by T L Harty
The Chinese food was cold by the time we arrived at the beach, but I couldn’t remember a meal I had enjoyed more.
Driving back to campus, we talked about our music preferences, goals and hopes. It’s amazing what can be covered in forty-five minutes. When we pulled up to the party, Greg inhaled.
“Well, let’s get this over with,” he said. “What are you doing tomorrow? I’d like to hang out with you again.”
“Going to the library all day,” I grimaced. “But, I’m free after 5.”
“Perfect! I have a football game tomorrow afternoon anyway. Don’t move. I’m going to go around and open your door.” He got out, quickly rounding the truck. He opened the door, putting out his hand. I placed my hand in his and hopped down from the truck.
“Thank you,” I said, retrieving my hand. “Well, are you ready for this party?”
“Nope,” he answered. “How about you?” I shook my head. “Great,” he smiled. “Let’s not be ready for this together.” He held out his hand again. I looked at it for a second, eventually accepting the sweet gesture.
The party was in full swing when we arrived. There were the expected glares from the girls who wished they were holding Greg’s hand. I tightened my grip as we walked through the frat house. All the football players were there, but many of them weren’t drinking.
“Can I get you something?” he asked.
“Whatever you’re going to have is fine.”
“We can’t drink before a game,” he said. “If coach finds out, we can get kicked off the team. Worse yet, they can keep us and punish us for as long as they like.”
“But…” I said, pointing to the players at the table, who were arm wrestling, as some sort of drinking game.
Greg smiled. “Those idiots aren’t on the football team. They get ahold of old jerseys or buy them from players that didn’t make the cut,” he explained. “They believe it increases their chances with the ladies…the sad thing is- they’re not wrong.”
“Why aren’t you wearing your jersey?”
“I don’t like the attention,” he replied. “Besides, it’s pretty obvious, given my size. I’ll be right back. I’m going to get you a beer.”
He was right about that. Greg had to be about 6’4” and extremely muscular, with a thick neck. He had dark hair and light eyes, but our lack of direct eye contact, made it hard to make out exactly what color they were. Watching him walk away, reminded me of my favorite physical attribute of his, or asset. The pun made me smile.
“Well, well, look what the cat drug in!” Rick announced.
Clearly, Rick was intoxicated. He had one hand on a cup full of alcohol and the other around a girl. It wasn’t Jenna…no surprise there. Things change quickly in Rick’s world.
“You never made it to dinner. Are you and my buddy getting along?” Rick winked.
Greg came back and handed me a can of beer. “Yes, we are,” Greg answered Rick. “Sorry about dinner, man, we drove to my beach spot and hung out for a while.” Greg put his arm around me, pulling me close. I’d never leaned into superman, but this must be what it felt like.
“Your beach spot!” Rick practically whined. “I’ve never even gone to your beach spot! And we’ve been friends forever.”
Greg rolled his eyes. It confirmed that Greg really hadn’t let anyone else go there with him. I felt special in an instant.
“She’s prettier than you are, Rick,” Greg joked. “Can you see that she gets home alright, tonight? Meaning you need to stop drinking right now.” Rick shook his head up and down, like a scolded little boy, while he put his cup down.
“I’ll take care of her,” Rick agreed. “C’mon,” he said to the girl with him, “let’s go dance.” They walked toward the music.
“Listen,” Greg started, apologetically. “I have to go because the team has an early breakfast together. We need to make sure we’re fueled for the game. I should have been in bed an hour ago, but I’m really enjoying hanging out with you.”
“I can go home now,” I told Greg. “I really don’t mind.”
“No, stay. This is your first college party and I really want you to hate it, so we can hang out all the time instead,” he explained. “Rick will take good care of you. He’d never let me down.”
Greg gave me a big hug, kissing the top of my head. Earlier that night, I thought I’d be fighting him off but, now, I wished he’d try something. I was smitten.
