“I don’t.”
My hands started to tremble, so I folded them between my knees. “I have no idea how to rule a kingdom, but I know that can be learned. You said so. Your mother said so. I don’t know if I’m ready for that, or if I would ultimately make a good Queen, but I want to make things better for the people in Solis and in Atlantia. I keep thinking about how the Ascended need to be stopped. I know that needs to happen, and that has to mean something, right? And I have to believe that being able to possibly prevent war is worth figuring that out. People’s lives are worth that, including my brother’s. You’d be by my side. We’d rule together, and we’d have your parents to help us.” And maybe I would come to love Atlantia as deeply as he and his parents did. It already felt like home to me, so it was possible. But there was also a little guilt. I wanted his mother to approve of why I decided to take the Crown. I swallowed, but a knot remained in my throat. “That is if you want this. If you can be happy with this. I don’t want you to feel forced into it,” I said as he took a quiet step toward me. “I know you said that part of you knew it would happen eventually, but I want you to know for sure that this is what you want and not…not do it just because I’m choosing this,” I finished, watching him and waiting for a response. When he stopped before me, saying nothing, the knot expanded in my throat. “Are you going to say something?”
Casteel knelt in front of me, resting a knee in the sand. “I told you before that if you wanted the Crown, I would support it. I would be right there with you. That hasn’t changed.”
“But what do you want?” I insisted.
He placed his hands on my knees. “This isn’t about me or what I want.”
“Bullshit,” I exclaimed.
Casteel laughed. “I’m sorry.” He dipped his chin, grinning. “You’re just adorable when you curse.”
“That’s weird, but whatever. It’s not just about me.”
“It’s about you because I know what ruling a kingdom entails. I grew up with a Queen as a mother and a King as a father. I also grew up knowing that I could ascend to the throne.” Golden eyes met mine. “Even though I’ve held off assuming the role, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to be King.”
“I know,” I said quietly. “It was because of your brother.”
“I know I can do this. I know you can. But it’s not such a shock to me.” Casteel worked his fingers between my knees, releasing my hands. He held them loosely in his. “I want to protect my people and the kingdom, and if sitting on that throne will do that, then it’s what I want. But,” he stressed, “I want you to have the choice—the freedom. I also want you to know that you don’t have to justify or explain your reasons for taking the Crown. Not to me. Not to my mother. And there is no one right reason, as long as it is your choice. So,” he said, running his thumbs over my knuckles, “is it your choice to take the Crown?”
My heart skipped a beat. “It is,” I whispered. It was only two words, but they were life-altering and terrifying, and it was strange. To think that before I could remember being called the Maiden, forces had been at play that strove to stop this very moment from happening. There was a bittersweetness to this, but there was also a sense of…rightness that buzzed through my veins, in the blood of the gods. Like what I felt when I first stood at the Chambers. I almost expected the ground to tremble and the skies to open.
All that happened was Casteel bowing his head as he drew our joined hands to his heart. “My Queen,” he murmured, lashes sweeping up as his eyes met mine. And that connection—the one tied to my heart and soul was just as life-changing. “I guess I will have to stop calling you Princess.”
My lips twitched. “You’ve barely called me that since we got here.”
“You noticed?” His brows rose as he kissed my hands. “Didn’t feel right calling a Queen a Princess. Didn’t matter if you never took the Crown.”
“You’re being sweet again.”
“Are you going to cry?”
“I don’t know.”
Chuckling, he let go of my hands and stretched up, cupping my cheeks. “You’re sure about this?”
My heart gave another leap. “I am.” Something occurred to me. “I want the crest changed. I want the arrow and sword to be equal.”
His dimples appeared then. “I like the sound of that.”
I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay.”
“Okay,” he repeated, nodding. “We need to rest here for the night, but I’ll send someone ahead of us to Evaemon. Tomorrow, we will leave for the capital.”
Where we would take the Crown.
And then we would travel to Iliseeum and wake the King of Gods.
