’t understand. But we did care about him, and wanted to try to help. Together, we talked Nolan out of all his excuses. In the end, he agreed to try. The alternative was accepting he was a runt forever. We went out to the stables and changed into robes. We walked out into a moonlit clearing. I gave Nolan all my usual speeches about feeling the moon. He snorted a few times, but Nadia cut him a look and he didn’t interrupt again.
Finally, we decided to practice. Nadia and I shifted a few times, but that only seemed to make Nolan more frustrated. I shifted back and reminded him to stay calm. I took him through a meditation exercise to calm his mind. I told him to close his eyes and feel the moon. I shifted and began to project my alpha influence. I concentrated harder than ever before, urging him to shift, searching for his inner wolf. I only heard silence. His wolf would not come.
After a few hours, the moon began to set. Tears began to slide down Nolan’s cheeks. I felt terrible; nothing I tried had helped. I felt worse having given him false hope. He turned and ran away from us. Nadia stopped my pursuit.
“Go back to the house,” she said. “I’ll keep an eye on him.”
The next day, I went back to Mt. Henley. Nadia told me she was staying with Nolan at their family home. Nolan could homeschool the rest of the year and next year if necessary. I left the Osakura estate shrouded in sadness and returned home feeling bleak.
◆◆◆
We were in the homestretch of exams by the end of May. I was relieved when they were all over and we all had passed. It was a lot harder studying for history without Lola, but Sara made up for the lack, determined that our grades not suffer. She even said she was proud of our efforts by the end.
Term wrapped up, and everyone was going home for summer break. I had another council meeting before I was heading to Greenville. Shea was invited to spend the summer with me again, and I’d arranged for her to come to the Winter Palace as well.
“Are you sure you still want to
come?” I asked her for the hundredth time. “It’ll be dangerous.” I feared that the failed attack on my mom might force the Queen to up her ante.
“All the more reason for me to be with you,” Shea insisted. I admired her loyalty and hoped to deserve it.
Hayley had argued to come with us but had been rebuffed for being a minor. Hayley complained that Shea was going. Ms. Grizzle growled that under no uncertain terms was Shea to act as my guard. She was my guest and that was all, and I wasn’t allowed to bring more and that was final. I appreciated Hayley’s enthusiasm and would have loved her company, but I was glad she would be safe at home with her family in Vancouver. I promised her a royal visit once I was securely on the throne.
Jack was also in no mood to argue and insisted on joining my royal guard along with Sir Henry, Becky, and Diego. I worried that Mt. Henley couldn’t spare them, but Jack had insisted that protecting me was paramount. I hated the thought of putting people I cared about in harm’s way, but I valued their proximity too much to protest any further. I was grateful to have werewolves I trusted at my side.
Chapter 30
The Winter Palace was bustling with activity when we arrived. I was perturbed to find Holly absent from her post. The new girl, Monica, was in her stead. Despite my best efforts, she was just as quiet as the last time. There was no hope for palace gossip from her. She yanked and pulled at my hair while Shea sat mutely in the corner. Shea feared Monica might be a spy for the Queen Regent and refused to speak freely in front of her. I wanted to say she was being paranoid, but after the attack at home, my guard was up. I dismissed Monica as soon as possible.
Shortly after Monica left, there was another knock on my door, which revealed Nadia.
“Nadia, come in.”
Nadia entered and greeted Shea. We chatted for a bit before asking about Nolan.
Nadia sighed. “He’s been inconsolable.”