“He figured that the Ascended would kill me when I attacked them, but he also had a backup plan. I didn’t get it when he said that I would never be free again. He must’ve given the others an order to kill me if the plan with the Ascended failed. He said he’d rather see a war among his people than have me…unleashed upon the people.”
“He’s a fucking idiot,” Casteel growled, rising from the bed. “Part of me wanted to give Alastir the benefit of the doubt at first in the Chambers. That he wouldn’t be that fucking stupid.”
“I don’t think any of us thought he’d do something like this,” Kieran said. “To go as far as to betray you—your parents. Kill Beckett? That’s not the man I know.”
Casteel cursed again, dragging a hand through his hair. Sadness settled on my shoulders. I couldn’t stop the image of Beckett in his wolven form, tail wagging as he bounded alongside us as we arrived in Spessa’s End. Anger mixed with the distress. “I’m sorry.”
Casteel turned to me. “What do you have to apologize for?”
“You respect and care for Alastir. I know it has to bother you.”
“It does, but it is what it is.” He tilted his head to the side. “But it would not be the first betrayal by one who shares his blood.”
An ache pierced my chest, even though he had his emotions locked down. “And that makes me even more sorry because you spent the last several decades protecting him from the truth.”
A muscle flexed in Casteel’s jaw, and a long moment passed before Kieran said, “I believe Alastir cares for your family, but he is loyal to the kingdom first and foremost. Then to Casteel’s parents, and then to himself and Malik. The only reason I can come up with for why he’d be involved in something like this is that he somehow realized what you were before anyone else did, and he knew what that meant for Atlantia and for the Crown.”
I hadn’t told them about Alastir’s involvement, and I didn’t think that was something that would’ve even come during compulsion. My stomach tightened, and the center of my chest hummed.
“It’s because he did know.”
Both of them stared at me.
“He was there the night the Craven attacked the inn. He was there to help my parents relocate to Atlantia,” I said, shaking my head. “They trusted him. Told him what I could do, and he knew then what it meant. He said that my parents knew what the Ascended were doing—that my mother was a…a Handmaiden.” I looked at Casteel to see that he’d stilled.
“I didn’t remember them until he mentioned them, but then I recalled seeing these women dressed in black that were often around Queen Ileana. I don’t know if that memory was true.”
Tension bracketed Casteel’s mouth. “The Handmaidens are real. They are the Blood Queen’s private guards and cohorts,” he said, and I shuddered. “I don’t know if your mother was one of them. I don’t see how she could have been. You said she didn’t defend herself, and those women were trained in every manner of death known.”
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I don’t remember her fighting, but…” I had gotten those glimpses of her holding something in her hand that night. “I really don’t know, but Alastir said that he didn’t kill them. That something else led the Craven there. He said the Dark One did. Not you, but someone else.”
“That sounds like a load of bullshit,” Kieran muttered. “Also sounds like he got lucky with the Craven showing up to do his dirty work.”
I agreed, but again, there were those glimpses that lingered on the fringes of my consciousness. They were like smoke, though. When I tried to grab them, they slipped through my fingers.
I sighed. “Much of the way he behaved toward me was an act.” That hurt, because Alastir…he reminded me a little bit of Vikter. “He came to me more than once to ask if I wanted aid in escaping. That he wouldn’t be party to me being forced into a marriage. I thought that meant he was a good man.”
“It could’ve been a genuine offer at first,” Kieran said. “Who knows?”
“And his offer held an ulterior motive later?” I looked over at Casteel. “Do you not find it odd that he wanted you to marry his great-niece?”
“It wasn’t just him,” Casteel stated. “It was also my father.”
“And he is your father’s advisor,” I pointed out. “It’s just strange to me that he would want that when you were engaged to his daughter. Maybe it’s not that odd since so many years have passed, but I just…it’s weird to me.”
“It is odd but not unheard of.” His eyes squinted thoughtfully. “I can think of several examples of widows and widowers becoming involved with siblings of the deceased years later.”
I couldn’t even fathom that. Not because I would judge someone in that situation, but I would be so concerned that the other might worry they were a replacement. “I know that he would have more control over the Crown if you were to marry someone he had control of. That he was on the verge of losing whatever influence he had over Atlantia with you marrying me, and him knowing the truth of what I was. I don’t think for one moment that his motives were purely centered around protecting Atlantia. I think he wanted to maintain control, and he was virtually staging a coup. I told him I thought as much, too.”
A slow, shadowy smile crossed Casteel’s features. “Did you?”
“Yeah.” A tiny grin pulled at my lips. “He wasn’t too happy about that. Protested a lot.”
“Protested too much?” Kieran said.
I nodded. “I think he believed he was doing the right thing, but I think he wanted to keep his influence, and he wanted revenge.”
“That makes sense,” Casteel said. “My father wants retribution, just as Alastir does. Malik wouldn’t have wanted war, and he knew that I don’t either. Both my father and Alastir were impressed with what was done with Spessa’s End.”
