Few attempts were after made to any purpose: onely certain yong prodigall Heires, who (as voluntaries) maintained themselues in seruice vnder Money, were appointed to be light-horsemen for discouery of the enemies forces (as she lay incamped) who now and then in a few light skirmishes had the honour to issue forth, and to set vpon the Assailants that beleagured the Cittie: but Pouertie still draue them either in to their owne shame, or else had them in execution (euen in despight of the Cittie forces) and put them euer to the worst.
The Gold-beaters (who knew themselues on a sure ground within the walles) lingred of purpose, and would neuer bring it to a battaile, onely to wearie the aduersarie, whom they meant to vndoe by delay, because she could not hold out long for want of victuals. They within cared not though ten thousand diuels amongst them, so Money (their mistresse) whom they worshipped as a God, would not leaue their company, and the rascoll Déere that (without the walles) were euery howre hunted out of breath, vowed to eate vp one another, before they would raise ye Seige, and be hanged vp like Dogs (at the Cittie gates) for they were now accounted no better then dogs, but they would haue their peniworths out of Money for a number of wro¯gs which by her meanes they had endured, when she hath seene them and their children ready to starue, yet scornd to reléeue their necessities. Thus both their stomacks beeing great, and aswell the defendants as the assailents resolutely confirmed to stand vpon their guard, and to stay the vtmost of any miserie that could waite vppon a lingring warre: behold the rich-plumde estridges, who had most fethers on their backes, and least cause to murmure, began to mutinie amongst themselues, the imprisoning of Money (their sole soueraigne) so close within stony battlements, did not shew well: they were loyall subiects to her, & would frée both her & themselues, vnlesse she might vse her sports and princely pleasures, as she had wont, Mercers had their shops musty, and their silkes moldie for want of customers, Goldsmiths had their plate hid in cellors, where it lay most richly, but looked more pittifully and with worse cullour, then prisoners lying in the hole. Haberdashers had more hats then they could finde heads to weare them, if they had béene such arrant blockes them selues to haue giuen their wares away, trades had no doings, all the men were out of heart by beeing kept in, and all the women ready to be spoyled for want of walking to their Gardens: Euerie one spent & spent, but who tasted the sweetenes? In stead of selling their wares, they plyed nothing now but getting of children, and scowring of péeces. In stead of what doe you lacke? was heard Arme, Arme, Arme. This géere was to be looked into, and therefore they desired their gratious Empresse (Money) not to lye lasing thus in a chamber, but either that she would be more stirring, that they (her Subiects might haue better stirrings too, and (opening the Cittie gates) to fight it out brauely, or else they vowed there were at least ten thousand) whose names stood now in her Muster booke) that shortly if this world lasted, would shut vp their dores, shew her a faire paire of héeles, and from her fly into the hands of Pouertie their enemie.
Upon the necke of this, came likewise a supplication from certaine troopes of Uintners without the Barres, Inkéepers, common Uictuallers and such like, who plaid ye iackes on both sides, and were indéede Neuters, a linsey-wolsey people, that tooke no part, but stood indifferent betwéene Money, and Pouerty, the tenor of which petition presents it selfe thus to the world.
THE PITTIFULL PETITION OF VINTNERS, VICTUALLERS, INKEEPERS, &C. WITHOUT THE BARRES:
TO THE GREAT EMPRESSE OF OLD MENS HARTS, AND YONG MENS PLEASURES, YCLIPPED MONEY.
HVMBLY sueth to your currant Excellency, your vncustom’d drooping Suppliants, the Vintners, and Innekeepers, and others of the Ale-draperie, that are bard out of the Cittie: Whereas through the extreame deadnesse of time and terme, we all run backward in our condition, hauing great rents to pay, and greater scores, which will neuer bee paid, guests now being glad if they can make vs take chalke for cheese, our wines lying dead vpon our hands, and complaining for want of good doings: we our selues making many signes to passengers, but few comming at vs, and hanging vp new bushes, yet hauing onely beggers hansell, trimming our roomes for no better men then Barbers and Taylors, a rapierscarce beeing seene in a veluet scabert within 40. yards of our precincts.
