“Are you okay?” I asked.
She looked slightly startled by my question. “Why wouldn’t I be?”
I shrugged; it was just a feeling I had, but I couldn’t explain it.
“I promise you I’m fine, Logan. But I won’t be in a second if we don’t do this soon. I’m dying here.”
“Isn’t that usually the guy’s line because he wants to get laid?”
“Blue balls here, Logan. I’m definitely suffering from the female version.” She circled her hips, grinding her sex against my fingers.
“No one could ever accuse me of letting a woman suffer from something like that.” With a grin, I knotted my fingers in her hair and brought her head down to mine. I kissed her hard.
Or maybe she was the one who kissed me hard.
We both needed this, and we needed it now.
I swiftly rolled on a condom.
Kiera wrapped her hand around my rock-hard length and lowed herself, her wet heat swallowing me whole.
“Fuck,” I growled out.
Kiera giggled. “Yep, that pretty much sums it up.”
She circled her hips again, bringing us to the edge of insanity in record time.
With only a few upward jerks of my body, her inner muscles grasped me tight in a wave of euphoria.
“Oh, God,” she moaned, her forehead resting on my shoulder, our breaths coming in rapid and shallow.
The win last night?
That had been great. This was something else.
I kissed the side of her head.
Smiling, smug satisfaction on her face, she sat upright. My gaze caught sight of her growing belly, and a wave of guilt rushed through me.
Stephen’s dead, I reminded myself. You’re not betraying him. She’s pregnant with his baby, but she’s his widow, not his wife.
A murmur of a voice echoed in my head, pointing out that she wasn’t my wife either. What she and I had was a friends-with-benefits arrangement.
For now.
But that would change once her baby was born. At some point, she would want to find someone who would be there for her and her son.
Someone who would be his stepfather.
The voice came in stronger when it spoke this time. Why can’t that be you?
I shoved it away with a well-earned shoulder check.
It knew the answer to that. It was just being a dick.
“I’m going to have a shower…” I grinned down at her, ignoring the debate that had been battling in my head. “Unless you want to join me.”
“We don’t exactly have time. Don’t you have a morning skate you have to leave for soon?”
Kiera walked into the kitchen a short time later to the smell of brewing coffee and breakfast. Her blonde hair shone in the morning light, giving her an angelic appearance.
That was assuming, of course, that angels wore maternity jeans and long-sleeved T-shirts proclaiming, “Bump’s First Hockey Season.”
I waved my spatula at her top. “Nice T-shirt.”
“Stephen’s mother gave it to me.” Kiera chewed on her lower lip for a second, uncertainty warring on her face. “She’s assuming Love Bug will be a hockey player like Stephen.”
“And you don’t want that?”
“I don’t want him to feel as though he has to live up to the footsteps of a man he’s never met. Plus, if Stephen had been alive, he would’ve been there for his son, coaching him, encouraging him. I can cheer for Love Bug and be a supportive hockey parent. But beyond that, I have no idea what I’m doing. He doesn’t have the hockey role model in his life that he would’ve had if Stephen was alive. Like Stephen had with his father.”
The entire time she was talking, her gaze went everywhere but to me.
“You know, as long as I’m playing for the Rock and I’m still in San Francisco,” I said, “I’d be happy to do my best to fill in for Stephen when it comes to being a hockey role model. I won’t be able to do as good a job as he would’ve because I’m on the road a lot, but I can certainly help whenever possible.”
Kiera smiled softly, the look of uncertainty not entirely erased. “That would be great, assuming Love Bug wants to play hockey. Thank you.”
After the team was finished for the morning, Livi and I picked Kiera up at her house. I had already stopped at the deli and loaded up on sandwiches and other supplies for our picnic.
“I don’t know about you two, but I’m starving.” I lowered the icebox onto the sand after scouting out a spot that wasn’t too busy. It was also located near a stretch of sand ideal for castle building.
Livi waved her bucket and shovel in the air. “Me too!”
“How about we eat first, then create a sandcastle that will be the envy of all Disney princesses?”
Both agreed with that suggestion.
Kiera and I laid out the blanket. Livi went to search for shells near the water’s edge. She returned a minute later to show us the one she’d found.
“That’s really pretty,” Kiera said, smiling at my daughter. “Do you collect shells?”
Livi rapidly nodded and plonked herself on the blanket.
I passed out the sandwiches, and we ate while Livi filled us in on her day so far. Kiera and I listened and laughed and asked lots of questions.
Curious glances steered in our direction, but I couldn’t be sure if it was because the individuals recognized me or due to Livi’s flamboyant storytelling. Her arms flailed about as she talked, and there was a fair amount of acting out what she was saying.
The salty breeze blew a strand of hair across Kiera’s face, and my fingers itched to brush the strand aside. But that wasn’t the thing you did when you were with your daughter’s teacher.
Right, taking your daughter’s teacher to the beach wasn’t exactly on the list of normal parent-teacher activities either. However, this didn’t count. Kiera and I had been friends long before Livi was born. So that negated all other rules on the matter.
Or so I kept telling myself.
