That was intriguing.
I looked at Wren. 'Let me finish your roast, but after that, if you don't mind, I would like that memory.'
Wren was fine with that. He wanted me to tell him how I made roast. So I did.
It was late when the roast had finally cooled and rested enough for me to slice it and I gave Wren some of the still warm meat before I went to settle on the lounge. The cat came in several minutes later. He would give me the memory and then leave me to experience it in private, but he would be nearby if I needed him.
I thought it would be quick and, despite Bastien's warning, did not think it would be too awful, but I was wrong on both counts. It was like watching a movie in your mind, not quite like a dream, but with the same all-encompassing feel to it. I saw my daughter relate everything that had happened to her and Therion. Every time her face crumpled with emotional pain and every tear that dropped silently down her cheeks wrenched at my heart. I realised this was Bastien's memory, that she had told him this and he had given me his memory of it through Wren. I felt sad, angry, and, at times, despairing and furious. These, I realised were Bastien's emotions.
When I brought my hand up to wipe tears from my face, I realised I was crying. Damn. Damn, damn, damn it all. I'd disapproved of her relationship, but what she felt for Therion had been real. And he had given up everything for her. Not everything, just 'everything', in that exaggerated way you can say it, but: Everything.
My daughter needed me. Not necessarily physically there, all the time. But she needed to know I understood her loss. Understood what it meant to her. Like when I'd lost Zack. He'd been gone for over a decade now, but my heart still ached to my core when I thought about him being gone.
I texted Bastien, thanking him for sending Leya to see if she could find trace of Therion and for providing the memory. I asked when I could next visit Jay. He replied almost immediately that Jay was sleeping, but if I had time tomorrow after work, he was sure she would find my visit something to look forward to.
Tomorrow then.
I felt sapped of energy and, rather than get up, I curled over on the lounge, pulling a cushion under my head, and closed my eyes.
At some point through the night I roused to find the throw blanket that had been on my recliner over me. I started to panic; someone must be in the house.
Rest easy, Wren told me. He had covered me.
I saw him then, curled up on the recliner opposite me, cobalt-blue and teal eyes like gems in his enigmatic, dark face. I fell asleep to the soft sound of him purring.
Jay
Today I'd consumed two cups of coffee, made by Bastien, and ate food, also made by Bastien. If you'd seen him opening up one of those wolf creatures with his sword looking like he was having the time of his life, you'd never believe he could make coffee and salad. Then I watched two movies— I can't remember what. Mum visited, too. She said she needed to apologise for not realising just how deeply I cared for Therion and how much I felt his absence. It had made me uncomfortable; I didn't feel she needed to apologise, but she believed it was necessary and so I accepted it, assuring her that I understood. After that I felt too tired to keep my eyes open and had a nap. I only needed an hour this time, which was an improvement.
Most nights, Amelia usually visited after I went to sleep, I couldn't keep myself up much past nine. That was also when Bastien took the opportunity to go out, probably to get his version of food, but none of us said that bit aloud. But yesterday Amelia had made arrangements to arrive earlier and I found I could actually carry on a half-decent conversation without thinking about Therion every five seconds. Alyssa had also been coming up most afternoons. She knew I needed distracting and did remarkably well at it. Fortunately, tonight, I had no visitors. After Mum's visit, I didn't think I had the energy. Bastien had made dinner, a stir-fry. It tasted good. How did a vampire, who didn't eat, know how to cook? I'd have to remember to ask him. I watched another movie and then forced myself to take a few turns around the courtyard and shower— no more dramatic breakdowns there, either, thankfully.
Now… Now I was getting ready for bed and that's when I came across it: Therion's bag.
