by Kim Loraine
I need to talk to her. But I don’t know if now is the right time. I’m not sure there ever will be a right time to hash this all out.
She lets out a heavy sigh and turns her face up to the moon. “Why are you punishing me?” she says, and my chest tightens in response. Seeing me is a punishment?
I can’t stop myself. My feet move me toward the stairs that will lead up to her. The sound of my footsteps on the stairs has her sucking in a sharp breath and standing.
“Who’s there?”
“It’s just me,” I say, easing into the situation. “I saw you up here. Thought maybe we could talk.”
She crosses her arms protectively over her chest. “Why, so you can throw it back in my face that we’re not together anymore?”
“Look, I’m sorry. I guess, five years might be a long time, but it’s still fresh for me. I loved you. You didn’t choose me.”
Hurt flashes across her features and I wonder why. She broke it off with me, not the other way around. “I tried to do the right thing.”
“How was not being together right?” Then I stop myself. Holding up a hand, I say, “I’m sorry. It doesn’t feel right to me, but obviously we were in different places. You can’t force yourself to love someone.”
She steps closer to me. “Colt, that’s not how it was. I did love you. But…”
“You loved the other guy more than me.” I hate the way those words feel. When we started dating, I knew she was seeing other guys. Fuck, I was seeing other girls. But it became all too clear that she was the one for me after just a few weeks. I broke it off with the other girls, expected she’d do the same, but I was wrong. “What kills me is that I said I loved you and you left me for him. But where is he now?”
Her jaw clenches and she takes a harsh breath. “It didn’t work out. None of it. But I’m glad. I was twenty-two, barely ready to start my life as an adult. I wasn’t ready to settle down.”
I let those words sink in. She’s right. At twenty-two, I’d been a careless kid who thought a full tank of gas and frozen pizza in the freezer meant I had what I needed to take care of a family. “God, you’re right. We were so young. It’s hard to forget though. You were my one great heartbreak.”
She reaches for my hand and I let her. The contact makes need spark in my veins. “You were mine.”
“Do you ever think about us?”
“All the time.”
“I’m not crazy, right? It was…”
“Intense.”
I thread our fingers, tugging her close enough her breasts brush my chest. “Perfect.”
My free hand trails along her bare shoulder, across her collarbone, up her neck. I could kiss her right now. I could make her mine tonight, but would I get to keep her in the morning?
Leaning in and offering her lips, she whispers, “Colton.” It’s more of a plea than anything, but I can’t tell what’s truly behind it. If she’s asking for more or questioning whether we should do this.
I back up, just enough to put distance between us and break the spell our connection has cast. “Breakfast is at ten. I’ll save you a seat.”
Walking away from her has to be the hardest thing I’ve done in a long time. Harder than driving fence posts or digging cattle out of piles of snow left by a freak storm. But if I want to keep her, I have to do this right. I have to show her why she made the wrong choice when she didn’t pick me.
I feel her gaze on me the whole way down the stairs, but I force myself not to look back.
She still wants me.
49
Sean
The next morning, one thing is clear. Colton is the other guy. He’s the one she left me for after I popped the question and she shot me down. He has to be. But fuck if I know what happened between them. I expected her to be married to the man I lost her to, and instead I find her single and obviously still affected by us both. How did this all play out? Did he fuck things up so badly with her that she left him after he won? If that’s the case, he doesn’t deserve her now.
My boots crunch under the gravel as I walk to the main house. I need coffee. It was torture knowing Chloe’s room was above mine all night long. I could hear her pacing. She didn’t sleep last night. Neither did I.
“So you’re under me,” Chloe says, her soft raspy voice making my body react with a rush of desire.
I turn and face her. She looks fresh as a daisy, her long hair pulled into a ponytail, a soft pink sleeveless dress hugging her curves. I grin. I can’t help myself. “Not yet, bunny.”
