by Celie Wells
“No. Thank you, Clara. I'm not hungry,” Jason answered without looking up from his monitor. The images of the recent bombing run, taking his full attention.
“You have to eat something,” Clara stated.
Jason looked up, startled by Clara's tone. “Miss Clara, I can't eat.”
“You think Karine wants you dead? Well, do you?” she insisted.
“No, Ma'am. But I just don't feel like...”
“You don't feel like keeping yourself from looking like a beggar, running around in ragged, dirty clothes, trying to find something else to blow up. You won't eat. You won't wash. Running yourself into the ground won't bring her home any sooner,” she yelled.
Jason stood up and cleared everything off the desk in one swipe sending electronics and papers crashing to the floor. “I don't deserve to eat. I let them take her. I did this to her. She is gone because of me.”
Blood started to saturate the fresh bandages on Jason's arm, slowly pooling into flat circles of red. Clara dropped all that she had gathered from the room on the floor and moved to inspect Jason's arm.
“Just leave it, Miss Clara.”
“No,” Clara stated.
“I can wrap it myself,” Jason protested.
“No, you can't,” she demanded. “Sit still, or I'm going to make you. And since you haven't been eating or taking medicine, the doctor sent home with you. I won't have much trouble doing it.” She growled.
“Yes, Ma'am.” Jason reluctantly sat down on a tufted ottoman pressed against a substantial brown leather couch.
“After we are done here, you can clean up this mess while I get you a full plate. The cook made your favorite pasta for three days straight. We are all getting fairly sick of eating it.”
“Very well,” Jason conceded.
“This will pass—she will return—we will continue our lives with dignity and purpose. Mistakes are made every day. Choose to live and ask for her forgiveness, but do not ask the household that has cared for you since your birth to watch you deliberately harm yourself with neglect.” Clara gathered an arm full of clothes and broken dishes from the floor. “Get to it,” Clara motioned to the mess on the floor. “have a spot ready for a big plate when I return.”
Jason nodded in agreement with Clara as she left the room. Dredge, who had remained in his seat, was grinning and quietly laughing. “Don't cross the women who feed you, Son. There is a reason they have all been here so long. They run this big old house. We just live here.”
“Shit, I guess.” Jason began picking up the scattered items from the desk. “Damn it. I broke my viewer.” Jason picked up pieced of the broken computer from the floor and half-heartedly tried to press it back together.
Dredge patted his hand on Jason's shoulder. “She's right you know. This crisis will end, and then there will be something new, and then something else after that. It's the way of things unfortunately. You have to identify the lulls between the moments of chaos and learn to fully appreciate them.”
Jason leaned his good arm on the table and cradled his head in his hand. “I really do need a steam.”
“You may need two. I would eat and clean up before Clara gathers a group to come make you.” Dredge made his way out of the room and towards the bar where he poured himself a drink.
Dredge watched as Jason picked up the broken items from the floor and put them in a small trash can. Jason pulled a bottle of pills from his pocket and popped one in his mouth before wiping off a spot on the desk for his dinner. Clara arrived with a plate of pasta and meat sauce and a slice of chocolate cake. She took the trash from the room with her when she left.
“That girl better not make a liar out of me, she needs to come home soon,” Clara whispered as Dredge finished the last of his whiskey.
“We're working on it. Tell the staff to expect something very good or very bad in the coming days.” Dredge professed quietly.
“Yes, well. I'll plan only for very good. And I will accept nothing less.” Clara was weeping by the time she left the room.
Dredge poured himself another small glass of provisions for the long trip across the empty house to his bedroom. He could easily remember how dark and empty the house became in the days after his daughter's death. The same dark oppression eagerly crept across the marble floors and clung to the thick draperies waiting for its chance to bloom.
Jason ate his forced dinner plate of pasta and had a measure of hope to pull him into the next day. Light would have to enter the house again soon. Dredge couldn't bring himself to live through the total darkness of crushing grief again.