“But Alastir didn’t believe it was enough,” I said, recalling how Alastir had responded. “He said it wasn’t enough for your father, either.”
“It hasn’t been,” Casteel admitted. “And Alastir wasn’t a fan of my plan to negotiate. He wants blood from Solis. My father wants the same. Alastir believes that my brother is a lost cause.” He folded his arms over his chest, and I felt the tangy spike of anguish. I started moving to him to take away his pain. I forced myself to stop because he had asked me once before not to do that. I clasped my hands together as he continued. “And perhaps he thought with Gianna as my bride, he would be able to wield his influence.”
Gianna.
I wasn’t sure what to think of the female wolven I’d never met or seen, as far as I knew. Casteel had never intended to marry her, and according to him, she hadn’t shown any interest in him, either. She wasn’t to blame for what his father or Alastir wanted. At least, that was what I kept telling myself. Alastir hadn’t mentioned her at all.
“Whatever his motivations were,” Kieran said, “it really doesn’t matter now.”
I supposed it didn’t. Because Casteel had found him, and I knew the wolven no longer breathed.
Casteel came forward then, kneeling in front of me. He took my hands, and as I stared down at him, I felt his anger at himself and his family. But his anger for what had been done to me, his concern, overshadowed it. “I’m sorry you had to find out the truth like that.” He picked up my hands, holding them in his. “I can’t imagine what you must have felt.”
“I wanted to kill him,” I admitted. He lowered his lips to my hands, kissing the top of both of them. “Well, Princess, do you remember when I said I would give you whatever you wanted?”
“Yeah?”
He smiled again, and this time, it was a smile that promised blood. “Alastir is still alive.”
“What?” I whispered.
“We made sure he was imprisoned before we headed to the Wastelands,” Kieran said. “We figured it was best to keep him alive just in case we didn’t get to you in time.”
Casteel’s gaze captured mine. “He’s all yours, Poppy.”
I learned that we w
ould travel straight through the Skotos, not stopping. According to Kieran, we would reach the other side by nightfall because of how close we already were to the mountains. I was relieved to hear that as I didn’t look forward to spending another night in the mountains with the mist. The fact that I’d almost walked off a cliff the last time still haunted me, and I really didn’t need a repeat of that right now.
My mind was still skipping all over the place when Kieran left to ready the rest of the wolven and the Atlantians who remained—my memories jumping from one discovery to another. There were three things I was not thinking about as I made use of the small bathing chamber and returned to the sparse room.
The immortality thing and everything with that. Surprisingly, it wasn’t hard not to think about it because I didn’t feel any different than I had before the bolt struck me in the chest. And I didn’t think I looked any differently. There was no mirror in the bathing chamber to confirm, but Casteel hadn’t mentioned anything. I felt like myself.
I wasn’t allowing myself to think about the whole Queen thing, either, which was something neither Kieran nor Casteel had brought up, thank the gods. I would have probably ended up in the corner of the hunting cabin if they had.
The third thing, I was failing at not thinking about. Who Alastir claimed I was related to kept popping up in my head every couple of moments. I watched Casteel pull on a thick tunic. Did he know? Had Alastir told him when he captured the wolven? Maybe he hadn’t. I didn’t have to say anything. If Casteel didn’t know, that was probably for the best. Because how would he feel to know that he was married to the descendant of the King who’d nearly destroyed Atlantia? And his mother? My stomach twisted and churned. What would she think?
Or did she already know? Was that why she had asked Casteel what he’d brought home with him? King Valyn had fought beside him, but that didn’t mean he didn’t know. Alastir had arrived before us, and even if his parents hadn’t been involved, they still could know who I was related to.
And his father… I remembered him shouting at Casteel to stop—to not give me his blood. His father had known what Casteel had been about to do, and gods, it was what Malec had done all those hundreds of years ago, turning his mistress Isbeth into the first vampry out of an act of desperation.
It was like a tragic replay of history, except I hadn’t become a vampry.
But King Valyn didn’t know that.
“Where is your father?” I asked as I picked up one of the boots Jasper had found.
“Emil and a few others escorted him back to Atlantia. They’re currently keeping him under watch,” he answered.
I looked up from my boot. “Do you think that’s necessary? To keep him under watch?”
Casteel nodded as he sheathed one of his swords at his side. “He’s most likely under the assumption that I’ve turned you into a vampry,” he parroted my earlier thoughts. “If we just sent him back to Atlantia, he would’ve immediately come back here.”
“To do what?” I pulled on the soft, worn leather boot. It was a little snug around the calf but would work. “Cut off my head?” I asked, only half-joking.
“He would try and die trying,” he stated bluntly.
I froze. “Casteel—”
“I know that sounds harsh.” He bent, swiped up the other boot, and brought it over to where I sat on the edge of the wooden chair. “But even if you were a bloodthirsty Ascended, trying to rip the throats out of everyone who came near you, I would still destroy anyone who sought to harm you.”
My heart skipped a beat and turned over heavily as I stared up at him. “I don’t know if I should be worried about that or flattered.”
