Back in my room, and started to dress as quickly as possible.
As I did, my mind shimmered with a long-suppressed memory from before my fall from Heaven: the first time I’d seen Lilith, flying for me on the battlefield. Then—before my fall—I’d known. I’d loved her instantly. I’d connected to her soul back then.
I pulled on a soft wool sweater. Just as I was about to go out in search of Lila, a knock sounded on the door, and my blood pumped harder. Had she come back?
When I pulled the door open, the disappointment of seeing Oswald made my stomach flip.
He gripped a piece of paper in one hand, and with the other he leaned on the door frame, looking sick.
I sighed. “Oh, it’s you.”
“You don’t sound excited to see me.”
“No, it’s fine. Why exactly are you out of bed?” I asked. “The healer will be with you as soon as she’s done with Sourial.”
He waved a hand. “I don’t need a healer. Just rest. But I have something I need to give to you. A letter that Lila dictated to me.”
My world tilted. “She dictated a letter to you? Why?”
“She seemed in a rush to go. And she doesn’t know how to write, so she came to me.”
He looked pale, worried. Whatever was in that letter, it wasn’t going to be good news.
He fidgeted with the envelope. “I could just tell you what’s in it, I suppose. But it would be a bit awkward.” He cleared his throat. “I’ll let you read it on your own. I’m going to go lie down again.”
I nodded. “Oswald, we’ll be clearing out Harlow’s room tomorrow. I’ll tell her tonight that she needs to leave.”
I saw his throat bob as he swallowed. “You might want to just read the letter first.”
And those words made my blood run cold. Why would this letter make me change my mind about Harlow?
With a rising sense of dread, I opened it.
Samael,
I’m so sorry, but you were right all along. You said that we can’t be together because we’re dangerous for each other. You told me you were not a good guy.
I didn’t believe you until I saw you kill Alice. I don’t blame you for it, because I know this is what you are. That is how you were made. You were created to destroy, and that’s what you did. I told you that the good guys take prisoners. You told me you are not a good guy. And that is what I need.
As a demon, your destruction will be endless. It’s not your fault, but you are death, and a love of death is madness. It would be self-destructive.
Lilith has grown stronger in me now. She helped me to understand the risk of staying with you. She remembers how it felt when you tore her heart out, and she won’t let me forget it.
You were right.
You must stay an angel. For my sake and for yours, you must not let yourself turn into a demon for good.
As much as it pains me to tell you this, you must marry Harlow. Immediately. Please do not delay this.
Marrying her now is the only way to stop yourself from becoming worse. And you must stop yourself from becoming as terrible a scourge as the Free Men. Dovren, the city I love, has had enough suffering. Please don’t make it any worse. We have defeated one evil. Don’t fill the world with yet another.
Marry her at once. You and I both know this is your destiny, and you are bound to it.
—Lila
I simply stared at it, the weight of a thousand rocks pressing on my heart. I’d known this was coming, hadn’t I?
Emptiness made its home in my chest.
Lilith was part of Lila now, and how could I expect someone to love me when I’d killed her before? No one could love death. She was right. It was maddening.
I’d always followed my dreams, and my dreams showed me Harlow, even if I had no desire to marry her.
I crumpled up the letter, and threw it into the fireplace. I watched it burn there.
Bitterness, like a poison, slid through my veins when I thought of marrying Harlow.
But if that was what Lila wanted—if that would make her feel safe—that was what I would do.
Lila
I lay flat on my back on an icy floor, shivering. I was in a dungeon of some kind, and my wrists were chained together above my head. From here, I could see a wooden door inset into the stone wall across from me. A set of keys hanging by the door—keys I could never access.
My feet were bound too, but none of that really mattered. They needn’t have bothered with any of the binding, because the real fucking problem stopping me from moving was the bloody knife in my chest.
I wasn’t dead yet—they would need to carve my heart out to make that happen—but the pain was excruciating. The blade weakened me beyond measure.
