No.
Even though I should’ve known better—should’ve expected this—who I was at my very core rebelled against what she said as a shudder worked its way through me.
Casteel slid his hand across my upper chest, curling his arm around me from behind as he bowed his head to mine. “Poppy,” he whispered.
No.
My chest tightened as sorrow sank its claws so deeply into me, I could taste the bitterness in my throat. I knew better. Casteel had told me that he believed Ian had Ascended. This shouldn’t be news to me, but a part of me had hoped…had prayed that Ian hadn’t. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that it confirmed we either shared one parent—our nameless birth mother—or possibly none at all. I didn’t care about that because he was still my brother. I’d just wanted him to be like me, to have Ascended into something else. Or that he simply hadn’t become a vampry. Then I wouldn’t have to make that choice I’d just spoken to Queen Eloana about.
“I’m sorry,” Vonetta whispered.
The back of my throat burned as I closed my eyes. Images of Ian and me flashed rapidly behind my lids—us collecting shells along the glistening beaches of the Stroud Sea, him older and sitting with me in my bare room in Masadonia, telling me stories of tiny creatures with gossamer wings who lived in the trees. Ian hugging me goodbye before he left for the capital—
And all of that was gone now? Replaced by something that preyed upon others?
Anger and grief rushed through me like a river swelling over its banks. Off in the distance, I heard a wolven’s mournful howl—
Vonetta dropped my hands as another keening wail tore through the air, closer this time. The anger inside me grew. My skin began to hum. That cellular need from earlier, when I realized what could have been done to my birth parents, returned. I wanted to utterly and completely destroy something. I wanted to see those armies that Queen Eloana had spoken of unleashed. I wanted to watch them crest the Skotos Mountains and descend upon Solis, sweeping across the lands, burning everything down. I wanted to be there, beside them—
“Poppy.” Kieran’s voice sounded wrong, scratchy and full of rocks as he touched my arm and then my cheek.
Casteel’s arm tightened around me as he pressed his front to my back. “It’s okay.” He folded his other arm around my waist. “It’s all right. Just take a deep breath,” he ordered quietly. “You’re calling the wolven.” A pause. “And you’re starting to glow.”
It took a moment for Casteel’s voice to reach me, for his words to make sense. The wolven…they were reacting to me—to the rage seeping into my every pore. My heart tripped over itself as the need for retribution gnawed at my insides. That feeling—that power it invoked…it terrified me.
I did what Casteel had ordered, forcing myself to take a deep breath and breathe through the way it scalded my throat and lungs. I didn’t want that, to see anything burn. I just wanted my brother, and I wanted the Ascended unable to do this to another person.
The deep breaths cleared the blood-drenched fog from my thoughts. As clarity arrived, so did the realization that there was still a chance that Ian wasn’t completely lost. He was likely only two years into his Ascension, and they trusted him to travel from Carsodonia to Spessa’s End? That had to mean something. That who he was before the Ascension hadn’t been completely erased. The Ascended could control their bloodlust. They could also refuse to feed from those who were unwilling. Ian could be one of them. He could’ve maintained control. There was still hope.
I latched on to that. I had to because it was the only thing that tamped down the rage—the ugly want and need that nearly boiled over inside me. When I opened my eyes to see Vonetta staring at me, her mouth pressed into a thin, tight line, some semblance of calm returned. “I...I didn’t hurt you?” I glanced at Kieran, seeing that he, too, was paler than usual. I didn’t hear the wolven, but I saw Lyra and the other three wolven crouched behind Casteel’s parents as if they were waiting for a command. My gaze swept back to Vonetta. “Did I?”
She shook her head. “No. No. I just…” She let out a ragged breath. “That was wild.”
The tense lines of Kieran’s features eased. “You were very angry.”
“You could feel that?” Casteel asked over the top of my head. “What she was feeling?”
