“You know how you said it was weird to be a Queen to the wolven but not be a wolven?” Cas said after a few moments. “It made me think of how when I met you, I was looking for the Maiden, but I found a Princess, a Queen—my wife.” He laughed, and it sounded as if it were one of awe. “I don’t know. It just made me think about how you find things you never knew you needed when you’re looking for something completely opposite.”
“Or not looking at all,” I said, my nose scrunching. “Or maybe I was looking. I went to the Red Pearl that night because I wanted to live. And I found you.”
He curled his arms around me, tightening his embrace. A couple of additional moments passed as we watched the wolven around the fire. “What would you want to be doing right now if you could be doing anything? Barring seeing your brother or anything that has to do with what we need to do.”
My brows rose at the unexpected question. Letting my senses stretch out to him, I felt a boyish sense of curiosity, one that brought a grin to my face. I didn’t even have to think about it. “This. You?”
“I’m being serious,” he said.
“I am, too. I would want to be doing this—all that we’ve done today,” I said. “You?”
“The same,” he said quietly, and I knew he spoke the truth. “But with you naked and more sex.”
I laughed loudly at that because I also sensed that to be true. “I’m glad that I chose to spend right now this way.”
“Me, too.” He pressed his lips to my cheek.
I really didn’t know when we would have another day like this one, or at what point there would even be time. But I didn’t want to think of the reasons why it would probably be a while. That wasn’t how I wanted to spend right now, so I watched those dancing around the fire with avid interest, entranced by the joyous frenzy of the dark outlines of their bodies, how they moved from one partner to the next, both male and female, with the kind of reckless abandon I’d shared with Casteel in the garden. What I felt from them could only be described as a release, as if they danced to toss away the chains of what preyed on their minds and souls, and in so doing, found freedom.
A body peeled away from the fire and moved toward us. Sweat glistened off Delano’s bare shoulders as he bowed at the waist. Pale hair tumbled across his forehead as he extended an arm. “Would you like to dance?”
I started to take his hand, but uncertainty filled me. Was it appropriate for me to do so?
Casteel dipped his cheek to mine. “You can dance with him.” His arm loosened around my waist. “You can do whatever you want.”
Do whatever you want.
Four words I hadn’t heard for most of my life. “I…I don’t really know how to dance.”
“No one does,” Delano said, grinning. “Until they do.” He wiggled his fingers. “What do you say, Penellaphe?”
Excitement bubbled up in me as my gaze darted over his shoulder to the figures moving around the bonfire. Do whatever you want. The breath that left me was heady. Twisting, I curled my fingers around Casteel’s chin and pulled his mouth to mine. I kissed him quickly. “I love you, Cas.”
His arm tightened briefly around me. “Have fun.”
Turning back to Delano, I placed my hand in his. “Poppy,” I told him. “Call me Poppy.”
Smiling, Delano pulled me to my feet. “Then let’s dance, Poppy.”
Stomach skipping, I followed him toward the rippling flames. Delano turned to me as the warmth of the fire pressed against my skin.
“I really don’t know how to dance,” I told him apologetically.
“Look around us.” Keeping his fingers wrapped around mine, he picked up my hand and placed it on his hip before resting his on my waist. “Do they look like they know how to dance? Or do they look like they’re having fun?”
Glancing around, I saw nothing like what I saw when I’d snuck through the back halls to spy on the balls held in the Great Hall of Castle Teerman. There were no rigid movements, nor was everyone paired with someone. A girl with long, blonde hair danced alone, her arms stretched above her head as her hips moved with the tempo. A brown-skinned man also danced alone, his body moving with fluid grace. Couples spun around each other, and others danced so close to one another it was difficult to tell where one body ended and the other began. I spied Kieran with the dark-haired female. With her golden-brown arms twined around his neck, they were one of the couples who danced so close that tongues would’ve been wagging in Masadonia. Kieran lifted the female, spinning her as she threw her head back and laughed.
“What do you see?” Delano prodded.
