by T L Harty
“Promise me something, lassie,” I said.
“Maybe,” she smiled.
I enveloped her face in my hands, staring into her eyes. “Never give your heart away so easily. It’s a treasure beyond anything you could ever possess. Promise me.”
She nodded, while dancing out of my room. At that moment, I remembered a fish that my grandfather whittled for me, after my first heartbreak. The tag read: Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath. I suppose my advice was a bit futile, but it’s a mother’s duty to try.
After completing my hair and makeup, I stared at the dress in the corner. Initially, I believed all the pomp and circumstance to be a bit much, but after putting the dress on, I truly felt like royalty.
There was a light tap at the door. I opened it to find Bruce out in the hall, holding a bouquet of flowers.
He inhaled. “You look magnificent!” His smile and voice were as intoxicating as ever. “May I come in?”
Opening the door wider answered his question. Butterflies fluttered in my stomach, knowing the conversation to come.
“These are for you,” he said. He bowed. “Would you do me the honor of letting me escort you to the ball this evening? I’m not sure we’ve ever had a proper date. We need to put everything behind us and start fresh. I know you must still be upset after losing your baby.”
“Our baby…” I corrected, placing the flowers in the chair.
“Muriel, I don’t produce girls, but I love you so much that I can forgive this little misstep.”
Picking up the medical file, I handed it to Bruce.
“What’s this?”
I didn’t feel like answering him. I waited until he started to read. His facial expression changed when he realized that he was wrong…that the baby belonged to both of us. That’s right, you idiot, let that sink in.
His head lifted from the pages. My eyes were welling with tears, as I willed them not to fall. He approached to comfort me, but I put my arm up to stop him.
“I’m so sorry, Muriel. Is there anything I can do?” His voiced yearned for forgiveness, but the well was dry.
“Yes. You can pack up your things during the ball and leave for your house in Vermont, permanently.”
“You don’t understand. There is a long history in my family and no one…”
I raised my hand higher, halting the annoying string of words Bruce uttered.
“I understand that you didn’t believe me when I told you the baby was yours. But, I can’t forgive the accusation,” I explained. Tears fell to my cheeks, as I looked into Bruce’s eyes. “I want you to know that I’ve never loved anyone the way I loved you. We had a chance at an amazing life. You ruined that, Bruce, and you destroyed any hope of a future together. It’s of no consequence whether you believe that or not. It’s the truth. I’ve seen it. Now, get out.”
There was weakness when I shared how much I loved him, but my voice rose in determination, while reaching the final words. The demand for him to leave came with resolve, but I couldn’t watch him go. When the door shut behind him, more tears fell, as I wondered how I’d survive two huge losses in such a short period of time.
Chapter 11- Lonely
“Muriel, are you OK?” a familiar voice asked.
Rick hovered over me with a deeply concerned expression. The frustration of the vision and Rick’s persistent doting brought me to the brink of tears.
“I want you to leave me alone,” I said, in despair. “Is that too much to ask!?”
He shook his head no. “I’m sorry. I won’t bother you anymore, but I will be right across the hall if you ever need anything.” Rick walked into the dorm, leaving me in the parking lot.
After my balance was regained, I made it up to my room, fell onto my bed and slept until morning.
The last few months of the school year seemed to drag on, becoming monotonous and often lonely. I’d gone to a couple of parties, but didn’t stay for long because Rick, Greg or both were in attendance. Being alone trumped feeling awkward.
Greg could be seen around campus with his new girlfriend. He was an amazing catch, so it made sense, but it still stung a bit. Especially because my mind would wander backward to Jed on occasion…when I didn’t have a place for my mind to wander forward.
Rick and I were pleasant to each other. We’d say hi in the halls. I thought for certain that the parade of girls coming to his room would resume, but it never happened.
A couple of weeks before school ended, I planned to head home for the weekend. But, when I went out to the car, with bags in hand- I noticed the flat tire. After assessing the situation, I went back upstairs to call my dad.
The phone in the TV room rang and rang. He may have been out on a date. He was a hot commodity, especially popular with the divorced women he met.
At 4pm, not a soul lingered about. After I hung up the phone, I cried a little bit. This situation left me feeling alone, feeling that there was no one to count on. My quiet sobs were stopped when a hand on my back made me jump.
“Is there anything I can do?” Rick asked, handing me some tissue.
I dabbed my eyes.
“Point out the boy that’s made you cry like this and I’ll give him a good shellacking,” he added.
His word choice made me smile. “It’s not like that. I was on my way home and I have a flat tire. My dad’s not home and my spare tire is flat, too.”
“Let me go take a look. Give me about an hour and I’ll have it fixed, so you can be on your way.”
True to his promise, an hour later, he tapped on my door, letting me know he replaced the tire and I could go home.
“Thank you,” I yelled, through the door. I heard his door shut.
The traffic would be hell traveling north on 101 at this time of day. I’d be on the road for 2 hours for a trip that should take 45 minutes. It would be just as easy to leave first thing in the morning. Also, if dad had a successful date and brought a woman home, it would be my chore to entertain her with small talk.
