by T L Harty
Before we went inside, she put her hand over mine, as I reached for the keys in the ignition.
“I know I haven’t been there for you through most of your lifetime, but I never stopped loving you.”
The vision I had seen years ago surfaced. My mother contemplating whether or not she should drown me in the bathtub. It made me sad for the little girl that had now grown into a woman, wary of anything her mother said. I smiled, acknowledging the comment, but there would be no response, reciprocation or forgiveness of any kind.
As Christmas approached, Gramps and I skillfully avoided Grammy and her daughter. The unresolved arguments lingered, making the air heavy. Mom announced early on Christmas Eve that she had someone picking her up Christmas morning. She apologized, but explained she couldn’t get back home otherwise.
Dad showed up for dinner on Christmas Eve, which added to the strained social dynamics of the group, although, Gramps and I found solace in his arrival. We all managed to enjoy the meal. Because mom had to leave early Christmas day, Grammy decided we’d open the presents after dinner.
My inner voice screamed “no,” in a very loud and dramatic manner. Of everything that had gone on in the last couple of days, this change of tradition upset me most of all.
We opened the gifts and the holiday carnage lay strewn all over the living room. Grammy fetched the customary hot chocolate we would drink after opening gifts. The hot chocolate we were supposed to drink in the morning. After everyone had settled, dad started the conversation.
“So, we thought it would be a good idea for us all to get together and discuss your relationship with Rick.”
“And how you’re too young to get married,” Grammy added.
“You barely know yourself. It’s not a good idea,” Mom chimed in.
I looked over at Gramps, but he wisely didn’t contribute.
The topic of conversation startled me, but it was equally shocking that the three of them had come to an agreement on something. It didn’t take long for anger to replace my initial surprise.
“Are you kidding me, right now? Is this some sort of Christmas intervention?!”
“We aren’t trying to upset you,” Dad explained. “We’d like to approach this conversation rationally and respectfully.”
“No,” I blurted out. “Whatever happens between Rick and I is none of your business.”
“Well, OK, that’s the end of that,” Gramps announced.
Dad put his arm up to silence Gramps.
“You won’t even consider a conversation?” Grammy asked, accusingly.
I stood up, feeling attacked.
“Please forgive me as I take a pass on all of the relationship wisdom contained in the room! We can have a little chat about Rick when you all find a way to get along with each other. I mean, it’s been twenty years, so I suspect you’ll have it all sorted out in no time. And Mother, you haven’t spent more than a couple of hours with me over the last ten years, so you get no opinion about my life at all! None! This is utter bullshit!”
I went to the bedroom and slammed the door behind me. It didn’t take long to pack. When I went through the living room, to walk out the front door, only Gramps remained in his chair. I leaned down, kissing the top of his head.
“I’m sorry Gramps,” I said, quietly. “This wasn’t the peaceful Christmas you had hoped for.”
He winked. “You tried.”
Chapter 24- Graveside
Liam approached me, right before our descent into Kerry.
“Once we land, would you accompany me to a special destination, my queen?”
Although I had initially planned to use the layover to find out more about how Corey became a member of my guardsmen, I agreed to Liam’s request. I’d be hard-pressed to deny Liam anything.
The plane landed and Liam escorted me to an empty car. It surprised me that only the two of us were going on this jaunt, but no one seemed to flinch. He drove a ways, through beautiful country. Liam slowed, as a modest sign came into focus. It read “Scotia’s Grave” and pointed across the road.
“If it wasn’t for that sign, this is a very unremarkable place.”
“That’s exactly the point,” he agreed. “We need to hurry.”
We exited the car and Liam started a slow jog down a path. I tried to keep up, until I got a stitch in my side and had to stop, a subtle reminder that I needed to get back into the gym. Liam noticed that I stopped and came back for me. He put his arm around my waist and bent over beside me...his touch like fire.
“Breathe, my queen. Slowly inhale.”
Once we were both upright again, we continued our trek at a fast, walking pace.
“Why are we in such a rush?”
“It will be dark soon and when the sun goes down, the midges come out and they will eat us alive.”
After another five minutes of brisk walking, we arrived at a unique clearing. I felt dizzy as we inched closer to the stones that lay within the grass. The vision that had haunted me for so many years became clear. I wobbled, Liam touched my elbow. My knees buckled and I fell to the grass.
The king called for me, raising his voice, yelling the name Scotia. He was in front of me, bearded and dirty then suddenly clean-shaven. Bearded. Clean-shaven. It took me too long to realize that Liam and this king were one.
All those years he searched for me? How could this be?
“Can you stand up?”
“I think so. I’m sorry, this is a powerful place.”
“It really is. That’s why I wanted you to see it.”
We both quietly paid homage to this amazing woman and somehow knew when it became time to depart.
I started down the path first, troubled by Liam’s identity as the king in my visions. It wasn’t long before he caught up.
“You know, Scotia came here as a princess and became a queen. You’re already a queen…what will you become?”
The prospect of becoming more made me smile.
“Tell me about this woman you search for.”
