Do eat and drink in our plain mother phrase.
if thou dost want and wouldst have part with us,
Then do as we do; like an honest man
Show thy true meaning in famliar terms.
LOD’WICK
I am, good sir, if please you, mush distress’d,
Having nor money, friends, nor meat to eat.
If it may stand with your humanity
To give me some relief, I’ll pray for you,
And whilst I live, be thankful for the same.
SIR NICHOLAS
Why so, now I understand thy meaning.
Is not this better far than “respice”
And “precor” and such inkhorn terms as are
Intolerable in a commonwealth?
Conjurers do use them, and thou knowst
That they are held flat felons by the law.
Be sure, thou mightst have begg’d till thou were hoarse,
And talk’d until t hy tongue had had the cramp,
Before thou wouldst have been regarded once.
It is not good to be fantastical
Or scrupulous in such a case as this.
But to the purpose; thou art poor, thou sayst?
LOD’WICK
Exceeding poor, poorer than Irus;
He did enjoy the quiet of the mind,
Although his body were expos’d to want;
But I in body and in mind am vex’d.
SIR NICHOLAS
I fear by keeping riotous company,
Or some such misdemeanor?
LOD’WICK
Then I wish
That God may turn your heart from pitying me.
SIR NICHOLAS
Well, thou sayest well.Thou hast an honest face,
And art beside a pretty, handsome fellow.
Methinks thou couldst not want a service long,
If thou wouldst be contented to take pains.
LOD’WICK
Oh, sir, the world is grown so full of doubts,
Or rather, so confounded with self-love,
As, if a poor man beg, they straight condemn him
And say he is an idle vagabond;
Or if he ask a service or to work,
They straightway are suspicious of his truth;
So that, however, they will find excuse
that he shall still continue miserable.
And ’tis as common as ’tis true withal,
The weakest ever go unto the wall.
SIR NICHOLAS
By my faith, thou sayst true, the more is the pity.
LOD’WICK
But if you will vouchsafe, because my state
Is very bare and I am here unknown,
To be a means to help me to some place
Where I may serve, my pains, I donot doubt,
Shall prove my poverty no conterfeit.
SIR NICHOLAS
Faith, I must tell thee, I have little coin.
My benefice doth bring me in no more
But what will hold bare buckle and thong together,
And now and then to play a game at bowls
Or drink a pot of ale amongst good fellows.
And for my parishioners, they are husbandmen,
Nor do I know of any lacks a servant.
But this, the sexton of our church is dead,
And we do lack an honest, painful man
Can make a grave and keep our clock in frame,
And now and then to toll a passing bell.
If thou art willing so to be employ’d,
I can befriend thee.
LOD’WICK
Oh, with all my heart,
And think me treble happy by the office.
SIR NICHOLAS
The wages is not great, nor much above
Two crowns a quarter, but thy vails will help:
As first, the making of a grave’s a groat;
then, ringing of the bell at every burial,
Two pence a knell, which likewise is a groat;
And now and then the masters of our parish,
As goodmen Flail and Bartholomew Pitchfork,
Will bid thee home to dine and sup with them.
Beside, thou hast a house to swell in rent-free,
And for the liking that I have in thee,
Thou shalt be somewhat better too for me:
The grazing of a pig within the churchyard,
Or when I gather up my tithes, an egg,
A good hog’s pudding or a piece of souse.
What, man, ’tis good fare ina country house!
Come, follow me.I’ll see thee plac’d forthwith.
LOD’WICK
I thank you, sir.[Aside.] When all things run awry,
True labour must not be thought slavery.[Exeunt.
Scene 9
ENTER FREDERICK AS FERDINAND and ODILLIA.
FERDINAND
If you be able to endure the way
Till we have passed Brabant, we will on;
But, madam, if you hardly brook your travel,
We’ll take the right-hand way into the forest,
Where we shall shroud us secretly till night.
ODILLIA
Let us not stay near to my father’s court.
Not for a world I would not hazard thee;
No world could save if taken thou shouldst be.
Methinks ’tis long before the sun arise.
FERDINAND
Ah, it is long, Odillia, of thine eyes,
Who, slumb’ring still, imagines it is night,
And that the shining is his sister’s light.
ODILLIA
No, ’tis the moon, sweet Ferdinand, I see,
Keeps back her brother still to look on thee.
FERDINAND
I marvel not, poor light, if she decline,
When my Ordilla doth so early shine.
ODILLIA
Come, come, sweet love.Oh, I am full of fear.
Be I the moon; thine arm must be my sphere.
FERDINAND
Oh, were I heaven, thou ever shouldst shine there. [Exeunt.
Scene 10
ENTER EMMANUEL AND SHAMONT.
EMMANUAL
Oh, misery, why didst thou bait my fall
With these descending shadows o fmy good?
SHAMONT
My lord, ne’er stand upon these vain exclaims,
But by pursuit, seek to redress your wrongs.
’Tis speedy expedition must recover
What light belief and oversight hath lost.
EMMANUAL
Horses, I say!Let horses be sent forth!
No Christian prince that treads on Europe’s mold,
I think, that will so far engage his honor
As entertain this damned fugitive.