The brother and sister nodded. “Yeah,” Vonetta said, and my stomach flipped. I knew the wolven could sense my emotions, that it could call them, but it had seemed like Lyra and the other wolven were waiting to act. Luckily, I didn’t think Casteel’s parents had been aware of what was happening. “I felt that a couple of days ago. All of us wolven in Spessa’s End did.” Vonetta’s gaze flicked over us while I looked at Lyra. She and the other wolven had relaxed. “I have a lot of questions.”
“Great,” Kieran muttered, and Vonetta shot her brother a dark look.
Casteel lowered his chin to my cheek. “You doing okay?”
I nodded, even though I wasn’t right then. But I would have to be. I placed a hand on his forearm. “I didn’t mean to do that—call to the wolven.” My gaze found Casteel’s parents. Both stood unnaturally still, and at that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to even wonder what they were feeling or thinking. I refocused on Vonetta. “My brother is there? Waiting?”
She nodded. “Him and a group of soldiers.”
“How many?” Casteel’s arms eased from around me, but he kept a hand on my shoulder.
“About a hundred,” she answered. “There were also Royal Knights among them.”
Meaning there were Ascended trained to fight among the mortal soldiers. That also meant that Ian was well protected in case any in Spessa’s End decided to act. I hated the relief I felt. It was wrong, but I couldn’t help it.
“He said he had a message from the Blood Crown,” Vonetta told us. “But that he would only speak with his sister.”
His sister.
My breath caught.
“Did he say anything else?” King Valyn asked.
“He swore that they weren’t there to create more bloodshed,” she explained. “That doing so would start a war that he had come to prevent.”
“That is highly unlikely,” Casteel’s father growled, even as a spark of hope blossomed in me—a tiny, overly optimistic spark of hope.
But I turned to Casteel. “We have to go to Spessa’s End.”
“Wait,” Eloana said, stepping forward. “This needs to be thought over.”
I shook my head. “There is nothing to think about.”
Her gaze found mine. “But there is a lot to think about, Penellaphe.”
I didn’t know if she was talking about the kingdom, the Unseen, or even Casteel and me. It didn’t matter. “No. There is not,” I told her. “My brother is there. I need to see him, and we need to know whatever message the Blood Crown may have for us.”
“I understand your need to see your brother. I do,” she said, and I could feel the truth behind those words—and the empathy that fueled them. “But this isn’t just about you and your needs anymore—”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Casteel cut in, his eyes hardening to chips of amber. “It is about her needs, and they come first.”
“Son,” his father began, “I can respect your desire to care for your wife’s needs, but the kingdom always comes first whether you’re the Prince or the King.”
“It’s a damn shame if you really believe that,” Casteel replied, looking over his shoulder at his father. “Because to me, attending to each other’s needs ensures that the kingdom’s needs can be met. One cannot happen without the other.”
I stared at Casteel. He…gods, there were times I couldn’t believe I’d actually stabbed him in the heart.
This was one of them.
“Spoken like a man in love and not someone who has ever ruled a kingdom,” his father retorted. “Who has very little experience—”
“None of that matters,” his mother interrupted, her irritation nearly as strong as her
grief. “This is likely a trap designed to lure not only one but both of you out.”
“It very well could be, but my brother is just beyond the Skotos Mountains with a message from the Blood Crown. I cannot think of anything else until I see him.” My gaze sought out Casteel’s. “We need to go,” I told him. “I need to go.”
A muscle along Casteel’s jaw ticked. I couldn’t pick up any emotion from him, but he nodded curtly. “We will leave for Spessa’s End,” he announced, and his father cursed. He sent the King a look that brooked no room for argument. “Immediately.”
Casteel’s parents protested—loudly and strongly—but neither of us would be swayed. They weren’t even remotely thrilled when we left the estate, and I didn’t blame them for that. My arrival had pushed the Crown to the edge of chaos, and we would lose vital time by going to Spessa’s End. But there was no way I could have done what the Queen had asked of me if I remained. I wanted to see all I could of Atlantia, but my brother was more important than a gilded crown or a kingdom.
