by T L Harty
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Liam gathered all our belongings and loaded them onto the boat, while I took one last stroll around Begnet’s Island. This little chunk of land held more history and secrets then I had hoped to discover.
Before getting on the boat, I spoke into the air, unable to look at Liam who stood behind me.
“I think you’re an amazing man, but I can’t make any promises to you right now. I’ve only ever been told who I am or what is expected of me, but never given the chance to decide much for myself. I apologize for last night. I took advantage of the situation because it was an opportunity to escape my suffocating loneliness.”
“Last night was the first time I haven’t been lonely,” Liam said. He placed his hands on my hips and his forehead on the back of my head.
I stood there for a moment, with my eyes closed as his touch felt like home. I grabbed one of his hands and he helped me onto the boat.
“If it’s any consolation, you’re the best lover I’ve ever had,” I said, in an effort to make him feel better about me distancing myself.
He smiled and blushed. “It helps a bit.”
The trip back to the mainland, however short, saddened me. I watched the island the whole time. When the boat bumped the small dock at the harbor, I turned around to find Delvin standing there.
“Let me help you out,” he said, extending a hand.
“What are you doing here so soon?” I asked. “Weren’t you packing up Danu castle and not coming here until the completion of our new residence?”
“Our new home is done and it didn’t take long to finish packing. Macy granted me time to speak to you this morning. May I take you to breakfast?”
“As lovely as food sounds right now, I must shower and take a proper nap.” I kept my distance from Delvin, afraid that Liam’s smell had permeated my skin. “I’d love to chat with you later…maybe go for a late lunch?”
Liam yelled for Delvin to carry all the belongings from the boat to the van, after overhearing our plans for lunch. Liam wanted me to recognize the hierarchy. A vein of jealousy ran through him. Delvin started toward the van with his first load.
“What is to become of us?” Liam asked, very seriously.
“I don’t know. Is there to be an ‘us’ apart from that island? I told you that I need time. I can’t make another bad decision.” I lowered my head and walked to the van until it had been loaded up and the three of us could return to the Sorrento House.
I refused to speak with anyone, making a beeline for my suite. The shower and bed were equally inviting. After falling asleep with my hair damp, it traveled in all different directions when I awoke. So much so, that a hair tie proved the best remedy. A t-shirt and pair of jeans would nicely suit the hairstyle.
After emerging from the suite, I saw Clio reading in the room where we interviewed Benni.
“It’s so quiet around here. Where is everyone?”
“A lot of people have family in the area and they are out visiting. Did Delvin catch up with you?”
“Yes, but we haven’t had a chance to talk yet. Are the other guards we left at Danu here, too?”
“No. They’re at the new property. It’s so strange that Delvin would come here, requesting an audience with you,” Clio explained. “He insisted he had important information that only you could hear and Tina could tell he was being truthful.”
My curiosity sufficiently raised, I went to see if I could find him. Outside, on the grounds, the guards were enjoying some Guinness. They stood, as I moved closer.
“Delvin, would you like to have our chat?”
He put the beer down, ready to go. Liam glared at the two of us, but still waited until I turned to take his seat. The situation upset him, but he always respectfully observed protocol.
Delvin and I hopped in one of the vans and drove to a seaside pub for fish, chips and a chat. We ordered our meal and I waited for him to share some important bit of information.
“What did you want to talk about?” I asked.
“This isn’t the place for it. How about we eat our lunch and catch up a bit. Then, I’ll take you for a walk on the beach, where we can have some privacy.”
Our meal came and we shared about our lives before they intersected again at Danu.
“What ever happened with the girl you were madly in love with?” I asked.
“You got me in a bit of trouble dropping my sweats off at the house! But, I told her you threw yourself at me in Tahoe and I resisted. I eventually married her.”
“Why is it that doesn’t sound as romantic or amazing as it should?”
Delvin grinned. “Something happened the summer I met you. I didn’t understand back then because I remembered what a pain in the ass you could be. But, all of a sudden you were all I could think about. I stood outside your house on the days you were scheduled to work, so I could walk you to Marine World. I went to all the bonfires on the weekends, in case you were there. I fell hard for you.”
“You never said anything.”
“How could I? You were having issues with Rick, who became a close friend to me and I had a girlfriend in Florida. But, recently, when I learned you were Danu, I understood. You had picked thorns out of my hand with your teeth and that’s when I fell under your spell. Your saliva didn’t just touch me, it mingled with my blood. You were literally under my skin.”
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…” I started.
“Is there anything else I can get for you?” The waitress interrupted.
“No, thank you,” Delvin said.
He put cash on the table to pay the bill and asked if I’d join him for a walk. Delvin put out his hand and I mindlessly grabbed it. The breeze carried a slight chill that postponed the beginning of beach season, making the area practically barren, save a couple of fishermen.
We walked hand in hand to a bench and took a seat. Delvin placed his hand over mine, while we observed the fishermen casting out their lines over and over.
“You’re going to have to talk to me sometime.”