“Goodnight,” I said, looking up at him, hoping to receive an actual kiss. He touched the side of my face, wished me goodnight and left.
My first college party wasn’t bad at all. I drank a few more beers throughout the evening and had one shot of tequila, enough to keep me buzzed all night. I danced by myself and with groups of people for the next couple of hours. When one guy came on a bit too strong, Rick whispered something in his ear, which made him back off immediately.
“It’s one o’clock and I haven’t had anything to drink since Greg left,” Rick said. “Can we go soon? This isn’t much fun for me anymore.”
“Sure,” I yelled over the music. “Let’s go.”
We started walking toward the dorm because neither of us were in a condition to drive. Besides, it was only a two mile walk, at most.
“So, you and Greg, huh?” Rick inquired.
“He’s amazing! He’s so sweet and attentive…and what an ass!”
“You’re drunk,” Rick said flatly.
“True,” I agreed. “What did you whisper into that guy’s ear at the party when he started to get fresh?”
“I told him that you and Greg are dating. Greg’s sister graduated from here last year and Greg felt the need to rough up many boys on her behalf. He has a bit of a reputation.”
“He seems so calm and together. I can’t even picture him getting mad.”
“Well, that’s the scary thing. He doesn’t seem angry at all when he’s inflicting pain…acts like it’s all in a day’s work. Just be honest with Greg,” Rick advised. “He deserves that much. You’re beautiful and I’m sure you have guys trying to talk to you all the time. Greg’s not the jealous type, but he needs you to reassure him, like any man would.”
Hearing this from Rick was startling. “Are you seriously doling out relationship advice right now? Am I being instructed on male/female interactions by the whore of Royce Hall?!”
He smiled proudly. “I know that’s supposed to be insulting, but I worked hard to attain that title.”
His response was irritating, but not unexpected. A vision came over me, revealing different wedding scenes. I saw my parents wed, my grandparents, generations of couples before that, including Boudica and her king. I fell to the ground, moaning.
Suddenly my wedding day came into view. I strained to recognize the groom at the front of the church as I slowly marched down the aisle. Greg would be the groom, I knew it. The veil barely impeded my vision. Turn around, I thought to myself, turn around to look at me. I recognized friends and family in the church pews, but I longed to see the groom…my future husband. In slow motion, the man turned to reveal himself. It was Rick.
I gasped very loudly when coming out of the vision and sat up. Rick sat beside me, with a terrified look on his face. No way would this man ever be my husband. Ridiculous.
“Are you O.K.?” he asked. “Greg would kill me if anything happened to you on my watch.”
I stared at Rick in silence, revisiting the ludicrous notion that he would be my husband.
“I’m fine,” I answered. “Apparently, I’m not a very good drinker. Maybe all that dancing was a bad idea, too. Let me sit here for a moment. I’m kinda dizzy.”
“Take your time,” Rick said.
After a few minutes, I started getting to my feet. Rick stood up to help.
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright getting to the dorm?” he asked.
Our dorm was now about fifty yards away. “I’m sure.”
Rick reached up and put his hand on my forehead, possibly check
ing for a fever. He then rubbed his hand on his pant leg.
I laughed. “I told you I danced a lot.”
“Guess so,” he said. “You’re a sweaty mess.”
Chapter 8- Breadcrumbs
I slept for a couple of hours during the beginning of the flight, but it troubled me that the rest was peaceful, completely unaffected by the events of the day.
There were no emotions welling up inside of me…no pain- only indifference. I selfishly hoped this meant there would be no more visions starring “her.” Where was the guilt or shame- something to remind me a heart still beat in my chest?
The lavatory sign showed a vacancy, so I went to use the restroom. When washing my hands, a vision overcame me. My grandparent’s getting in the car for the final time. They yawned because of the drugs they had been given, and then slowly fell asleep from the hum of the road, as they traveled. I cried uncontrollably, trying to stifle the sounds of the weeping.