Horses, I say!Spur, spur through every coast!
Put on the wings of speedy expedition
In the pursuit of my Ordillia.
Deafen the very air with your exclaims,
And fill each province with the ceaseless bruit.
Ring out this famous wrong in your pursuit.
SHAMOUNT
Come, come, my lord.Incessant speed must post.
Words cannot get what you have vainly lost.[Exeunt.
Scene 11
ENTER YACOB, ORIANA, and DIANA.
YACOB
Oh Haere Godt, mine lieverkin, whore will ye from mie gane? [Oh Lord God, my little sweetheart, where will you go when you leave me?]
ORIANA
Farewell, mine host.We are for England bound,
Out of your debt, for you are satisfied.
YACOB
Yaw, yaw, ye heb well betalled. [Yes, yes, you have paid satisfactorily.]
ORIANA
So leave I you to seek my husband out,
Whom your uncivil usage forced hence.
Your imperfections, Yacob, are extreme:
Excess in diet; kindled fire of lust,
The smoke whereof unki
ndly chas’d away
My loving husband, whom I must pursue.
We owe ye nothing, not so much as love,
Since for your lust you have abus’d us all.
We hav not fall’n, though want did wrestle bard;
Our fingers’ ends, our honours have sustain’d.
Flanders, farewell, irksome without my lord;
And Newkirk, for his sake,be thou abhorr’d.
YACOB
Hore ye well, frow.Ken ye whore to find you man? [Listen to me a moment, madam.Do you know where to find your husband?]
ORIANA
I trust at London.
DIANA
Mother, please ye go?
The air’s infected where this glutton breathes.
That makes us pigrims without devotion.
Amend thy manners, or let all refuse
To host with thee, that would thy guests abuse. [Exeunt.Manent YACOB.
YACOB
Adiew, skone meskyn.Adiew, zoota frow.Ick will mine selva starven up de galligo bobbintow.Ick sall be dode slone met dis meager love. [Adieu, beautiful maid.Adieu sweet lady.I shall myself die in jail.I shall soon be struck dead with this meagre love.]
Enter BUNCH.
Sweg, Yacob, sweg.Here comt Bunch, dat bove. [Keep still, Yacob, keep still.Here comes Bunch, that scoundrel.]
BUNCH
Now, mine host rob pot, empty can, beer sucker, gudgeon, Smelt, I should say–have the women paid ye?
YACOB
Yaw, yaw, all to mall.[Yes, yes, the entire debt]
BUNCH
“All to mall.” drunken cannibal?And where be they, I pray ye?
YACOB
Ah, Bunch, Bunch, dey bene aweigh lopt.Dey will niet langer met mie blieven. [Ah, Bunch, Bunch, they have gone away.They would not stay with me any longer.]
BUNCH
“Blieven,” ye blockhead?No, thou art such a drunken goat, that the devil will not dwell with thee, except he be in thy coat.And whither are they gone, beer barrel?
YACOB
Ick weat not.For Englant, for Londres, dey segt.[I do not know.For England, for London, they set out.]
BUNCH
How?
For England?For London
Oh, Saint Kather’ne’s Dock!
And leave me behind them?
Yacob, dost thou not mock?
YACOB
Niet for ware. [Not at all.]
BUNCH
“For Ware?,” drunkard?Thou saidst for London even now.
YACOB
Yaw, for Loundres; ’tis ware, ’tis true.
BUNCH
Then, gentle swill-bowl, I’ll bid Flanders adieu.Oh, pitiless parcels of women’s flesh, that knew London is my country, and for all my good will would not call me to their company.Well, Bunch will not ban them, nor yet follow them, nor yet tarry here; but take up my tools, my pressing iron and shears, my needle and thimble, and back again for France to learn more wee and wee daw; and so farewell, Yacob, with your great maw.
Adieu, mine host lick-spigot
At the Sign of the Slipper,
When you meet with the cat,
For my sake, whip her.
YACOB
Ha, Bunch, mine hart if gebroke.Ick mought niet lang leven.Comt met mie.At parting, Ick sall de twea stopes van beer geven. [Ha, Bunch, my heart is broken.I cannot live longer.Come with me.At parting I shall give you two steins of beer.] [Exeunt.
Scene 12
ENTER FERDINAND AND ODILLIA.
FERDINAND
Thus far, sweet lady, safely are we ‘scap’d,
And hardly shall they overtake us now,
Though every way pursuit do follow us.
Be cheerful then, Odillia; love is guide,
Who swears that fortune shal us not divide.
ODILLIA
Dear Ferdinand, I neither fear nor doubt;
Peril is but a bugbear for a child.
My heart is firm and fortified with love–
Witness this desperate tender of mine honor
Into thy hands, which thou has yet preserv’d.
FERDINAND
And will preserve it whilst I draw this breath,
And bring it sacred to our nuptial bed.
ODILLIA
Then, Ferdinand, belike ye mean to wed?
FERDINAND
Mean you not so?
ODILLIA
Yes, but with whom?
FERDINAND
Madam, I trust with me.
ODILLIA
Well mayst thou trust; I’ll marry none but thee.
