Chapter 40- "The Alpha" *Third person’s pnt. Of view* Adelina laid peacefully on her bed, while the EKG machine constantly beeped, reflecting her sound and alive heart. Demitrey sat unmoving on the same chair that has become his second bed, while his eyes scanned over Adelina's figure. His eyes, bloodshot from silent tears and lack of sleep, sweeper over her facial features, while his mind constantly played lively memories of his mate. She seemed so serene, and it was as though there was a faint smile just aligning her lips. This has been the picture for the past few days. Demitrey would settle on the chair after taking a shower and cleaning up in the patient bathroom, and he would spend his hours just admiring her. His eyes never leaving their target. He has yet to step foot out of the room. He only leaves the room, to go to the attached bathroom when either Kade or James come in, allotting him just enough time to shower and change his clothes. He hasn't taken a bite since the incident, and neither did he feel hungry. His body felt numb and weak. His head was pounding with a constant headache, but he wouldn't allow any relief for the pain he felt. He knew he deserved every second spent in agony, and more. He couldn't seem to think of why he went so wrong. He was so set on keeping his love safe, that he didn't realize that he was also pushing her away. Not only so, he was so worried about not messing things up with her, that he did exactly that. He thought over what Valinick explained patiently in the dungeons. He couldn't help it when his heart constricted while angered, hateful, and remorseful sobs ransacked his body. He pulled at his hair in frustration, intensifying his headache. Sometimes he covered his mouth as he cried out, his lungs hardly keeping up with air that whooshed from his mouth as he continuously sobbed his misery. His nose clogged, his throat burned and ached, but he couldn't stop himself. He was so far gone that he soon found himself punching the walls. His knuckles started bleeding, but he didn't seem to mind. He wanted to hurt himself. He wanted to feel pain for all of the wrongs he did. Especially to the one he was supposed to love. His knuckles soon became numb, and he was sure that he had broken some bones. But that didn't stop him. He deserved it. The pain. The suffering. He deserved it all. He was about to hit the wall again when Kade grabbed his shoulder. He turned him around as Kade said "pick on someone your own size." Demitrey wasn't thinking straight when he swung, and Kade captured his arm seconds before his fist could come in contact with his face. Demitrey didn't even try to fight when he found himself breaking down again. He fell to his knees and shut his eyes as tears poured out. He didn't think he had any tears left, but looks like he was wrong. Kade fell next to him, and held his best friend, as the alpha demonstrated his most vulnerable side. When Demitrey's tears were now silent, and his voice was gone, Kade quietly stood, and left the room, giving Demitrey space. He hated himself. He couldn't, and wouldn't stop the tears that haunted him. Nor did he want relief from the current knife stabbing at his heart, the pain shooting up his arms from his knuckles. He wasn't even allowing himself to heal. The pain was torture. But he deserved it. He felt like nothing. He felt below nothing. What he put his mate through, he didn't deserve to live. He should've been the one to take the bullets instead of her. She did nothing wrong. He was constantly drowning and punishing himself by reminiscing all the heartbreaking moments he put Adelina through. The image of her tears were like knives jabbing and cutting away at his heart. The memory of her weak and bleeding vessel sprawled out in his arms burned through his soul, and he once again found his eyes flooded with regretful tears, and what felt like an army marching on his head. "Alpha? Alpha?" Came Aunty D's voice, but she wasn't heard. Demitrey was so focused on punishing himself by drowning his mind in the most painful and gruesome memories of all the wrongs he did to Adelina, that he didn't even realize that there was someone else in the room. Aunty D quietly and carefully padded her feet across the room and softly placed her hand on the Alpha's shoulder. His tortured, tormented, and remorseful eyes slowly drifted over to a worried looking Diana. Diana focused on her alpha's orbs. They were empty of the happy and powerful leader, and were now just filled with regret, sadness, but most of all, the loss of hope. Diana, along with the entire pack, were now all aware of what took place in the walls of the castle between the Luna and the Alpha, and they could only imagine what their alpha was going through. Diana knew that Demitrey had every reason to feel remorse, but she didn't want him to lose hope. If its one thing Diana knew about her currently comatose Luna, was that she was a kind soul. "Alpha, you have to get some rest, and let me take care of your wounds. I assure you, the second anything happens you will be the first one contacted. And I won't allow any visitors in, and Kade and James will be standing guard at the door. You can't be an alpha if you are weak and vulnerable." Explained Diana.Demitrey looked sincerely into Diana's eyes as he said "I don't deserve to be the Alpha." Diana shook her head and said "that is nonsense talk. Nobody's perfect. You made a few mistakes. No one ever gets it right the first time.""I know. But if it wasn't because of me, she wouldn't be here right now." Sulked Demitrey, as his shoulders sagged in defeat and remorse."Young man that is enough! Now you may be my alpha, but I am still in charge of this facility. And unless you want to be dragged to bed by the ear, I suggest you straighten up, and go get some rest!" Declared Diana, as a stern look settled upon her face, and she placed her hands on her hips."Okay, okay." Sighed Demitrey, putting his hands up in surrender "I'll leave, but can I at least talk to her for a minute? In private." He looked up at Diana. Diana's stern stance relaxed, and she cleared her throat as she said "you have five minutes." With nod from Demitrey, Diana turned, and left the room, closing the door to give Demitrey some privacy. Demitrey stood and brought his chair over to Adelina's bed, where he sat. He opened mouth to begin, but found nothing to say, as his eyes started scanning her face. She sure was beautiful. Both inside and out. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth again, this time he began "Aden, I-" then he paused and sighed. He stood up and started pacing the room, while he rubbed his hands on his face, then grabbed his hair with both hand as he grunted in aggravation. "Look," he began as he turned to her lying form, "Adelina, you have to come back. Come back to the pack... Come back to me. Kade and I are trying our best to keep everything under control, well mainly Kade, but they want me and you as the Luna to take over, and I can't do that, unless you're here with me. I want you to know that I'm going to be begging and groveling for your forgiveness. But please, for now, just come back. The pack needs you." He sighed as he sat back down next to her, and looked at her face as he admitted "I need you." He could've sworn he saw Adelina's face somehow brighten, while the side of her lips slightly quirked, but he blamed that on his exhaustion, and hope. He took a deep breath as he said "Look, I'm pretty sure everything I say will probably come off as bullshit to you. But I didn't know what else to do. I'm so sorry baby, for everything. I'm not sure what I was thinking at the time, but I now know that I was wrong. I already told you, I won't blame you, nor will I try to stop you if you leave, but Adelina, please, please, I'm sorry baby. Forgive me." Pleaded Demitrey, as he broke down in sobs, and at that exact moment, he felt a soft touch that wiped his tears. He knew by the eruption of tingles who it was. But he still couldn't help his surprise, when he looked up into Adelina’s soft eyes as she smiled and said softly "shut up I'm trying to sleep." Followed by a chuckle.
Chapter 41- "The Luna" *Third Person's pnt. Of view* Demitrey's face lit up with a smile as he looked at the girl he was ready to kill himself for. She could barely keep her eyes awake, but the smile on her lips was bright and alive. "Are you going to keep smiling down at me like a creep or are you going to rest?" Questioned Adelina, as she slightly opened her eyes, then her smile widened as she added "you look like shit." Demitrey was struck dumb, and he did look like a creep because he had no comment, his mouth seem to have frozen in a bright smile, and he was just so happy to hear her voice. He didn't know how much he missed it till now. He shook his head and finally said genuinely "that was the best compliment anyone has ever given me.""Well I guess saying that
you're an ass would second that?" Asked Adelina in an innocent tone, but her smile told she knew exactly what she was doing."Anything from you my love is a compliment." Cheesed Demitrey.Adelina made show of rolling her eyes then she said "Okay sir. Now, please leave. I need to sleep, and you need a century worth of beauty sleep. So, shoo." Adelina tried to move her hands, but then decided against it when she felt the needle of her IV tube slightly shift under her skin. Demitrey once again shook his head and said "Right. Sorry Princess, I'll leave you to it. I'll come see you later?" He finished in what sounded like a question.It was silent for a second, until "Are you telling me or you're asking me?" Asked Adelina with one eye open, and a raised eyebrow."Um... I don't know." Said Demitrey, as his cheeks suddenly flushed red, and he scratched the back of his neck, his eyes looking anywhere but Adelina. Was the big bad alpha blushing? He stood from his chair, and turned his back to her for a moment. When it seems as though he had enough courage to look back at her, Demitrey pocketed his hands, as his cheeks enflamed some more then he asked sheepishly "can I?" Adelina was struck appalled. Demitrey. The big bad and ruthless alpha, was asking her, Adelina, the runaway Luna, for permission? She must have been dreaming. "You're joking right?" Asked Adelina, an unbelievable expression plastered on her face. Be still her heart, because she wasn't believing her eyes, or her ears. Demitrey drew in a shaky breath as he said "I- well, I- I'm sorry." Then just like that he shook his head, and made his way out the room. What in the world was that? Thought Adelina. Things were quite hazy since the day she got shot. She has been in and out of consciousness, and couldn't really get a grasp on her physical being. It was as if she was floating, and was in no control of herself. The last thing she is sure about, was her marking Demitrey, her connecting with his wolf, as well as the pack. Since then she felt herself wrapped in a cocoon of protection. She felt warm, and complete, but her body needed time to recuperate. And although she had lots of rest, there was always a nagging in the back of her mind that continuously brought her to consciousness. Her alpha, her mate, was in distress. She could feel his heart wrench. She could feel the regretful turmoil that ransacked his body, his mind, and his soul. His