She gives me a tight smile and I don’t know what to read from it. Is she stressed and ready for the day to be over?
“My cheeks hurt so much,” she says, as if reading my thoughts, “I haven’t stopped smiling, it’s ridiculous.”
Adam’s suddenly at her side, arm wrapped around her.
“Hey you,” I exclaim, as we exchange kisses. “I’ve just been telling Susan it’s been such a beautiful day.”
“Yeah, it’s been better than we ever dreamed,” he says, “and how are you? Everything good?”
“Yeah, yeah, fully employed now, it’s hard work but very rewarding. Still living back at Mum’s but working on getting myself a flat. Also, once I’ve worked there a while, I’m going to take a sabbatical and do that travel thing I always banged on about.”
“Oh yeah, where?” he asks, while Susan looks at me as if I’m incredibly interesting. A woman who can stand on her own two feet.
I slap my inner bitch and continue…
“South America. Yeah. Hiking round, that kind of thing.”
“Wow, you’re much braver than me,” Susan admits, “I even have to get Adam to get spiders out of the bathroom. I also tried camping once and lasted half an hour before I caved and went to a hotel! I’m pathetic.”
She’s actually really nice. I don’t know why we’ve always been so hard on her – maybe because we never knew enough. But she’s so self-deprecatory, caring, honest, and clearly loves Adam.
“Oh, there’s my aunt, she’s turned up late because of car trouble. So glad you could come. Speak later,” she says, rushing off alone to meet her aunt.
I stand with Adam for a moment and grin. “Well done with that one, I really am so happy for you.”
“Thanks, Lil. It means a lot.”
“I’m sure you’re both going to be very happy.”
“Thanks. That’s kind of you. I was sorry to hear about Ian, though.”
“Yeah.”
“Paul wasn’t though. He was pretty happy about it.”
I forget that Paul and Adam still occasionally meet for drinks. It’s probably why Theo was out of the loop – his crowd is in London now.
“Yeah, and I hear he’s just split up with someone.”
“Oh, it wasn’t serious,” he laughs it off, “just a bit of fun. I don’t know what you’ve heard, but they parted amicably. She sort of found out about his trip and said it was time they went their separate ways.”
“So he hasn’t mentioned anything about me?” I feel my nerves tingling, my face tightening.
“You didn’t?” He looks genuinely shocked.
I think I’ve given myself away.
“Didn’t what?”
“You and him, you bloody—”
“Shut the fuck up, so he didn’t say anything?”
“No, but your face says it all. I knew there had always been sparks, but…”
“You cannot tell anyone, okay? It’s not even… we’re not… you mustn’t say anything to anyone.”
He cocks an eyebrow. “Susan already spotted that connection between you two. I swear, I’ll only tell her, but we’ll keep it between ourselves.”
I try to catch my breath but feel weird about it all.
“I suppose I’d better mingle with the evening guests,” he says, “but we’re so happy you could come, really!”
He hugs me really tight, but before he moves off, he leans down to whisper in my ear, “Look how happy I am because I escaped the club, maybe you should, too. I love Paul, but he’s a mess, babe. Save yourself.”
He gives me one last kiss on the cheek and he’s gone.
I look around the room and see Marie and Sass still on the dancefloor with their partners. Looks like I’m alone again. I scan further and catch Paul standing with his back to the bar, eyes zeroing in on me. Almost like a tractor beam, he draws me in and I walk to where he is.
“Need another drink?” He puts his arm around me and we watch the revellers.
“No, I’m good.”
“Mum’s already tucked up in bed, had enough. Someone gave her a shot of something and it knocked her out.”
I chuckle softly. “Sounds about right.”
“What was Adam saying then?”
“Oh,” I laugh, “he told me to stay away from you, says you’re a mess.”
“What the fuck does he know? How does he know?” He turns to me with an embarrassed look.
“He figured it out. He’s not stupid. Nobody stupid would land Susan. She’s incredibly intuitive, you know. She even knows we hate her.”