Therion didn't seem to actually have a lot of belongings, but he had disappeared a few times and once he returned with a travel bag. I picked it up and put it on the bed, climbing up to stare at it in a kind of apprehensive trance. I took a deep breath and used the exhalation to lean forward, stretching out a hesitant hand. I told it to stop shaking, cursed when it didn't, and leaned back. It would contain clothes, just clothes… But they would be Therion's clothes, they might smell of him, remind me of him. I wasn't sure I was ready for memories just yet. I was still trying to figure out how to get my life back together. Hardest of all would be reminding myself that I hadn't made Therion strike that deal. I wasn't responsible for the suffering he was experiencing. Trying to deal with the guilt, frustration, and helplessness of such futile denials was going to be another thing altogether, and it wasn't named 'Easy'.
After another minute, I reached out my hand and pulled the bag closer. I was curious also. I found a suit jacket and pants, two shirts, a pair of black, cargo pants, and two t-shirts. Both tees were black, one with an abstract griffin design in silvers and greys and the other, creased, worn and not washed, with a lion in the same kind of design.
In one side pocket I found two mobile phones. They looked like they had melted. After a moment, I remembered that Therion had been practicing using his own energy to charge electronic devices. He'd had four other phones, two of which had ended up looking a little like these ones, but the other two he had managed to recharge without damaging them. He'd been so pleased with himself and remembering his smile made my chest ache. In the other side pocket, there was a small device. At first I thought it was another mobile, because it was the same size as one. Then I noticed it was thinner and a bit smaller than a standard phone and where there'd be a screen there was a smooth space with an indent in the top, like you could place a small pyramid-shaped object in it pointy-end down. Bastien might know what it was, I thought. Aside from a phone charging cable, that was it, that was everything Therion had brought with him.
I sank back on the bed, looking about the room, at the furniture, the books, the clothes... All he had, everything Therion possessed, barely filled a bag.
I pulled off my t-shirt and pulled on the lion tee. It didn't smell strongly of him, but I drew a kind of irrational, sentimental kind of comfort from it. Packing the rest up, I put it back in my closet. I tugged off my track pants and crawled into bed in Therion's t-shirt and my cotton boxer shorts. Curling up around a pillow I pulled the covers over me. Something cold with hard edges rolled against my legs. I searched in the covers to fish out a… stone. It looked like a gemstone, kind of like a large diamond, but it was black. I frowned at it. It must have fallen out when I was going through Therion's bag. I wondered what it meant to him, was it some kind of keepsake?
The room was completely dark. I was in the habit of moving around with the lights off, now, unless I needed them for something specific. Therion had preferred the dark and Bastien didn't need the light, so when I turned off the lights in the kitchen, I didn't bother turning on any lights in the bedroom. The natural light that filtered into the room from the window flickered, as if a shadow had moved through it.
'Just me,' Bastien murmured. 'I was checking to see if you had settled into sleep rather than exhausting yourself with endless 'what-ifs' and useless guilt.'
I twisted around onto my back and pushed myself up against the pillows. 'I'm not quite exhausting myself,' I retorted dryly. 'But I wouldn't consider myself guilt-free.'
Bastien sat on the bed, he nodded towards me. 'I see he left a few things behind.'
I realised he meant the t-shirt. 'You recognise this?' I said with some surprise.
Soft laughter answered my query. 'Not much that Therion owned lasted more than several months. Either it got damaged in a fight or he lost it. He wasn't used to
'owning' a lot of things and shopping wasn't an activity with which he was comfortable. In the end, we developed an informal arrangement where he made use of my wardrobe.'
I raised my eyebrows in surprise and then found myself laughing too. 'Does that mean I can't credit Therion for a sense of fashion?'
'No, no, some things he chose himself— we are the same size and I let him select from my wardrobe, so he applied his own taste, just from a very exclusive 'store', so-to-speak. He used to get his suits through a hotel service, but I later convinced him to let me get one tailored to him. I'd get him new ones using his measurements from that, or I should say, my personal assistant did.'
I remembered the conversation I'd overheard where one of Thomas's clan had related how Bastien had ended up giving Therion his boots because Therion said he found his own uncomfortable.