Her cheeks go pink to match her dress, and she flicks her gaze down to my boots and dark denim. “Boots, huh? Aunt Karen won’t like that.”
“That’s too damn bad.”
She smirks and leans in. “Don’t let her hear you. She’s vicious.”
My stomach growls and the two of us laugh. “Come on. I need to get some food in me if I’m going to be tasting wine all day with you.”
“Do you even like wine?”
“It’s okay. I prefer whiskey.”
She lets me place my palm on her lower back as I open the door for her, and the two of us walk in together. “You know, I think there are a few distilleries out there too. Maybe we can sneak you over to one or two today?”
Hope flickers in my chest. “You want to be alone with me?”
“I’d rather be alone with you than Aunt Karen.”
I laugh out loud as we walk into the dining room. There’s a buffet set up with coffee carafes, pitchers of orange juice and chilled bottles of champagne, as well as piles of hot food. I load up on flapjacks and bacon, while she takes eggs and sausage, as well as a heaping serving of fresh fruit.
“Sit with me,” I say while pouring both of us cups of coffee.
She bites her lower lip and those big eyes blink up at me, but she nods. As soon as we’re seated at the table, the crowd comes in. Her aunt and uncle, Porter and Georgia, as well as the other three couples who are serving as the bridal party.
“Where’s Colt?” Porter asks, looking around with a frown on his face.
I couldn’t care less where he is, so I simply shrug and sit back in my chair, drinking my coffee slowly. But, of course, the man walks in at that moment, all smiles, hair damp from a shower. “Sorry I’m late.” He saunters over to the buffet and fills his plate, then takes the seat next to Chloe. “Mornin’, darlin’. What did I miss?”
She murmurs, “Morning,” into her coffee cup, and avoids both our gazes.
He just had to come in here and make it awkward. “Chloe and I are making plans for today,” I say, casually taking a piece of bacon from my plate.
“Oh, good. You guys have worked everything out,” Georgia says. “Thank God. Today would’ve been so awkward if you hadn’t.”
“There’s not a problem,” Chloe says, sitting up straighter, voice tight.
“Great.” Georgia opens her gigantic purse and hands all three of us a sheet of paper. “Here’s a list of all the wineries we’re visiting. They all know we’re coming, but we’ll be going in smaller groups so we don’t overwhelm them all. Just tell them you’re with our party.”
“Who am I riding with?” Chloe asks, and I hope to God Georgia does me a favor here.
Georgia bites her lower lip and gives us a guilty glance. “We separated all the couples. I didn’t think you’d mind sticking to your groomsmen for this. But that was before…I can change it. You can join Porter and me.”
“Oh, Georgia, no. You can’t do that. It’ll mess up the entire itinerary. Besides, Chloe can hold her own with these two boys.” Karen shoots a pointed look at Chloe, who takes a sharp breath. “She wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your plans just because she doesn’t want to be sandwiched between two handsome cowboys.”
I slide my arm over the back of Chloe’s chair. There is no way in hell I’ll let this chance pass me by. “No worries, ma’am. We can share. Colt and I will behave.”
Colt snorts. “Sure will.”
“It’s fine,” Ch
loe says. Then she turns to face me and mutters, “Alcohol and ex-boyfriends. What could go wrong?” The humor in her tone makes me laugh. If she was joking about this, maybe things would progress from stilted too easier. Maybe I could get her to give us another chance.
Breakfast goes by quickly, the three of us not making much conversation with each other. I think we all have the same idea. Focus on getting out of this powder keg before Karen inadvertently winds Chloe up and she snaps.
The conversation at the other end of the table is loud and completely Georgia-centric. Thank fuck.
“Walk you to your room, bunny?” I murmur when I see Chloe’s finished with her meal.
“I don’t need an escort.”
“I know. I just like to look at you.”
Colt lets out a low grumble. “She’s not gonna fall for your shit. Chloe’s not the kind of girl who likes sweet talk.”