The decision to stay until morning was an easy one to make, but I felt guilty, knowing that Rick went to all the trouble of fixing the tire. He would see my car in the lot tonight or tomorrow. And because we spoke through the door, I wondered if he heard me say thank you. I needed to make sure he knew I appreciated his help.
He opened the door and understandably looked a bit shocked. After spending so much time actively avoiding him, this was an odd gesture.
“Can I take you out to dinner to thank you for changing my tire?”
“That’s not necessary, but thank you.” Rick started to shut his door.
“I’m asking because I want to.”
The door slowly opened this time, Rick looking confused and cautious.
“Ok,” he agreed. “I can drive…if you want. If you want to drive that’s fine, too. Whatever.”
His lack of agenda or excitement was comforting, so I accepted his offer with a quick nod. He grabbed his keys and we left for a meal.
“Where would you like to take me?” he asked once we got in the car, being a bit cheeky.
“This whole scenario is unexpected, so I haven’t thought it out very well. And since I go home most weekends, I don’t really know what’s in the area.”
Without taking his eyes off the road, Rick said, “I’ve dreamed about spending time with you.” A short pause, where he recognized his error and very casually mentioned, “I have an idea. It’s a short drive from here. Trust me?”
“Not really,” I answered, honestly.
He smiled, nodding with understanding. Perhaps it went against my better judgment to spend time with Rick, but being lonely had become a much too familiar feeling. I longed to feel something different.
The views were beautiful and the twenty minute drive brought us to a restaurant in the Los Gatos Hills.
“I’m terribly under-dressed for a place like this,” I said, mortified. I had on a buttoned-up, short sleeve shirt and a pair of denim sho
rts with tattered hems.
“Hold on, I’ll be right back.”
Rick jumped out of the car and disappeared into the restaurant. It was the entrance to the eatery, but it had to be that the tables and windows were facing the opposite side of the building. The view was fantastic, looking down the mountainside.
Rick returned to the car, backed out of the parking lot and headed down a road that slowly veered left and upward. We came upon a beautiful home, at a higher point, on the same mountain as the restaurant. You could practically see right through the house, there were so many windows. And who could blame them for that. The views were plentiful from almost every angle.
Rick walked around the car and opened my door. Still not sure I should get out, I asked what we were doing here.
“Family friends own the restaurant and house. I practically grew up with the son, who’s the head chef of the restaurant. He gave me the keys. His parents are in Europe and he has the house to himself. C’mon,” he coaxed.
We made our way into the house and Rick grabbed a couple of wine coolers out of the fridge. At the back of the house there were huge sliding glass doors that opened to a deck and pool. He pulled out a chair for me.
My eyes couldn’t take in all the sights at once. We sipped the wine coolers, sitting quietly. The fact that no words passed between us for fifteen minutes, made my comfort level with Rick rise. I appreciated that he waited for me to set the pace of our time together.
The doorbell rang out. Rick went to get it and returned with delicacies that the restaurant sent up. The smell alone made my stomach grumble.
The patio table was soon covered with amazing food selections. I preferred the chicken and vegetables because patty pan squash was a favorite of mine and not a common ingredient in most restaurants. Rick ate the steak and potatoes. The appetizers would remain untouched, as there was too much food to consume in one sitting.
“He sent dessert up, too, but I put it in the fridge.”
“Good call. I’m stuffed. So delicious, Rick! Thank you. That’s the best meal I’ve had in ages.”
He smiled. “The sun is going to go down soon. How about we get another wine cooler and dip our feet in the pool while we watch it get dark?”
“I’d like that.” My response surprised me, especially because it was truthful. I really did want to spend more time with him.
“So, that’s all it takes, huh? I should have invited you to a sunset a long time ago.” His genuine smile made me forget his outlandish pronouncements a few months ago.
I shook my head and smiled back.
Rick cleared the table and returned with the wine coolers. He put his hand out for mine and led me to the pool. We sat at the edge of the pool, dipping our feet in the water and watched as the sun slowly lowered below the horizon.
“How was your meal?” A voice from behind us asked, breaking the silence and nearly making me leap into the pool.
“Why do you have to sneak up on us like that, Vince!?” Rick held his chest because the voice startled him, too.
“I didn’t mean to. Maybe if you closed the sliding doors, you would have heard me coming.”
I caught my breath, while Rick got up and hugged his friend. “Don’t you need to be at the restaurant?”
“They can live without me for the rest of the night,” Vince answered. “I mean, how often do I get to hang out with one of my best friends?”
“Vince, this is Muriel. Muriel, this is Vince.”
“What a pleasure to meet you,” he said, bringing my hand up to his lips for a quick hello kiss.
“Nice to meet you, too. Rick said you grew up together?”
“Ah, yes. We grew up in a little town in Vermont. We still managed to get into all kinds of trouble, especially during ski season. That was a long time ago, though. How did you two meet?”
“Rick’s room is across from mine in the dorms at school,” I answered. “It’s not a very fascinating story. He’d finished having sex and my dad and I met him as the girl was leaving.”
“I see,” Vince chuckled and slapped Rick on the shoulder. “That sounds about right. Well, there are all kinds of suits in the pool house if you’d like to go for a swim. Ladies first.”