I frowned. 'Wait, you have an assistant?'
I got a nod. 'Mmhmm. How do you think I run my businesses without leaving here for several days?' He said it with amusement rather than sarcasm.
I was rolling Therion's crystal between my fingers, feeling the smooth planes and precise edges. Bastien tilted his head and jutted his chin forward. 'Something else of his?' Curiosity laced his tone.
Holding it out to him, I said, 'It could be for a pendant or charm.'
Bastien's expression became very still after I dropped the crystal into his hand.
'What is it?' I found myself whispering apprehensively.
I got a distracted glance. 'A… a data crystal…' He glanced up again to see my confused look and then shook his head. 'The supernatural world is not one credited with its own technology, but it exists. A data crystal is exactly that— a crystal that holds data. You need a crystal reader or a computer designed or customised to read one.' A deep frown furrowed his brow as he handed it back to me. 'You found no such item, a reader or a laptop-like device? It'd be smaller, like a large mobile or small e-pad...'
Bastien was already opening my closet door before I could answer. He found Therion's bag and put it on the bed.
'In the side pocket there's this, device, I guess you could call it. It's small, though, like a phone.'
Bastien found it and made a murmuring sound as he looked at it. 'It's the right thing, just a lot newer than mine. He must have got it from Envoy, they supply him with anything he needs that I don't.'
'Envoy, that's the organisation the angels use to facilitate things in the human world, isn't it?'
'Mmhmm,' Bastien responded, looking distracted.
'Do you think there's something of importance on it?' I asked, meaning the data crystal.
'I'd say so,' he answered as he rose and went into the main room. I trailed behind him.
He got his laptop out of his bag and moved over to the dining table to put it down and open it. He returned to his bag to get his power cord and another cord that looked like a USB cable before returning to the table. He pulled out a seat and gestured for me to sit and then plugged in his laptop and connected the small device he'd taken from Therion's bag using the other cable.
I still had the data crystal in my hand and had been holding it so tightly I had indents in my palm. One end of the data crystal would fit into the space in the reader device. Bastien's laptop was fairly small, at a guess the screen was about six inches, but it was thinner than I had ever seen. Instead of having a keyboard and screen, it had two screens. At a touch, several icons appeared. Bastien started tapping various icons, symbols, and little windows on the screens. The reader device started to glow a soft blue, not the whole device, just a line around its outer edge and the inverted pyramid in the top section.
Bastien looked up at me and I handed over the crystal.
He didn't slot it in or press it in, instead he just dropped it above the indentation. I leaned my head on the table. The crystal didn't actually plug into the device, it kind of… floated, just millimetres above its slot. After a few moments, it started to glow, and I realised the crystal wasn't actually black but a red so dark it looked almost black.
I focussed on Bastien's screen, a new icon appeared, but I couldn't make sense of it. Bastien opened it to find three more icons. Each with a different but just as foreign symbol like the first icon. Bastien tapped one of the icons and the crystal seemed to flash in response. Then two tiny arms clicked out of the device holding the crystal with miniscule lights on the end. They rotated around until they focused on Bastien.
'It's a virtual screen,' Bastien murmured. Then, he cursed softly and pushed the device away; the miniature lights dimming a moment later. He pulled his laptop closer and brought up a keyboard on the lower screen. Well it looked similar to a keyboard, but it was laid out in curved sections and full of symbols I didn't recognise. He started typing on the lower screen pausing occasionally to tap at the upper screen. He swore again in what I now thought of as his native language.
After several more minutes he heaved out a sigh and pulled Therion's device closer to him, the little lights brightened and the miniature arms adjusted slightly; I guess so that they were focused on his eyes properly to project the virtual screen he'd mentioned. I repressed the urge to ask questions. Interrupting his thoughts wouldn't speed the process. All the furious tapping must have been Bastien trying to get the laptop to translate the message and, having given up, he was now slowly reading it. He knew the language but wasn't fluent in it. Bastien frowned at one point and muttered again in his native tongue. He fell silent and his expression became thoughtful. I tilted my head up at him as I waited with my impatience barely reined in.
