by Ford, Mia
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It takes us a while to walk all the way to Adam’s home, but as soon as we get there a wave of nostalgia hits. I still have a good friendship with Adam, but it’s been a very long time since we’ve been here. I let out a little laugh as I think about that party and how fun it was. Tame because we were too scared for his family to find out, but fun all the same. Thinking about it, maybe Paisley was there. It makes a lot of sense since she lived there too.
“Are you ready for this?” Adam asks with a hint of nerves lacing his tone. “You don’t want to back out?”
“No, I’m ready.” I clutch the bottle of posh wine closer to my chest. “Let’s do this.”
We step inside his home and his mom comes to greet us. She tries to hide the disapproval from her face, but I catch a glimpse of it nonetheless. She really doesn’t want me here. I will have to try and win her around. Adam’s dad follows, and he makes some insane greeting to try and dull the tension from the room.
But I barely hear what he’s saying. Mostly because another woman has appeared behind him, stunning me to the core. A beautiful, slightly familiar red head with a body to die for, legs that go on for days. Curves in all the right places, plump lips that are just begging for a kiss, wide violet eyes that simply draw me in. I gulp down, trying to hide the way my body reacts to her.
Is this Paisley?
Holy hell! I might well be in trouble here.
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Chapter 2: Paisley
My eyes widen as I stare in shock at Adam. Well, not so much at Adam, but the man standing behind him. The person who has always managed to make my body react to him in this crazy way. Butterflies that are so big they might as well be birds. My heart fluttering like nuts, my stomach flip flopping, even my toes curl over.
Josiah Allen. My brother’s best friend, the man that I have always had an unattainable crush on.
He was always around, it’s almost like he’s always been a part of this family, but he’s never been like a brother to me. Half because he spent most of my childhood ignoring me, and the other half because as soon as I hit puberty I developed the largest crush on him known to a woman. It was everything, completely all of me. I barely slept, I didn’t eat, he was all that I thought of. He nearly even affected my grades because I was so obsessed.
That dark, shaggy hair, the warm brown eyes, the high cheek bones, and that gorgeous smile. And that’s just his face. His body is incredible too. I caught a glimpse of it once as he stepped out of the shower and I’ve been even deeper in love with him ever since. He is very sculpted, like a God. Or at least he was…
Now, I might not be able to see what’s underneath his clothes, but he looks even buffer than before. Broader, in his charcoal suit jacket, and stronger too. Like he could pick me up and throw me over his shoulder if he wanted. God, I wish he wanted that, seriously. Going to college has done nothing to dull my crush.
I thought it would. I assumed that getting away from home and seeing more of the world, living somewhere new without the restrictions of my parents’ rules would change everything, but it hasn’t. I’m still as obsessed with him as before, and now as we cannot seem to drag our eyes off each other, I wonder if this will ever change.
I dated in college, I spent time with other guys, but something was always missing in them which is why it didn’t last. I couldn’t ever really put my finger on it, but now it’s obvious. It’s this feeling, these sparks, this connection.
I brush my dress down anxiously, wondering how I look. I’m dressed casually because I assumed that it would only be me and my family, but now I feel silly. I don’t have any make up on, my hair is everywhere, I’m a mess. My body has grown into that of a woman and I don’t quite know what to do with it yet.
“So,” my dad finally says in a gruff, slightly pissed off tone. “Shall we get something to drink?”
His words are enough to break the magic and I force my eyes away. As I stare at my shoes, my heart pounds so hard it sounds like it’s in my ears. I can barely hear anything other than my own pulse.
Dad leads the way into the kitchen and we all follow, like he’s the pied piper and we don’t have any choice. Josiah hands him a bottle of an incredibly expensive looking wine, and they discuss that for a bit.
Josiah in an expensive suit with posh wine will always be strange to me. I find it hard to put him and the boy from the orphanarium that I fell for all those years ago, into the same box. He had nothing, he was always slightly scruffy with a bit of a chip on his shoulder. He didn’t realize that he had an inheritance coming his way from his parents that he never got to know. Now, he has everything. Money, a successful business, women throwing themselves at him at every opportunity… at least he has according to Adam. I suppose I don’t know for sure.
A twinge of jealousy sticks in my stomach. I’m almost consumed by a shade of green that I don’t like. I don’t know why; it isn’t like this is a new thing. Even in high school once all the teasing was done all the girls wanted him. I didn’t like it then and I guess I still don’t like it now, which is crazy because it isn’t like he will ever be mine. He won’t even notice me now, not when he has the whole world at his feet.