“Seems to me, you don’t know what she likes. Or you wouldn’t be sittin’ there in the same situation I’m in.”
He stands, a frown on his face, but he doesn’t argue. Instead, the man holds a hand out to Chloe and cocks his head, asking her to come without using words. She looks from me, to him, then stands. “I’ll walk on my own.”
It’s hard as hell not to follow her, but this woman isn’t the kind who’ll enjoy being chased. She’ll push me away if I do that. I learned first-hand what loving her too hard, too soon, could do to a man. So, I watch her walk out of the dining room. I refill my coffee, return to my seat, and force myself to pretend my heart isn’t already in her hands.
50
Chloe
Rich people. That’s the only answer for what has gotten me into this situation. I’m seated between my two ex-boyfriends in a huge SUV as we drive over a bumpy road that’s taking us to the first winery of the day. Could I have sat in the front next to the driver? Nope. He said he wasn’t willing to have a drunk girl up front with him. Asshole.
The car sways as we hit another rough patch of gravel. I lean heavily against Colt, not letting myself enjoy his firmly muscled chest or the warmth from his body. Sean grabs my arm to steady me at the same time, and touching them both makes things low in my body tighten in a way they shouldn’t.
“Are we almost there?” I ask, desperate to get out of this vehicle if only to take a breath of fresh air not laced with their combined pheromones.
“Looks like it,” Sean says, pointing to his left where the sprawling winery finally appears.
“Shit, it’s huge.”
“That’s real sweet of you, darlin’.” Colt’s words make my cheeks heat and my thighs clench.
“You wish,” I offer, needing the car to stop right now so I don’t do something I’ll regret in the morning.
When we finally pull into the parking lot, I practically crawl over Sean to get outside. The sun beats down on my skin, but my face is already so warm I barely register the difference in temperature from the car to the grounds. My ankle wobbles in my stupid heels on the gravel, and before I get the chance to pull myself together, both Sean and Colt are at my sides. They’re holding me, keeping me from falling, but most of all, touching my bare skin. “I’m okay,” I say through a tight throat.
“You should have worn your boots,” Sean says, nudging my heel with the toe of his leather clad foot.
“I’m not at the ranch. Not in the arena. I can dress up, you know.”
“The only way I’ve seen you is in your jeans and boots or in nothing at all,” Colt offers. “I prefer nothing at all.”
I roll my eyes and pull out of their grasps. “Not happening.” Then I stride carefully toward the winery entrance.
“We’ll see.”
“Back off, asshole.” Sean’s voice is more of a growl. “She doesn’t want you anymore.”
“She doesn’t want you either.”
I turn to face them both and cross my arms over my chest. “Stop this. You two are acting like cavemen right now. I’m sick of it. We all have histories, I get it. It’s awkward and confusing. But neither of you gets to fight over me, you understand?”
They both deflate a little, their defensive postures changing to more relaxed ones. Neither says a word, they just start walking with me.
Colt gets the door and they wait for me to enter. Playing at being gentlemen now. I wasn’t a fool. Both of these men were dangerous to my heart. They were bad boys in the bedroom, gentlemen in public, and heartbreakers everywhere else.
I stride to the tasting bar and say, “We’re with the Bloom and Clayton wedding, and I’m going to need you to double the size of your pours for me.”
“Well,” the server says. “I can’t really—”
“We’re both her exes and she’s stuck with us for the weekend.” Colton drops a few twenties on the counter. “You can.”
The woman grabs three wine glasses and nods. “Sure. What the hell.”
Over the next forty-five minutes, the three of us try six different wines, and by the time we leave, we’re laughing instead of tense. They both touch me tentatively, soft brushes of fingers over mine, gentle nudges of elbows. We don’t argue, or dwell on our history. Instead, we joke and play together. All three of us. It’s like the moment I told them how crazy they were acting, they understood.
“Ready to get going?” Sean asks, taking my arm gently.
“Sure. Maybe this time we’ll run into my aunt and she’ll finally figure out what happened between us.”