“You’ve got to let go, baby. You need to hide, Poppy—” Momma stilled, and then she wrenched her arm free, reaching inside her boot. She pulled something out, something black as night and slender and sharp. She moved so fast—faster than I’d ever seen her move, spinning around as she rose, the black spike in her hand.
“How could you do this?” Momma demanded as I scooted to the edge of the cupboard.
A…a man stood a few feet from her, cloaked in scary shadows. “I’m sorry.”
“So am I.” Momma swung out, but the shadow man caught her arm.
“Momma!” I screamed, and glass cracked.
Her head jerked around. “Run. Run—”
Glass shattered, and the night spilled into the kitchen, tumbling down the wall and hitting the floor. I froze, unable to move as the gray-skinned creatures rose, their sunken bodies and red-smeared mouths scaring me. They swarmed the kitchen, and I couldn’t see her. “Momma!”
Bodies snapped in my direction. Mouths dropped open. Shrill howls ripped through the air. Bony, cold fingers pressed into my leg. I screamed as I scrambled back inside the cupboard—
“Shit,” the dark man cursed, and a spray of something rotten hit my face. The thing let go of my leg. I started to twist away, but the shadow man reached inside the cupboard, grabbing my arm. “Gods, help me,” he muttered, yanking me out.
Panicked, I pulled at his grip as those things came at him. He swept out an arm. I twisted, struggling. My foot slipped in the wetness. I turned sideways—
Momma was there, her face streaked with red. She thrust that black spike into the center of the shadow man’s chest. He grunted out a bad word. His grip loosened and slipped away as he fell backward. “Run, Poppy,” Momma gasped. “Run.”
I ran. I ran toward her—
“Momma—” Claws caught my hair, scratched my skin, burning me like the time I’d reached for the kettle. I screamed, straining for Momma, but I couldn’t see her in the twining mass on the floor. Teeth sank into my arm as Papa’s friend silently backed away. Fiery pain roared through me, seizing my lungs and my body—
What a pretty little flower.
What a pretty poppy.
Pick it and watch it bleed.
Not so pretty any longer...
I jerked awake, a scream burning the back of my throat as my wide-eyed gaze swept across the dark bedchamber.
“Poppy,” Casteel called, his voice thick with sleep. A second later, his chest pressed into my back as he folded an arm around my waist. “It’s okay. You’re safe. You’re here.”
Heart pounding, I stared into the darkness, telling myself that I was in Spessa’s End. I wasn’t trapped in Lockswood, alone and—
My breath caught. “I wasn’t alone.”
“What?”
I swallowed, my throat sore. “There was someone else in that kitchen where I was hiding in the cupboard. Someone my mother knew. I know she did.”
“Alastir—”
“No,” I whispered hoarsely, shaking my head. “It was someone else. He was like…like a shadow, dressed in black.” I twisted in Casteel’s embrace, barely making out his features in the darkness. “He was dressed like the Dark One.”
Chapter 34
Casteel had sent Arden, a wolven from Spessa’s End, ahead of us. He would travel first to S
aion’s Cove and then to Evaemon to alert the King and Queen of our impending arrival.
Casteel let me handle Setti’s reins and guide the horse until we encountered more treacherous terrain. It took us a day and a half to reach the Cove this time, having stopped halfway through the Skotos Mountains to rest. We stayed the night at Jasper and Kirha’s. The seamstress that we’d visited while we explored the city had been able to create several pairs of leggings, tunics, and even a gauzy dress in emerald for me, along with some underclothing. Those items were now packed carefully, and the remaining pieces she worked on would be sent to Evaemon. That night, we shared supper with the Contous, several of the wolven, and Naill and Emil. It had been so normal that it was almost hard to believe that we had just met with Ian and were planning to enter Iliseeum.
And wake the King of Gods.
Or that Casteel and I were about to become King and Queen.