Icy air stung my cheeks, eating at my toes and fingers. It was well below freezing in here, and my teeth were chattering out of control. The sound echoed off the stones, far too loud in the quiet space.
I didn’t think I could move my arms or legs, not even an inch. All I could see was sunlight piercing little gaps above me, and a very faint glistening sheen of dampness on the rock walls around me. Besides my teeth, the only sound was the frigid wind whistling in through cracks in the ceiling.
I’d say this ranked up there among the worst few days of my life. And that included the time I was thrown into debtor’s prison with a man who called me “dolly bird” and licked my face.
First, there’d been Alice.
Then, there was Harlow.
After stabbing me in the chest, Harlow had shoved my limp body into the dumbwaiter and lowered me down.
I was unconscious before I reached the bottom. I didn’t see who dragged me into this dungeon. Based on the slow shifting of light in the little cracks above me, I was pretty sure I’d been here for, oh … eight hours? A day alone with a knife in my heart.
Now, my throat was parched, my lips dry, and I tried to swallow. My hands and feet were starting to go numb.
I wondered if I could just slowly waste away with a blade piercing my aorta, or if I could stay like this forever.
My mind kept turning back on something. Harlow, unsurprisingly, was evil. This was not a shock to me. She had always seemed evil. Even behind her sweetness, she seemed like a terrible person.
Samael’s dreams had helped create this situation. I supposed his dream was true. If he married Harlow, maybe he wouldn’t become a demon.
What the dream didn’t show him was that he’d be better off as a demon. That was who he was, deep down.
But it wasn’t just Harlow, was it? She hadn’t been there to let Alice out. She wouldn’t have known Sourial's handwriting well enough to fake it.
The sound of the door unlocking made my breath catch, and I craned my head to see who it was. Carrying a torch, Harlow stood in the doorway. Before the door closed behind her, I caught a glimpse of sunlight, and stairs leading up. It was snowing outside, and a gust of icy wind blew in behind her.
The door slammed shut, and darkness swallowed the room.
The shadows from the torchlight moved back and forth over her face.
“Lila, darling, I hope you’re comfortable,” she said. “It will be night soon. I imagine it will get quite chilly. Terrible winter, isn’t it?”
I closed my eyes, wondering if it was possible to conduct any sort of magic in here with a knife in my heart, but I didn’t feel like I could summon an ounce of strength. “What do you want from me, Harlow? You’ve kept me alive, so obviously you need me for something.”
“Lilith promised the Free Men you would read from the book,” said Harlow.
“Oops. Looks like she lied.” I licked my lips, desperately thirsty. “The book doesn’t control me anymore. We destroyed the bond. The connection is severed.”
She smiled at me, her grin sickly sweet. “That’s nice, sweetie. But you have a knife in your chest, and no one is going to take it out until you do what was promised. We made copies of the book, of course. You can read from those.”
The
twat had a point. I did have a knife in my chest. I didn’t really have a comeback for that one. “I’m not going to read it,” I spat, the only retort I could think of. “You can keep me here with the knife in my chest as long as you want, but I’m not reading from that fucking book. Who’s the Baron, Harlow?”
“You mean you haven’t figured it out yet?”
I stared at her, at the flames lighting up her face from below. “Pretty sure I have. But how did you end up in Samael’s dreams? How did you arrange that? His dream said that he was supposed to marry you. An agent of the Free Men was part of his destiny?”
“Yes. That’s the thing. He is supposed to die.”
“According to whom?”
“Destiny!” she shouted. “It’s what the heavens have written for him.”
“Bollocks.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t go to the castle as an assassin. I wasn’t one of the Free Men when I arrived. But once I got there, the Baron helped me understand that maybe there are more important things than being the wife of a king. That maybe restoring Albia to greatness was more important.” She bit her lip. “I could be the wife of a mortal king and not a monster. That sounded better to me.”