— Quis talia fando,
Myrmidonum, Dolopumue, aut duri miles Vlissi Temperet a lachrimis!
O Neither the Mermaide, nor the Dolphin, nor he at mile-end greene, can when he list be in good temper when he lackes his mistres (that is to say Money.)
May it therefore please thee (O thou pay-mistresse to all the fidlers that should haunt our howses, if thou wouldest put them in tune) to send (at least) some of thy Harpers to sound their nine-penic musicke in our eares, but we rather humbly beg it, that thou wouldest enrich vs with thy Angellike-presence, be no longer percullized vp in the Citie, visit the subburbes, against thy comming all her cawseies shall be paued & made euen, how broken soeuer her conscience be left and vnmended. Our houses stand emptie, as if the plague were in them, onely for want of thee, our Drawers cannot be drawne to any goodnesse, nor our Hostlers to deale honestly with horse or man, onely by reason of thee: Issue therefore forth amongst good fellows, that will sooner fight for the•…, then those snudges & miserable cormorants that now feede vpon thee.
This lamentable supplication (together with the feare of a mutiny amongst her soldiers) so wrought with the Empresse, that (cleane against the pers•…uasion of her councell) she determined to leaue the Cittie, and to march into the •…ield: hereupon her Army Royall was set in order, to the intent she might take a full view of all her Colonels, Generals, Captaines and men of warre. She went from squadron to squadron, not so much delighting her owne eies beholding so many thousands ready to fight in her defence, as they were gréedy to enioy her presence, which with braue encouragement lifted vp the deadest spirit, all swore to follow her, none to leaue her, or if any did, a curse was laid vpon him to die a begger.
The first regiment consisted of Courtiers, some of them being Lords (who came very well prouided) some Knights, (but most of the valiant knights that were true soldiers indéed, serued in the other armie (Conncellors at Law gaue directions where to encampe, what ground was best to defend themselues and annoy the foe, by what trickes and stratagems to circumuent her, how to leade the Troopes on, how to come off, and by plaine demonstration shewed how easie it was to put Pouertie to her shifts, and to haue her & her troopes in execution, if Money would be pleased to say the word, and for that purpose they made orations to set the armies together by the eares, which accordingly tooke effect, Attorneys were very busie, and serued as Clarkes to the Bandes, running vp and downe from one rancke to another expressing a kinde of puzled and dizzie distraction in all their businesses.
But that which made the best shew of all, was a lane of Brokers, who handled their Pieces passing well, & were old dog at a marke, they had skill in any weapon, Musket, Caliuer, Petronel, Harguibusse, a Crock, Po•…lax, Holbert, Browne-bill, Pike, Dimilance, sword, Bow and arrowes, nothing came amisse to them, and which was most strange they fought by the Booke, at a breach none so forward as they, they had beene at the ransacking of many a house, and would vndertake to vndoe all the troopes that were led by Pouertie. These Brokers were armed with thrumd cappes, (but they should haue had Murrions) and those they •…ore to keepe their wits from taking cold: for they had all diuellish heads, and were suited in sparke of veluet Iackets with out sleeues, tust taffatie bréeches, c•…ose to them like Irish Stroozes, Sattin doublets with sagging bellies, as if bagpuddins had bumbasted them, and huge dutch Ald•…mens sleeues, a•…ed strongly with back péeces of canuas, dugeon daggers instead of Pistols hanging by their sides, •…ine peird silke stockens on their legs, tyed vp smoothly with caddis garters, all which had béene taken as spoiles from the other Armie.
The Inuader vnderstanding that the quarrell would be decided in a pitcht field, and that crackt crownes would be both giuen and taken on either side, grew exceeding ioyfull: and therefore calling for Sharker (one of h
er boldest & wittiest Heralds) him she sent to Money, to know where the Rendeuous should be made for both armies to meete in, and what péece of ground should be best famous to posterities by their battaile. Money tooke aduice vpon this, most of her old beaten Captaines, laboured earnestly to haue it at Bagshot, but all the gallants cryed baw waw at him that named Bagshot, so that for a quarter of an hower, none could be heard to speake, there was such a Baw wawing. The Herald Sharker, in name of his Mistresse, who sent him, requested it might be at beggers bush. But euery soldier swore that was a lowzy place, and so for a day or two, it rested vncertaine and vndetermined.