Casteel’s parents would return to the capital, and we would join them there once we returned from Spessa’s End. I knew their decision to go to Evaemon meant that I would have to make my decision then, based on what little I’d seen of Atlantia.
I couldn’t think of any of that now.
As soon as we arrived at the Contous’ home, Kieran and Vonetta went to their parents. Both Jasper and Kirha came to our room, while I quickly braided my hair before shoving a sweater and a heavier tunic into a saddlebag for both Casteel and I, remembering how cold it could get in the Skotos Mountains. On the way out, I stopped at the wardrobe, grabbing an extra shirt for both of us, each in black, and another pair of breeches for him just in case our clothing became soiled…or bloodied.
Which seemed to happen a lot.
“The wolven will travel with you,” Kirha said as I entered the sitting room. She sat in the chair Jasper had occupied the night before. He now stood behind his wife. “That’s the only way to ensure the trap fails—if this is a trap.”
“How many?” Casteel asked as he took the saddlebag from me. His brows flew up as he glanced down at the leather bag. “What did you pack in here? A small child?”
I frowned. “Only a change of clothing.” He looked at me doubtfully. “Or two.”
A lopsided grin appeared.
“At least a dozen and a half can be ready to leave immediately. Maybe a little more. Kieran is wrangling them now,” Jasper said. “And that’s not including my children and me.”
“You’re coming with us?” I turned to them. “And Vonetta? She just arrived, didn’t she?”
“I told her she could stay,” Kirha said, shifting in the seat as if she sought a more comfortable position. “That she could sit this one out. But she refused. Spessa’s End has become a part of her heart, and she doesn’t want to be away while the Ascended are camped outside their walls. She is showering now, just so, you know, she can become filthy all over again.”
I cracked a grin at that. I didn’t know how she could make that trip again. I honestly didn’t know how Kieran had done it twice when Spessa’s End had been under siege, but I was still surprised that Jasper would make the trip. I was unsure of how to tactfully point out that his wife was super pregnant.
“Do not worry about me. I will be fine,” Kirha said, winking when my eyes widened. “I’m not going to have this baby in the next week or so. Jasper will be here for the birth.”
The silver-haired wolven nodded. “Besides, I don’t think we will be gone all that long. I’m guessing we will travel straight through the mountains.”
I looked at Casteel. He nodded. “Doing so would mean we’d arrive a few hours before nightfall tomorrow. It will give us some time to check out what they potentially have planned and for us to rest.”
“It’s going to be a hard and fast journey but more than doable,” Jasper stated. “Meet you at the stables in a few?”
Casteel agreed, and I watched Jasper help his wife stand. When the door closed behind them, I said, “I wish Jasper didn’t feel like he has to go with us—not when Kirha is so close to giving birth.”
“If he believed for one second that she would have that baby in the next couple of days, he wouldn’t leave,” Casteel explained. “I wouldn’t worry about that or Vonetta. She wouldn’t make the trip again if she didn’t think she could handle it.” The sound of a saddlebag snapping closed sounded. “What did my mother want to discuss with you?”
“The future of the kingdom,” I said, turning to him. Knowing that we only had a handful of minutes to discuss things, I gave him a quick rundown. “She said that the Atlantian armies were preparing to enter Solis. Did your father tell you that?”
“He did.” That muscle flexed in his jaw again. “I knew he was planning this. However, I didn’t know how advanced those plans had become. From what I could gather from speaking with him, half of the Elders are in agreement. It’s not that he wants to go to war. It’s that he sees no other choice.”
Crossing my arms, I stared out the terrace doors. “And you still do?”
“I believe it’s worth a shot. I believe it is more than that.”
I was relieved to hear that. “Your mother wanted me to take the next couple of days to travel to Evaemon and see the city before I made my choice about the Crown. She told me that her generation is incapable of giving the Ascended a chance because of what they’ve lived through. That it would have to be us who took that risk. She seemed…supportive of me taking the Crown. That it would be what is best for the kingdom,” I said, looking back at him. He watched me closely, and I registered no shock from him. “This doesn’t surprise you?”