After recognizing my cue, I left the two of them poolside to talk. The pool house could be more accurately described as a guest house, complete with a bedroom, bathroom and small kitchen. After picking out a swimsuit, I went to the bathroom to change. The window was ajar and I could hear Vince and Rick talking. It wasn’t right to eavesdrop, but that didn’t stop me.
“She’s stunning, Rick. I don’t think I’ve seen you this love struck since you dated my sister.”
“I loved your sister, to be sure. We were so young and dumb.”
“You were dumb. You cheated on her and my dad wanted to kill you.”
“Ya, but it all worked out. Isn’t she still dating that football player who’s going to be drafted into the NFL?”
“Yes. Dad’s happy as a clam. As a matter of fact, if he knew you were here…”
They both busted out in laughter.
“Oh, shit, Vince. This one is going to be the death of me. She’s all I think about. I’m not sure what’s going on. I haven’t been with a girl in months…not since I told Muriel how I feel!”
It became silent for a moment. The window was up high, so I couldn’t peek out.
“Are you tearing up?! You’ve got to be shittin’ me! This girl is that important to you?”
“Can you believe it?”
“No. You’re kind of a whore.” More laughter ensued.
Before the guys started getting suspicious, I came out of the pool house. It only takes so long to put on a swimsuit.
Vince saw me first and patted Rick on the arm to get my attention. They both stared at me, as I walked toward them.
“Nice to meet you, Muriel, but I’m off. Have a nice time.”
Vince couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The lights around the pool and house started to flicker on when it grew darker.
“I’ll go throw some shorts on and be right back.”
I’d gotten cozy on a chaise lounge, looking up at the stars. The fact that Rick hadn’t been with another girl in months made me feel better than it should. I wondered if I could trust him. Rick returned quickly.
“If you like stars, let me show you something.”
He went over to a control box and shut off all the lights, except for some in the bottom of the pool. The lights all over the mountainsides could be seen, but the stars became more prominent. There was nothing quite like it. Lights of all sizes and color twinkled above, around and below. It felt like being in the middle of a galaxy and having everything within reach.
Rick stood beside me and I smiled up at him, amazed by the sight. He reached out for my hand again and we went for a dip in the pool.
“Refreshing!” I blurted out.
The water was pretty cool, but we managed to stay in for a few minutes. I thought for sure this would be the time where Rick would make some sort of cheesy move or try to kiss me, but he didn’t. I swam around, seeing visions of Ireland. The water lulled me and I fell beneath the surface, dead still.
Just as this had concerned Douglas, years ago, it also got Rick’s attention. He picked me up out of the water. Once he realized I was fine, he dropped me, got out of the water and went into the pool house. The sun had been down for a while, so getting out of the pool proved to be a chilly endeavor.
I rushed into the pool house, shivering. Rick grabbed a throw to put around me. We were face to face and it was evident that he was doing everything in his power not to be effected by our proximity to one other. We stood there for a long time, dripping on the floor and looking at each other. I had never taken the time to look into his eyes for any length of time. They were a beautiful, rich, green color and they were currently transfixed on mine.
“Well, I’m going to go change,” I announced.
Rick blinked, dropping his hea
d. “Yep. Getting out of those wet clothes will help warm you up.”
A smile passed my lips, while changing in the bathroom. Rick’s infatuation with me hadn’t dissipated and I couldn’t understand why, but it made me smile today, unlike all the days before. When I came out of the bathroom, Rick had a towel around his waist, trying to do something with his unruly hair.
“Your hair looks nice like that. You usually have so much gel in it,” I commented. In truth, his body looked equally nice, but that thought would be kept to myself. I walked up to him and ran my fingers through his hair, trying to fix it. His hair was thick and had quite a bit of body to it. He stood about four or five inches taller than me…a perfect height, I thought.
He startled me by quickly grabbing my wrists and removing my hands from his hair. He took a few steps backward, never letting his eyes leave me.
“Listen, I was initially really excited that you wanted to hang out tonight,” he said. “But, the truth is, staying away from you and missing you is much easier than having you near me and not being able to touch you...to hold you…or kiss you. AH! It’s killing me!”
Rick paced around a bit, trying to grapple with his emotions. Why had I never realized how handsome he was until now? It dawned on me how much it pained him that we weren’t together…that I told him a romantic connection didn’t exist. And, even though I spoke those words, here I am, imagining that towel dropping to the floor, envisioning us entangled in each other’s arms. The fact that he wanted me so badly made me desire him. Not the wise decision, but the college-aged hormones were hijacking my common sense.
I walked over to Rick and stopped his movement by putting my hands on his bare shoulders. The contact jolted us both. We were facing each other again. My hands dropped to my side.
“Rick, I’m sorry that I’ve been so difficult. Pretend that you could touch me…what exactly would you do?”
He dropped his head, looking at the floor, but raised it again as his confidence grew. He brought his hand up to my cheek, rubbing his thumb on my lips.
“I think these lips tempt me most,” he said, softly. “So, the first thing I’d do is kiss them.”