In which Interim, a murmuring went vp and downe that not onely Pouorty had maintained this terrible Siege against the City, but that Dearth also, Famine and the Plague, were lately ioyned with the same Army, besides many strange and incurable diseases were crept into the camp, that followed Money: for Ryot her minion, was almost spent, and lay in a consumption. A hundred in a company were drowned in one night in French bowles: fiue tunes as many more were tormented with a terrible gnawing about their consciences. All the Usurers in the Army had hung themselues in chaines, within lesse then three howers, and all the Brokers, being their Bastards, went crying vp and downe, The Diuell, the Diuell, and thereupon because they should not disquiet the rest of the Soldiers, they were fetched away. These and such other vnexpected mischifes, put Money into many feares, doubts and distractions, so that she inwardly wished that these vnlucky warres had either nener béene begun, or else that they were well ended, by the conclusion, if it might be, of some honourable peace.
And as these stormes of misery fell vpon Money and her troopes, so was the army of Pouerty plagued as much, or more on the other side: nothing could be heard amongst the Souldiers but cries, complaints, cursings, blasphemies, Oathes, and ten thousand other blacke and damned spirits, which euer hawnted them and their Generall herselfe. Want pinched them in the day, and wildnesse and rage kept them waking and raueing all the night. Their soules were desperate, their bodies consumed, they were weary of their liues, yet compelled to liue for furder miseries, and nothing did comfort them but a foolish hope they had to be reuenged vpon Money. So that so many plagues, so many diseases, so many troubles and inconueniencies following both the armies (by meanes of the tedious Siege) a perpetuall truce, league and confederacy was confirmed by Money and Pouerty, and the councellors on either part: that in euery Kingdome, euery Shire, and euery City, the one should haue as much to doe as the other: that Pouerties subiects should be euer in a redinesse (as the Switzers are for pay) to fight for Money, if she craued their aid, & that Money againe should help them whensoeuer they did néede: and that sithence they were two Nations so mighty and so mingled together, and so dispersed into all parts of the world, that it was impossible to seuer them. A law was presently enacted, that Fortune should no longer bee blinde, but that all the Doctors and Surgeons should by waters, and other m•…s helpe her to eies, that she maight see those vpon whom shee bestowes her blessings, because fooles are serued at her doalewith riches, which they know not how to vse, & wise men are sent away like beggers from a misers gate with empty wallets.
The Armies hereupon brake vp, the Siege raised, the Citty gates set wide open. Shop-keepers fell to their old, What doe you lacke: The rich men feast one another (as they were wont) and the poore were kept poore still in pollicy, because they should doe no more hurt.
FINIS.
O PER SE O. OR A NEW CRYER OF LANTHORNE AND CANDLE-LIGHT
Being an Addition, or Lengthening, of the Bell-mans Second Night-walke.
In which, are Discouered those Villanies, which the Bell-man (because hee went i’th darke) could not see: now laid open to the world.
Together With the shooting through the arme vsed by counterfeit Souldiers: The making of the great Soare, (commonly called The great Cleyme:) The Mad-mens markes: Their phrase of Begging: The Articles and Oathes giuen to the Fraternitie of Roagues, Vagabonds, and sturdy Beggers at their Meetings.
And last of all, A new Canting-Song.
Printed at London for Iohn Busbie, and are to be sould at his shop in S. Dunstans Church-yard in Fleete-street. 1612.
TO MY OWNE NATION.