A seagull strutted across the sand toward us, confidence making him cocky. He eyed the sandwich in Livi’s hand and moved closer like a spy trying to act nonchalant.
A dog’s bark from farther down the beach, heard over the faint crashing of waves, momentarily distracted Livi from the bird.
As if sensing this, the bird lunged for the sandwich and tugged it from her hand.
Livi shrieked in surprise.
The bird decided this would be a great time to make its getaway. It flew a couple of feet from us, dragging the sandwich with it.
Kiera burst out laughing and scrambled to her feet, as did Livi. They chased after the bird, reclaiming bits of the sandwich left behind.
And damned if something didn’t stir deep inside me at seeing them like this.
After we finished eating our lunch, Kiera and I packed everything away, so the seagulls couldn’t steal our food while we were distracted with the sandcastle.
Then the three of us commenced work on the castle. Hanging out with Kiera felt as natural as it had in college. We didn’t talk much, our focus entirely on our project.
“It should be this big.” Livi held her hand at chest height.
“How about we build it this high?” I demonstrated what I had in mind, which was knee height. At most. “Otherwise, we’ll be here all week, and I’m not sure my head coach”—or GM—“would appreciate that.”
Livi pondered that for a moment before agreeing to the compromise.
We’d been working for at least twenty minutes when I heard a man ask, “Aren’t you Logan Mathews?”
I glanced toward the voice.
A man and his son stood to the side of our castle. I hadn’t even noticed them until he’d spoken. Both were wearing Rock T-shirts. The boy couldn’t have been much older than Livi.
“That was a nice play you made yesterday, late in the third.” The man proceeded to recount it as if I hadn’t been there.
But that wasn’t all.
He told me what I�
��d done wrong and what I should do next time.
Yep, he was one of those fans.
The kind you could only roll your eyes at.
They had never stepped on the ice as an NHL player or coach or scout, but they seemed to think they could do a better job than anyone else.
His son nodded rapidly at everything his father said. However, I couldn’t miss that his gaze kept shifting longingly to the ocean.
Livi stared at the man the way she looked at broccoli when Stacy cooked it for dinner.
Livi had never been a fan of broccoli.
“Daddy, help me make the moat.” She passed Kiera and me our buckets.
“Oh, that’s a great idea. We need a big moat to keep out the scary beasts.” Kiera smiled sweetly at the man, and I inwardly chuckled. Even if her comment was lost on him, I knew exactly what she was referring to.
“One moat coming up,” I said cheerfully. “Nice to meet you.” I gave the man and his son a nod and walked off with Livi and Kiera to the water, even though we weren’t ready yet to fill the moat.
“Is it often like that?” Kiera asked as we scooped up seawater. She and I were calf-deep in the ocean. Livi was closer to shore, playing leapfrog over small waves.
Kiera nodded in the direction the man and his son were walking. “Do strangers often come up to you to tell you how to play the game?”
“Most fans aren’t like that, but yeah, there are a few who think they’d do a better job than the coaches of whatever team I’m playing for.”
“I’ve had parents like that.” She smiled sympathetically at me.
“Hey, Daddy.” That was the only warning I got. Cold water hit me in the chest, catching me off guard.
Still holding her bucket, Livi giggled, the sound warming my heart.
Kiera burst out laughing as water streamed down my bare legs from my drenched shorts.
Not to be outdone, I scooped seawater into my bucket and tossed the contents at Livi.
Except, she darted out of the way at the last second. The water hit Kiera full-on, leaving her tank top clinging enticingly to her body.
She let out a shriek that was more laughter than anything, then filled her bucket and hurled its contents at me.
I lunged at Kiera. She tried to get away from me, but a rogue wave had different plans, almost knocking her off her feet.
I grabbed hold of her and pulled her to me.
My body instantly reacted, thrilled to have her in my arms again.
For a second, it was as though we were suspended in time. I peered into her beautiful blue eyes, filled with all kinds of emotions, some I didn’t have a label for.
Without thinking things through, I cupped her face with my hand and brushed my thumb along her soft cheek. I didn’t hear her gasp as much as felt the movement with my hand.
Kiss her, you idiot.
So I did.
I didn’t care who saw me or if the kiss ended up on social media. The only thing I cared about was the feel of her lips against my mouth.
Mine.
The kiss lasted for a few seconds before the ocean pranked us, tossing another rogue wave at us.
Or maybe this was its way of telling us to get a room.
We pulled away from each other, the awareness of where we were standing coming back into focus.
Livi was working on the castle when Kiera and I joined her a moment later.
Had she witnessed me kissing her teacher?
I couldn’t say. She beamed at us, then resumed constructing her tower.
Kiera kneeled beside her.
Mine.
I pushed that thought away.
“How about I take a photo of you two with the castle?” I removed my phone from my shorts pocket and instructed them where to sit, so I could fit the huge castle and the two of them in the frame. Luckily, my phone had been in my back pocket during the earlier water battle and had avoided getting wet.
“If you’d like, I could take a photo with all three of you in it,” a soft female voice said behind me.
