by D. J. Manly
Angelo sighed. He couldn't go back. He needed to be at the studio in Phoenix tomorrow. Anyway, Tony had made him feel like such a fool. He didn't think he was ready to take that risk again.
They arrived well ahead of time at the airport.
Angelo invited Carter to have a drink with him at the bar. They sat talking casually about Carter's wife and two children, one who was in university now. It was amazing how little he knew about Carter.
"What's your first name?" he asked him.
"Carter," he replied, laughing.
"Really? What's your last name then, and don't tell me Carter," Angelo teased.
"Samson, Carter Samson, sir," the driver told him.
"Well, Mr. Carter Samson, let's have another drink, shall we?"
"You go ahead, sir. I'm driving," he smiled.
"Okay." Angelo replied. "I'll have one for you."
On the way back to Malibu, Carter thought about the Russo family for a little while. He enjoyed working for them. They were nice people, but he wouldn't want to be them. He had seen them at their best and at their worst. He had seen Johnny Russo in his drug stage, so high on cocaine that Drake and Pepi had to literally carry him out of the limo. He had also seen him engage in various sex acts in the back seat of this limo with a variety of men, but he was never happy after. He had seen Drake too through the years, dead drunk, with his various lovers who never lasted too long. He had watched Johnny and Drake---two men who desperately loved one another---tear each other apart, verbally and sometimes even physically, like the time Johnny punched Drake in the mouth after a concert a few years back.
Now, there was another generation. Just when Drake and Johnny seemed to have found peace together after discovering that they weren't really brothers, their sons were at war, not only with each other but with themselves.
Sitting at the bar with Drake's son this afternoon made him think so much of his father years ago. It brought back memories of when Drake had sat with him drinking on several occasions, his heart swollen with pain. The son was so like his father. Although Drake was a big star, deep down he was still the working class boy from Brooklyn, New York.
It astonished him, how history repeated itself. In spite of the fact that they appeared to have everything, wealth, looks and fame, Carter felt sorry for them. He pulled the limo into the underground garage at Drake Russo's house, and locked it up. He walked over to his Volkswagen Rabbit, which was parked on the far side of the house. He looked at the house for a second and then got into his car, happy to be heading home to his family.
* * * * * *
The autumn seemed to fly by for Tony, who was taking music at U.C.L.A. The program was in high demand, and very few people ended up being accepted. Even though his audition went well, he wasn't naive enough to think that being the son of Johnny Russo had had absolutely nothing to do with his acceptance.
Professor Chance Emery, the head of the music school at the University was unable to hide his excitement when Johnny, Drake and Pepi Russo attended Tony's audition in August. How in hell could he be rejected under those circumstances?
Being Johnny Russo's son, however, did have its disadvantages. The music teachers expected a hell of a lot more from him. He complained more than once to Professor Emery that he was being marked much harder than the other students.
Emery told him he had to learn to take the good with the bad, and so he worked his ass off.
It ended up being a rather lonely semester for him.
The Band left for a European tour in mid September and weren't expected home until at least March of the following year. He couldn't even visit his aunt, because Janet went with them. She and Mac had been inseparable since the wedding.
He didn't see any of the friends he had made in his last year of high school because they all moved in different circles now. As for the other students in his program, they didn't act too friendly towards him either. They either resented him, or felt intimidated by him because he was Johnny's son.
His mother hadn't contacted him since the summer, although he'd heard from his best friend Sam and his stepfather on a regular basis. Sam was working full time in the factory where his parents worked now, and seemed quite content with his lot in life.
In spite of the fact that he was busy with schoolwork, it got lonely sometimes living all by himself in his father's big house. There was a full-time maid who cleaned and cooked, but she went home to her own family at the end of the day.
He never wanted for anything. His father deposited money in his account twice a month, and he always had far more than he knew what to do with. The only thing he ached for was the one thing money couldn't buy.
The months went by, and Christmas was approaching. His father called him from every major city they played in, and sometimes he got to talk to Drake and Pepi, or Mac and his aunt.
He always asked his Dad if they had heard from Angelo. The answer was always the same: no.
In the first week of December, Drake called him from Madrid. He asked him if his exams were finished. Tony told him yes.
"Good," he said, "we'll send the jet for you. You come and spend Christmas with us in Spain. We're going to stay here for the holiday...at least until New Year's."
"Great. Wow, Madrid. Thanks, Drake. When do I leave?"
"Whenever you want to leave. How about tomorrow? Too soon?" Drake laughed.
"No way! I'm extremely bored. Hey, Drake, have you heard anything from your son? Will he come to Madrid too for the holidays?"
There was silence.
"Drake? What is it?" Tony asked him.
"I spoke to Angelo last week. He's too busy to come to Madrid, Tony. But...good news, one of the songs they were working on, they got a hit. You should be seeing the video soon. The songs started off at number forty on the hit list. Listen to the radio in the next couple of days, it's called 'Surrender'. He didn't write it, but it's pretty good."
Tony paused. "What does this mean?"
"Well...it means Company Angelo will become famous, and Angelo will have a bit more leeway to do what he wants. It means he probably won't join the band and he'll be going on the road."