Dragging my gaze from them, I looked up at him. “They’re having fun.”
He smiled. “You can do that, right?”
I peeked over to where Casteel sat on the plush blanket, one arm resting on a bent knee as he watched us. A tiny part of me wasn’t sure I knew how to have fun, but I…I’d had fun today. I’d had fun when Tawny and I had snuck out together to visit the lake. I hadn’t been thinking about having fun those times. I was just…living. And that was the key, wasn’t it? To not overthink and to just live.
I looked up at Delano. “I can.”
“I know.” His smile widened, and then he started to move, taking small, swaying steps to our left and then the right. I followed him.
His steps were far surer, while mine were rigid, and I was sure I looked foolish, my arms stiff and cockeyed as I clutched his hand. Others moved faster around us, but as we continued dancing in our little circle, I realized that each of his steps was in tune with the steady beat of the drum. My muscles loosened, as did my grip on his hand. Delano stepped back, lifting our connected arms. The skirt of my gown billowed around my legs as he spun me. The hum in my chest sparked as my hair lifted from my shoulders when he turned me again. A quiet laugh escaped me, and then a louder one as he raised our arms once more and spun himself. His hand came back to my waist, and we moved faster in our little circle, swirling around the fire.
The hum in my chest found my blood as the hem of my gown twirled around my ankles. A new hand closed around mine as Delano let go. Whirling, I found myself held by Kieran.
I grinned up at him. “Hi.”
His lips curved up. “Hello, Poppy.” He stepped back, spinning me. I stumbled, laughing as he caught me. “You surprise me.”
“Why?” I asked as we moved around the flames.
“I didn’t think you’d dance,” he said, pulling me to his damp chest. “You honor us by doing so.”
Before I could even begin to question why that would be an honor, Kieran spun me out, and another hand folded around mine. I turned to find that it was Lyra who now danced with me. We were nearly as close as she and Kieran had been, her legging-clad thighs brushing mine with every sway of her hips. Taking hold of my other hand, we moved together around the fire. Strands of hair stuck to my neck and temples as we weaved in and out of those flowing with the beat around the fire, each spinning into different partners. On and on, I danced, both with people I didn’t recognize and those I knew, and all the while, that buzz in my chest and my blood vibrated in my skin. My head tipped back, my face exposed to the flames and moonlight as I was whirled into Delano’s arms and then into Kieran’s, who lifted my feet from the sand. Grasping his shoulders, I laughed as he turned us around and around.
“Someone is jealous,” he said when my feet touched the sand once more. We spun—
Kieran’s chuckle tickled my cheek as Casteel snagged me by the waist. I all but fell into him as he said, “I am definitely getting jealous.”
“No, you’re not.” All I felt from him was smoky spice. “You’re…”
“What?” he asked as he led me away from the fire, the dancers, and back into the moonlight-flecked shadows.
Breathless, I followed on tingling feet. “You’re turned on.”
He dipped his head, pressing his forehead to mine. “When am I not turned on around you?”
I laughed softly. “Good question.”
&
nbsp; “Admittedly, I am more turned on than usual.” He drew me down onto the thick blanket, pulling my back to his chest. “It’s your fault, though.”
“How is it my fault?” I wiggled back, grinning as I heard him groan.
“It’s your laugh.” His lips brushed the damp skin of my neck. “I’ll never get used to hearing it or thinking you do it enough.” His chest rose sharply against my back, and I sensed something raw and sharp from deep within him. “After everything that happened with Shea and my brother, I honest to gods never thought a laugh could wreck me like yours does. And when I say it wrecks me, I mean in the best way—in the most complete way. And I…” A shaky breath left him. “I just want to thank you for that.”
“You’re thanking me?” I twisted as far as I could in his embrace, searching for his gaze and finding it. “I should be thanking you. It is you who made it possible for me to laugh without recourse.”
He dropped his forehead to my temple. “Yeah?”