“I don’t want her to until we figure it all out first.”
Colton tucks a lock of hair behind my ear and shakes his head. “Is there anything to figure out?”
I don’t answer because I can’t. I walk with them to the waiting SUV and slide into the middle seat. When Sean takes his place at my left side and Colt at my right, I shiver with longing for them both. “Maybe there is more to figure out than we want to admit.”
The men stay silent as the engine starts. The driver pulls onto the road and the last thing I want is to have to go through another tasting. I think it’s time to clear the air with these two.
“How many wineries are we supposed to visit?” I ask, leaning against Colt with each sway of the car.
“There are six on this list.”
I don’t know if I can stomach five more of these visits. “How about this…we go rogue.”
Sean narrows his eyes and grins. “Rogue?”
“Yeah. Let’s hit up a distillery, grab some lunch. We don’t have to do what Karen laid out for us. How will she know?”
They both nod and grin before I tell the driver to take us to the closest distillery.
The day goes by with us falling into an easier, more friendly rhythm. All three of us laugh together, joke and tease, get to know each other again. Or, in the case of the guys, for the first time. But every time Colt touches me, I see that flash of jealousy in Sean’s eyes. And when Sean puts an arm around me to nestle me into his side, Colt narrows his eyes.
We take a picnic lunch out to a hillside and eat in companionable silence, taking time to appreciate the quiet of the rows and rows of grapes that make up the tapestry of the landscape. But when Colt takes my hand to help me up and tension crackles between us, I feel a change in Sean’s energy.
I back away from Colt and stand between the two men. “You know, maybe we should talk. Work out our issues.”
Colt chuckles. “I’m pretty sure we worked those out last night.” He crosses his arms over his chest and looks completely unaffected.
My cheeks burn, and from the look on Sean’s face, he wasn’t expecting that.
His entire body stiffens. “Again? You chose this guy over me again?”
What? “Excuse me?” I ask.
“He’s the reason you rejected my proposal five years ago. He’s the other guy you we’re seeing.”
“Wait, you were dating us both? At the same time?” Colt’s voice holds absolute shock. “I mean, we weren’t exclusive, but I thought…fuck, I thought we had something special. I sto
pped seeing anyone else as soon as I realized what we had.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
I don’t want to hash this out in such a beautiful place with them, ruining the memory we were making, but it looks like that’s exactly what is happening. “I never thought I’d be the kind of girl who fell for two men at the same time. Not in a million years. I was so focused on horses, on riding and finishing school, I shouldn’t have had time for one man, let alone two.”
“But somehow you managed,” Sean said, not a trace of disdain in his voice.
“I fell in love with both of you. And when you each wanted to move things forward, I had to step back. I couldn’t choose. I’d rather be alone than choose between you.”
Colt takes my hand and runs his thumb over my knuckles. “What if you didn’t have to?”
51
Chloe
I think my brain is malfunctioning. “Did you just say I don’t have to choose?”
“Look, I can’t speak for Sean, but I know losing you was one of the worst things in my life.” Colt turns to face me and he cups my cheek with one rough, calloused palm. “If I have to share you to get you back, even if it’s just one night, that’s what I’ll do. You can have me. Any way you want me.”
There’s such openness, such vulnerability in his voice, I can’t bring myself to look away. “Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
One night. With both of them. I’d fantasized about this more than once. “Sean?” I reach behind me and grip his thigh.
Sean’s fingers slide across mine and he squeezes my hand. “One night together, if it means I can have you.”
Colt leans in, his lips a breath away from mine. My chest tightens as possibility washes over me.
“Look, if you guys are going to have a threesome, can you wait until you’re not in the back of my car? I just had this thing detailed.” The driver’s voice brings us all back to earth.
I settle back in my seat, breaking contact with both of them. Embarrassment floods me, but there’s also excitement. Can I do this with them? More importantly, will I be able to look at them the same way if we do this?