Be full of courage, lords, as y’are in years.
For this be sure we’ll not outlive our peers.
FIDELI
We’ll all live, but will first have them by th’ears.
TITANIA
Go on; your conduct be the prosperous hand.
Make you the sea good; we’ll not lose the land.
Your queen will to the field.It shall be said
Once soldiers to their captain had a maid. [Exeunt.
Act Five, Scene Three
ENTER TRUTH AND PLAIN DEALING, leading Soldiers with drum and colours; TIME meeting them.
TIME
You sweat well in this harvest.
PLAIN DEALING
Nay, when we come to bind up the whore of Babylon’s punks and pinnaces in sheaves, we’ll sweat worse.
TIME
Have you bestowed the other bands?
TRUTH
I have.
TIME
Incorporate this to you then.’Tis the mandate
Of your lieutenant general.You fight
In your great Fairy’s quarrel, and Truth’s right.
Stand therefore to’t?
VOLUNTEER
I will have no wounds on my shoulders.I scorn to run or to cry out of warlike kibes in the heel.
TIME
Go, thou most god-like maid, and buck on
The breastplates fetch’d from thine own armoury.
Let every soldier were one, on each leader
Bestow a guiding-staff and a strong shield
That may as faithful be to his good sword
As thou art to his heart.Head all the spears
With gold of angel-proof.Sit like a dove
Upon the horseman’s helm, and on his face
Fan with thy silver wings sweet victory.
Go, beat thy drum, that men may know thy march,
Spread thine own colours, Truth, so let them shine.
Soldiers may swear they’ll follow none but thine.
Away.
TRUTH
I fly, swift as the winged wings.[Exit.
PLAIN DEALING
Today is workaday with me for all I have my best clothes on.What do you set me to?
TIME
Go thou and sweep th’abuses from the camp.
PLAIN DEALING
Conscience has left no brooms big enough to do that clean.
TIME
Then purge the tents of all infectious airs.
PLAIN DEALING
Yonder’s one infection new broke out, if it be not top’d from running, will choke us all.
TIME
Name it.I’ll minister the remedy.
PLAIN DEALING
Time may do it.This ’tis:a broker and his wife that dropp’d out of the hangman’s budget but last day are now eating into the camp, and are victuallers to it.Their very cans have hoops of gold lace now, that hang’d captain’s jerkins all o’er but yesterday.Fifteen lieutenants have eaten up their buff jerkins with cheese and mustard.Nay, this villain of fourscore i’th’hundred has set up three armourers shops with harness caps and pewter coats that are lined clean out with ale.The rogue lies every night upon as many feathers which grew in soldiers’ hats as will undo four hundred schoolmasters to hire them for their boys to go a feasting.
TIME
Breed such disorders mongst the soldiers?
PLAIN DEALING
They swarm like lice.Nay, his wife tickles it too for three musketeers came but to drink tobacco in her cabin, and she fired their flasks and touch-boxes.
TIME
Go rid the camp of these and all like these.
PLAIN DEALING
If any soldier swear I’ll cashier him too.
TRUTH
You will scarce leave two in the army then.
PLAIN DEALING
What shall I do with those pioneers yonder?
TRUTH
You know the ground; lead them to cast up trenches.
Away.
PLAIN DEALING
They are by this time leading one another, for when I left them, I left them all casting.I’ll now go see what it comes to.[Exit.
TRUTH
I’ll fly hence to the fleet of Babylon,
And from their tacklings and their mainmast tops
Time shall shoot vengeance through his bow of steel,
Wedge-like, to split their navy to the keel.
I’ll cut their princes down as blades of grass,
As this glass, so the Babylonian power,
The higher shall run out to fill the lower. [Exit.
Act Five, Scene Four
THE SEA FIGHT.Enter the THREE KINGS.
THIRD KING
The sulphurous Ætna belcheth on our ships,
Cut cables, or the whole fleet drowns in fire.
FIRST KING
Holla!
SECOND KING
Of Babylon.
FIRST KING
What hulks are these
That are on fire?
THIRD KING
The devils.The sea’s on fire;
The devil sure takes tobacco.
FIRST KING
Where’s Medina?
SECOND KING
Close under hatches, dares not show his head.
THIRD KING
Damnation on such liver’d generals.
Where’s brave Ricalde?
SECOND KING
Who?
THIRD KING
Our admiral.
The admiral of our navy, wise Ricalde.
SECOND KING
Our stouty and brave Ricalde keeps his bed.
THIRD KING
All poxes fire him out.Pedro de Valdes,
Having about him fifty cannons’ throats
Stretch’d wide to bark is boarded, taken.
SECOND KING
Taken?
THIRD KING
Without resistance.Pyementelly sink,
Oquendo burnt, Moncada drown’d or slain.
FIRST KING
The ship of all our medicaments is lost.
THIRD KING
Dogs eat our medicaments, such are our wounds.
We more shall sextons need than surgeons.
SECOND KING
What course is best?
THIRD KING
’Tis best to get the day,
Is to hoist sails up and away!