The saving grace was that they didn’t see anything coming. Perhaps they died as their most beautiful dreams played out. For Gramps, he would be fishing and Grammy would be traveling in style. Or, maybe the three of us would be together, laughing about Gramps cheating at cards again.
After blowing my nose and wiping away tears, I exited the bathroom. The plane had an interesting seating arrangement. There were two small tables on each side of the plane and four chairs around them. Some people were flying backward. The plane seated sixteen, but we were so spread out that there wasn’t a nook to escape to…to be alone.
Both Ann and Tina had a seat vacant beside them up front. I chose to sit by Ann. What I really wanted to do was grab the closest parachute and hope for the best. We exchanged a smile, but no words were spoken for a few minutes.
“How are you doing?” Ann asked.
“Fine.”
“A lot of stuff went down in Florida,” she pointed out.
“Yep.” Surely, my one word answers would be a hint that there was no interest in a conversation.
“You didn’t know your mom had anything to do with your grandparent’s death until today, did you?”
“Nope.”
It seemed rude not to engage in some feeble attempt at conversation, but Ann finally got the hint. The rest of the flight was practically silent. Some muted voices behind me could be heard now and again, but no lengthy conversations.
Until we returned to the castle, where I saw Deidra, my countenance remained frigid. Her hug returned warmth and life to my being. I didn’t want to let go of my girl.
“Why don’t you and I get some dinner and eat under the stars?” I suggested.
She flashed a warm smile, which meant yes. We got food from the kitchen and headed to the lounge chairs on the ground floor. It was chilly, but we decided to tough it out. When we got outside, Deidra shut off the patio light. The stars appeared as though they had been hiding, giving us plenty of celestial light to dine. We settled in.
“I miss you, Mom,” she said in a whisper.
“You do?”
She merely nodded.
“I’m not sure what you mean,” I urged.
“I was really pumped about this whole Oris thing,” she started. “I mean, this is pretty cool. We live in a castle! But, it’s changing you. It feels like there are parts of you that are slowly evaporating. I miss those parts.”
I didn’t understand what she meant by that comment. There were times Deidra spoke like a wise, old woman. It took a while for me to catch on. I squinted at her, signaling that further explanation was necessary.
“You used to laugh more,” she said. “You used to hum or tap your fingers to a song. You used to be interested in people and care deeply about certain causes. I’m not sure how to describe it, but you’re not as emotional or something.”
My eyes filled with tears. Deidra could be right. Stopping to think about her comments, she was absolutely correct in her assessment.
“I can see what you mean,” I said. “It’s not a good excuse, but I’ve been so preoccupied with my thoughts. The idea of being a queen…the realization of these gifts…trying to understand our people’s history- I’m overwhelmed. My brain is so overwrought with all these new topics that I haven’t been very light-hearted or joyful. I’ll try concentrating on being more like me.”
Deidra smiled, lying back in her chair to look up at the stars. “You know, the people that were in cahoots with your mother will still be looking for us,” Deidra announced.
“I know.” I tapped my fork on the plate, thinking. “I need to understand why they’re looking for us.”
“From what I’ve been taught,” Deidra said. “It’s very simple.”
I raised my eyebrows. “Do tell, Ms. Smarty-pants.”
“Everyone around the castle says how lucky it is that they found you first,” Deidra explained. “Apparently, you could have gone either way…good or evil. Legend seems to spell out your potential. People will try to exploit that.”
“Hmm, are you excited about meeting your first candidate tomorrow?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
“He’s not running for office, Mom!”
“Well, what should we call them?”
“We should call them by their names,” Deidra scolded. She gazed at the stars and sighed, “Tomorrow Braden will be here. According to his personality sheet, he plays soccer, his favorite food is pizza and his best subject in school is chemistry. That’s all I can remember.”
“Isn’t that all you need to know when selecting a man?”
We looked at each other and busted up laughing.
“Have you read over all their sheets?” I asked. “Is there anyone that jumps off the page and interests you?”