THE LIVING AND THE DEAD
The evening air that rolled across the old seabed floor was still and warm. Very little wind blew through this protected area of land. Shadows from the day gave way to thick blackness that seemed to grow out of dirt and rock. The Pastor shook my hand and asked me a few banal questions before wishing me well on behalf of his flock.
Next, I was sent to speak with the Priest. The prayers the man recited—I half knew them. The words unpacked themselves from my childhood memories and conjured happier times. I could feel my grandmother’s soft hand holding mine as he waived the incense over my head and wiped my forehead with streaks of oil. We spoke briefly, pleasantries of having a safe trip, and the blessings of returning home to family.
“Thank you. I feel oddly close to my grandparents after hearing the melody in those poems.” I patted the top of the man’s hand and noticed a faded green tattoo of an ancient frog on his wrist. I thought of Difference and the large knife that was held to his throat.
“I’m happy the prayers bring you peace, that is part of their purpose. If I may be bold for a moment, I understand you have an aversion to our more religious lifestyle choices, but would you contemplate this on your journey.
“The things you find unacceptable about my religious beliefs, for example, are oddly like the tenants and laws of the Continental government’s rules and regulations. Could it be that your people have your own religion? A governmental pride-based dogma that took the place of a supreme being in your lives.”
“That is an interesting observation and something I will have plenty of time to think about on my trip home.” The Priest smiled and placed his hand on the top of my head. He whispered something in Latin before bringing his hands down to his sides and motioning for me to move towards the exit.
Chip, the itinerary taskmaster, took my arm and helped me walk out the doorway of the large tent. My old day gear made my frame wider than usual, and my movements very clunky.
“Thank you, Karine. It will bring relief to the people knowing we sent you off with every consideration for your physical body and for the safety of your soul. I don’t suppose you were baptized,” Chip asked.
“I have never told anyone this, but yes. My grandmother took me for ice cream one day, and we saw the theology teacher at his house. He and a small gathering of people poured water on my head, recited some stuff, and told me all my sins were washed away.
I remember how upset I was that I hadn’t taken Beryl’s China doll from her room before we left the house. If my grandmother had told me what she was planning, I would have made full use of the pardon.”
Chip laughed and squeezed my hand. “I’m glad she took you, I’m sure it was in secret, but that doesn’t matter now, your soul is safe.”
“Well, that is good news.” I rolled my eyes at Blue. She put her still manicured thumb to her mouth and bit it lightly to keep herself from laughing.
“Blue and I don’t need any of this mystical who-ha Chip. We are practical girls,” I explained.
“I think you two need a great deal more mystical notions in your lives. I wish you would stay so we can all show you what life can be like. I know Zeke doesn’t want you to leave.”
“It’s not fair for me to ask about him, but I haven’t seen him all day.”
“The north entrance to the main city access was bombed overnight. Zeke went with a group to survey the damage and find you a new
route home. I’m setting your packs for a two-day land trip, but I’m hoping for a better option. I don’t think you can take more than twenty hours in the sun with this leather gear.” My heart sank, the bombing was proof that I needed to leave today, but it was also counterproductive to my survival.
“If you can set me in the right direction with food and water for two days, my family will find me once I reach the open shelf.” I could picture my father and brother standing side by side with Jason swooping in to collect me by helicopter transport.
“It’s not flat ground, Karine. There are deep caverns and dangerous areas you need to avoid. You must navigate that stretch in the daylight with a clear head. There’s no other way.” Chip explained.
Blue grabbed my arm tightly. I could see the tears start to form in her eyes. She was committed to staying. I imagine she was conflicted by her choice to abandon her family and the only life she knows. Once I was gone, any real option for her to leave would be gone as well.
I would risk my life for the chance to return home, and she would risk hers for the opportunity to stay with Chip. I didn’t agree with her choice, but I would not scold her for making it.
“Choose your path and stick to it,” I muttered.
