“They took the kids to the playground,” a deep voice that caused my heart to catapult into my throat said.
37
Logan
You’ve heard the phrase “a deer caught in the headlights.”
At the sound of my voice, Kiera spun around and forget that deer. She resembled a herd of deer caught on the train track with the express hurtling toward them.
She made a move to the apartment door.
I gently grabbed her arm, not wanting to freak her out any more than she already was. “You and I need to talk.”
She grimaced. “That’s probably not a good idea.”
I released her arm. “Look, I’m sorry about letting you believe I was someone else. I should have been honest with you.”
“You think? What I don’t get is why your grandmother kept calling you Grayson.” Her brow wrinkled adorably, although I suspected that wasn’t the look she was aiming for. “Do you have a relative called Grayson that she keeps confusing you for?”
I chuckled. “More like she was never a fan of the name Logan. She doesn’t think it sounds as dignified as Grayson, which is my middle name.”
“So, she only calls you Grayson?”
“That’s right.”
“And your voice? Why didn’t I recognize it at the ball?”
“I altered it slightly. Not a lot—I’m not an actor—but enough that you didn’t recognize me.” Clearly, I’d been a better actor than I realized.
“But why not tell me the truth as soon as you figured out that Kiera was me? And when exactly did you figure out the Kiera at the ball was the same one who had been married to your best friend?”
“I saw you checking into the hotel with your brother-in-law.”
“And you were never going to tell me you were Grayson, the man I had sex with?” Her voice cut like a kiddy knife aimed at my nuts. Ready to maim if my answer pissed her off.
“I didn’t think I would see you again, and you seemed happier not knowing anything about me. In case you’ve forgotten, it was your idea that we keep the masks on during sex.”
“Yes, but that’s because I thought you were a stranger.”
“If you had known it was me, would you still have wanted to have sex with me?”
She slipped her lower lip between her teeth, her tale-tale sign that she was contemplating the question.
The clock on the mantel ticked away the seconds, and yet she remained silent.
I guess I had my answer right there.
“So I was only good enough to have sex with once you were pregnant? Is that what you’re telling me?”
She grimaced again and tugged at the fabric of her maternity top. “No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’ve already told you, Logan, that I liked you when we were in college, even before I met Stephen. Honestly? I have no idea what I would have thought if you had been honest with me.
“My goal that night was to kiss a stranger under the mistletoe. It was my first step in moving on with my life after losing Stephen. I hadn’t planned to have sex. Things just progressed that way.” Her gaze dropped to her belly.
That was what had me confused. She said that night the kiss was her first step in moving on, and yet that contradicted her decision to keep his memory alive by getting pregnant with his sperm.
Did anyone else think that hardly sounded like moving on?
“And now that you know it was me, you regret it?” Christ, I should have tossed that damn pendant instead of hiding it in my drawer.
Though to be honest, the last thing I had expected was for Livi to go searching in the drawer and ask Kiera for help putting the pendant on.
But none of that changed anything. She was still pregnant with Stephen’s baby, and Stacy was right. I needed to remove myself from Kiera’s life before things became more complicated.
Kiera’s gaze flashed to mine. She let out a slow breath, her hand caressing her belly. “There are a lot of things I could regret about that night. Having sex with you wasn’t one of them.”
“That’s good to hear. I’d hate for you to regret that. I certainly don’t.”
She grimaced once more, and something about her reaction gave me pause.
“Am I missing something?” I asked.
She glanced away, but not fast enough to keep me from catching her expression. A sensation in my gut, like a fish flopping around the bottom of a boat, warned me whatever she wasn’t telling me was huge.
Blue-whale huge.
“Kiera, whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I’m pregnant.”
I laughed because that was the last thing I had expected her to say. “Yes, I think we’ve already established that. You’re having Stephen’s baby, thanks to his frozen sperm.”
She didn’t say anything. She just kept staring at me as though she was waiting for me to slot in the final piece of the puzzle.
The clock continued to tick in the background, mocking me for not getting why she was stating the obvious.
And then it hit me like a transport truck falling off the Golden Gate Bridge and landing on an unfortunate rowboat.
Except it was my stomach falling off the bridge.
I frowned. “You’re telling me you’re not carrying Stephen’s baby? It’s my baby? How do you even know it’s mine?”
Kiera’s face paled, much like it did when she first realized I was Grayson. “Because I haven’t been with anyone else since Stephen died.”
“I believed you were pregnant with his Popsicle baby. Now you’re saying it’s mine?” Shit. I really needed to sit for this conversation; it was making me feel dizzy.
But despite thinking that, I remained standing.
“I hadn’t meant to tell people that Stephen was the father. I panicked when I told my parents I was pregnant and kind of told them that I’d gotten pregnant with Stephen’s frozen sperm. And then I only told people that Stephen was the father because it was less awkward that way,” Kiera said. “Or at least I thought it would be less awkward. Turned out I was wrong.”