Readers,
AFTER it was proclaymed abroad, that (vnder the conduct of the Bel-man of London) new Forces were (once more) to be leauied against certaine Wilde and barbarous Rebels, that were vp in armes against the tranquilitie of the Weale-publicke: It cannot be told what numbers of voluntaries offred themselues daily to fight against so common, so bold, so strange, and so dangerous an enemie. Light horse men came in hourely with discouery where these Mutiners lay intrenched: deliuering (in briefe notes of intelligence) who were their Leaders, how they went armed, and that they serued both on horse and foote: onely their Strengths could not be discried, because their Numbers were held infinite. Yet instructions were written, and sent euery minute by those that were fauourers of Goodnesse, shewing what militarie discipline the Foe vsed in his battailes, and what Forts (if he were put at any time to flight) he would retire to; what stratagems he would practise, and where he did determine to lye in Ambuscado. They that could not serue in person, in this Noble quarrell, sent their Auxiliary Forces, well armed with Counsell. So that the Bel-man (contrary to his hopes) seeing himselfe so strongly and strangely seconded by friends, doth now brauely aduance forward, in maine battalion. The day of encounter is appointed to be in this Michaelmas Tearme: the place, Paules Church-yard, Fleetstreete, and other parts of the Citie. But before they ioyne let me giue you note of one thing, and that is this.
There is an Vsurper, that of late hath taken vpon him the name of the Bel-man, but being not able to maintaine that title, hee doth now call himselfe the Bel-mans brother, his ambition is (rather out of vaine-glory then the true courage of an experienced Souldier) to haue the leading of the Van, but it shall be honor good enough for him (if not too good) to come vp with the Rere. You shall know him by his Habiliments, for (by the furniture he weares) he will be taken for a Beadle of Bridewell. It is thought he is rather a Nevvter then a friend to the cause: and therefore the Bel-man doth here openly protest that hee comes into the field as no fellow in armes with Him.
Howsoeuer it be strucke, or whosoeuer giues the first blow, the victorie depends vpon the valour of you that are the Wings to the Bel-mans army, for which conquest he is in hope you will valiantly fight, sithence the quarrell is against the head of monstrous abuses, and the blowes which you must giue are in defence of Law, Iustice, Order, Ceremonie, Religion, Peace, and that honourable title of Goodnesse.
Saint George I see the two Armies moue forward: and behold, the Bel-man himselfe first chargeth vpon the face of the Enemy, Thus:
A TABLE OF ALL THE MATTERS THAT ARE CONTAINED IN THIS BOOKE.
Cha.
Of Canting.
Cha.
1 What matters were tryed at a Tearme that was in Hell.
2 The proceedings of that Court.
3 A Counsell held in Hell about the Bel-man.
4 A messenger sent from thence with instructions.
Cha. Of Gull-groping.
How Gentlemen are cheated at Ordinaries.
To furnish which feast, these Guests are bidden, viz.
The Leaders.
The Forlorne Hope.
The Eagle.
The Wood-pecker.
The Gull.
The Gull-groper.
Cha. Of Ferreting.
How Gentlemen are vndone by taking vp commodities.
Which Tragedy hath these fiue Acts, viz.
A Tumbler.
Pursenets.
A Ferret.
Rabbet-suckers.
A Warren.
Cha. Of Hawking.
How to catch Birds by the Booke.
Which is done with these fiue Nets, viz.
A Falconer.
A Lure.
A Tercell-Gentle.
A Bird.
A Mongril.
Cha.
Of Iackes of the Clocke-house.
Cha. Of Ranckeriders.
How Inne-keepers and Hackney men are sadled.
To make whom goe a round pace, you must haue
A Colt.
A Snaffle.
A Ring.
Prouander.
Cha.
Of Moone-men.
Cha.
The infection of the Suburbs.
Cha. Of Iynglers.
The villanie of Horse-coursers.
Who consists of —
Iynglers.
Drouers.
Goades.
skip-iackes.
Cha.
Of Iack in a Boxe, or a new kind of cheating, teaching how to change gold into siluer: vnto which is added a Map, by which a man may learne to trauell all ouer England, and haue his charges borne.
Cha.
The Bell mans second Nights walke, in which hee meetes with a number of Monsters that liue in darkenesse.
LANTHORNE AND CANDLE-LIGHT. OR THE BEL-MANS SECOND NIGHTS WALKE.
OF CANTING. HOW LONG IT HATH BEENE A LANGUAGE: HOW IT COMES TO BE A LANGUAGE: HOW IT IS DERIUED: AND BY WHOM IT IS SPOKEN. CHAP. 1.
Complete Dramatic Works of Thomas Dekker Page 243