by L R Deney
Colonel Zenn found herself sharing a cell with Captain Jacobs, a rather typical military man, bland, and used to routine. And routine he was, presently on the floor doing pushups, counting each one in a loud, clear voice. He was as boring as mayonnaise and he was driving her nuts.
She wasn’t sure how long it had been, but it had to have been only a couple days. She sat on her bunk, just staring at the wall, wondering what came next. She was just thankful she wasn’t captured by Kadmon’s forces, but a demon’s still a demon regardless of what side they were on.
She tried to go back to sleep by lying down and curling up, but the counting from her cellmate was too distracting. So she just continued staring at the fucking wall. She couldn’t believe how many pushups he was doing. Technically she could order him to stop and give it a rest, but what was the use when he’d just eventually start it over again later? Best to just let him tire himself out.
Thus she sat there, stewing about her capture, the disastrous campaign where she was immediately overwhelmed by the Luciferian army. She had no idea if others were ambushed, if complete disaster had happened to them too. For all she knew now, Azramoas could be a smoking ruin dominated by demonic hordes, cannibalizing the innocents.
Eventually the captain came to an end in his pushups and jumped to his feet. She turned her head and gave him a look and he tilted his head in confusion. She shook her head and sat back up to face him. Just the infuriating look of pure, self-assumed innocence on his face made her want to punch him. But then again, maybe she was just in a bitchy mood….
“Something bothering you, Ma’am?” he asked, showing her some legitimate concern.
Zenn wound up shaking her head to that, she was just being bitchy. “Nah, Jacobs, just this place. It’s getting to me. I completely failed.”
“Hey now, you had no idea that the demons would ambush like they did. It’s not your fault. I would have followed you the entire way.”
“Really? Well, I suppose you would have. Ya’ll saw what fucking happened. It was practically a massacre.”
“It was a massacre, Ma’am, and Intel should have done better recon.”
“I don’t know, it’s been seventy years since the last major war we’ve been part of. Maybe the agencies are out of practice.”
“Possibly, but that’s still not an excuse. They should have done better.”
Zenn nodded in strong agreement. Intelligence failed them.
Somewhere a gate clattered and a whistle echoed through the hallway. The jingle of keys accompanied it with several sets of footsteps. Everywhere, eyes were on the hallway as the guards approached and passed through the corridor. Eventually the three guards arrived at Zenn and Jacobs’ cell, each red skinned with the classic batwings, forked tails, and horns, but they each wore a dark blue guard uniform as well.
“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” said one of the guards with a fanged smirk. “Seems to be we have a bunch of silly mages who thought it was a good idea to traipse their way into Hell. With a golem army, no less. Very amusing.”
“Silly humans,” said another. “You realize Azramoas only exists because Hell doesn’t give a fuck about it, right?”
“And you waltz right into Scathus of all places,” the third said. “And with a Luciferian army hot on your tails. You bastards.”
“We were responding to an att—” Colonel Zenn said, trying to explain.
“You can explain it to the Queen,” the first guard interrupted as he began unlocking the cell.
“The Queen?”
“Yes the Queen. Ruler of all of Scathus, she requests your presence.”
“And why is that?”
“To interrogate you, of course. She’s not very happy with you coming here and complicating the war against Luciferion.”
“Look, we have our o—”
“I said save it!”
Nodding in compliance, she zipped her lip. It seemed unfair what they were doing, but she expected unfairness from Hell. The guard grinned at her, mouth full of razor sharp teeth as he slid open the cell door. The other two guards were obviously there to make sure that no one else tried anything.
“Now come with me,” said the guard.
Allowing herself to be taken into custody, she let the guards shackle her before she was led out of the prison block. She was taken to a desk for sign-out where the guards did all of the paperwork for her, explain that the Queen wanted to see her. Then she was escorted out of the building.