remorse was quite suffocating, and it was as if she was witnessing first hand all that stabbed at his heart. She knew he hardly slept. She knew he spent most of his time crying, but most of all she knew the reasons why. The number one was his regret, because he mistreated her and pushed her away. He caused her unimaginable pain, and he wanted to punish himself for that. He felt as though he failed at being the mate she wanted, no matter what his intentions. Number two was his fear. His fear that she would never forgive him. He feared that the minute she was healthy enough she would up and leave. He feared that he would never gain redemption for his wrongdoings towards her. Number three was hatred. Hatred for himself. His stupidity. His arrogance, but mostly, hatred for allowing past experiences to cloud his judgement. Adelina realized that Demitrey, at times, willingly drowned himself in painful memories of the past because his past is monstrous. And when he reminisced on the past and his regrets, they felt alive, like a monster out to get him. He would pursue his past, then let his fear of it torture him. If he made amends with what took place in the past, it would no longer haunt him, nor would his past serve as punishment for his mistake. While Adelina was comatose, her wolf was making contact with Trey, Demitrey's wolf. And her wolf became like two pairs of eyes that studied his past. She learned that Demitrey grew up without a mother, and he always thought that his mom didn't want him. But once his father felt like he was old enough, his father told him exactly what he did to his mother. His father ever since was harsh. Made sure that Demitrey despised everything about his mate. His past was horrendous. His father abused him, and used any tactic he could get his hands on just to make sure that Demitrey became just as heartless, and as ruthless. He tortured Demitrey mentally, painfully, and emotionally. It was so rash that Demitrey tried his best to be as perfect as he could. He wouldn't allow himself to fail. He wasn't allowed to fail. His father made sure to instill that in Demitrey's morale. But through it all, Demitrey made it out human. Demitrey offed his father the second he had the opportunity. His pack's reputation was tainted because of the father's misleading’s, but he did use that to an advantage. Demitrey no longer used the pack as a weapon, but instead a Calvary, a salvation for those who had no hope. She found out that when Demitrey found her, he was happy, until the threats started coming. She felt Demitrey's internal battle with himself when it came to her. She knows that he had good intentions, but being brought up the way he was, she realized that he didn't like to rely on anyone. Nor did he open up very easily. And, he didn't want to fail. Demitrey Jackson made a mask for himself when he was under his father's custody, and he has worn that mask ever since. Trey explained that Demitrey didn't want to let Aden know she was in trouble because just in case he failed at being a good mate, just in case he failed to protect her, he didn't want to fail her entirely. He wanted to be the mate of her dreams. The one made perfectly for her. She felt it when he beat himself up about mistreating her. She felt it when he was confused about his feelings for her. She felt it when he reminisced what her father said about mates, and she felt it when he would beat himself up for even considering his father's words. But most importantly, she felt his defeat. Demitrey was tired. He was lost, and she felt the constant regret nagging at the back of his head. Looking back at all the factors that went into the equation of his mistreating her, Adelina had no idea what to think. He was supposed to love her, but then again based on his background he could've easily rejected her, or killed her. He chose a mistress over her, but then he really did tell the truth about not sleeping with her. Even when she was leaving the hotel. According to Trey, the second Adelina walked out the door, he pushed Serena away and went to the bathroom. While he was in the shower, he heard some noises coming from the room, when he opened the door, he found Serena standing by the room door and just moaning out loud. At first Demitrey was confused, but after hearing Val's story, he figured it had to do with her and Adelina, and Serena playing the mistress. Adelina was beyond shocked. She wasn't sure what would she do. She knows of many other individuals who have suffered way worst fate than hers, and by the grace of God, she was still alive, and well he didn't reject her. He did mark her forcefully, and he hit her, but many others have been raped, beaten to the point where they end up in the hospital or worse, and some even committed suicide. She couldn't determine how she felt. It was just confusion. Total confusion. And even now, as she laid on her hospital bed, her eyes barely open, she could feel his distress, she could feel his regret, his remorse, his exhaustion, and it all felt like an elephant just sitting on her chest, and a hippo resting on her shoulders. She felt suffocated by all that Demitrey was holding inside, but there below all those layers of regret, shone something remarkable and unique. What felt shining through all those layers of despair, was something she wouldn't have dreamed to think of, or say out loud in the past. And yet even now, she was afraid to think of it, because if she admitted to what Demitrey felt, it would make everything all too real, and just waking from a coma, that four letter word would be enough to give her a heart attack.
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