I snorted a laugh. She got that right. Her mother-in-law threw a gender reveal party, thinking the baby was her grandchild. “Let me get this straight. I’m the father of the baby, and you weren’t going to tell me?”
How did I feel about the news I was going to have a son?
Let’s circle back to that after I’ve recovered from the shock.
“In case you’ve forgotten, you didn’t exactly give me your phone number that night. I asked your grandmother for it so I could tell you about the baby. She said she would give you my number. I can’t help that you didn’t return my call.”
“You told my grandmother that you wanted some fictitious squid recipe. Not exactly a reason for me to return the call.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And why didn’t you call me once you’d heard I was trying to contact Grayson, the man I’d slept with that night? You knew I wasn’t looking for a recipe.” She folded her arms, wearing a smug, don’t-call-me-the-kettle expression. “Was it because you didn’t want me to find out the truth about that night? You knew if you called me, your dirty secret would be exposed.”
Her smug expression upgraded to a “So take that.”
Okay, she had me there. Although if I had known she was pregnant with my child, I would’ve been honest from the start. I would have admitted that I was Grayson.
I wouldn’t have let her go through this alone for as long as she had.
“I thought you would be angry with me if you found out I had kept the truth from you,” I said. “I came close to telling you a few times once I was traded to the Rock, but then figured you’d hate me, and I didn’t want that either.”
“There’s a word for that, Logan. It’s called a lie. Omission of the truth is still a lie.”
“Says the woman who’s been telling everyone that my baby genetically belongs to her dead husband. If you had told me the truth when I found out you were pregnant, I would’ve told you then that I was the father.”
She grunted. “I only told you that because I wanted people to think he was the result of the love that Stephen and I shared, and not the product of a one-night stand with a masked stranger. Can you blame me for that?”
I shrugged even though I could see her point. It would’ve been better for the child if he believed his father had wanted him, even though Stephen was dead, than to believe his father was a stranger who breezed in and out of Kiera’s life.
She released a defeated breath. “I never meant to lie to anyone. I did it to protect my baby. I never expected everything to become such a big sticky disaster.”
“Me—”
The apartment door opened before I could finish that sentence, and a tornado of little kids came rushing in, giggling.
None were aware of the storm-cloud of tension in the room.
“I should go now.” Kiera walked to the closed door, where the other four adults were standing. Emma and Hannah exchanged a silent message with her as she slipped on her shoes, asking if everything was okay.
I couldn’t hear what Kiera said to them, but from their reactions, I didn’t think she’d just announced I was Love Bug’s father.
“Wait, Kiera,” I called out, but it was too late. She had already shut the apartment door behind her.
I sprinted down the hallway, yanked the door open, and raced to the elevator—in time to catch a final glimpse of Kiera as the metal door sealed shut.
Fuck.
I ran back to my condo, shoved my feet into my runners, and hastily tied the laces.
“Is everything all right?” Travis asked.
“No, I royally fucked up everything. And now I have to race the elevator to the ground floor. Can you stay with Livi till I return?”
I didn’t wait for a reply. I bolted to the nearest exit and practically hurled myself down the steps.
When I first moved into the condo, I was thrilled I lived on the twentieth floor. The view was spectacular, and I appreciated the stairs for the extra training they afforded me.
Now?
I was mentally cursing in several different languages—thanks to the teammates I’d played with over the years—the number of floors.
By the time I made it to the ground floor, it was a damn miracle I’d arrived in one piece. Which was a good thing. Coach Fusco (not to mention the team’s general manager) would’ve skinned me alive with a hockey stick if I had injured myself.
Breathing hard, I pulled open the door and rushed to where the elevators were located. The door for the one Kiera had been on was closing. I was too late. She was gone.
I turned around the main lobby, but there was no sign of her.
Dammit.
I raced out the front entrance to the visitor parking lot.
Taking a chance that she had parked in her usual stall, I kept running.
At the end of the row, a familiar red car was reversing from the spot.
I wasn’t too late.
It was as if the clouds had separated, allowing beams of heavenly light to reach the earth, accompanied by the strains of a harp.
All right, none of that happened, but it might as well have. The universe had granted me a second chance, and fuck if I would screw it up this time.
Kiera finished pulling out of her spot and drove toward me.
At first, I wasn’t sure if she saw me or had no intention of stopping.
I was fairly confident, though, that she wouldn’t try to run me over.
She was upset that I had lied to her, but murder wasn’t her thing.
Or at least it wasn’t her thing when she was five months pregnant. Hiding my body would be a little tricky when she had my son in her belly.
But after he was born? That might’ve been another matter.
That gave me four months to prove to her that it might not be a bad idea to keep me around and spare my life.
Panting hard, I banged on the driver-side window and indicated for her to climb out of the vehicle.
With what I guessed was a huffed sigh, she turned off the engine and opened the door.
I still have no idea how I felt about her being pregnant with my baby. In another lifetime, I would’ve been thrilled.