Like most prisons, it was out on the very edge of the city, surrounded by barbed wire fences, although the barbs were the size of daggers practically. Demons didn’t seem to be particularly subtle in their extreme, Gothic motifs. The trees outside the fence were more, moving, demonic plants that seemed eager to reach in and grab a snack.
She was pushed into a weird vehicle that looked like a cross between a prison transport and a hearse. Two of the guards sat in the back with her while the third got in front to drive. The vehicle then drove down the road through scenery she couldn’t see. That didn’t really bother her, as she saw it all when going in. There was nothing special about modern, urban streets, even Azramoas had them.
It felt like she was in the vehicle for about half an hour when it finally came to a full stop and the engine turned off. The rear doors were opened and she was led out into the open. The heat of the blazing sky above bore down on her for the first time since the expiration of her body temperature spell.
Zenn hadn’t seen this angle of the city. On one side of the road were a score of buildings, the signs in a language she couldn’t comprehend, while on the other side was some kind of grassy campus. It was only when she saw what it was a campus to was when she was well and truly impressed.
The massive building looked like some kind of ancient castle or cathedral, she couldn’t be sure of which. Its outer walls were covered in jagged spikes and it boasted numerous towers that came to very slender, needle-like points on top. Ramparts, bastions, crenellation, buttresses, all the classic details that Zenn had originally been expecting to find in Hell. She would have guessed that it stood here for thousands upon thousands of years.
One of the guards pushed her forward up to the path that led into great Gothic-style building. She was led past the front gates as the castle loomed up ahead. The thing was positively massive; she couldn’t even comprehend how big it was. It certainly dwarfed the capitol in Azramoas. She wondered silently how long it took to build, and how many perished in its construction.
Inside, the scale was as massive as the exterior. Along the walls were tapestries and paintings depicting important figures among demonic nobility, quite a few of a demoness with short, blond hair and a rather expansive… chest. Others were of great battles, demons fighting demons and then she noticed in some of them, something else. Weird beings with multiple wings and appendages that radiated off some kind of light. She had no clue what they were, but the imagery was disturbing.
Their footfalls echoed throughout the grand hallway, adding to the ominous feeling of creeping dread around her. She was about to meet a powerful being that ruled a nation within Hell. One wrong move and that would be the end of her. She was beginning to loathe her superiors even more for sending her into this poorly reconnoitered disaster called a war.
The massive doors ahead were thrown open and her presence announced to whoever waited within. One of her first observations was that this throne room was twice the size of the council chamber in the capitol building of Azramoas. Past that, the room was very black, extremely black. Pure obsidian stone constructed the walls. The floor, however, was marble.
On the far end of the room was a dais where a single throne rested. Sprawled along that throne was the blond, red-skinned demoness from the paintings outside. She was dangling her legs lazily over the arm of her throne, boredly staring at Zenn as she walked in with her escort. The demoness did indeed have a rather impressive pair of breasts that were somehow tucked into the tight, black gown she w
ore. A single claw tapped at her chin when the colonel drew closer to her throne and she finally had a better look at her.
“So you are the commanding officer of the army we captured?” the demoness asked with a fanged grin. “You don’t look like much.”
“I’m not sure what you were expecting, Your Highness,” Zenn replied, trying her best to keep her cool. “I am Colonel Rebecca Zenn, commanding officer of the 6th Legion.”
“Fancy title, but still not impressed. Now tell me, why do you and your golems, thank you for the toys, by the way, come tearing through my border with Kadmon’s accursed followers on your tail?”
“We were responding to an attack on Azramoas, we—”
“Attack? I have ordered no attack! Azramoas is of little concern of mine.”
“Well, I know that. But we weren’t retaliating against you, we were retaliating against Kadmon. Problem was, we got ambushed by her forces and were forced into retreat. We were intending to use your war against Luciferion to stage an attack against their preoccupied ranks.”
“But things didn’t go according to plan, did they?” The Queen smiled maliciously.
Colonel Zenn lowered her head. “No, no it did not. We lost a thousand of our golems and several good officers to the attack from Kadmon’s forces.”