I turned to find an elderly couple watching us and smiling. I could tell they weren’t hockey fans. Neither held a hint of recognition on their faces.
“You should be in the picture, too,” she said.
“That would be great, thanks.” I handed her the phone and kneeled between Kiera and Livi.
“Squeeze in together a little more.” The elderly man made a gesture with his hands to indicate what he wanted us to do.
Livi and Kiera shuffled closer to me. He looked at the phone in his wife’s hand and waved for them to move in closer still. It wasn’t until Kiera was pressed against my side that we got the thumbs-up from him.
His wife lowered the phone. “Perfect.”
I retrieved it from them and glanced at the screen, with the great photo of the three of us together still on it. The unexplainable sensation in my gut from earlier returned, but I couldn’t put my finger on what caused it. “Thank you.”
“It’s such a lovely castle,” the woman said. “You all did a great job.”
The pair said good-bye to us and shuffled off down the beach, hand-in-hand. I could practically see the longing on Kiera’s face as her gaze followed them for a moment. It wasn’t hard to guess what she was thinking. That was supposed to have been her and Stephen—growing old together.
Tearing my gaze from Kiera, I sent Stacy the photo.
Me: Impressed? Our daughter might have a future as a sandcastle architect.
Stacy: You might be right. Looks great. This was followed by a heart emoji.
Livi, Kiera, and I spent a few more hours at the beach, playing frisbee and exploring the nearby tidal pools. Then we went to Livi’s favorite restaurant to eat burgers, fries, and ice cream.
By the time I drove Livi home, she was barely able to stay awake. I dropped her off at Stacy’s before returning to my condo building.
The moment Kiera and I had left Stacy’s house, excitement thrummed through my body, knowing that Kiera would be in my bed again that night.
That same excitement played through my veins as we stepped into the elevator.
So could you blame me that the first thing I did the moment the elevator doors closed was to kiss her like I had in the water?
I needed her like a plant needed sunlight and rain.
We were still kissing when the metal door slid open.
And we resumed making out once inside my condo…only this time it was accompanied with wandering hands and my lips tasting her salt-kissed skin.
All the way to my bedroom.
32
Logan
When I woke up the next morning, memories of the day before at the beach played in my head like overtime in the playoffs.
At least during the regular season, overtime was sudden death or five minutes of play, whichever came first.
If the latter happened, you were looking at a shootout.
During the playoffs?
That meant sudden death for as long as and for as many periods as it took.
So yeah, the memories of yesterday at the beach had just hit the fifth overtime period as Kiera slept next to me.
Mine. That was what the voice in my head had claimed.
But she wasn’t mine.
And I had to stop pretending that she was.
She needed a man who would be there for her and her son.
What she needed was a man who didn’t play in the NHL. A man who wasn’t away most of the time.
Kiera’s eyelids slowly fluttered open. She blinked and smiled sleepily at me. “Hi.”
“Hey. Did you sleep well?”
“I did, thanks.”
My morning wood was screaming for relief, preferably in the form of being buried deep inside Kiera.
My brain had other thoughts.
And unfortunately, my brain won the mental coin toss. “Have you thought about what you’ll do once the baby is born? I mean…what you’re going to do about dating. Stephen would want you to mov
e on, for the sake of his baby. He would want you to find a good father for your son. I’m sure Stacy knows some great guys who—” Who Stephen would approve of.
“Don’t even think of completing that sentence, Logan.” Kiera began moving off the bed, her drowsy expression instantly vanished. “I’m not looking to be set up on a blind date or anything like that. For starters, no, just no. Plus, I’m pregnant. No man wants to date a woman who’s pregnant with another man’s child.”
“There might be. You never know.”
I couldn’t think of any offhand, but there must’ve been some men who weren’t fussy about something like that. Travis’s friend, Wes, had dated Hannah when she was pregnant with another man’s child, and now they were happily married.
Sure they were already friends before she became pregnant, but the idea was still the same.
Kiera hurriedly pulled on her panties and jeans. I climbed out of bed and grabbed my underwear.
“I’ve got a lot going on, and the last thing I need is to worry about finding the right father for my child.” Her tone held a strange note to it, but I couldn’t figure out what it meant.
“I didn’t mean to upset you—”
“If you don’t want to have sex anymore,” she said, pulling on her Rock jersey, without bothering to put on her bra first. “You just have to tell me. I know that…” Her gaze went everywhere but to me.
“You know what?”
Something about her expression made me think of a cornered small animal, vulnerability pouring off her in waves.
“It’s nothing. But don’t worry, I totally understand.”
“Understand what?”
Why did I feel like I was missing a huge chunk of the conversation? Like when your friend talks on the phone, but you can’t hear what the person on the other end is saying.
Kiera started walking to the door.
“Understand what?” I repeated, yanking on my briefs.
Still walking, she waved dismissively at me over her shoulder. “It’s really nothing.”
I quickly pulled on my jeans and raced after her. She was already opening the door to my condo.
“I was going to make us breakfast first,” I said.
Decidedly with Luck (By The Bay Book 6) Page 22