“Yeah, and she knows why,” he groans, turning back to rest against the bar again. “None of us match up to her. She’s stolen Adam away and we’re never getting him back. Look how happy he is.”
“Yep.”
For a moment, everything feels like it’s closing in on me. The whole room spins around me and I’m locked, here, in this bubble with Paul. Except it’s a bubble I want to pop.
I want things he’s not able to give me. I want him, entirely. All I want is him.
But I have to let go. That’s how it’s going to be.
I look down at my watch and find it’s almost ten o’clock. I was meant to be leaving now anyway in that taxi I cancelled, so I reckon I can definitely get away with calling it a night. Once I get upstairs, I’ll text the girls and let them know I headed out but we’ll catch up soon.
“I’m going up to the room. Wanna join?”
“Yeah, definitely,” he grins, “give me a few minutes to do the rounds and I’ll be up there.”
“Great.” I kiss his cheek and he squeezes my bum as I’m passing. I shake my head but luckily, nobody appears to have seen it.
Checking the hallway as I escape the party, nobody is around. I jump the stairs and make it to the room without being seen.
Once inside, I take a deep breath and make a plan.
If this is going to be our last night, let’s make it a good one.
Because it won’t be happening again.
I can’t trust him, but bloody hell, I can fuck him.
Chapter Ten
I hear the door open and shut, my whole body coming to life because he’s nearby. For years, whenever he entered a room I was in, I always felt better for him being in the vicinity. Recently, since we made love, it’s different. Now whenever he enters the room, my body feels like it’s on fire and my heart beats erratically. It’s like I’m about to float up and look down on myself and I can’t control the colour in my cheeks.
He walks towards the bed. I’ve dimmed all the lights, shut all the curtains and tucked myself in, naked.
Unashamedly, he rubs his hand over his pronounced crotch, standing at the foot of the bed.
“You’re naked, aren’t you?”
“Might be.”
“I was hard in the lift just thinking about you.”
“So, what are you hanging about for?”
I watch with glee as he strips out of his jacket, shirt and tie, then his shoes, socks, trousers. He drapes everything across the chair by the window, then walks back towards me.
“You hired that outfit?”
“There’s a bit of cum on the crotch. I’ve been hiding it all night,” he chuckles. “Probably have to pay extra for the cleaning.”
“Dirty boy.” I open the covers just to give him a glimpse and when he tugs down his pants, his cock slaps against his stomach and I can’t wait any longer.
Inviting him in, he jumps into bed, pulling me against him as we lie sideways. I wrap my leg over him and his erection brushes between my thighs.
“Fuck me,” he groans, “you’re so warm and ready to fuck, aren’t you?”
“You bet.” And I want nothing but sex from this night. That’s all. Nothing more.
So what if I’m in love with him? He’s not in love with me. After so long being used and treated like a doormat, I’m going to take what I want, then walk away. Tough tits.
“God, fuck,” he groans, leaning down
to suck my nipple.
“Yes,” I groan, “less talking, more fucking.”
He pulls my nipple between his teeth at the same time as rhythmically sucking.
“One thing. Are we still okay without a condom?” he asks before going any further – even though in reality, it is already a little late for that.
“Why? It’s not like you’ve been with anyone lately, right?” He has to always go and spoil the romance by asking stupid stuff like that. Okay, so maybe he’s just trying to be safe, but fuck.
“Guess,” he says, shrugging, “just wanted to make sure.”
“As long as you’re not going to give me anything, go for it.”
“No, I get checked regularly,” he says, annoyed, and even pulls away from me slightly, the moment gone.
I’m not doing a very good job of hiding my bitterness and getting on with the just-sex part, am I?
“Why’d you need to get checked regularly?” I sit up under the duvet, propped up with cushions, arms folded. He does the same and we couldn’t be any farther from what we were doing just a moment ago.
“I do it as a precaution.”
“Yeah, but… if you’re wearing condoms with other partners…”
“Which is true, apart from you…”
“…and the girl you just split up with?”