“For all your days will be defined by it,” Blue sobbed, finishing one of our basic mottoes.
As much as I wanted to see Zeke, the thought of talking to him panicked me. He would make one last plea for me to stay, and I would have to say no to him one more time. I thought he was a coward for avoiding me all day. I was oddly relieved and felt smug and superior to his weakness. Now, knowing he spent the day actively trying to help me get home, I felt angry and cheated out of my chance to prove Zeke was too weak to leave my family for. As we walked around the camp towards the domestic tents, I noticed the empty areas that weren’t there yesterday.
“What is happening, where did the coffee tent and the meeting hall go?” I asked.
“Non-essentials are broken down first. We have started moving the people. The entire settlement will be gone in two days.” Chip seemed apprehensive about sharing this bit of information with me. I realized then he knew the full plan the council decided upon and how I played a part in it.
Violet sat on a large crate at the site of their dwelling and watched several small children playing. All the useful aged people were busy packing containers on open bed transports and moving them out to the sand flats—the opposite direction of where I would be traveling.
Violet noticed me walking towards her. She grabbed a package wrapped in twine and headed over to me.” Karine, I have your belongings packaged up as tightly as I could manage.” Chip took the neatly bundled package in his hands and tossed it up and down to gauge its weight.
“Nothing in here will help you on your trip. It’s extra weight. Is there anything in this bundle of clothes you can’t replace when you arrive home?”
“My commerce bracelet. It may help my family track me once I get closer.” Chip looked concerned. “It’s just a monetary gadget of sorts. Nothing to buy here, so I haven’t needed it, besides it’s dead. It will take a few hours in the sun to charge.” I pulled the black and silver object from the pile and slipped it in my pocket.
“They could have tracked you with this thing all this time?” Chip sounded angry. I could see the control he was summoning in his face as he grabbed me by the arm and pulled me close to him.
“It could be hacked. I purposely let it run out of power. I don’t have a death wish. I don’t want these people to be carpet-bombed like water terrorists. I just want to go home with as little bloodshed as possible.” Chip released my arm and looked at me very strangely. “I warned them when we got here. I am the rod. That is what I told them, I used your words, and your elders didn’t believe me.”
“I believe you,” Chip whispered. “You need to make it back to your blood-thirsty people as fast as possible.”
“I agree. The recent bombing was outside the settlement, but close enough, walking distance. If we were all blood-thirsty and savage, Jason wouldn’t have given you a warning shot.” Chip appeared to finally grasp the emerging danger.
Zeke appeared from an old truck’s cab, dusty and sweaty from a day of travel and worry. “You can’t leave tonight. It will have to wait for tomorrow and much better planning.” Chip walked over to the truck and started a conversation with Noah. Zeke looked at my day suit and at my packs. “No, we need time to find you a better path back to the city. Up the rock face is to dangerous.” Zeke explained.
“I’m glad to see you before I leave. Looks like everyone else is moving in the opposite direction of me today.” I pointed to the people busy in the area behind us. They looked organized in their chaos, which made my situation even more surreal.
“Glad to see me? This isn’t happening today. Chip tell her she needs to wait.”
Chip shook his head no. “Sorry, my friend, this needs to happen now. We all want the safety of our relatives, Zeke. She needs to be sent back to hers.”
“So, I get to pay for all of you to live. I have a bride too, young and beautiful, but I have to sacrifice her for the good of my people. We are sending her into a pit of savages to be literally stoned to death because of their ignorance.
“You did this to me, Noah, you undo it. Take her out of my sight. Drive her as far as that piece-of-shit truck will go, and then you walk back. Stay at the end of the caravan, if I see you.” Zeke was yelling at Noah. I was sure he couldn’t even see me anymore.
I pulled the visor over my head and started walking away.
“Karine! Stop!” Zeke yelled. Chip held him at the edge of the encampment.