OMNES
Away, away, hoise sails up and away!
THIRD KING
A world of men and wealth lost in one day! [Exeunt.
Act Five, Scene Five
ENTER FLORIMELL, FOLLOWED by Captains, Mariners and Gunners with linstocks.
FLORIMELL
Shoot, shoot!They answer.Brave!More linstocks!Shoot!The stratagem dropp’d down from heaven in fire.
OMNES
Board, board.Hoise more sales up!They fly!Shoot, shoot! [Exeunt.
Act Five, Scene Six
ENTER TITANIA IN the camp with ELFIRON, FIDELI, PARTHENOPHIL, Officers, and Soldiers.
TITANIA
We never held a royal court till now.
Warriors, would it not seem most glorious
To have embassadors to greet us thus?
Our chair of state, a drum; for sumptuous robes
Ruffling about us, heads cas’d up in globes
Of bright reflecting steel; for revellers,
Treading soft measures, marching soldiers.
Trust me, I like the martial life so well
I could change courts to camps, in fields to dwell.
’Tis a brave life.Methinks it best becomes
A prince to march thus, between guns and drums.
My fellow soldiers, I date swear you’ll fight
To the last man, your captain being in sight.
VOLUNTEER
To the last least man’s little finger! [They shoot.A peal goes off.
FIDELI
What flames through all our blood your breath inspires!
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TITANIA
For that we come not.No breast here wants fires.
’Twas kindled in their cradles, strength, courage, zeal,
Meet in each bosom like a three-fold flood,
We come with yours to venture our own blood.
For you and we are fellows; thus appears it.
The soldier keeps the crown on, the prince wears it.
Of all men you we hold the most, most dear,
But for a soldier I had not been here.
FIDELI
Do not the guns offend you?
TITANIA
How?We are tried.
Why, I’m born a soldier by the father’s side.
The cannon, thunder’s zany, plays to us
Soft music’s tunes, and more melodious,
And we more rarely like, because all these
That now can speak the language of stern war
Could not speak swords or guns, nay, scarce could go,
Nay, were no born, but like to new-sown grain,
Lay hid i’th’mold, when we went to be crown’d,
Though now th’are tall corn fields covering the ground.
Enter PLAIN DEALING.
PLAIN DEALING
Room, room!News, news!The youngest news that ever was brought forth amongst men at arms.A woman, sweet mistress, is brought to bed of a man child i’th’camp; a boy that looks as if he would shoot off already.The bed they have swaddl’d him in is the piece of an old torn ancient; his blankets are two soldiers’ mandilions.His cradle is the hollow back piece of a rusty armour.His head lies in a murren that’s quilted to keep him warm.The first thing that ever he laid hold on was a truncheon on which a captain lean’d to look upon him.He’ll be a warrior, I warrant.A can of beer is set to his mouth already, yet I doubt he’ll prove but a victualler to the camp.A notable fat double-chinn’d bulchin.
TITANIA
A child born in our camp!Go give him fame.
Let him be Beria call’d, by the camp’s name.
PLAIN DEALING
That’s his name then.Beria. Instead of a midwife, a captain shall bear him to the fount, and if there by any woman to follow it, they shall either trail pikes, or shoot in calivers.Who would sweat thus to get gossips for another man’s child?But fathers themselves are gull’d so sometimes.Farewell, mistress.
Enter TIME, FLORIMELL, Captains, and Soldiers.
TITANIA
With roses us your crown, yourself with palm.
FLORIMELL
Had we all wounds, your words are sovereign balm.
TITANIA
Are those clouds ‘sperst that strove to dim our light?
FLORIMELL
And driven into the gloomy caves of night.
TITANIA
Our hands be heav’d up for it.
TIME
There’s good cause.
We’re bound to do so by the higher laws.
Those roaring whales came with devouring wombs
To swallow up your kingdoms.Foolish heirs!
When half of them scarce knew where it did stand,
Under the zenith, did they share your land!
At dice they play’d for Fairies; at each cast
A knight at least was lost.“What do you sit?”
“This knight,” cries one, and names him.“No, a lord,
Or none!”He throws and sweeps the board.
His hat is full of lords up to the brim.
The sea threw next at all, won all and him!
Would you these gamesters see now?
FIDELI
See now?Where?
They’ll scarce see us, the last fight cost so dear.
TIME
Bid you me do it, ’tis done.Time takes such pride
To wait on you; heal lackey by your side.
Those days of their arrival, battle, flight
And ignominious shipwreck, like lost arrows,
Are out of reach.Of them the world receives
But what Time’s book shows turning back the leaves.
But if you’ll see this concubine of kings
In her majestic madness with her sons,
That hour is now but num’bring out in sand
For you and for your Fairies’ sweet delight,
Time shall do this.
TITANIA
‘Twill be a glorious sight.
TIME
Unseen you shall both see and hear these wonders
On the green mount of truth.Let the army move
And meet you in the vale of Oberon.
Your captives are sent thither.Quick as thought
You shall fly hence upon my active wings.
Time, at one instant, sees all courts of kings. [Exeunt TIME, Soldiers, &c.