We’d discussed everything with Kirha and Jasper at length when we arrived. We would need to travel to Iliseeum as soon as we could if we hoped to make it to Oak Ambler before we were expected. A group would travel with us—not a large one as Casteel and Kieran had explained that the tunnels could be narrow and cramped. And then from there? Well, we hoped that one of the Elders knew where Nyktos slumbered and that my blood would help us enter unharmed.
But during dinner, we didn’t talk about any of that, even though everyone present knew what was about to happen. Instead, Kirha and Jasper had entertained us with stories about their children and Casteel when they were younger—much to their annoyance and reluctant amusement. I didn’t think I’d ever laughed as much as I had that night. And later, when Casteel and I were alone, I didn’t think it was possible to be loved more thoroughly than I was.
I held onto those two things as we left Saion’s Cove early the next morning, dressed in buttery-soft black leggings and a matching, quarter-length-sleeve tunic that hugged my chest and then flared at the hips. I’d grinned when I saw that she’d left a slit in the right side for me to easily reach my dagger. Jasper remained behind with Kirha, and I was pleasantly surprised to learn that Vonetta would travel with us to Evaemon. I had expected her to stay with her parents or return to Spessa’s End, but she’d said that she wanted to see Casteel’s and my coronation.
She wasn’t the only one.
Dozens of wolven traveled with us, many that I hadn’t met yet, and a few, like Lyra, that I was just getting to know. Emil and Naill were also with us, and listening to those two bicker about everything from the best-tasting whiskey to whether a sword or an arrow was a better weapon was quite entertaining. All were alert, though, just in case the Unseen made an appearance.
The content feeling kept everything at bay, as did my continuous practice with speaking to the wolven through their imprints. Even the nightmare that, if true, possibly confirmed what Alastir had claimed.
That he hadn’t killed my parents.
I couldn’t focus on that as we traveled north through Atlantia. There would be time later to deal with that possibility, but if I’d learned anything in the last several months, it was how to compartmentalize. Or maybe it was just Casteel’s advice not to borrow tomorrow’s problems.
Either way, it wasn’t all that hard to just exist in the hours it took to reach Evaemon because I got a little lost in the beauty of Atlantia—the limestone homes with their terracotta roofs filling the rolling hills, the small farming villages, and the running streams that split the land, rushing from the cloud-capped Mountains of Nyktos that eventually became visible in the distance. One thing quickly became clear as we traveled.
With wooded, untouched land few and far between, no piece of land within the Pillars of Atlantia went unused.
Whether it was the fields plowed for crops or the land used for housing and commerce, Atlantia was running out of space…
Or already had.
Still, the land was beautiful—the homes, shops, and farms. It was all open, from village to city, with no walls separating them nor keeping monstrous creatures at bay. It was how I imagined Solis had once been.
Casteel had once again handed over control of Setti to me, and we continued on that way until we were halfway to Evaemon. We stopped in Tadous for the night, a town that reminded me very much of New Haven. Near the inn, young Atlantian children waved from the windows of a building I learned was similar to that of the schools in Carsodonia, where they learned their history, letters, and numbers in groups according to their age. The difference here was that all children attended, no matter what their parents did for a living. Whereas in Solis, only the children of means could afford to attend.
The temperatures were cooler here. Nothing that required a heavy cloak, but the faint trace of woodsmoke was in the air. We gathered that evening for dinner, ordering from a menu the friendly innkeeper and his wife provided.
Sitting in between Casteel and Kieran at a long banquet table, I scanned the menu while Vonetta sat across from me, laughing at something Delano said to her.
“Would you like to try a casserole?” Kieran offered as he looked over my shoulder. “That’s something we can share.”
“What’s a…casserole?”
Casteel looked over at me, a slow grin spreading across his lips. “Poppy…”
“What?”
“You’ve never had a casserole before?”
My eyes narrowed. “Obviously, not.”
“It’s good,” Kieran explained. “I think you’ll like it.”
“It is,” Vonetta chimed in.
Casteel tugged on a loose strand of my hair. “Especially if there’s a lot of…meat in it.”