Finally, Bastien turned to me and spoke. 'This crystal holds research Therion stole from the Dark Realm, and…' His pause dragged out and my eyes narrowed as I tried to figure out why he was so reluctant to continue— and it was reluctance, it radiated from him. I'd seen that expression, that body language in my Mum and her colleagues, whenever they had to deliver bad news; your loved one was in a terrible accident; we found your loved one, but…
'I already know what Therion discovered—'
Bastien was shaking his head.
I straightened up. 'Bastien, I may not be completely recovered from this… experience, but I can handle more bad news if there is some,' I told him, trying to keep the exasperation from my voice.
He started to say something, paused, and then said, 'Not entirely. Therion recorded a message for you. A spoken one,' he added, 'you won't need a translator. From what this message to me says, you may not be happy about all he will say. You already feel guilt and grief over his return to the Dark Realm and I fear this will just reinforce it.'
'You want me to tell you I'm not ready to hear it.'
'But you won't.'
'I'm sorry, Bastien. You've done a lot for me, but if Therion has left me a message…'
He didn't quite smile, but I could tell he'd expected my answer. There was respect, too, that I wouldn't hide from it. 'Do you want to be alone?'
I thought about it, he might as well stay. After all, he'd seen me at my worst and some of the message might cover things he should know. I told him this but gave him the option of bowing out if he was uncomfortable. Bastien wordlessly adjusted the reader so it was straight on to me and tapped at the laptop. That's when I fully realised what he meant by virtual screen, almost as if by magic, Therion's face appeared and I forgot Bastien was in the room.
I'd thought Bastien had meant an audio recording, but it was a video and although only I could see the video, the sound was coming from the device, so Bastien was able to hear it, too.
'Jayden,' Therion's face looked down briefly and then his gold eyes were meeting mine as if he was in the same room. 'This is not easy because I have deceived you through omission. I know… I mean, by the time you see this, you will discover that I knew the outcome of my final confrontation before it occurred. I tried to prepare you for it, but knew you would never agree to my plan and, selfishly, once we became…' he frowned and sighed, 'I cannot remember the correct term, but when w
e connected—'
'Lovers,' I mouthed silently.
'—I did not want to waste the time in your presence arguing. When I went to the Dark Realm, I managed to steal Ulyn's data crystal containing her current research. After my return and the confrontation with Uea, I visited an Envoy property and borrowed one of their readers to review the data. I did so while you slept. I knew Ulyn wanted you because you have, as I explained, a yulari spirit. Each yulari sprit is strong on its own, but the older one is, the purer, stronger a resource it is for Ceri-talen. You, Jayden, are one of the oldest ever hunted,' he paused, letting the long moment of silence emphasise the significance of his revelation.
'When I came to suspect that you were not a random selection, I had no notion that, in fact, Ulyn has been watching you since you were a young child. She has discovered that at regular intervals yulari spirits are more vulnerable, it has to do with their connection to the earth and nature. She calls these events transcendent equinoxes because it has to do with the balances in this realm becoming close to even. She used one of these times to track down several yulari spirits and has been monitoring them while she waited for the next equinox, which is about now. One happened when you were a child and the next when you were a teenager.'
I had a feeling that those instances had more significance, but I didn't understand that yet.
'Ulyn was most interested in you because she eventually determined that of those she found, many were too young, some ascended, and of the others you were the eldest. She had you watched as she waited for the next equinox. However, she was frustrated, for although it was sad for you, the death of your father and mother's mother actually protected you. Your mother's mother's death,' he said the phrase very slowly. A part of me wanted to intervene and tell him the word he wanted was grandmother, he seemed so real, so present. But as I opened my mouth to say something, I realised my mistake and felt a tear slip down my cheek.
Soul Taker's Redemption Page 56