When Kari stops in front of a set of tall double doors, I give myself a shake. I don’t even remember walking here.
“Once you get your food from the west side of the room, go sit at an empty table on the south, by the windows,” she says, pushing on one of the doors.
“You’re not coming with us?” Calder’s eyes cut to Poe for a split second. “Did you eat already?”
“No. But I lost track of time in the library. I’m supposed to join the high priests and priestesses to meditate about how to help lift your curse.” Kari pushes the door open all the way, revealing a room tinted gold from the sunlight streaming through the arched floor-to-ceiling windows along the far wall. “When you’re finished eating, you’re welcome to go back to the library or explore the grounds. Sometimes when people come here for healing, the spirits have more in mind than they could have imagined.”
An electric current zips down my spine at her words. Can these spirits she speaks of really have plans for me? I’ve only just begun making plans for my own life. I don’t like the idea of that freedom being stripped from me so quickly. While it’s true that my current plans are rather boxed in—all about getting the staff for Elowen before the next full moon—I have at least carved out some things that I want from this world. I want to love and be loved by Calder and Taj for as much time as I have left.
Poe brushes past me to enter the cafeteria, and the skin on my arm tingles where he touches. Ever since our time sparring back at the cabin, I can’t deny I’ve felt a pull toward him. It’s only intensified since last night.
I keep a careful distance between us as our group moves along the rectangular tables weighed down with crusty loaves of bread, fruits, berries, and several varieties of nuts. Silas grumbles something from his place at the end of the line about rabbit food, and I’m too preoccupied with ensuring I don’t accidentally touch Poe as I reach for my selections that I don’t bother responding to the complaint. So what if this meal is vegetarian fare? At least these people are kind enough to feed us.
Poe reaches the end of the buffet tables first. He doesn’t glance at the few dozen robed figures sitting quietly at the occupied tables in the cafeteria’s main area, but I still get the sense he’s studying them as he makes his way toward the nearest table along the windowed wall.
I’m about to follow his path when a hand circles my upper arm. “You all right, love? You seem a touch distracted.”
I shake my head. “No. I’m not. I just…” But the fumbled excuse I was about to trip through dies on my lips when I look in Taj’s eyes. Those dark liquid pools aren’t sharp with accusation; instead, curiosity and worry mix in their depths. The tension knotting my stomach evaporates. This is Taj. I can tell him anything—even if I’m not sure how to put it into words. “Actually, can I talk to you? And Calder.”
At the sound of his name, Calder perks up. “Is this about that thing Silas noticed?”
I’m about to ask what he’s talking about, but the answer is obvious. Silas was right behind Calder in line. It would have been easy for him to make skin-to-skin contact and share his discovery.
A wrinkle forms between Taj’s eyebrows, but I shake my head before he can ask what Calder’s talking about. “No, it’s something else. Can we…” I raise my chin in the direction of the door we entered through.
They both nod, and I lead the way back into the hall. Once there, I can’t help feeling a little silly. We’re all still carrying our plates. But Calder points out a long wooden bench, and the three of us make our way toward it.
My stomach twists and flips as we take our seats. These incredible men have been so good to me. They’ve given me what I want, even when they aren’t sure how it will work. It feels selfish now to even consider wanting more. But if we’re going to make our relationship work, I owe it to both of them to be as honest as possible.
But no matter how hard I try, I can’t make the words come. I open my mouth only to close it again so many times I’m afraid I may have lost the ability to speak at all. I’m not sure how to say it—or even what it is exactly that I want to communicate. After what feels like an eternity, I manage to say, “I need to talk to both of you.”
Calder scoops up my hand and squeezes my fingers. “You can tell us anything.”
The warmth of his palm against mine settles my writhing insides. “I know that. It’s just…”
Taj picks up my free hand. “About Poe?”
Calder’s fingers twitch against mine, but he doesn’t release my hand. When I don’t respond immediately, Taj bobs his head.
I want one of them to speak—to ask a question or give an opinion so I have a better idea how to frame my own thoughts, but they remain silent. They’re probably hoping I’ll go first for the same reason.
I knew going into a relationship with both of these men that there would probably be some awkward conversations eventually. Calder and I have already been through them. And if I learned anything from those talks, it’s that it’s best to be as transparent as possible up front to avoid anyone getting hurt.
“I don’t know what’s going on between Poe and me,” I blurt. “Maybe it’s nothing. Honestly, it’s probably all in my head.”
“Do you…” Calder swallows. “Do you hope it’s all in your head?”
It’s the question I have no idea how to answer. If I find out Poe thinks of me only as a liability in our forced partnership, how will that affect me? As much as I’d like to say I wouldn’t care, I don’t think that’s true. But is the alternative what I desire?
Instead of diving into those murky waters, I switch to the facts. “All I know is I’ve been feeling a kind of pull toward him since we were back at the cabin. It’s like my magic reaches for him sometimes.”
Calder’s nose wrinkles and I fight the urge to release his hand to poke it. “Your magic reaches for him? What does that mean?”
I bite my lower lip, not sure how to explain it. But before I can begin to describe it, Taj is speaking.