“I have high hopes for a kid called Owen,” Deidra answered. She nodded her head up and down. “There is a section of the questionnaire where they write what kind of relationship they want. Most of them said things like ‘we’ll have to talk about that’ or ‘I don’t know yet.’ Owen wrote that his ideal relationship would be to grow up and old together, while never forgetting to enjoy the trip.”
“He sounds very mature for his age,” I observed.
“Not sure about all that- he did sound fun, though,” Deidra remarked.
My motherly urge to lecture Deidra on needing more than a fun man was suppressed because fun should be an adjective used by a young girl. The fact that Deidra is only thirteen sometimes slips my mind.
“Well, I’m going to go to bed,” Deidra said. “Need to get my beauty rest for boy number one.”
We hugged and kissed each other goodnight.
The night was young and I longed to see Bruce. I didn’t want to keep the baby a secret anymore and tonight was as good a night as any to let him know he would soon be a father. He’d be giddy with excitement. Maybe I’d be able to slip into bed with him, sleeping until morning.
I tip-toed over to his apartment after putting on my pajamas. Climbing the stairs to his loft bed, I found Bruce fast asleep, which made me have second thoughts. I turned around to go back down the stairs and back to my room. Bruce needed his rest.
“Don’t go,” Bruce whispered.
“I didn’t mean to wake you, but I really wanted to see you.”
He smiled. “Well, come sit with me for a while. Tell me how everything went in Florida.”
I waved off the Florida inquiry. “I’m not going to bore you with that right now. How are you feeling?”
“Better now that you’re here,” Bruce answered.
“You’re so cheesy.”
“You like cheese, so that works out for me.”
I rolled my eyes.
Once we spent the next hour or so together, I felt comfortable sharing my secret.
“Can we talk about something?” I asked. “It isn’t something the council wants you to know yet, but it’s important that I tell you.”
“You should listen to the council’s advice. They must be giving it to you for a reason.”
“I do
n’t care,” I said. Sitting on the edge of the bed, while looking into Bruce’s eyes- this was the perfect moment. “We’re pregnant.”
Bruce smiled, as his eyes began to tear up. “This is wonderful news!” He fought through the pain and sat up to hug me.
This couldn’t have gone any better.
“Will you marry me? I don’t have a ring or anything, but you need to be my wife. Please say yes.”
“Of course!” I melted.
“I’d really like to name him after my father, if that’s O.K. He’s the one that convinced me to wait for you,” Bruce beamed.
I placed my hand over his as it rested on my belly.
Smiling, I said, “It’s a girl, Bruce. But, Ardan would make a lovely name for a girl, too.”
He pulled his hand away, while the smile disappeared. He shook his head. “Impossible. The baby can’t be mine if it’s a girl.”
“Of course it’s yours. Don’t be silly.” I laughed a little until it was clear that Bruce wasn’t joking…not in the least. “Bruce, this is your child. I haven’t been with anyone else.”
“You went to go see Rick in Vermont,” he countered. “The timeline is about right.”
I rose from the bed. We couldn’t continue to be in the same room- not after that last comment. The windows of the apartment all blew out and I could barely hear the glass raining down on the cement outside. A sign that a bigger storm was coming.
After leaving the apartment, I made my way outside into the meadow, at the back of the castle. Everyone probably rested in their rooms or prepared for bed. The anger building inside also produced fear. If anyone made contact with me right now, I’m not sure they would be safe.
The words kept playing over and over in my head. You went to see Rick in Vermont. Impossible…it can’t be mine. This man who claimed to love me, promising to stand by my side through anything, managed to shatter my heart in no time at all. The hurt enraged me.
Concentrating my wrath toward the lake, I began to walk closer. The water rippled at first, rising near the middle. Slowly, the sandy edges of the shoreline became exposed and then the rocky bottom, while the water rose higher and higher in the air- my anger fueling every inch of the increased height.