But in this lifetime? It made things more complicated.
Way more complicated.
You would think that while I was racing down the stairs, I could’ve spent the time figuring out what to say to her. But even if I had come up with something, it would have vanished due to the lack of oxygen plaguing my brain.
I bent over, palms on knees, and fought to regain my breath. I felt like I’d just played back-to-back shifts, and the coach still wanted me on the ice.
“Did you just run down the stairs?” Kiera asked.
“Yes,” I panted. “Wanted…to talk…to you.”
I also wanted to kiss her, but I needed to wait a second before that became feasible.
Kiera didn’t say anything. She stood there, patiently waiting for me to catch my breath. “You’re really having my baby?” I finally asked once I had enough oxygen going to my brain. This time my voice wasn’t heavy with shock; awe filled it.
She nodded, uncertainty creasing her forehead.
I wanted to erase it, but I didn’t know how. Her news had knocked me on my ass, and I was still coming to terms with the fact that I was going to be a father again.
Livi wasn’t about to have one half sibling. She was going to have two.
The thought of that made me laugh.
Kiera’s frown deepened. “And you find this funny because…?”
“Livi’s thrilled to be having a little brother or sister. Now she’ll have a brother for sure. Maybe two brothers, depending on what Stacy’s having.”
The frown faded, and a smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “People might think she has twin siblings because they’ll be the same age.”
And then, because I couldn’t wait any longer…I kissed Kiera.
It began as a tender kiss but quickly morphed into something more heated. The slide of my tongue against hers, hers returning the gesture.
I wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her to me. Christ, how had I survived this long without her—without kissing her, without holding her?
A horn blasted, yanking us from the moment. I looked over at the annoying vehicle and realized the problem. Kiera’s car was blocking it.
I held my hand out to Kiera. “Give me your keys, and I’ll park your car. We need to talk. Not to mention, tell Livi the news.”
“I can park my own car.” She waved apologetically at the driver and climbed into her vehicle. A minute later, she and I were returning to my condo.
“Is everything all right?” Hannah asked Kiera once we stepped inside. Her worried glance darted between us.
Was everything all right?
I had no idea.
I’d fucked things up when it came to Stacy and Livi, and I was positive I would fuck things up, once again, when it came to Kiera and our baby.
That was just a given.
38
Kiera
After I let Hannah and Emma know that everything was hunky-dory, they filed out of the condo, with husbands and kiddies in tow.
Did I tell them that Logan was Love Bug’s father?
No, I was still trying to wrap my brain around that myself.
It would take several days for the news to fully sink in.
I just couldn’t believe I hadn’t pieced things together sooner. To start with, both men had been living in Chicago at the time of the Jingle Balls ball.
Yes, I understood that Chicago’s population was well over two million. The odds that the two men had been the same person were only slightly greater than the odds of Grayson being related to Winnie-the-Pooh.
But I had skipped over so many similarities between the men. Similarities that would’ve had me questioning things sooner.
Sure, in retrospect, it was easy to say I should have known Logan was Grayson, but that would’ve
been a lie. There had been no reason to believe that Grayson had moved to San Francisco. There had been no reason for me to wonder if every tall, dark-haired, athletic man I came across could be him.
There had been no reason for me to add one plus one and come up with Logan as the answer.
But where did that leave us?
He was finally becoming the father he wanted to be for Livi. Hockey and his daughter were his top priorities. Love Bug and I were a complication he hadn’t counted on.
And even if he did manage to balance his two kids, where did that leave me?
The same place as Stacy—one day married to a man who wasn’t Love Bug’s father?
That was if I ever fell in love again.
I was lucky that I’d fallen in love twice already.
What were the odds of me falling in love a third time?
That’s right. I was in love with Logan—had been ever since the day at the beach with him and Livi, only I hadn’t realized it until now.
But I didn’t tell him that. It was the last thing he’d want to hear.
Like I said, I was a complication that he didn’t need, a complication my heart hadn’t counted on.
“Livi,” Logan said, “Kiera and I have something we need to tell you.”
He smiled at her, but that didn’t stop the sinking sensation in my stomach that rivaled the Titanic. What if she was upset with the news I was pregnant with her half brother? Until just a day ago, I had been her teacher. She wouldn’t be my student next year, but she would still be at the same school. Would that be awkward for her?
“What, Daddy?” She gazed expectantly at us, curiosity curling her mouth up at both ends.
“How about we sit down?” He pointed to the gray armchair.
She sat. I stood where I was, unsure if it would be better if I left so he could break the news to her in private.
Before I could say anything, he pulled me to the matching couch and gestured for me to sit. He sat next to me, hand resting protectively on my upper back.
If Livi thought this was odd, her expression didn’t show it. She just looked at us in turn, smiling eagerly. Like she was expecting her father to tell her he was buying her a dog…or a pony.
Decidedly with Luck (By The Bay Book 6) Page 26