“No.” A lock of wavy hair fell over his forehead. “She has always put the kingdom first, over her own needs.”
“And you truly believe that isn’t what makes a good King and Queen?”
“My parents have ruled Atlantia fairly and have done the best they can—better than anyone else could have. Maybe I’m biased in believing that, but whatever. Personally, I don’t believe that an unhappy or distracted King or Queen makes for a good ruler,” he told me. “And you wouldn’t have been able to enjoy any of your time spent exploring Atlantia if you chose not to go to your brother. It would be the same for me if I learned that Malik was near. I would have to go to him.”
How well he knew me never failed to amaze me, and he couldn’t read my emotions.
“Besides,” he continued, “we plan to negotiate with the Blood Crown. If they have a message, we need to hear it.”
Nodding, I turned back to the terrace doors, watching the vines move gently in the salty breeze. “What does your father think of us—of us and the Crown?”
“He doesn’t know what to think. He’s more…reserved than my mother when it comes to revealing what he is thinking,” Casteel said. “Always has been, but he knows that if you claim the Crown, there is little he or the Elders can do.”
Chapter 31
As we left Saion’s Cove and passed through the Pillars of Atlantia once more, we caught Vonetta up on all that had happened since we’d last seen her. The sorrow she felt for Beckett lingered long after she’d taken her wolven form, and we crossed the meadow of flowers.
The journey to Spessa’s End was as hard and fast as Jasper had warned, much more brutal than when we’d crossed over from the Wastelands. Under the canopy of red leaves, we stopped only to take care of personal needs and allow Setti and the wolven to rest and eat.
I busied myself by seeking out each wolven I caught sight of and reading their imprints. Vonetta reminded me of her brother, woodsy. But instead of cedar, her imprint was like white oak—and vanilla. Her father reminded me of rich soil and cut grass—an earthy, minty feeling. Others were similar, reminding me of cold mountains and warm waters. I followed each of their imprints, repeating it over and over until all I needed to do was look at one of them to find their imprint. When I spoke to Vonetta through the cord the first time, I mi
ght’ve given her a small heart attack.
We crested the mountains as night fell, and the mist…it was different. Only thin vapors trailed along the moss-blanketed ground instead of the thick mist that obscured the trees and the steep drops.
“I think it’s you,” Casteel had said as Setti rushed on. “You said you thought the mist reacted to you before. You were right. It must’ve recognized your blood.”
In the darkness, I’d looked for Kieran, hoping he was close enough to hear that I had been right about the mist when we traveled through it the first time.
Because the mist didn’t slow us down, we were able to continue through the night, making it farther than we’d thought we would by the time gray light filtered through the leaves.
The muscles in my legs ached as we cleared the Skotos, following Vonetta as we traveled through the valley. I couldn’t imagine how any of the wolven or Setti were still able to keep going. I couldn’t even figure out how Casteel’s hold on me hadn’t slackened even once during the trip. His grip and the anxiety of knowing I would see my brother soon were the only things keeping me sitting upright.
We reached Spessa’s End several hours before nightfall. Riding through the heavily wooded area skirting the east wall, we entered the town through a hidden gate, unknown to anyone who may be camped outside the northern wall.
My stomach began to twist and roil with anxiety as the sun followed us across the courtyard, where Coulton ambled out of the stables, dragging a white handkerchief over his bald head. The older wolven gave us a grimace of a smile as he caught hold of Setti’s halter. “I wish I was seeing you two under better circumstances.”
“As do I,” Casteel agreed, and I spotted several Guardians garbed in black among others stationed on the wall. Those who were attempting to make a home at Spessa’s End were on the wall.
Shoving the handkerchief into his back pocket, Coulton offered his hand in assistance. I took it, noting the slight widening of the man’s nostrils. “Now I know why I felt that zap,” he said, squinting up at me. “Meyaah Liessa.”
The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood And Ash Series Book 3) Page 41