“Let’s go with flattered.” He knelt, holding my boot. “And be thankful that it won’t come to that. When he sees you, he’ll know you haven’t Ascended—at least not into a vampry.”
But into what? I hoped he or someone could answer. “I can put my own shoes on.”
“I know. But it makes me feel useful. Let me be useful, please.”
“Only because you said, ‘please,’” I murmured, lifting my leg.
He sent me a quick grin. “How are you feeling? Honestly? And I’m not talking about just physically.”
I held still as he slid the shaft of the boot up. “I…I’m okay,” I said, staring at the dark locks on his bowed head. “It’s just a bit weird because I…I feel the same. I don’t feel like anything has changed. I mean, maybe nothing really changed?” I said. “Maybe you just healed me—”
“I didn’t just heal you, Poppy.” He looked up at me as he tugged the boot into place. “Your heart stopped. If I had been a second or two too slow, you would’ve passed on.” His gaze held mine as my stomach dipped. “You don’t feel the same.”
I gripped the edge of the chair. “I really don’t understand what that means. I feel the same.”
“It’s hard to explain, but it’s like a combination of scent and instinct.” He placed his hands on my knees. “When I touch you, I recognize the feel of your skin in my soul and in my heart. You are still Poppy, but I don’t sense mortal blood in your veins, and you no longer feel the same on an instinctual level.”
“Oh,” I whispered.
He stared at me for a moment. “Is that all you really have to say to that?”
“It’s all I can come up with now.”
His gaze searched mine as he nodded. “I can’t even begin to imagine all the things that must be racing through your mind right now.”
I coughed out a dry laugh. “So much. Some of it I can sort of table for later to freak out over. But…”
“What?” Casteel prodded quietly.
I opened my mouth, then closed it, and then tried again. A part of me still wanted to remain quiet, to not bring up King Malec, but I…I didn’t want anything unspoken to linger between us. Not after what had happened. Not after what he’d risked for me. Not after we’d come so close to losing each other.
And even if what I had to say shocked him, I couldn’t believe that it would drive a wedge between us. We were…together. We were too strong for that.
My grip tightened on the edge of the chair. “Did Alastir say anything to you when you caught up with him? About me? Other than the whole I’m-a-danger-to-Atlantia thing—which I’m sure he said.”
“He said some things,” he told me. “But there wasn’t a lot of time, nor was I in the mood to listen to much beyond what I needed to know to find you.” He squeezed my knees. “Why?”
I swallowed thickly. “He told me that I was descended from Nyktos and that I…I’m also descended from King Malec.”
No wave of shock or horror radiated off Casteel as he stared at me. “He said as much to me, too.”
“He did?” When Casteel nodded, I asked, “And that doesn’t bother you?”
His brows lowered. “Why would that bother me?”
“Why?” I repeated, a little dumbfounded. “He was the one who created the first vampry. He betrayed your mother—”
“Yeah, he did those things. Not you.” He slid his hands off my knees and placed them over mine. Slowly, he pried my fingers loose. “We don’t even know if that’s true.”
“He said that Malec’s abilities were a lot like mine—that he could heal with his touch and use his abilities to hurt people without even touching them,” I said.
“I’ve never heard that.” Casteel threaded his fingers through mine.
“He said that only a few people knew what he was truly capable of. That your parents did.”
“Then we need them to confirm it.”
I tensed. “Your mother—”
“My mother will not hold who you are descended from against you,” he interrupted. “It may be a shock to her. It may even make her think of things she has worked to forget, but she will not hold you responsible for what someone distantly related to you did.”
I wanted so badly to believe that. And maybe he was right. He knew his mother, but how she’d stared at me when she first saw me k
ept replaying in my head as well as what she’d said. But that could’ve just been shock. “Why haven’t you said anything about that?”
“Because I honestly didn’t think it mattered,” he said, and the sincerity of his words tasted like vanilla. “I had no idea if he said it to you or if it’s true. To be honest, it doesn’t make sense to me. It doesn’t explain your abilities or how strong they are, as far as I know. Just because you share similar gifts doesn’t mean that you are descended from him.”
Rising, he pulled me from the chair and then looped his arms around my waist. “But even if you do share his bloodline, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change you.” His eyes were a bright amber as he looked down at me. “Did you really think it would bother me?”
“I didn’t think it would come between us,” I admitted. “I just…I don’t want to be related to him. I don’t want to make your mother uncomfortable more than I already have and am going to.”
“I can understand that, but you know what?” He dropped his forehead to mine. “I’m not worried about how she’ll feel. I’m concerned about you—about everything that has happened to you. You have been so damn strong. You were attacked, taken captive, and then you almost lost your life.” He placed a hand against my cheek, just over the scars there. “We have no idea why you haven’t Ascended, or if you did and we just don’t know into what yet. And, on top of all of that, you have had one shock after another—from learning the truth about the Ascended, to fearing for your brother and Tawny, to now learning that you have god’s blood in you.
The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood And Ash Series Book 3) Page 14