Dot Con
Page 2
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 5:16 pm
Okay Then you will have to call our marketing manager. And convince him about that.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 5:24 pm
No problem; I can call him in the morning. But I won’t have the picture to show him. Could you be there so we can do a conference call? Sort of hit him with all the angles. You go in slow; I’ll come in fast and heavy about the gold.
You’re totally right about getting in touch with the manager of course. Here at the bank we, too, leave almost all major decisions to the marketing team.
How much room do you think the gold will take up?
There’s not much room where I live. I can bin the microwave but that only frees up about two square feet.
Still trying to get on to your website; have you had your IT guys look at it?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 5:41 pm
If you can call him in the morning that will be great. I will get more details regarding the website from the manager in the morning.
I will be so much happy if the deal goes well, because I am going to get a very good commission as well.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 6:10 pm
Superb. What’s your cut if you don’t mind my asking? Are you planning on spending it already? I want to get a new microwave. What’s this guy’s number?
James
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 6:23 pm
I will make $1000 commission per each kilo.
His phone numbers is +233-541370970. Name Wilson.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 6:50 pm
Wow. See? We’re both going to do all right out of this.
I’ll call Wilson tomorrow morning.
What are you going to spend your cut on?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 7:42 pm
On RealEstate, what about you?
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 7:57 pm
One word: hummus. It’s going places.
I was in Sainsbury’s the other day and there were about 30 different varieties.
Also, you can cut up carrots and dip them. Have you ever done that Solomon?
And peppers. The other day I got peppers of all different colors and cut them up and dipped them in hummus. Delicious. I’ve been eating a lot of cold food since the microwave packed in. Do you like microwaves? Will you have one in your new house?
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 9:59 pm
I have to go bed now. Till morrow. Have sweet dream.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 17 10:02 pm
Bonsoir my golden nugget, bonsoir.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 18 12:11 pm
Solomon,
I had several meetings this morning and was unable to call the marketing manager.
Meanwhile, I’m concerned about security. The news tells us that the authorities are watching our every move. The other day I picked up my telephone and heard a crackle as I brought it to my ear. Then, as I was talking, there was a popping sound. Finally, when I put the receiver down, I heard a loud snap. The thought that someone could have been listening in put me right off my cereal.
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: (no subject) Date: October 18 1:40 pm
All I need from you is to follow my instructions and I promise you we shall both smile at the end.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Security! Date: October 18 1:55 pm
Solomon,
Re. security: I think when we email each other, we should use some sort of code. Would that be all right? Say ok and I’ll send you the code I’ve been working on.
James
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 18 3:43 pm
I agree totally that we should use a Code. Am sure from the coming week the Lawyer would have finished with the legal documents and we shall proceed with the claim process.
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 18 4:09 pm
Excellent. I spent all night coming up with this code; can we use it in all further communications please.
Bank: Creme Egg
Lawyer: Gummy Bear
Legal: Fizzy Cola Bottle
Claim: Peanut M&Ms
Documents: Jelly Beans
Western Union: A Giant Gummy Lizard
Please call me KitKat in all further correspondence.
The best thing to do is write the email and then go through it and replace all the terms with the ones I’ve provided. It would put my mind at rest and I think it would expedite the whole process. Looking forward to doing business with you!
KitKat
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 19 9:34 am
Solomon,
Is the deal still on?
KitKat
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 19 11:49 am
The Business is on and I am trying to raise the balance for the lawyer so that he can submit all the needed legal documents the bank for the claim process to start. Can you assist with some funds? Send to my name £1,500.00 via Western Union
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 19 1:13 pm
Solomon,
I certainly can. I can send funds tomorrow. But I’m very concerned about privacy. For instance in your email, “claim” should have been Peanut M&Ms and “documents” should have been Jelly Beans.
From: Solomon Oddonkoh
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 19 2:22 pm
The business is on. I am trying to raise the balance for the Gummy Bear so he can submit all the needed Fizzy Cola Bottle Jelly Beans to the Creme Egg for the Peanut M&Ms process to start. Can you assist with the funds? Send £1,500.00 via A Giant Gummy Lizard.
Solomon
From: James Veitch
To: Solomon Oddonkoh
Subject: Re: Security! Date: October 19 2:25 pm
:)
The Snail Farm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets I need an investor to invest 300000$ in farming that will yield profit of 6000000$ in eight months
09/29 01.04 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze what sort of farming are we talking about? Will I need to milk a cow?
09/29 01.38 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no cow business but snail farm only
09/29 02.04 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how are we supposed to get milk from snails? have you thought this through?
09/29 02.16 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no i don’t mean we milk snail but farm it so that all that eats snail can afford
to buy snail
09/29 04.01 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how confident are you that we can’t milk snails? Don’t you think it’s worth trying? This could be a good secondary income.
09/29 07.06 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snail contains little fat.it is the best food for Africans in order to reduce risk of cholesterol.don’t joke look divine
09/29 10.34 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze amazing. How easy are they to catch?
09/30 12.56 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets it is being hunt in the night because they move only in the night for food.