“Yes,” I said, curling my hand around the back of his neck. “I’m living because of you, Cas, and I mean that both literally and figuratively. You think you’re not worthy of me? In reality, I sometimes wonder if I’m not worthy of you.”
“Poppy—”
“It’s true.” I squeezed the back of his neck. “Nothing you say can change that, but I know. I know in here.” I pressed my palm to my chest. “That I would do anything for you. I know you would do anything for me. You have, and nothing in this realm or any other will ever change that or how I feel about you. Nothing should ever make you forget that I laugh because of you.”
Shuddering, he pressed his lips to my temple and then folded one arm around my waist, resting his hand on my hip, where his fingers traced idle circles. He didn’t say anything as he rested his chin atop my head, and neither did I. Words weren’t always needed, and inherently, I knew this was one of those moments.
We just were as I watched those dancing around the fire break into smaller groups, some drifting out toward where the waves ebbed and flowed over the sand, and others into the canopied tents. I caught sight of Kieran once more. He was with who we thought was Lyra. Or at least I thought so. I honestly couldn’t be sure. His arm was around the woman’s shoulders, his head bent toward hers as they walked into the shadows of the bluffs.
I looked away, watching those who were still at the fire for a couple of minutes before I glanced back toward the bluffs.
My lips parted. I had no idea how Kieran and the female had gotten from where I’d last seen them to him leaning back in the sand and her kneeling between his legs, her hands in the general vicinity of an area that would definitely be considered naughty.
“Are they…?” I sucked in a sharp breath as Kieran’s head fell back. My eyes widened.
Casteel’s chuckle was dark and soft. “Do you still need me to answer that question?”
I swallowed. “No.”
The hand at my hip continued moving in small, distracting circles as I watched who I thought might be Lyra move her head back and forth in a way that reminded me of how I moved against Casteel.
“Are you scandalized?” Casteel whispered.
Was I? I wasn’t sure. Maybe I should be because I definitely shouldn’t be watching. Every single social propriety there was, demanded that I look away and pretend that I had no idea what they were doing. But I did know. I’d read about the act Lyra was engaging in now in Miss Willa’s diary. My heart thumped heavily. It was like when Casteel kissed me between the thighs, except the way Willa had described it, there was less kissing and licking, and more…sucking. That whole act had confused me greatly when I first read about it, but that was before I had learned that there were all kinds of acts one could do with any number of body parts.
“I’ll take your non-answer as a no?” Casteel queried.
Feeling my cheeks warm, I dragged my gaze to the fire where people sat and talked, either unaware of what was happening in the shadows or not caring. “You did say the wolven were into public displays of affection.”
He laughed again. “I did, and they are very open with their…affections. They feel no shame in doing so. I’m sure at some point you will definitely see a bare ass or two.”
I liked that they felt no shame, possibly never even knowing the sourness of that emotion attached to such actions. There was an enviable freedom in that, to exist and be so free and open.
“If it makes you uncomfortable, don’t feel embarrassed to say so,” Casteel said quietly. “We don’t have to stay, and we can leave whenever you want.”
His offer tugged on my heart, and I turned my head, kissing the underside of his jaw. “Thank you for saying that, but I’m not uncomfortable.”
“Okay,” he said, tilting his head and kissing me.
And I really wasn’t as I leaned into Casteel, resting my head against his chest. If there was no shame in their actions, then there was none in my heart.
But I really shouldn’t be watching, and that was exactly what I was doing, my gaze finding where Kieran and Lyra had gone with rather unerring accuracy. I saw Lyra place a hand on his chest, pushing him back as he started to sit up or…reach for her. She was in control of her actions as Kieran retreated to rest on his elbows, a confidence in her as her head moved, a hand following the movements.
I really should have kept my senses locked down when I focused on Lyra, but I felt that control I had assumed was there, mixed with warm smokiness. The warmth in my cheeks increased, flowing down my neck as I shifted, stretching out my leg. My breath caught as Casteel’s fingers moved a scant couple of inches from my hip to the left, still moving in those maddening, tiny circles.