“I don’t know much other than she’s tied to Ireland in a very powerful way. I’ve felt her presence in my dreams, but never seen her face. It’s torturous, really.”
“One of the guards says you think you found her once?”
“That guard should keep his mouth shut. But, yes, being in her presence felt like the dreams. It’s similar to when I’m around you, but I think that’s because of the tear that fell between us, during the bonding ceremony.”
The attraction to Liam came well before the tear. I quickly got the conversation back on track. “Yes, well, tell me about the time you thought you found her.”
“I met a young girl in London for all of five minutes. I acted an absolute gobshite.”
“What do you mean?”
“I accused her of trying to get a free tea.”
“Well, that’s not so bad. Sounds like an apology would clear the whole thing up.”
“I never got the chance. As I accused her, some older man tried to hit on her. Between that and her irate grandmother, I didn’t have a chance. ”
“That sounds like a circus!”
“I’m afraid I was head clown, complementing her beauty during the ruckus!”
Liam’s story became increasingly familiar.
“I tossed and turned all night, wishing I had handled the situation better…knowing this girl may be the person in my dreams.”
“You’ll find her.”
“I don’t know. I tried the next day, but Henry had already taken them away.”
“Henry?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. He worked as the chauffeur at the hotel.”
It couldn’t be. The boy I met in that hotel was English! We’d almost reached the car and I nonchalantly asked the name of the hotel he used to work at. He answered Brown’s Hotel…the very hotel where Grammy and I stayed in London.
We enjoyed easy conversation, as we drove back to the small airport. He thanked me for going to Scotia’s grave and I thanke
d him for taking me. He said he’d visited her grave three times because of the remote location. Getting this far south didn’t happen very often.
Liam drove onto a small portion of the tarmac and parked the car in the shelter of the hangar, as small rain droplets started to fall. The plane’s engines hummed.
“It looks like they’re waiting for us,” Liam said. “Lucky for me, they can’t leave without you.”
He smiled and I wondered if it would be rude to ask him not to smile in my presence. It didn’t happen often but, when it did, my brain halted all operations.
We both hurried out of the car. The wind whipped around, so we gathered ourselves before going out to the plane.
“You have to go first and I’ll follow you. I apologize for not bringing an umbrella.”
“Well, if getting a little wet is the worst thing that happens to me…” I trailed off, looking at him.
“Do you really think I’ll find her?” That smile, again.
“Unless she ran off with that old Frenchman, you still have a chance.”
I made a run for the plane. After getting almost half way between the plane and the hangar, Liam grabbed my arm, whirling me around, and pulling me toward him with such force that I bounced off his chest. He gripped both my arms, between the elbow and shoulder.
“I never said anything about the man being French…,” he yelled, the sound of the plane being too loud for normal conversation.
He gently pushed the wind-swept hair off my face. He no longer looked like the scrawny boy at Brown’s Hotel, who denied me an afternoon tea. A man stood before me, longing for a response.
“You must have mentioned it! I wouldn’t have come up with that on my own.”
I tried to turn to go back toward the plane. He held me, trying to recognize something in my eyes. Lucky for me, my eyes were different…they were now more acquainted with pain and sadness.
“Get your Queen on the plane!” Macy yelled.
The voice startled us both. Liam nodded, letting go of my arms. Once on the plane, I removed my muddy shoes and went to the bathroom to towel-dry my hair. It had been too long since I had a proper haircut because it fell to the middle of my back.
How could I be so foolish to mention the French man?! The small bathroom didn’t allow for flailing of arms or pacing, while properly scolding myself, so I was relegated to disdainfully shaking my head in the mirror.
The pilot came over the intercom system, asking everyone to take their seats. He announced that we’d land in Dublin in an hour. After splashing some cool water on my face, I exited the bathroom to find that Liam had taken the seat next to mine. I’d be damned if he thought he could make such a decision for me, so I passed by and took a seat next to Tracy, in the front. This way, we weren’t in each other’s line of sight.
Corey smiled at me and I returned the gesture. The length of the flight didn’t stop me from falling fast asleep. The next thing I knew, the landing jostled me awake and we had arrived in Dublin. A smile crossed my lips, remembering the time I had spent with Grammy in this city. I’d never forget the story about the painted doors or meeting Tina for the first time at Trinity (although she called herself Paige at the time).
Outside of the airplane, Liam and Corey got in the driver’s seats of the two waiting vans and chauffeured us to our destination. A certain aroma hung in the air that uniquely belonged to Dublin. It wasn’t a stench, but a very distinct mixture of the sea air and the human zoo of the city.
I made it a point to travel in Corey’s van. Having no idea where we were headed, I enjoyed the ride, looking out over the Irish Sea. After 20 minutes in the van, a sign greeted us that read: Welcome to Dalkey.
Beautiful homes dotted the hilly, seaside town and the landscape seemed doused in perfection. From the small harbors to the shifting views, it became more interesting. A gate opened and we drove through it and onto the grounds of a huge estate. In awe, we exited the vehicle with our belongings. Clio cleared her throat to speak.