“You think you’re going to marry the Baron.”
“Yes, and unlike with your sister, it’s actually going to happen. Alice was filth from the slums, like you. She gave herself to him before marriage. That shows a real lack of respect for herself. I’m sure she was plenty useful, but a king must marry a certain type of woman. Someone of breeding. So if you want to know how I was in Samael’s dreams? That’s simple, Lila. It’s his destiny to die, and mine to save the kingdom. That is what the heavens have written for me. Samael is an abomination now, and I will deliver this land from evil.”
“You can’t be serious. You think you’re a savior?”
Her eyes looked feverish, cheeks pink. “We will get rid of the abomination once and for all. After I marry Samael tonight, after I give myself to him, he will die. I just want you to know that. You are a traitor to your country, and I want you to think about Samael’s death as you lie here awaiting your own.”
I was shaking now. “He won’t marry you.”
She merely cocked her head, smiling. “Oh, well, if you didn’t want him to marry me, you shouldn’t have written him a letter saying that he should.”
My heart thudded. “What? I didn’t write that.”
“Well he doesn’t know that, does he?” Her brow furrowed and she knelt down, inspecting me. “It’s sort of a shame to let you die, though. I’m enjoying this. Once you’re dead, I can’t make you feel bad anymore. What if we could leave you weak—what a wonderfully amusing life you could lead. Since you refuse to help us, maybe that’s a fitting end for you. Unless, of course, you did what we asked. Then maybe we could grant you a swift death.”
I gritted my teeth. “I thought you were leaving.”
“You know what I think we’ll do? Near the music hall, there’s a penny gaff shop. You pay a penny and people get to see the shows, the monstrosities. Once, I saw a man whose bones had grown in all different directions in his skull. He was horrific, so badly misshapen. He was called the East End Horror.” She grinned. “Do you know him? You must have seen him. When I went, I was nearly sick after. I almost vomited on the street. But men would pay a few pennies to shag anything out of curiosity, wouldn’t they? And you’re already chained up down here. The world needs a new East End Horror. That’s what we will do if you don’t read the book. Unlike angels, demons can’t die after sex with a mortal, so really it could go on for a while. Delightful.”
If I made it out of here, I would greatly enjoy killing her.
Lila
Harlow’s hand rose to her mouth, and her eyes widened with mock sympathy. “Oh dear, did I say something rude? But it’s just that if we keep you chained up like this, with a knife in your chest, think of the endless amusement you could provide for people. The grotesque monster, chained to a dirty floor. The revolting traitor, Lila.” She giggled. “Did you really think that someone like you would get a happy ending?”
I clenched my jaw, wanting to shriek and rage at her, but all I could think about was Samael and how she wanted to kill him.
He wouldn’t do it, would he?
“He won’t marry you,” I said again. I wasn't sure if what I was saying was the truth. It felt more like a plea, a desperate prayer to the heavens.
“I told you,” said Harlow, “he has already agreed. He was easily convinced by the letter that you sent, the one written by Oswald. And why was he so easily convinced, I wonder? I think it’s because men want purity, don’t they? I’ve never been with a man. That’s what he wants. You’re used up.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “That’s a pity for the Baron then, isn’t it? He won’t really want a used-up wife. Don’t you think maybe he’s just using you?”
Her lip curled, and fury contorted her features. “He understands the sacrifice I’m making. I’m doing it for the kingdom. He understands that. It’s patriotism.”
“Or maybe he’s just a lying asshole,” I said. “He lied to Alice, didn’t he? And Alice is dead now. He let that happen because he doesn’t give a fuck about other people.”
The flames danced in her eyes. “No, it’s not the same. He fell in love with me. I’m not like Alice. And the Baron is a real man. Unlike Samael, he doesn’t waver in the face of his destiny. Because a real man has a backbone of steel.”