I feel the anger seethe off him, even from where I am now, at the other side of the bed, my eyes averting his.
“How did you find out about that? What did Adam really say?” he lashes out, turning and trying to catch my eye.
“Adam said nothing. I heard it from someone else. Thing is, rats always get found out.”
“Listen, okay? Listen.”
“No, you listen!” I turn and face him, pointing at his face. “All you have to do is be honest with me, but you’re not. I have to find out from other people. And nice work, by the way. Because I’ve been hanging out with Theo, you even avoided telling him, didn’t you?”
He has nothing to say; he simply chews the inside of his cheek.
“You could at least let me in on your motives, you know. Straight up, tell me you just want sex. Then we all know where we are.”
“It’s not like that with you and you know it,” he stresses, but phrases like that only serve to remind me of the prick I recently got shot of out of my life.
“It’s complicated, yeah?”
He gets out of bed and puts his pants back on. “Lily, let’s just… forget it. If you want. You can stay here and I’ll go and bed down with some of the guys. If that’s what you want.”
I turn and give him my best angry face. “No. I want to be fucked. All night. And then, after that, we’re done. That’s it. Okay? No more. Done. Finished. Agreed?”
He swallows hard, looking down at the floor. “If that’s what you want.”
“Yeah. And no more talking.”
He gingerly removes his pants again and lies down in bed next to me, upset and annoyed and hurt. It’s not the moment for romance or kissing or anything like that, so I do only what I want to do.
I scoot over and dive beneath the duvet, sucking his cock back to hardness. He’s like stone within seconds and tastes amazing. The moans coming from him make me believe he’s on the cusp of orgasm, but suddenly he yanks me up on top of him to perform a 69, shoving his tongue into my vagina and making me scream.
I said no talking but a big part of me wants to yell obscenities in response.
He grasps my bum and stretches my skin to open my crack to him fully. He’s fucking me with his tongue, rocking me back and forth on him, and I have no strength to say no. I really love Paul, always have, always will. I’m going to take this night and leave it right here, savour the moments and carry them with me forever more.
His precum leaks into my mouth and I start to gag. I also sense slaver gathering on his belly as I eat him in a messy fashion, his cock big and juicy. He’s not as big as Ian but he’s better. Paul’s always rock hard for me and I want to try anal sex with him. Ian wasn’t into that but I bet Paul will be. Maybe later I can convince him to try it.
It’s almost as if he read my mind when his tongue strays and rims my pucker. I lift my face off his swollen member and gasp, “Yes, don’t stop.”
“Like that?”
“Yes,” I gasp.
He lifts me off him but places me back onto the mattress, arse up, chest buried in the covers. He smashes his face between my butt cheeks and plunges his tongue into my pucker at the same time as rubbing my clit with his finger.
“Oh god, oh god, oh god!!!” I come screaming into the duvet and he can probably see the way my pussy is tightening and contracting in response to his touch.
I have no time to react as he lifts my arse higher and rubs his engorged cock head around my pussy lips.
“Oh, fuck!!”
I judder as he pushes himself against my clit and growls, “I can see everything, Lily. You’re a dirty bitch and you need cock.”
“Ye—”
I can’t get my words out as he slams into me, deeper than ever before, then rides me like a man possessed, squelching back and forth, slapping my bum and occasionally sliding his finger across my pucker again.
“I wanna do that later,” I say, with a tremor in my voice, my head pushed into the bed as I rest on my frail elbows.
“Do what?”
“Butt sex. Later on. Up my bum.”
“Yes, I knew you wanted to.”
He grabs my shoulders and my bum is pulled tight against him as he pushes into me with short thrusts, keeping me on the edge, buried deep inside me.
“I want to come, Paul.”
“I know, but I’m enjoying being inside you. Such a wet, tight pussy, perfect for me.”
I reach underneath myself and finger my clit. If he wants the full experience…
“Oh my god,” I groan, as his cock begins to feel bigger and bigger. “Don’t stop!”