I stared at him, immediately suspicious. “Why are you saying it that way?”
“Like what?” he asked.
“Don’t try to play innocent.”
“Me?” He pressed his hand to his heart. “I’m always innocent. I’m just saying I think you will enjoy a meat casserole.”
I didn’t trust him for one second. I twisted toward Kieran. “What is he talking about?”
Kieran frowned. “A meat casserole.”
I looked over at Vonetta and Delano. “Is that true?”
Dark brows lifted as Vonetta glanced at Casteel. “I honestly don’t know what this one is referring to, but I was thinking about a green bean casserole.”
“Oh, man, I haven’t had one of those in forever,” Naill murmured.
Sitting back, I folded my arms across my chest. “I don’t want it.”
“Shame,” Casteel murmured.
“I have a feeling I’m going to want to stab you by the end of the night.”
Kieran snorted. “And how is that different from any other night?”
I sighed. “True.”
Leaning over, Casteel kissed my cheek and then looked at the menu. We ended up settling on roasted vegetables and duck. With my stomach happily full, I moved closer to the empty fireplace and one of the overstuffed chairs with a tall back while Casteel argued with Vonetta about…well, I wasn’t sure what they were arguing about now. Earlier, it had been whether or not yams could be considered sweet potatoes, which was a strange argument, but I had a feeling it wasn’t the most bizarre one they’d had.
They acted like a brother and sister, no matter if they shared blood. Watching them caused my heart to ache with envy. Ian and I could’ve had that, arguing about vegetables. If we’d had a normal life.
But that had been taken from us.
All because I was Malec’s child and carried the blood of the gods in me. It was why I’d been forced to wear the veil and was caged for half of my life under the pretense of being Chosen. In reality, I had been, just not in the way I’d thought.
I no longer believed that there had been another Maiden. That had only been a lie to keep up the ruse. What I didn’t know was what Queen Ileana hoped to gain through this. In a few days shy of a fortnight, I would know. Unease slithered through me like a snake.
But at least some part of the Ian I knew remained
. We could still have that normal life where we argued about vegetables.
Kieran dropped into the chair beside me. “What are you sitting over here thinking about?”
“Nothing,” I replied, and he shot me a knowing look. “Everything.”
He chuckled. “You having second thoughts about your decision?”
“No.” Surprisingly, I wasn’t. Going to Iliseeum? Maybe a little. “Do you think going to Iliseeum is a bad life choice?” I asked as Casteel caught what I thought was a cheese ball thrown by Vonetta.
“If you’d asked me that a year ago and I knew how to enter Iliseeum?” He laughed as he drew his fingers over his forehead. “I would’ve said yes. But now? Ever since my father told us how Iliseeum could be accessed through the tunnels, I’ve been thinking how that is one hell of a coincidence—all those years we spent in them.”
“I have, too,” I admitted, letting my head fall back against the soft cushion of the chair as I looked at him. “It’s just too convenient that you were led there.”
He nodded. “Then that got me thinking about fate. About how all these little things—and the big ones—happened and could’ve been…preordained. As if they were all leading up to this.”
“To me becoming Queen?” I laughed. “I hope you mean something else because that’s a lot of pressure.”
He sent me a grin. “Being Queen is a lot of pressure,” he pointed out.
“Yeah, it is.” I bit down on my lip. “Do you think that’s a bad life choice?”
“If you asked me a year ago—”
“You didn’t know me a year ago, Kieran.”
Dipping his chin, he chuckled and then looked over at me. “Honest to the gods? I think it’s the best choice for you—and for the future of Atlantia and Solis.”
“Well, that makes me feel even more pressured.”
“Sorry.” He slouched in the chair. “But, seriously. Like I was saying earlier, I think things were pointing to this—to something major. You’re doing the right thing.” His gaze found Casteel. “Both of you are.”
The Crown of Gilded Bones (Blood And Ash Series Book 3) Page 45