“Oh, Paisley!” Adam suddenly drags me back into the conversation. “I forgot to say this is Josiah.” I almost laugh because this introduction is ridiculous. I couldn’t possibly forget him. “I know you might remember…”
I hold out my hand to him, trying to play it cool. As soon as my hand is out I nearly laugh with how ridiculous this is, being so formal. But Josiah takes mine and he shakes it, sending shock waves of electricity down my arm. My heart starts beating rapidly again. At this rate, I would use up my lifetime of beats in a moment and I’ll drop dead in a moment. I suppose that would be a way to put a stop to all of this…
“Hi, Paisley.” I feel something swim between us as he says this. A sizzling chemistry. “Good to see you.”
“Yeah, it’s great to see you too. Erm…” Shit, I can’t think of anything to say.
“Adam says that you have been studying law,” he fills in, covering up the blank for me.
“Oh right, yeah.” Is he interested in me? Why the hell was he asking? “I have. I’m done now though.”
“So, what is next for you? On the job hunt, I suppose.”
There is something about the way that he’s looking at me which makes me want to freak out. I have seen him giving other girls this look before, but never me. The girls who have received it have probably always ended up in his bed, and I know why. I completely get it. I almost want to jump into bed with him right now too.
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? There’s no almost about it. I want him badly!
But it’s worse with those eyes. The look makes me feel like I’m the only woman on the planet. The rest of the room vanishes into nothing. It doesn’t even matter that my parents are around, or my brother. Josiah is the only one that matters. I want to swim in his eyes for the rest of my life…
“Yes, she will be looking for a job,” my mom jumps in determinedly. “She needs a job soon.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. I should be used to the pressure from my family now, I have spent my whole life with it, but I guess a few years apart has changed things and now I can’t live with it in the same way. I will get a job, but Christmas time isn’t the best time to start looking. The new year will bring with it new opportunities. I will get a new job, a place of my own, space to finally be me again…
College has helped me to discover a personality of my own and I can’t wait to live it.
As my eyes meet with Josiah’s again, I think of another reason why living alone would be the best thing ever. If he ever really did want me and this look wasn’t just in my head, we could spend a lot of nights together. Me and him, acting out all the fantasies that I allowed myself only in the dead of night when I was a teenager. His hands all over me, touching me everywhere, his mouth, his steel rod…
I shiver and immediately
blush, hoping that no one in the room can read my thoughts. That would be embarrassing. Especially Josiah. He would be the worst person to know what’s on my mind.
“I am about to dish up dinner,” Mom says, thankfully none the wiser. “Why don’t you all take a seat?”
I try to choose my chair wisely so that I’m not facing Josiah. I know for a fact that I won’t be able to eat with him looking at me, but after a few switches with him and Adam, for reasons I cannot work out, he ends up next to me which is even worse. My brain races, trying to find ways out of this, but I know I will make too much of a fuss if I move now so I try my hardest to just accept it. To ignore him. Although, how I’m supposed to ignore someone who’s body I am wholly aware of even when he’s across the room from me, is beyond me.
Dinner is hard. Josiah’s knee keeps knocking against mine. I don’t know if it’s accidental or not, but it makes me freak out every single time. One time I even jump so much Adam asks me what’s wrong, and I have to pretend that I thought I felt a spider crawling up my leg. It’s absolutely ridiculous.
Get it together, I curse myself. Stop being weird, you are not a teenager anymore.
But at twenty-three years old, I definitely don’t feel as grown up as I should though. I guess because my childhood was so sheltered and strict, it will take me a little longer than everyone else. College was a good intro though.
After dinner, the drinks keep on flowing. My parents don’t usually drink, but Christmas Eve has always been an exception. It’s probably worse tonight because Josiah is here, and they haven’t ever really liked him, and I am back too, piling on the pressure. Adam seems to be drinking a lot as well, which I think must be due to work stress. It’s only me and Josiah that don’t seem to be able to keep up with everyone else. I can’t drink because the nerves are getting to me and I’m scared that I’ll end up saying something stupid, but I don’t know what his problem is.
Of course, along with the drinks come the board games. Another Jones family tradition. For a long time, I hated the board games. When I was a teenager and I thought I had better things to do but tonight I don’t mind so much. It eases the tension and gives us something to talk about. We are actually all having a laugh!
“Oh well, there it is!” Dad booms, clearly drunk now. “I’m the winner again.”
“I let you win, Dad.” Adam rolls his eyes. “Because you complain so much when you lose.”
“No, you did not.” Dad’s eyes flash. “I demand a rematch then, and this time don’t let me win…”
“No, thank you.” Mom curls her hand over his shoulder in a way that tells Dad his night is over. They are great at this whole silent communication thing. “I think it’s time for bed. We have a big day tomorrow.”
Dad parts his lips, almost as if he’s going to argue this point, but he sees the stern expression on Mom’s face and the argument falls away. Even after a night of rare drinking, he knows which rows are worth having. He rises to his feet and says goodnight to all of us, almost stumbling at the bottom of the stairs as he goes.