And I really, really shouldn’t have left my senses open when my gaze flicked to Kieran. The spiciness gathered in the back of my throat and low in my body, the place Casteel’s fingers were so dangerously close to. I closed down my senses before I pried any further, but I…
“Poppy?”
“Yes,” I whispered as Lyra seemed to tilt her head, pressing in impossibly close to Kieran’s body.
“Are you watching them?” Casteel asked, his voice full of smoke.
A denial rose to the tip of my tongue.
“If so, you wouldn’t be the only one, nor are they the only ones being watched,” he said, one of his fingers stretching over the thin material of my gown. “They find no shame in any act of affection, whether they are involved in it, casual observers…or more active watchers.”
Active watchers?
My gaze wandered across the rippling canopies and the shadowy depths inside, to where a slender arm beckoned to another who had been seated in the sand outside. The man put the bottle of what he’d been drinking down and rose, bending down as he entered the space under the canopy, where the shadowy outlines of bodies moved in unison. He joined them as Casteel shifted behind me again, leaning forward to slip his hand under where the hem of my gown was gathered at my knees. My heart might have stuttered as he trailed those fingers up the length of my bare skin, somehow managing to keep the skirt of the gown in place. The fingers on his right hand continued creeping lower and lower as I saw the man lower himself behind the one who moved on top. My pulse pounded as Casteel’s fingers hesitated under my gown at the vee of my legs.
A slight tremor of anticipation tinged with uncertainty ran through me, followed by a sharp twist in my very core.
“Poppy, Poppy, Poppy,” Casteel murmured as a finger above the gown reached the sensitive bundle of nerves. “Does what you’re seeing in that tent answer any questions you might have had about how three lovers can enjoy each other?”
Yes? No? I saw the woman who had been riding the man under her still, her back bowing as the man behind her pulled her close to his chest.
“The newcomer is either moving inside her or against her,” Casteel explained as his finger moved in those damn circles above the gown and along the crease of my thigh and hip. “Did Willa’s journal explain the technicalities of that?”
The heat from my skin had entered my veins, stirring up my blood as I nodded. “It did.” I wet my lips. “It sounded like it could be…painful.”
“It can be if not done with care,” he said. “And it appears that they are taking care.”
No one appeared to be in pain, and no one seemed to be paying any attention to where we sat on our blanket. A breathlessness entered me as I slowly inched my thighs apart and asked, “Are they taking part in the Joining?”
“I do not know.” The fingers against my bare skin slid toward the elicit ache. A strangled sound left me as he lazily drew a finger through the gathering wetness there. “A Joining is not required for such acts.”
“Have you—?” I bit down on my lip as his finger pierced my flesh. My entire body jerked, spasmed, just like the three in the tent. I really needed to stop looking.
And, of course, I found myself looking to where Kieran and Lyra were. They were kissing now, but her arm still moved at his hips in a slow rhythm.
“Have I what?”
Pulse thrumming as Cas’s finger slowly plunged in and out of me as he continued worrying the sensitive flesh, I gave up on remaining still before I even started to try. I lifted my hips against his hand as I forced my brain to remember how to form words. “Have you ever done that? What they’re doing under the canopy?”
His lips moved down the side of my throat, tugging gently on the column of my neck. “I have.” He nipped my flesh, wringing a gasp from me. “Does that bother you?”
Some of the passion faded enough for me to ask, “Why would it?”
“The pasts of some haunt the future of others,” he said, his hands stilling.
My brows lowered as my gaze flickered. “You’re over two hundred years old, Cas. I imagine you’ve done all manner of things.”
His fingers moved again. “With all manner of people?”
The way he said that made me giggle. “Yes.” Though my smile faded because I wanted to ask if he’d done that with Shea. A moment later, I realized that I could simply ask the question. So, I did.
Casteel kissed my neck. “No, Poppy. We didn’t.”
The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood And Ash Series Book 3) Page 33