“It’s not that easy, Muriel.” The words were spoken with such pain. “Do you remember when we ran into each other in Lake Tahoe, before the house party we planned to attend?”
“The best coincidence of my life. I’ll always remember how much fun we had that night. We dined, gambled, danced, drank, talked…you let me stay in your room. You were my knight in shining armor. It’s the first time I ever felt like a real adult.”
He looked straight ahead, eyes never leaving the fisherman nearest us.
“I remember parts of that night with fondness, too. Although, I was crushed when you wouldn’t run away with me. I would’ve gone anywhere…done anything if it meant we could be together. You have no idea…”
After talking to Liam about the spell last night, my understanding had improved.
“It didn’t help that I kissed you back that night. That wasn’t right.”
“It felt right,” Delvin said. “But, I knew you weren’t interested. I wanted to go to sleep so the longing would stop.”
“I’m sorry, Delvin.”
“Stop apologizing! Please let me finish.”
I slipped my hand out from under his on the bench, not appreciating his tone.
“My therapist had given me sleeping pills because of all the anxiety over my girlfriend that summer. I put them in my wine glass because the combo is killer and would knock me out. You fell asleep before I did. Do you remember the note I left?”
He looked at me and I nodded. Delvin reached out, grabbing both my hands and faced me. He momentarily closed his eyes and sighed. This seemed overly dramatic, which made me a bit uncomfortable. I wanted to take away the awkwardness.
“Delvin, the note made me chuckle…no hard feelings. And had I not been involved with Rick, I probably would have been with you. You’re a great man!”
To this, Delvin shook his head and teared up.
“I put the note in the bathroom and then came by the be
d to give you a kiss on your cheek. We must have switched glasses somehow because your wine glass had residue from my pills.”
“No wonder I slept like a baby that night!”
“Before I left, I thought if I could just hold you for a while, it would free me of my obsession, but it escalated to a place of such shame and regret. Holding led to kissing…kissing to undressing. Muriel, you were with me that night, but not as a willing participant.”
The words bounced around in my head as though a safe place to land was unavailable. I heard what he said, but couldn’t get my bearings. Leaning over, between my knees, I demanded my brain to show me that night, to give me clarity. The visions agreed with his story and even though Delvin proved a tender lover- the man lacked my permission. So, not a lover, but a rapist.
“Why would you tell me this?!” I raised my head up, speaking so loudly that the fishermen turned. Anger brought me to my feet, slapping him as hard as possible.
“I planned to take this to my grave, but my awful mistake cannot multiply into others. I won’t allow it.”
I began walking away.
“Please, don’t go!” He ran in front of me, blocking my path, careful not to touch me. I’m no longer a danger to you. I’ve learned how to control myself in your presence, even under the spell.”
“Is that why you became a part of my guard? Some perverse test?”
“No, Muriel. I came to tell you that my mother sees visions of Deidra, when my cousin, Tracy, told me that you cannot.”
Initially, this information held no importance until I remembered Grammy’s closeness…how she must have had visions of me, given all she knew. My mouth hung open as I looked up at Delvin, finally understanding the reason he told me the tale.
His words removed all doubt.
“I think I’m Deidra’s father.”
Chapter 27- Men in Robes
Rick had planned everything out perfectly. We registered for our marriage license the next day, paying a premium for quicker service. He called Greg and his girlfriend to ask them to be our witnesses and they happily accepted.
Rick found a priest at a local church and made an appointment for a pre-marital counseling session. It was required before he would perform the ceremony and Rick’s grandmother insisted we be married in a Catholic church. I imagine this requirement helped earn us free housing and her support.
Being in the presence of clergy made me nervous and when we were sitting outside his office, waiting to be called, I sweat through my t-shirt.
“There’s nothing to worry about, Muriel, this is a mere formality.”
I didn’t believe him. The church secretary escorted us to the priest’s office, where we took our seats in the two chairs opposite his desk. Rick shook his hand and I lamely lifted my hand in a partial wave, followed by a nervous smile that probably looked more like a snarl.
The priest started off with easy questions: how we met, what we loved about each other, etc. Then, came the heavy hitters- our religious beliefs, did we wait to have sex, what made us think that getting married so young was a good idea, etc.
Rick answered the questions like a champ. I fumbled and made the mistake of honestly answering that I came from a protestant background, that Rick and I already had sex, and getting married so young did concern me.
As I rambled on about other topics, the priest raised his hand to quell my talking. It seemed a rude gesture, as though my words did not contain the same value as his.
“Ideally,” the priest said, “you would have waited for carnal pleasures until after marriage. That may be a reason we cannot marry you in the church.”
“Or, the marriage can be performed to save us from further sin,” I said, trying to rationalize our plight. Between the raising of his hand and the judgmental comment, I suddenly became incensed.
“My child, your limited understanding is on full display.”
Visions began pelting me, demanding to be seen. I had gotten good at pushing them down, but these refused to be denied. I excused myself and went to the restroom, locking the door behind me.