It isn’t until the three of us stop laughing that a strange awkwardness overcomes me. Maybe it is time for me to leave and go to bed as well, to leave the boys alone. But every fiber within me wants to stay. I don’t want to leave Josiah yet. I know that I might not get to see him again for a very long time.
“Hey, we should watch a movie!” Adam suddenly slurs. “Don’t you think?”
I nod eagerly, glad to be included in this plan. It means I don’t have to leave which is perfect. While Adam, sorts out the television, I flop on the couch, and much to my surprise, Josiah chooses to sit beside me. There are other places he could go, but he purposely sits next to me, which has to mean something, right?
I wish I could ask someone, that I had a friend here who I could call to come along, to see what’s going on between me and Josiah if I’m losing my mind by assuming that he feels something too… but I don’t. All my friends come from college and live in different cities all over the country. Maddie, the only real friend I had in high school went to study abroad in England and hasn’t been back since. I don’t think she ever will.
Nope, this is something that I’m just going to have to try and figure out alone.
“I haven’t watched a horror movie in a while,” Adam says a bit too loudly. “Have you guys? Do you mind?”
It isn’t very Christmassy, but any Christmas movies usually involve romance and there’s no way in hell that I can watch a romantic film this close to Josiah. I will end up losing my mind. “Horror is good.”
The movie comes to life on the screen, but my eyes are too blurry to focus on it. I’m too aware of the sexy as fuck man next to me who is creating a stirring within me that I’m not too sure I’m ready for. I’m swirling, twirling, dancing through space. Sparkles flutter everywhere, I might well be going crazy. It’s a good job that I haven’t had too much to drink or I might cave to this craving and jump on him. It’s hard enough not to now.
Josiah slides closer to me. I swear I’m not imagining it as his leg brushes up against mine. I fizzle, sparks trickle all over my skin, this is all too much. I play with my hands in my lap, the intensity is too much for me.
I slowly drag my eyes towards Josiah, needing to look at him, just to see if I can gauge anything from him, and much to my surprise he’s looking back at me with a deep lust on his expression. Yep, I’m definitely not imagining this. He wants me too. For the first time ever, he actually likes me as much as I like him.
Shit, what the hell do I do now? This floods me with sheer panic. How do I act?
I almost shrink in on myself. As much as I want to get everything that I’ve been thinking about for as long as I remember, I’m scared to go for it. I’m frightened of making a fool of myself, of him rejecting me, of Adam going nuts on me… no, I need to just keep my hands to myself and ignore Josiah. As much as I can anyway.
But then his knees brush against mine once more and I nearly squeal. It’s so hard when I haven’t ever felt this way about anyone before. Even Jason, who I thought I actually liked quite a bit, was nothing like this. No wonder I just kind of forgot that we were dating until I saw him kissing Alexandra. Even then it didn’t hurt that much.
If I saw Josiah kissing someone else, despite the fact that I haven’t ever kissed him myself, I would lose my mind. I think it would actually kill me a little bit. I wouldn’t ever be the same again.
“Oh look.” Josiah unexpectedly grabs my arm and points to Adam. “Too much for him, huh?”
My brother lies across the seat with his mouth open and his eyes firmly closed. A snore flies passed his lips as we stare at him which almost wakes him up… but not quite. I can’t help but laugh at him.
“Oh, my goodness, he looks ridiculous.” I clap my hand over my mouth, so I don’t disturb him. “He has had way too much to drink tonight. I didn’t realize it was quite that much though. What do we do?”
Josiah looks at me and I stare right back at him. There is something nice about this moment, it’s an actual friendship which we haven’t ever had before. I laugh again, and he joins in with me.
“I don’t know, I don’t want to wake him, do you?” I shake my head. “Then, I think we should just leave him. Let him sleep this off and me and you can watch the rest of the movie… if you can hack it.”
I rise to the challenge. “Oh, I can hack it alright. You don’t need to worry about that!”
I settle back on the couch, darting my eyes over to my brother a couple more times. But as Josiah snakes his arm around me, I forget all about Adam. I become acutely aware that me and Josiah are very much alone for the first time ever. I shiver with anticipation. This night just took a very interesting turn. Anything could happen.
I settle into the movie better this time, and although I can’t quite get in to it, I feel good about the whole situation. There’s something about this that feels dangerously like a date and that’s all I’ve ever wanted. A chance. I want to grab a
ll my old teenage diaries and scream in to them not to worry because the time will come around if I’m patient. Maybe then I wouldn’t have spent so much time torturing myself over something that I assumed had no chance of ever becoming a reality.
This time it’s me who sidles closer to Josiah, a bolt of bravery over coming me. If this is my only chance, then I do not intend to waste it. I turn my head to look at him, loving the feel of his eyes still on me.
* * *
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About the Author
Mia is a contemporary romance writer who loves to write about strong, gorgeous, Greek God like alpha men who love protecting their sassy and sexy women.
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