“You know, I had a handsome husband once. He showed me a pool of the most beautiful blue water and taught me how to swim. We lived a simple and had decades together filled with friends, family, and children. One day I wasn’t there anymore. I died in my sleep and woke up someplace else.” Chip brought the last of my gear and put it in the bed of the old truck.
“You can still choose to stay with me, Karine. We could have all those things.” I could hear the pain in his voice. I told myself not to move. I wanted to kiss him and tell him I could stay. I wanted to pull myself apart and find a way to live in two worlds, but I couldn’t do those things.
“The dead can’t hurt you, Zeke. I’ll remember you happy and surrounded by water.”
Blue secured my glove strings into place. “You have to leave now Karine, even with the truck assist, the odds are slim you make it home unharmed by exposure.” Blue was right. She had no reason to lie. I was cutting into my survival time with each moment that passed, arguing with Zeke.
Blue hugged her arms around my suit and kissed me sweetly on the lips. “You are my sister now, please live a good life and remember me young and happy.” I nodded yes in agreement and climbed into the back of the old truck. Chip tossed a backpack in after me and yelled at Noah to leave.
My exit from their world was as quick as my entrance. Through the dust kicked up by the truck’s tires, I could see Zeke, his arm high in the air. Violet and Chip were by his side as Blue stood and cried.
The back window of the old vehicle was missing. Noah drove carefully, trying to keep the small truck on the well-worn path, avoiding the seabed holes and hills in front of us. I rested my arms in the missing window casing and lay my head in my hands. I kept my self together as long as I could. I tried to cry quietly, but the more I tried to control my tears, the louder they became.
“I can turn around and go back if you like, “Noah asked.
“No, I can’t ever do that again. I have to leave now, or the next round of bombs will bury us all.”
“Okay then, we go as far as we can by truck. Then we walk.”
“We?” I asked.
“I’m going to take you one day’s walk. Then I will head back to the group. I can get you over the sea wall and on your way to the city before I need to turn back.”
“Thank you, Noah,” I said while trying to wi
pe my tears on my undershirt.
“I don’t want you to thank me. I’m pretty sure I’m going to hell for what I’ve done. Plus, I lost a friend and upset one of my family’s oldest allies.”
“I don’t think there’s a Hell, but if there is, could we be in it right now? I certainly feel like I’m being punished.” I whined.
“What could you have done to deserve all of this?” Noah asked.
“I was awful to my brother the night you—took us. Like a spoiled little girl, I was mean just to be mean.”
“He will forgive you. I forgive my brothers and sisters all the time. It’s almost entertaining when one of them rises to challenge you. I doubt he even remembers the argument the way you do. You should try to sleep. I know the truck is bouncing, but try, you will need your strength,” He explained.
I curled myself around the bags of gear and tried to rest. The ride was bumpy, but I let myself relax. I made my mind reshuffle my priorities towards survival and getting back to my life. Having lived and died in a new world today, and my heart was exhausted.
FORCING CHANGE
I fell asleep with the Eaton secret rolling in my brain. The thought of my willful little sister being tortured by savages kept me from eating. This day had an ominous feel to it. I skipped work but still dressed for the office and left the house early.
My mind was made up entirely. I would marry William Eaton and keep his secret until he was ready to leave this world on his own. His half-life was a far crueler thing than the finality of death. The hope Priscilla endured all these years. Her life was put on hold and forfeit by all rights for the benefit of her son.
Priscilla Eaton looked polished and stately, but she was devious and secretive. A criminal by many standards. Her staff was loyal to her and William. She has an invisible link to information about the Red's and my baby sister. All these things told me Priscilla was the one I needed to ally myself with.
I took the commuter transport to the central station and called the Eaton driver from the platform. The ride to the estate felt like a detour into a parallel world. The plots of my older brother's books and movies started swirling in my brain. I was choosing to take a sharp right turn away from my tidy life and wrap myself in Priscilla's secret. It usually ended badly for the characters in his books that took chances with fate.