"Oh." Tony replied, clearing his throat.
"So, want to do this tomorrow?"
"Yes."
"Your dad says hi. Love from everyone. See you tomorrow."
"Thanks again, Drake, bye," Tony said, hanging up.
Tony was in Madrid when he saw the video on satellite television. Company Angelo was wonderful... a three-man band, all good-looking young guys with loads of talent. Angelo had cut his hair to his shoulders, his moustache was thicker and he looked different with his black leather pants and silver chains. God, it was unbelievable how sexy he looked.
Drake had recorded the video. Tony sat up late at night and watched it over and over, just because he needed to see Angelo's face.
The time with his aunt and the band went fast. They had a wonderful Christmas. They swam in the sea and took walks along the sandy beaches. They ate duck at Christmas, and sang Christmas carols. Then they were ready to pack up and move on. They were scheduled to do a concert on New Year's Eve in Morocco.
Tony flew back to Los Angeles the day before New Year's. He spent New Year's alone, sitting in his father's massive living room. He had copied Company Angelo's video and he watched it a few times, then took it out of the machine and threw it across the room.
He made it through the winter semester and looked forward to the homecoming of everyone in March. As it turned out, the tour was extended until the end of May, thanks to Frank, and Tony was in the middle of exams when they all came home.
He was studying for a music history exam when his father walked into his bedroom and said a soft hello.
Tony jumped off the bed, whooping and hollering with excitement. "Dad, you're home. I've missed you."
He threw his arms around his father, practically knocking him over.
"Hey," Johnny laughed. "I guess you have. I've missed you too. I'v
e brought you all kinds of stuff from all over the place. Come downstairs."
"Okay, but I have to study after. I have a big exam tomorrow, the last one, thank God," he said, following on his father's heels. "Where's Drake?"
"At home. He wanted to check on things," Johnny said over his shoulder, "you know how he is."
Tony laughed. "Dad, why don't you guys sell one of the houses and...well...you're together all the time anyway?"
Johnny stopped at the bottom of the stairs and nodded. "We have discussed it, but we can't decide which house to keep. We're both attached to our houses and I don't know..." he gave Tony a sincere smile, "I really think that Drake and I might retire in a year or two."
"What?" Tony gasped. "Retire...but Dad..."
"Listen, Drake doesn't want to be a forty-year-old rocker. He says it's uncool."
Tony laughed. "What about you?"
"Well, I would like to spend more time with Drake without the pressures of the business. I'm not saying we would never perform, but it would be when we wanted to, you know?"
"Yeah, but I was kind of hoping that I might become a member of the band. I've really improved this year. I can't wait to show you some of the stuff I've learned."
"You can still join the band. Mac doesn't want to retire, and neither does Pepi. Maybe you could get together with Drake Junior, and---"
"But Angelo has his own group now. He's not going to want to do something with us."
"You never know," Johnny shrugged. "Drake has some ideas about it. We'll discuss it later on. Oh, hey."
He threw an arm around his son as they walked into the living room. There was trunks of stuff piled in the middle of the floor. "You didn't hear the news, did you?"
"What news?" Tony blinked and then went to check out the piles of stuff on the floor. "Dad, what is all this?"
"Things I bought. Anyway," he waved that away, "Janet is pregnant. Mac is going to be a dad."
"What?" Tony gasped and then started to laugh.
"Really, that's wonderful. When...I mean how far along is she?"
"Six months."
"Six months...then the baby was conceived in Europe?"
"Yep. Anyway, Drake finally got hold of Angelo to let him know that he's going to have a baby brother, or sister."
"Let's hope it's a girl!" Tony rolled his eyes.
"Why a girl?" Johnny laughed.
"Because I don't think the world could take another boy if he turns out like his big brother."
Johnny grinned. Tony shook his head. "I'm serious. The bastard! I haven't heard from him since the wedding last summer. Not even a bloody Christmas card, and I couldn't send him one either because I have no idea where to send it. Since Company Angelo has hit the big time, he seems to have no use for any of his family."
Johnny nodded in agreement and then encouraged Tony to help him unpack.
The summer went. At the end of August, Janet gave birth to a healthy seven pound, three-ounce baby girl, who they named Abigail, after Mac's grandmother.
She was a beautiful, blond little doll, and they all doted on her something terrible. The following Christmas came and went and Drake held his annual Christmas party. Angelo did not come for Christmas.
Instead, he sent a giant poinsettia and a telegram wishing them all a happy holiday, regretting that he couldn't make it because Company Angelo was on tour in South America.
Tony was extremely disappointed.
Abigail was a joy at Christmas. She was growing like a weed, and Mac was the proudest of fathers. Her older brother, who hadn't seen his little sister yet, was becoming more and more well known. Early, the following year, Company Angelo was scheduled to appear at the local music awards show in Los Angeles where his group was nominated for song of the year, and best new group of the year. The Russo Brothers Band was nominated for their new CD, and everyone was planning on attending.
Two days before the awards ceremony at the end of January, the phone rang around suppertime. Tony yelled for someone to answer it. No one heard him. The maid had prepared a cold supper and already left. God knows where his Dad and Drake were.