I saw priests from long ago involved in all manner of criminal activity or moral failings. These agents of God- merely men in robes, succumbing to temptations of all varieties. And I could forgive their failings, as they are men (sinners like the rest), if only they were honest about their shortcomings or didn’t judge others to a higher standard.
Lo and behold, the very priest Rick and I came to see visited me in visions. He took money from politicians. He turned a blind eye to other priest’s fetishes. From what I could tell, he patronized a high-end, San Francisco prostitution ring. At least he went against the rumor mill and preferred women to boys.
He didn’t really have a specific type. I saw him with blondes, brunettes, and red heads. However, he had a special connection with an Asian prostitute that he saw more frequently than the others. I heard an interesting conversation.
He had the nerve to deem whether Rick or I could get married in his church. No. He would not get away with this. I marched back into his office and calmly took a seat.
“So, it seems you cannot get married here, in this church, and I believe you would be hard-pressed to find a Catholic church in the bay area that would allow your union to take place within one of our sanctuaries.”
Rick dropped his head, disappointed by the decision. I stared at the priest with resolve.
“Why do you think God said in scripture that it is not good for man to be alone?” I asked.
His favorite prostitute asked the same question earlier this week.
“Well, it doesn’t necessarily mean that man needs a woman. Men need God, the church, friends…,” the priest responded.
The prostitute persisted.
“But, in Genesis, when God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone, His solution didn’t include the things you’re talking about. His answer was a woman.”
The priest went pale. I looked at him, watching the beads of sweat form above his upper lip, the awkward silence fueling my boldness.
And as the prostitute kissed the priest’s chest, during this conversation, she moved ever southward, down his body until reaching her goal. To which the priest closed his eyes in pleasure and moaned, saying the one line that I would speak to him now.
“I guess as a dog returns to his vomit, a fool also returns to their folly.”
The priest quickly rose out of his seat, startling Rick.
“This is what’s going to happen,” I told the priest. “Rick and I will return here on Dec. 31st for a quick ceremony. Please find another priest to perform it- I’m sure someone here is trying to serve honorably. Can you let us know what time works best?” I pointed at the calendar on the desk and grinned, assuming he had pegged me for a demon or someone who worked for the prostitution ring. Had this been centuries earlier, I suppose he would have had me burned at the stake.
“Eleven a.m. will work.” He scribbled us in.
“I don’t understand. I thought we couldn’t get married here?!” Rick said.
“It appears the Priest has had a change of heart. Isn’t that great?”
Rick nodded his head, still confused by something he’d missed. He thanked the priest and shook his hand again. I merely stared at the man in a robe, enjoying the smell of fear.
Rick and I decided to do another thing out of order and spend the next few days in San Francisco like we were on our honeymoon. We visited Alcatraz, Pier 39, rode the cable cars, ate at the best seafood restaurants, and strolled in Golden Gate Park. After we were married, we planned to explore China Town, visit the Museum of Modern Art and maybe go to see the aquarium in Monterey Bay before getting our belongings at school.
When the wedding day approached, Rick had surprised me with a beautiful white dress from a boutique in the area. The simple, satin dress must have cost a fortune. He wore a tux and explained that he’d hired a photographer and just because our families wouldn’t be there, we should still have a beautiful me
mory of the event…something to show our kids.
His thoughtfulness made my heart full. When I walked down the aisle and saw him at the end of my journey, he felt like home. The one person I knew that would do anything to make me happy. It had been a long, winding road to get to this point, but when we exited the church we did it as “one,” ready to take on the world together.
After the ceremony, we continued our honeymoon and enjoyed the sights of San Francisco. We spent as much of our time without clothing as we did fully dressed. We learned that the hotel stopped rooming guests next to us, if it could be helped. Apparently, they received complaints that we were noisy. Being young and feeling entitled to love, we didn’t care one bit. No one knew us here and soon, we’d be on our way to Chicago.
Rick started in right away, dreaming of having children. He had asked that we start now, but the thought scared me and I reminded him that he promised we could wait.
We did go to Monterey Bay on our way back to school to visit the aquarium. The attraction was fairly new to the area and neither of us had visited it yet. It would only take us a little over an hour to travel to San Jose from Monterey, so we headed back late in the afternoon.
“Being in that aquarium made me a little sad,” Rick said, on the drive back.
“Why?”
“Do you remember Marine World, when I came to see you? You weren’t wearing the ring and I knew we were over.”
“You were wrong,” I said, smiling. “I’m pretty sure what we’ve accomplished in the last couple of weeks is the opposite of over.”
He picked up my hand and kissed it. There isn’t much I remember after that short conversation. I fell asleep until we arrived in San Jose.
Being back at school revolted me. Everything about it made me restless and claustrophobic. After being there for a day, I begged Rick to leave as soon as we could. I’d wait to call my family until we got to Chicago. Even though Rick and I were solid, a fear settled in me that, given the chance, my family would talk me out of moving.