TIME descending.Enter the EMPRESS, Three KINGS, and Four CARDINALS.
EMPRESS
Hence.Sting me not.Y’are scorpions to my breast,
Diseases to my blood.He dies that speaks.
THIRD KING
Y’are mad.
FIRST AND SECOND KINGS
Y’are mad.
FOURTH CARDINAL
Oh, falls not heaven!
EMPRESS
Be silent.
Be damn’d your speech, as y’are for act.
You are all blackand close conspirators
In our disgrace.
THIRD KING
You lie.
FOURTH CARDINAL
Oh, horrible!
THIRD KING
You rave yet know not why.
EMPRESS
Thou sayst all’s lost.
THIRD KING
Drown’d, burnt, split upon rocks, cast overboard,
Throats cut by kerns whose hairs like elf-locks hang.
SECOND KING
One of those shamrock-eaters at one breakfast
Slit fourscore weason’d-pipes of ours.
FIRST KING
Of yours.
Oquendo burnt, Piamentelli slain,
Pedro de Valdes ta’en.
FIRST CARDINAL
Could dwarfs beat giants?
THIRD KING
In one day fell five hundred.Galleons fifteen
Drown’d at the same time, or which was worser, taken.
The same day made a thousand prisoners.
Yet not a cherry stone of theirs was sunk,
Not a man slain or ta’en, nor drown’d.
EMPRESS
Oh, damn’d!
THIRD KING
Two with two spit-frog rapiers took a galleon.
FIRST CARDINAL
Oh, pity her!
THIRD KING
Let her taste all.
EMPRESS
Fall, thunder,
And wedge me into earth, stiff as I am.
So I may be but deaf, turn me into
A speckled adder.Oh, you mountains fall
And cover me, that of me, memory
May never more be found!
FOURTH CARDINAL
Oh, holy mother!
EMPRESS
Earth, I’ll such all thy venom to my breast.
It cannot hurt me so as do my sons,
My disobedient, desperate, dampen’d sons.
My heavy curse shall strike you.
FIRST CARDINAL
Oh, kneel down,
Kneel down and beg a pardon, lest her curse —
FIRST KING
Ay, that’s the block.We must kneel or do worse.
FIRST CARDINAL
Lift up your sacred head.Your children come
Upon their knees to take a mother’s doom.
EMPRESS
Oh, Syrian panthers!You spend breath most sweet,
But you are spotted o’er from head to feet.
This neck I’ll yoke, this throat a stairs I’ll make
By which I’ll climb.Like stubble thou shalt burn
In my hot vengeance.
SECOND KING
Vengeance I defy.
I shall
fall from thee, since thou makst my breast
Thy scorn.True kings such baseness will detest.
Electors will I call and they shall make thee
But servant of mine empire.They shall thrust
A ring into thy nostrils.
EMPRESS
Come, let me kiss thy cheek.I did but jest.
TITANIA
Mark:those that most adore her, most are slav’d.
She never does grow base, but when she’s brav’d.
THIRD KING
You seem still angry.
EMPRESS
No; yes.Lead the way.
Never was day to me thus tragical.
Great Babylon thus low did never fall.
TITANIA
Thanks, Time, for this.Launch forth to Oberon’s vale.
We are near shore; your hands to strike the sail. [Exeunt.
FINIS
If This Be Not a Good Play, the Devil is in It (1611)
CONTENTS
Dramatis Personæ
A Message to the Reader
Prologue
Act One, Scene One
Act One, Scene Two
Act One, Scene Three
Act Two, Scene One
Act Two, Scene Two
Act Two, Scene Three
Act Three, Scene One
Act Three, Scene Two
Act Three, Scene Three
Act Four, Scene One
Act Four, Scene Two
Act Four, Scene Three
Act Four, Scene Four
Act Five, Scene One
Act Five, Scene Two
Act Five, Scene Three
Act Five, Scene Four
Epilogue
The original title page of the play
Dramatis Personæ
ALPHONSO, King of Naples.
DUKE OF CALABRIA.
OCTAVIO, Uncles to
ASTOLFO Alphonso.
NARCISSO,
JOVINELLI , Counts of
BRISCO, Naples.
SPENDOLA,
BARTERVILE, a Merchant.
PRIOR,
SUB-PRIOR, Friars.
ALPHEGE ,
HILLARY,
SCUMBROTH, a cook.
RUFFMAN, disguised as BOHOR,
SHACKLESOUL, disguised as FRIAR RUSH,
LURCHALL, Devils.
LUCIFER,
GLITTERBACK, a spirit.
Two Gentlemen.
FARNEZE, a Gentleman.
ERMINHILD, Princess of Calabria.
PLUTO,
CHARON,
MINOS,
ÆACUS,
RHADAMANTH, Tormentors in Hell.
RAVAILLAC,
GUY FAWKES,
A Prodigal.
A Puritan .
A Soldier, Scholar, Mariner, Bravo, Italian Zany, Courtesans, Friars, Pilgrims, Servants, Devils, Furies.
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 48