09/30 01.04 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze gotcha. How fast do we have to be though? When I was younger I tried to catch a rabbit and it was very very hard.
09/30 01.07 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snail moves slowly
09/30 01.10 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze how slowly?
09/30 01.13 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets one of the most slow moving creature
09/30 01.32 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze In principle, I’m in. How would you feel about coming in with me on a cheetah farm I’m planning?
10/03 05.58 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets what next is to sign the contract legally and start construction of the farm.
10/03 07.16 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Question, how do we stop the snails escaping? could we organize some sort of ride around the farm or “park” for tourists?
10/03 07.32 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets i have no fund for that.such farm better 4 western world
10/03 08.44 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze not 100% sure Camden Council would grant planning permission for a snail farm. I had enough trouble getting resident’s parking.
10/03 08.50 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Islington?
10/03 08.51 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets snails will be controlled by a construction with wire gauge.hence no atom of risk involve.
10/03 11.17 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze This wire gauge sounds perfect. Can we electrify it, too?
10/03 11.33 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no need
10/03 11.50 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Can we prevent a breakout though? What if something happens to the fences? What if the snails learn how to open doors?
10/04 07.41 am
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets security for all properties are my government first priority there is security provision in my proposal to you.no cause 4 fear
10/04 09.12 am
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze You say that but if we have a snail breakout it’s not going to be as easy as when the Pirates of the Caribbean ride breaks down.
10/04 09.20 am
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets there is cause for alarm
10/04 01.18 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze Exactly. We clocked the S African Snail going 32mm per hour.
10/04 01.44 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets no escape
10/04 01.47 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze What are we talking here? How many snails does £15 get me?
10/04 01.56 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets i know the business very well as you know comedy very well
10/04 04.05 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze If you know the snail racket half as well as I know callbacks, we’ll be milking ’til kingdom come.
10/04 04.06 pm
Oramaeze Maxwell
@mormaeze
@veitchtweets the ball is in your court
10/04 04.07 pm
James Veitch
@veitchtweets
@moramaeze but the snails are in yours.
10/04 04.08 pm
The Blurb
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Need your help… Date: October 27 5:05 pm
Hello,
This message may be coming to you as a surprise but I need your help.Few days back my family and I made an unannounced vacation trip to Manila,Philippines. Everything was going fine until last night when we were mugged on our way back to the hotel.They Stole all our cash,credit cards and cellphone but thank God we still have our lives and passports safe.The hotel manager has been unhelpful to us for reasons i don’t know.I’m writing you from a local library.
I’ve reported to the police and after writing down some statements that’s the last i had from them.i contacted the consulate and all i keep hearing is they will get back to me. Our return flight leaves soon… I need you to help me out with a fast loan to settle our bills here so we can get back home i’ll refund the money as soon as we get back.
Thanks, ROBERT
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 27 9:32 pm
Robert,
This is NO TIME to visit the library. Who’s this hotel manager and why is he being so unhelpful?
Of course I’ll loan you the money. What do you need? Shall I contact the consulate on your behalf?
How’s Daphne?
James
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 10:12 am
Daphne’s fine.
We are having such a frustrating ordeal here. I have nothing left on me except my passport which i could use as verification purpose at the Western Union outlet.
I’d really appreciate if you can loan me the cash. All i need now is $2,500 USD but will appreciate whatsoever you can afford to wired right now. You can send it via Western Union money transfer. I can receive the cash within minutes after it’s sent using my International passport as identification.
Here is the information you need:
Name—ROBERT FORTNUM
Location: 54B Hilton Road, Makati City, Manila, Philippines
amount: $2500
Email me the transaction confirmation number as soon as it’s sent. I promise to refund as soon as I arrive home.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 2:30 pm
Of course Rob; you know I’d do anything for you and Daphne and the twins.
Let me check and see whether there’s one of those Western Union thingies close by.
How soon do you need it?
James
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 2:45 pm
Thanks for your helping hand, i need the money urgently because i will need sort my bills, you can have the money wired online Via westernunion.com.
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Let me know how much they charge in sending fee’s so I can add to reimbursement.
Thanks, ROBERT
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 3:15 pm
Ok, ok.
I’m trying to get the cash out today but it’s a Sunday so it’s tricky. Doing my best for you buddy.
You haven’t even asked how my writing is going!
James
From: Robert Fortnum
To: James Veitch
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 3:26 pm
OH,sorry i almost forgot to ask you how is your writing? i got lot thinking right now, i want to have the money wired to me online via westernunion.com if you can’t locate any local store or WU outlet near you because i think having it done online would be more easier and faster.
Await your responds.
From: James Veitch
To: Robert Fortnum
Subject: Re: Need your help… Date: October 28 3:54 pm
Thanks so much for asking, Robert. Just knowing you’re out there—albeit in Manila—means a lot to me.
Actually I just checked online and there is a WU in central London that is open 24 hours so if I can convince my bank to let me get that much cash out, I’ll go there this afternoon.
But did you end up finishing my novel? Last time we spoke you’d read half but not finished it. What did you think?
Tell Daphne we say hi.