“Our new residence will be ready very soon but, for a couple of days, we’ll be guests of the famous Sorrento House. Please respect this amazing estate.”
At that, everyone grabbed their bags and filed into the mansion. A small island, off the coast, was visible from where I stood. It captivated my attention and curiosity, making it difficult to move. Pieces of its history played before me…marking the passage of time and oddities of life.
“Are you going to stand out here all evening,” Macy cracked. “C’mon, you need to put your things away. The healers are already here to be interviewed.”
“I thought we weren’t doing that for a couple of days.”
Macy shrugged.
After putting my bags in a huge, sea-facing room, I joined the council and Tracy in one of many parlors. Three young women, engaging in nervous behaviors sat outside the room, anxiously waiting to be called. After the women got situated, Liam and Sean came into the room.
“No,” I said, waving my hand. “Leave the parlor. You’ll be a distraction for me and the young ladies being interviewed. You’re not needed here.”
Liam looked at Macy for approval and she nodded her head. They started to leave the room.
“Hold it, right there.” I got up from my seat, moving toward the guards. “If I ask you to do something, you don’t need to look at Macy for her OK. Do you understand?”
They stood there, unresponsive.
“I’m sorry. Was there some level of difficulty to that sentence that you’re finding hard to comprehend?” I asked, infuriated. “Macy, you better handle this situation because I will release both of them if this happens again.” Turning to look at her, I saw that my reaction surprised her. My glance returned to the guards. “Maybe we’ve forgotten how this works. You’re here to protect me. You’ve pledged to do what I say. Macy rules over the guards and I rule over Macy. Got it?!”
Liam broke the silence. “Yes, my queen, please forgive me.”
His humility quickly erased my anger. I knew this outburst was fueled by a lack of sleep and food, but it wasn’t a bad time to assert myself.
“You may go. Let’s have the first interview,” I said, re-joining the silent council.
Clio got on the phone and asked someone on the estate staff to let the first candidate in. When the door opened, she walked across the room to the empty chair. She was petite, brunette and wore her hair neatly tied back. She looked like she could possess a bit of Asian ancestry. The fitted caftan she wore had beautiful embroidery on its front. When she took a seat, I noticed that almost every finger boasted a ring. She smiled nervously.
“What’s your name?” I asked.
“My name is Benni.”
“And how old are you?”
“I’m 26.”
“We have all that information on her questionnaire,” Clio interrupted.
Once again, I felt challenged and would have none of it.
“I haven’t had a chance to read her dossier,” I remarked. “See, I just got off a plane and was put in this situation with little or no time to prepare. So forgive me a few simple questions.” I looked at Clio with irritation. She sat back in her chair, unable to confront the truth of my statement.
“And do you know what is happening here, Benni? Why you’ve come to meet with us?”
“I do.”
“Can you tell me why you hope to join this council?”
“I’m not certain that’s what I hope for. It remains unknown to me that you are the queen of our people.”
“That’s a fair point, Benni. And I don’t begrudge you for doubting, but my position can’t be proven. I’m not sure what you were expecting.”
She rose from her seat. “I came here with no expectations, only hope.”
She loosened one of her rings as she walked toward me and then held it in front of me. The Celtic triple spiral, commonly referred to as a Triskelion adorned her ring.
“It’s very pretty,” I commented.
“Please
hold it,” she asked, in a whisper.
My gaze went from the ring to her eyes and then back to the ring. I sighed deeply, feeling put out by this simple request. Nevertheless, I took the ring from Benni. She returned to her seat. We smiled knowingly at each other and I tried to tamp down laughter.
“Now, my queen, please share what you know about me and my line,” Benni requested.
“This is outrageous!” Tina shouted. I raised my hand to silence her.
“You’re descended from the Tribe of Dan, the Line of Enya and, more recently, from St. Begnet who is the patron saint of this town. The island off the coast is often referred to as Saint Begnet’s Isle. You are a healer and a druidess, like your ancestor.”
“You could’ve easily read up on that information,” Benni pointed out. “St. Begnet is well known in this area.”
“That’s true,” I admitted. “But I see her fleeing to England to avoid marriage. After the introduction of the Roman influence, so many healers joined the nunneries. It ensured that they didn’t have to marry. Pesky emotions like love would dilute their healing powers. The shadow of the church made for a perfect hiding spot.”
Benni watched me, unimpressed, as the information offered was common knowledge. I walked toward her. What no one in the room knew is that the minute the ring touched my hand, I instantaneously knew everything about her and her line, but needed time to figure out what to share. I didn’t want to embarrass Benni, but needed to mention unknown history or personal truths.
“Our existence is shrouded in secrecy. This still doesn’t prove anything,” Benni said. Her youthful spunk was admirable. I walked behind her.
“This is true. We are, after all, supposed to leave a mark without being seen.”
The statement made Benni sit upright and pay attention.
“Isn’t that a tenant that runs through your family?” I asked, kneeling down by her side. Her eyes began to tear up and I whispered, “Isn’t that what drove you away from your mother? She believed you would never make a mark because you wanted so badly to be seen.”