“My golems.”
“I, uh… what?”
“They’re my golems. They have been appropriated for our war against Luciferion. Be grateful that they’re going in for their original purpose.”
“What am I going to tell my superiors in Azramoas?”
“Why do you think you’re returning to Azramos? I could simply execute you right here and now and no one would miss you. You’ll be assumed MIA, just another casualty of war on a battlefield that your forces were ill-prepared for.” The Queen laughed a loud, sinister cackle that filled and echoed through the entire throne room. Zenn’s heart sank at the sound.
“Well then, I’ll die proud.”
The Queen frowned. “Well, that’s no fun. I expected some groveling, some kissing of my feet, begging for your life.”
Zenn blanched. “No thanks.”
The Queen crossed her arms over her ample breasts. “Well fine, be that way, spoil my mood. I should just have you killed anyway for your insolence.”
“Then do it.”
The demon queen actually looked shocked. She stared down at the colonel, dangling a heeled shoe off a fishnet stockinged foot over the arm of her throne. Colonel Zenn simply stared at her back, defiantly. The stare down lasted for several moments before the Queen finally broke eye contact and huffed in frustration.
“Ever wondered what the world looked like from upside down?” asked the Queen.
“No,” Zenn answered. “Why?”
“Because you’re about to find out!” The Queen waved her clawed hand and the colonel found herself floating up to the ceiling, feet first.
“Ahhh! What the he—”
“Hell? Well dear, where do you think you are?”
“Not funny!”
“I think it is. And your opinion doesn’t matter to me. Next! Bring in my minister of war.”
A rather thin demon with a monocle, blue tweed suit, long nose, and a stack of papers wandered into the throne room below. The creature looked so comical; she had to fight hard to contain her laughter. Hell wasn’t anything like she had expected.
“Your Highness, I have brought news from the field,” said the demon in a voice that sounded something like some scholar would have.
“Yes, I know, that’s why I called you in here,” the Queen retorted with a roll of her eyes. “So out with it already.”
“Ah yes, of course, Your Majesty. We have received reports that the Luciferians are pulling back from the border, leaving only a residual guard posted. It would seem that there is something in the west that is pulling their attention away from us. We have dispatched scouts to discover what it might be.”
“Well that’s perfect!” exclaimed the Queen, clapping her hands. “This is the perfect time for our counterstrike. And, best of all, we can use those two-thousand new golems we acquired recently.”
“Oh yes, a very wise choice. Many of our own soldiers are still in recovery. I’ll send the word at once.”
“Please do. The sooner we gain ground against the Empire of Luciferion and that bitch Kadmon, the better it is for us.”
“Oh yes, definitely. They will never know what hit them!”
“Excellent, you are dismissed. Bring me good news the next time you arrive.”
“I will be sure to, Your Highness.” And he turned around and left the throne room.
A laugh finally escaped Colonel Zenn, unable to contain it any further.
The Queen looked up at her. “And what’s so funny?”
“You’re losing the war, aren’t you?” Zenn asked, her face covered in a smirk.
“That is none of your concern. And of course not. Our nation stands strong, defiant in the face of Kadmon’s twisted empire.”
“Really? Because it sounds like you’re on the ropes. Didn’t your minister say much of your soldiers are still in recovery?”
“It’s inconsequential, unlike mortals like yourself, demons heal at a far faster rate. My soldiers will be back on the field before you know it. You’ll see. Kadmon will learn the hard way to not fuck with Sarah Brimstone!”
“Sarah Brimstone? That’s your name?”
“Yes, what of it?”
“Aside from the last name, it doesn’t strike me as very demonic.”
“And what does a ‘proper’ demonic name sound like to you?”
“I don’t know, Kadmon seems like a proper demon name. Kah-doh-mone. It has a real nice ring to it, y’know?”
“It’s a stolen name, you know.”
“Oh?”