Tony was in the shower. He had just spent a good six hours at the university library and was exhausted.
When the phone kept on ringing, Tony turned off the shower, pulled a towel around him and ran into the hall to pick it up.
"Yeah?" he grunted, not in the most pleasant of voices.
A deep, attractive male voice drawled. "God, is that the way you answer a phone? Uncle Johnny?"
Tony gripped the phone. "Do I sound that much like my father?" he asked softly. He could hardly speak. His knees felt weak suddenly. He drew a chair up to the phone and sat down. "God, Angelo, is that really you?"
"Tony?" The voice sounded strained. "How have you been?"
"Busy...at the university. I'm almost finished my program now. Just a few months left. You're doing okay for yourself, so I see."
"Can't complain."
"Are you in L.A.?"
"Yes."
Tony's heart skipped a beat. "I see." He could hardly breathe. "Are you going come and see...your father?"
"I was planning on it. Is he around?"
"I don't know. You have a cute little sister. She's beautiful. You should really see her."
"I have."
"You...you have?" Tony was surprised. "You mean you've been to Los Angeles recently?"
There was a silence. "Look, Tony, tell Dad I'm staying with Mac and Mom, okay? Tell him to call me if he wants to see me."
"Drake?"
"Tony, don't," he said.
"What...I..."
"Just the tone of voice. Leave it alone."
Tears came to his eyes. "I wish I could hate you."
"I wish you could, too." He hung up.
Tony slammed the phone down onto the receiver, practically cracking it in two. Suddenly, he heard laughter as Drake and his father came running up the stairs.
"Where in hell have you two been?" Tony demanded angrily, standing up.
Drake and Johnny glanced at each other, and then at Tony.
"What's wrong?" his father asked, sobering.
"Drake Junior just called. He's at Aunt Janet's. He said to call him." He looked at Drake. "Did you know he had been back to L.A. before?"
There was no answer.
"Drake, goddamn it. He's been home and I didn't even know?" Tony was shaking.
"I'm sorry, Tony, he asked me not to say anything.
He said he wouldn't see me if I told you," Drake replied, his voice full of regret.
"Did you know too?" Tony asked his father.
Johnny nodded quietly.
"Does he hate me that goddamned much that he can't even stand to look at me?" Tony cried.
"He loves you," Drake said softly. "He loves you still. That's why he doesn't want to see you."
Tony turned his face to the wall. "What good is it when he won't let me near him?"
Johnny took his son's shoulder and turned him around. "Don't give up."
"Johnny," Drake snapped angrily, "stop telling him that. Tony, you'd be better off trying to forget about him."
"It's easy for you to say!" Johnny shot back. "You don't..."
"Goddamn it, Johnny, you're not doing him any favours by---"
"Stop fighting!" Tony yelled, wiping at his tears.
"Drake is right, Dad. I need to forget him. I...I've been a fool."
"You are not a fool. You're in love. What if I had given up on Drake?"
There was a silence.
"Look, you're going to see him at the music awards. Talk to him."
"He's involved with someone else," Drake announced abruptly.
Tony closed his eyes.
"Why did you have to say it like that?" Johnny snapped.
"Because it's true, and there's no easy way to say it. I don't want to give him false hope. Tony, he's been with the guy for the last eight months. They live together. It's serious this time."
"He loves T
ony." Johnny shook his head.
Drake sighed. "Tony can go on loving my son while he sleeps alone in an empty bed if that's what he wants."
Johnny watched Drake stalk off down the hall.
"Don't listen to him. He's a big cynic."
"He's right, Dad," Tony said desperately. "I'm alone. I'm lonely while Angelo is holding some other guy in his arms every night, and..."
"And you're still in love with him."
"Yes."
"Well, then..."
"Maybe you want me to hang on...it's just some kind of fantasy of yours because you're with the father. You want me to be with the son."
"And I made you fall in love with him because I have this fantasy?" Johnny demanded.
"No. I did that all on my own."
"Yes, you did. Then choose. Choose love, or choose to fill your bed. If Angelo didn't love you, I'd tell you to give up. Even Drake says he still loves you. Go after him. I can't let you give up on him. Go to him now."
"Is that guy here with him?"
"I don't know. Does it matter?" Johnny asked.
"Being with someone else doesn't convince me of anything. Both Drake and I were with many people, we still loved only each other through it all. Being with someone else is his way of protecting himself, keeping himself from thinking about you and keeping you away. Don't let that trick fool you."
Tony nodded. "I haven't seen little Abigail in a while. I'll go tonight."
"Good luck," he smiled, and walked off to his bedroom.
When Tony left for his Aunt's new house in Bel Air, he could hear his father and Drake fighting again. He was tempted to knock on the door and tell them to stop, but they'd only start again as soon as he was out the door. He felt badly that they were fighting over their sons, but there was little he could do about it.
As he drove to Bel Air, he was beginning to doubt himself. What if Angelo was angry that he had come?
What was he saying? Of course, Angelo would be angry. And what if this new guy was there? God, could he stand the sight of the man Angelo had shared his bed with over the last few months?