Everything inside me tightens and I grip him harder, my clit swells beneath my finger and he begins to groan, in that manly sexy way, out of control and enjoying the best pleasure of his life.
Everything from my clit outwards begins to throb and he keeps up his small movements, burrows deep inside me, my body sucking him in and massaging the entire length of his beautiful, perfect cock, the flesh so milky, his pubic hair so dark and rough, his balls huge and smooth. My cries are loud and I can’t control them as I remove my finger and attempt to ride back on him. He takes the hint and starts the engines again, swinging into me, hitting my cervix and finding that sweet spot, deep, deep inside. I point my arse as high in the air as possible and rest my head on my hands as I ejaculate, the warmth between us outrageous, my pussy out of control, tugging and tugging, munching on his cock until he can’t take anymore, pulls out and comes immediately all over my backside.
“I love you,” someone says.
I think it was me. I whispered the words so quietly, he didn’t hear them, I hope. Or did I say them in my head? I hope they were in my head. He hasn’t responded, so I must have said them to myself. I’m obviously going doolally in the aftermath of great sex.
He lies on top of my back afterwards, covering my body with his, our lungs struggling to recover from the ordeal. He breathes heavily into my hair and eventually rolls onto his side, pulling me with him so we’re spooning.
He says nothing. He obviously didn’t hear.
Or worse, he can’t reciprocate. He doesn’t love me. Or is he hallucinating, too? Did he say the words? To himself? And I didn’t hear them.
Definitely doolally.
He smooths his hands over my stomach and legs, then my breasts, enjoying me.
“You’re the best sex of my life,” he says, and I realise I definitely said it – he definitely heard it – and his response is to say I’m the best sex of his life.
Great.
Oh well, I’m sure there are worse things to be.
“Ditto,” I tell him, and with those words, he pulls me backwa
rds and covers my mouth with his, kissing me deeply and passionately until I can’t see straight.
His arm beneath me is wrapped across my breasts, holding onto me. His other hand trails down my body until settling on my mound.
I turn fully onto my back as his body remains angled towards mine. I run my hands over his biceps, through his hair and over his chest, the pulsing inside me starting all over again.
Our kisses continue endlessly, feverishly. I’m still angry with him, but I’m also in love, and I also understand. Paul has secrets he hasn’t divulged to anyone and if I want him to eventually open up, I’ll have to be here, in whatever fashion he allows me to be. Right now, I want him just like this, his body heat keeping me warm even now the night is cool. Just his arms pinning me to him and his mouth sending fizzing sensations through my entire body as he kisses me…
He’s playful one moment, and in the next, it feels like he’s sucking the air right out of me. He takes a breather and one of his fingers strays from my mound and covers my clit. I open my eyes and see him staring at me, searching my eyes. He slips his finger into me and I arch, breathing heavily.
He watches my reaction as I climb towards another orgasm, his middle finger rubbing against my g-spot, his thumb swirling around my clit.
“Oh, god, Paul!” I yell, shaking all over as I endure a different kind of orgasm, one more localised and tender.
His mouth claims mine again and I’m panting, delirious, as he climbs on top of me and kisses my throat, my cheeks raw from the heat, my insides screaming with pleasure. He lifts my legs around his waist and pushes into me, gently this time, slowly. He slides his hand underneath my buttocks and lifts me towards him, sinking into me deeper and deeper. He brushes the hair away from my face and holds my cheek, staring down at me.
“I love you,” I groan, unable to stop myself. The moment it’s out, a tear streaks down my cheek and I feel a fool.
His face twitches and he bites his lip. I think I’ve upset him, but then he finally tells me, “I love you so much.”
My chest almost bursts with happiness and my tears fall freely. He’s smiling as he leans in to keep kissing me and we rock together, making love, lost in each other. For the first time, as he takes me, I’m allowed to touch and caress him without feeling like there’s a rush – he’s finally allowing me some time.
Bad Friends Page 6