“Oh yes, a lot of demons do it to sound more impressive or interesting. It comes from the term ‘Adam Kadmon’, the so-called primordial man of your species. But like most demons, she’s twisting it to her own selfish purposes. Geez, for someone who led an army of golems, you’d think you know more about what your enemy was doing with her time. The woman is all edge with no point, self-absorbed in a ridiculous quest to become the Second Coming of Lucifer.”
“Lady, I don’t know much about golems aside from the ways to command them in battle. I don’t build them; don’t even have a hand in their construction. My spells consist of battle spells, like fireballs and lightning bolts.”
“Your ignorance is irritating. I would have you know that the dark plans Kadmon has are disastrous for the entirety of creation, not just Hell.”
“We know what she wants. She’s after something called the ‘Crown of Lucifer.’”
“Very good, your city did some reconnaissance after all.”
“Surely it doesn’t exist? I mean, Lucifer’s just a Biblical myth created by the Church to scare people into their congregations.”
Sarah laughed. “Oh yes, Lucifer is indeed a myth, but that doesn’t mean the crown isn’t. There is such an artifact, claimed to be his crown, which allows its wearer to hold unlimited, unimaginable power. It was lost countless millennia ago, but the marks of the devastation it wrought still exist to this day in the south.”
“Just sounds like more myth and legend.”
“You bitch, I was there. I saw it with my own eyes.”
Zenn’s eyes widened at that. “How old are you?”
“I lost count several millennia ago, but I’m much older than most of your world’s civilizations. If not all of them.”
“That’s… pretty damn old.”
“Did our modernized world allow you to forget that demons are immortal?”
“Maybe a bit. It’s nothing at all like what I expected. Very vivid pictures are painted in the stories told about Hell.”
“Of course they are. Your ‘Catholic Church’ as they call themselves, wanted to literally… haha… demonize us. So they painted us as some kind of animalistic, fiendis
h culture that preys on your world. I guess your wizards weren’t immune to that propaganda.”
“Well, isn’t some of that true?”
Sarah rolled her eyes and sighed. “Some of it. Certain nations with Hell tend to act rather uncivilized and closer to the stereotypes you’re familiar with. I dare say, Luciferion is probably the most civilized of these barbaric nations.”
“Not a big fan of Kadmon are you?”
“She’s a monster! You have no idea! No idea at all of the things she’s done to her opponents when she crushes their countries. Demons have an eternity, but even we can be killed, and we can be killed in the most gruesome ways.”
“Well, that sounds pretty rough.”
“Rough is an understatement.” Sarah waved her hand and Zenn suddenly found herself gently landing on the floor upright.
The colonel checked herself over for a moment. “Thanks.”
“Whatever. Tell me about Kadmon’s attack on Azramoas.”
“Well, the Council was apparently judging this criminal that had risked exposure of magical society to the mundane world. Her name was Staci Drenvauder, I think.”
“Why is that name familiar?”
“I don’t know. But Kadmon’s forces somehow found a way to break in through the city’s wards and came to her apparent rescue. Anyway, they slaughtered a lot of staff and Staci escaped the chaos. We eventually repelled the demons, but not before we suffered grave losses. Half the Council of Magic wound up dead.” Zenn clenched her fist.
“I see, so Azramoas has much reason to despise and desire vengeance upon Kadmon.”
“Yes, especially after Staci Drenvauder assassinated the Speaker afterward.”
“Wait a second, assassinated him?” A look of realization struck her. “Now I remember that name. Kadmon has her little girlfriend back, does she? Well, well… this is valuable information.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I assume you know of who I speak.”
Sarah nodded. “Yes, yes, you see this Staci Drenvauder would carry out many dark tasks for Kadmon several years back. She assassinated numerous demonic leaders for her lover. And then, she just vanished from demonic politics. It has been sworn that someday Hell would have its vengeance against her.” She leaned rather close to Zenn, noses barely an inch apart from each other. “We have a common enemy, you and I.”