“I think I understand. When I’m with Bryn, sometimes it’s like the fire in my veins rushes toward her. It surges under my skin to get closer to her.”
His words make my skin tingle and warm. I know what kind of effect he has on me, but somehow it’s still surprising to learn I have a similar one on him.
Calder’s face scrunches as he processes the information. “This reaching. Does your magic do it when you’re around me and Taj?”
His tone is carefully light and nonchalant, as if the answer has no real bearing on anything. But the slight jerk of his hand against mine belies his casual question.
I squeeze his fingers. “Yes, of course. I guess I should’ve led with that. Really, that’s what’s strange about it. My magic has started reacting toward Poe the way it does to you and Taj. That’s why I wanted to talk to both of you.”
Taj nods like what I’m saying makes sense, but Calder remains rigid beside me.
I swallow around the lump in my throat. “What are you thinking?”
Several silent seconds elapse before Taj clears his throat. “I’m glad you came to us with this,” he says, sounding even more formal and proper than usual. “We need to keep lines of communication open if this is going to—”
“Are you thinking of bringing Poe in on this?” Calder gestures to the three of us with his free hand.
I had a feeling this question was coming, but it still hits me with the force of a freight train. But Taj’s words about open lines of communication strengthen me. “I don’t know.”
“That’s not a ‘no,’” Calder notes.
“No. It’s not.”
He exhales noisily beside me, but doesn’t comment again.
Taj raises my hand to his lips and presses a kiss to my knuckles. The simple gesture is enough to quell the roiling in my stomach. Since I’ve known him, he’s been nothing but giving in our relationship—first with books and conversation, and then with this complicated relationship we’re embarking on. I’m so lucky to h
ave him in my life.
I’m lucky to have Calder, too. He’s made it clear our unconventional relationship is difficult for him to wrap his head around, but he’s willing to try. Maybe it’s not fair to him to mention this tug I’m feeling toward Poe—but it would be worse to keep it to myself.
Calder twists on the bench to face me. “Can you promise me something?”
“Yes. Anything.”
His lips twitch. “I am glad you told us, even if I don’t know what to make of it. But promise me that before anything… happens… we’ll all talk again. This only works if we’re all on the same page.”
I nod. “Absolutely. I mean, who knows? Maybe I’ll wake up tomorrow and my magic will straighten out and that’ll be that.”
“Yeah,” Calder says, unlacing his fingers from mine. “Maybe.”
The three of us are finishing up our meals when Silas and Poe emerge from the cafeteria. Poe’s eyes are narrowed in mild harassment, but I catch a glint of curiosity in Silas’ gaze as he approaches.
“There you are,” Poe grumbles. “Now’s not the greatest time to take off and have a date. We’ve got some strategizing to do.”
A wrinkle forms between Taj’s brows. “What kind of strategizing?”
“You guys didn’t tell him?” Silas asks. “What were you out here talking about then?” Without waiting for an answer, he presses a finger to Taj’s upper arm. Taj’s eyes widen as Silas shares the information about the staff’s location through the mental link.
“We need a plan,” Silas murmurs so quietly I almost miss his words.
“Yes. We can’t afford to go off half-cocked,” Poe agrees. He turns to Taj. “Anything interesting in that library?”
“Plenty,” Taj says.
Poe nods. “Good. You and Calder go back. See if you can dig up any history on the Order. Elowen’s information wasn’t very detailed.”
“I’ll walk the grounds and draw up a map,” Silas volunteers.
I wrack my brain for something useful I could be doing, but I come up short. “What about me?”
The corner of Poe’s mouth twists. “You’ve still got training to do.”
Calder sucks his teeth. “You really think fighting next to a sacred temple is the best idea?”
Although the same question popped into my mind, the set of Calder’s jaw makes me wonder if his argument has less to do with respecting the Order’s grounds and more with me spending time alone with Poe after what I shared.
Poe shrugs. “It’s not sacred to me. Besides, it’s not like we’re going to break anything. And if they ask us to stop, we will. But the fact is, she still needs work if she’s not going to be a liability in battle.”
I roll my shoulders, not sure what is more irritating: Poe speaking about me like I’m not here or his assumption that I’ll be worthless in a fight. The tendrils of my magic remain tightly coiled in the center of my being, and I’m glad for it. Not because if it stops happening it’ll make my life less complicated, but because I hate the idea of feeling at all connected to him when he’s complaining about how much I suck at fighting.
Taj is the first from our bench to stand. He collects plates from Calder and me. “All right, then. I suppose we should get to it.”
I stand, trying not to pout. Would it hurt for Taj to at least try to defend me? But no sooner am I on my feet than Taj leans down to press a kiss to my lips. “Kick his ass, love.”
I giggle until Calder kisses me so hard my toes curl in my shoes. He pulls away, leaving me dizzy as he and Taj make their way back to the library. Silas doesn’t so much as cast a backward glance as he starts on his own recon mission.
“Come on, kitten, let’s get to it,” Poe says, leading me in the opposite direction of the others.
Although I’m not entirely sure where the nearest exit is, Poe leads the way purposefully down hall after hall until we reach a heavy wooden door. The grounds beyond are a beautiful mix of pristine and wild. Broad, flat rocks the size of forge a path across neatly-trimmed grass.