A backbone of steel. I’d heard that phrase before. “Do you really think—”
“Shut up!” she shouted. Her expression looked wild now, frantic. She pulled something off the floor behind me, a filthy rag. She shoved it into my mouth, choking me. It tasted of mold and dirt.
Fuck.
“I don’t want to hear another word out of you.” She was shaking now, and I could see the torch wavering. “I’m going to report to the Baron that you will not help us. And you know what? We don’t need you anyway. Once the angel of death is dead, there will be little standing in our way. We have an entire army, and we can cleanse the city ourselves. They’re on their way now. We will burn the streets with our own fire, use our own swords. We don’t need you, or your army of demonic beasts. Samael’s dead body will hang in the street.”
Panic climbed up my throat. I wondered if I could call to my army of beasts from here, but I felt that they were still too far away. And in any case, the knife was weakening me.
“I want to tell you something.” She leaned closer, her eyes gleaming. “You know what they did in the old days? The glory days of Albia? They put heads on pikes, let their eyes get picked out by birds. A message to all traitors—this is what happens if you betray your kingdom to outsiders. That will be Samael.”
Frantically, I searched the room. I couldn’t see any signs of plant life, but it was always under the surface. There was life under the city, under the stones and the soil. The question was, did I have enough strength to summon it?
Harlow was still talking to me about Samael, but I was tuning her out now.
My fingers curled into tight fists. I imagined thorny greenbriers bursting forth from the floor, ripping her into shreds.
If I could summon the vines, I could use one to pull out the knife in my heart. That was all it would take to fill me with strength. Even though I could hardly move, I felt the palms of my hands connecting to the stones under me. I tried to summon the power that lived beneath the earth. I could bring the world alive again.
But all I felt was a faint trickle of magic. Not nearly enough.
Fuck.
What exactly could I do without serious magic at my fingertips?
Harlow smacked me across the face. “I will do my best to console Samael tonight. All I need to do is shag him once, and the threat of the big bad angel of death is all over. The entire army of the Free Men is marching south. Within hours, we will be cleansing the city at last.”
She let out a long, dramatic sigh. “Okay.
This has been fun, but I have to go get ready. I’m going to wear that beautiful, virginal, white gown and white lacy underwear. If the count is having any second thoughts, I’m sure he will forget them when he sees how hot I look. One last hurrah before he dies, right? I’m not a terrible person. I will make sure he enjoys it.”
She flashed me a beaming smile, and I regretted deeply that I couldn’t cut her head off with the greenbrier. “I’ll be back for you, and then we’ll figure out what to do with you. I imagine the Baron will be here for you soon. I’m afraid traitors don’t get to die a painless death. You should see what he’s done to the others that he’s held captive.” She waggled her fingers in the air. “Toodaloo, darling. Have a good night!”
The door slammed behind her, and my heart sank.
So far, I hadn’t seen anything that would give me a clue about where I was.
Ruddy sunlight streamed in through a few cracks in the ceiling, but I couldn’t see more than the icy sheen on the rocks. Slowly, the red light dimmed as darkness gathered outside. Night was falling, and it was only getting colder.
My teeth chattered, the cold air stinging my skin.
When I closed my eyes, I could feel my army moving even closer, my beasts racing through the forests. When they arrived, they could tear Oswald’s throat out, then go for Harlow. They were swift, my beasts, charging through the snow.
But I didn’t think they’d arrive in time.
I needed another plan. A way to signal to Samael that I was here, that I hadn’t written the note.
In the cathedral, I’d managed to summon some magic. Even when I was weak and tired, I’d made the room bloom with tiny lights. I’d created the galaxy of little glowing mushrooms.
Could I do that again?
I closed my eyes again, and I felt the city’s magic humming through my blood, gently. And in that magic, I felt my oldest friend, the Raven King.
He’d told me he would always be there when I needed him. Maybe he couldn’t give me the godlike power that I wanted right now, but he was here with me. And his presence alone made me feel stronger.
Possessed (Hades Castle Trilogy Book 3) Page 16