I know thy bringing up, though not thy birth.
Thou art deriv’d from Adam, form’d of earth.
From that first parent all descended are;
Then who begat or bare thee, that’s not my care.
Thou stol’st my heart; I stole with thee thus far.
Love wrouhgt our joy; lack shall not make us jar.
FERDINAND
Oh, happy accents of a heavenly tongue.
ODILLIA
Let’s journey on.We tarry here too long.
Enter BUNCH..
Alas, who is this?
BUNCH
Faith, one that will do ye no wrong.
FERDINAND
Peasant, thou canst not.
BUNCH
No, sir, ye are deceiv’d.I am no peasant;I am Bunch the botcher.Peasants be plowmen.I am an artificial.
ODILLIA
Simple and pleasant this poor fellow seems.
Question him further, Ferdinand.
FERDINAND
I will.
My friend, where are we?
BUNCH
Cannot you tell?
FERDINAND
No.
BUNCH
Then ye ha’ no wit.Are not we here, I pray you?
FERDINAND
We are here, indeed.But say, what country’s this?
BUNCH
Nay, ye ask’d me not that before, nor I canot tell ye it now.
ODILLA
Whither go you, my friend?
BUNCH
’Tis true, indeed, your friend and Barnaby Bunch.I am going to France.
FERDINAND
And can ye speak French?
BUNCH
Ay, sir.I would be sorry else.
FERDINAND
D’ou vani vou?
BUNCH
I never learn’d so far–I cannot tell ye that–I am but a stranger in the country.Here comes one perchance can tell ye.
Enter LOD’WICK like a Sexton.
FERDINAND
I pray you, sir, what territory’s this?
LOD’WICK
Part of the bast country of France it is.
The village name is Arde in Picardy.
FERDINAND
What entertainment can the town afford
To travelers?
LOD’WICK
Too mean for such as you.
FERDINAND
Inhabit you this village?
LOD’WICK
Ay, forsooth.
Why gazest thou upon me so my friend?
BUNCH
By Jacob’s staff and Jumbal’s fiddle,
Because–I’ll s’pose ye with a riddle:
Two hes, two shes, by night fled touch,
And light upon a hannikin Dutch.
Yacob builded a new kirk,
And with the chalk writ such a quirk,
That wife and child were left alone.
The score is paid, and they are gone.
LOD’WICK
Let this alone, friend, till another time;
My skill is small in riddles or in thyme.
[Close aside to BUNCH] Be silent, Bunch, till we be rid of these.
FERDINAND
You seem a man belonging to the church,
And we have church-work to be finished.
In plainest terms, we would be married.
Accomplish our desire for recompense.
; LOD’WICK
I blush not at my calling, gentlemen.
The sexton’s place of Ards I now profess.
If that fair damsel do consent with you,
I’ll call the civar to conjoin with you.
ODILLIA
Call him, good friend, for my consent is pass’d.
BUNCH
Nay, but call him quickly, for ye see she’s in haste.
LOD’WICK
Master, Sir Nicholas, here’s a commodity,
A marriage that must quickly be dispatch’d.
Enter SIR NICHOLAS.LOD’WICK and BUNCH whisper together.
SIR NICHOLAS
Gramercy, sexton, this was featly watch’d.
Welcome, fresh gallants, to the town of Ards.
A pretty couple, youthful to the spring, sweet as is May morning.Do you desire to be knit together?
FERDINAND
In holy marriage, sir, would we be join’d.
SIR NICHOLAS
In holy wedlock, gentles, so I mean.
Ye are in the state of grace; twins in affection, turtles in true love. I know ye have to license, and ’tis no matter.Holy matrimony shall pass my liverty without examining.You’ll pay me?
FERDINAND
Ay.
SIR NICHOLAS
Come, I’ll glue ye together by and by.
To the lawful bed. to the lawful bed.
Fie on this fornication, this lascivious lust![Aside.] And yet the flesh pricks my holy self now and then.Come, follow me.I’ll call some more witness and clap it up presently.
[Exeunt FERDINAND, ODILLIA, and SIR NICHOLAS.Manant LOD’WICK, and BUNCH, who have whispered.
LOD’WICK
But are my wife and daughter gone indeed
For London, and have paid the debt we ought?
BUNCH
By my shears–and that’s a shaving oath–they are gone for London, they have paid Yacob.But they shall lose their labour, because you are not in England.
LOD’WICK
But I will send, or I will soon be there;
I must not live divided from my joy.
BUNCH
And yet I think you live well by this science of sextonship.Lord, do not you pray that the pop may catch the people, that you may earn many groats for making graves?Your churchwardens find bellropes and your hands to shake them.
LOD’WICK
Th’art a mad fellow.But how knewst thou me in this disguise?
BUNCH
Tut, well enough.But hark, the civar calls.
LOD’WICK
Come, Bunch.We’ll find more time to talk anon.[Exeunt.
Scene 13
ENTER HERNANDO, DON UGO, and MERCURY, disguised, in private conversation with HERNANDO; with soldiers.
HERNANDO
I like thy words, and though I reck not much
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 29