“This looks like a good spot,” Poe says when we come to a flat, open area beyond a decorative fountain. “Now, let’s see if you remember anything I taught you.”
My skin tingles with anticipation as I get into position. My magic coils in my belly, as if waking up at the prospect of being near Poe again. I can’t tell if it’s going to help me flatten his smug smirk, or if the green and gold tendrils twisting in my veins want to wrap around him in ways we both know I shouldn’t.
I don’t know what I want. I don’t even know if it matters. All I know is I can’t ignore this feeling for much longer.
I take a step forward, rolling the dice and letting my magic decide.
Chapter Thirteen
Poe
Less than five minutes into sparring, I regret insisting Bryn needs the practice.
Not that she doesn’t need it. In the time since our last session, she seems to have forgotten everything I taught her about watching her opponent and using his attack against him.
No, I wish I’d kept my yap shut because being close to her is a mental and physical torture unlike anything I’ve endured before. It’s a constant struggle during attacks to keep my hands from straying to the areas of her body they’re itching to explore. And every time I pull in close to her, I have to force my mind not to imagine plundering her mouth to discover whether she tastes as sweet as she smells.
It’s just because of the time we spent pressed up against each other last night, that’s all. I need to clear my head—and my pipes—and I’ll be good as new.
“Again,” I say after yet another failed attempt by Bryn to land a punch on me.
She releases a strangled growl as she regains her footing and returns to her starting position. “Maybe you should lay off using your super shifter speed until I get the mechanics of this down.”
I shake my arms out at my sides and bend my knees to prepare for the next onslaught. “My speed doesn’t matter. You have to anticipate my movements.”
Bryn wrinkles her nose. “I am anticipating your movements. You’re just going too fast for me to hit.”
“If you think I’m too fast, you’re not adequately anticipating my—”
She flies at me before the words are out of my mouth. Blonde hair streaming back from her determined face, she looks like some kind of vindictive angel speeding down from on high to exact retribution for an unspeakable evil.
I haven’t given much thought to how she’s changed since the first time I met her. She was so full of fear the night I attempted to retrieve her for the elders. Everything was new and she didn’t know how to navigate the world she’d been locked away from. But since then, she’s grown into a woman who isn’t afraid to demand what she wants of the world. She’s determined to hold her own against me. Hell, she faced an undine without batting an eye.
As she rushes toward me, I examine the lines and curves of her body. The breeze carries with it her cinnamon scent, making my mouth water. Her hazel eyes burn with an intensity that send the blood flow straight to my dick. What I wouldn’t give to see those eyes locked on mine while the world comes undone around us.
Her fist is already in the air between us when I realize I haven’t taken a single step to block her punch. Letting her hit me now might give her a confidence boost, but I don’t want her to feel good about her progress when she hasn’t actually made any. In a real fight, the person she’s up against isn’t going to care about the supple swell of her breasts or the delicious way her ass and thighs have filled out since she’s had unrestricted access to food. An enemy won’t go easy on her, and neither can I.
As her knuckles brush the fabric of my shirt, I close my fingers around her wrist and jump backward, pulling her off balance. Twisting the two of us in midair, I rotate until I’m above her and pin her to the ground as we land.
She wheezes for several seconds as she tries to suck in a breath. “What the hell was that?” she finally manages. “You didn’t like that I fi
nally got you, so you changed the rules?”
“No. I stayed still and gave you every opportunity to land a shot, and you still missed.” The words come out sharper than I anticipated. I shouldn’t get pissed at her for almost landing the punch. I let myself get distracted. There aren’t many absolutes in battle, but staying focused is number one on that list. I slipped. I let her get under my skin.
And I can’t let it happen again.
I push myself off her and bounce to my feet. “Again.”
She rolls over and pushes herself up on her hands and knees, giving me a tantalizing view of her backside as she rises to her full height. I ball my fists at my sides to keep myself from reaching for her.
Rivers, what’s wrong with me? I’ve never been one to get hung up on a girl—any girl. Even ones who were out of my league in one way or another. And Bryn? She’s out of my universe because she already belongs to two other guys.
“You need to anticipate,” I growl as she moves into position.
“How am I supposed to do that?” Exasperation makes her voice higher than usual. “You tell me the exercise is one thing and then you do another.”
My upper lip curls. “Do I have to define anticipate for you?”
With a feral scream, she runs at me, arms and legs pumping so fast they’re almost a blur. She lowers her head like she plans to ram me.
This isn’t working. She’s tempting me and, in turn, I’m infuriating her. But I can’t very well leave her defenseless. In a perfect world, she would always have unfettered access to her magic. But I’ve been up against enough witches in my time with the elders to know that there are several ways to cut one off from her power. If we end up in a fight against other bounty hunters or more of Mona’s people, she needs to be able to hold her own. I won’t always be around to protect her.
The simple truth hits me harder than anything Bryn could possibly throw at me. One day soon, Bryn will be out of my life. Either we’ll both die—which isn’t preferable—or we’ll get this curse lifted and go our separate ways.
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