He slowly pressed forward. As he did, he reached up and wrapped his hand around the jack toy, taking over from Joel. A deep, throaty moan rolled from his man.
“Fuck, yeah.” Joel started rocking his hips and trying to urge Fen to move.
It felt like forever it took him to finally get all eight inches buried inside Joel, but he did it. It felt so different from the toys, the way Joel’s warm body tightly fisted his cock. Real, living flesh squeezing and tensing around his shaft, separated only by a thin layer of latex.
How weird did it make him that it felt like he wanted to do a touchdown dance, or something?
A pole dance.
Fen giggled.
Joel smiled up at him. “What’s so funny, baby? You gonna make the big, bad Dom beg for his nut tonight?”
Fen leaned in and kissed him. “You get to ride my pole for a change.”
Joel’s face went blank for a second before he burst out laughing. “Watch it, or you’ll end up pitching with a ball gag in your mouth.”
Slowly building his confidence, he started fucking Joel. With every thrust he tried to match his movements with the jack toy, until Joel was eagerly trying to hump in time with him.
And it felt…it felt amazing, truth be told. Then again, so did the toys. This wasn’t better, it was just…different.
Except for one small problem.
He wasn’t getting off.
Being in this position wasn’t the problem, either, because with the toys they’d taken turns plenty of times.
But Fen could only get so far, and then no farther. No matter how hard he stared at Joel and watched every sexy expression crossing his face, or how fucking delicious he sounded, breathy and needy and gasping with every thrust.
Stroking harder with the toy, faster, he knew Joel was close and deliberately worked to get him over first, twisting his hand at the top of the stroke, around the head, fucking him hard with it.
When Joel came, Fen felt his ass spasming around his cock and, okay, that was a really cool sensation, he’d admit.
Except as he stopped fucking him and stilled his hand, Joel reached up and cupped Fen’s cheek, his thumb brushing along his cheekbone.
Without a word, Joel sat up and kissed him, holding Fen as he started crying.
“Why am I so broken?”
Joel’s arms tightened around him. “Shh, baby, you’re not broken. Stop that.”
“I feel broken.”
Joel got them untangled and literally carried Fen into the bathroom, got the condom off him and then helped him into the large sunken bathtub, where he ran water for them. All the while, Fen couldn’t stop crying.
Joel kept his arms wrapped around Fen, whispering to him, holding him, rocking him.
Soothing him.
His strong Southern boy.
His sweet husband.
His.
* * * *
And this was precisely why Joel had put all the prerequisites in place. Unless Fen could finally articulate to him why he felt so upset and what emotions this had triggered in him, Joel wouldn’t allow him to do this again, either.
Not for a long while, without plenty of talking first.
His boy’s happiness was his priority, and seeing him so emotionally wrung out over something that should be nothing but fun was killing him.
He shut the water off with his foot once it reached the right level, meaning he didn’t have to let go of Fen to do it.
It took Fen a while to calm down. “I love you.”
Joel nuzzled the top of his head. “I love you, too, baby.”
Fen hooked a leg around Joel’s. “Please make me come, Sir,” he whispered.
Joel couldn’t tell him no. He reached under the water, found Fen’s cock, and wrapped his fingers around it. It didn’t take him long to get him hard again, and, surprisingly enough, he came very quickly. Fen’s body tensed in his arms as he made it over, even biting down on Joel’s arm to stifle his cries as he did.
Joel didn’t mind. He liked it when his boy got bitey, because he damn sure liked to bite.
Sweet, gentle bliss filled Fen’s features.
“Better, baby?”
“Yeah.” Fen took a deep breath, held it, let it out again. “I don’t know why,” he softly said.
“Why what?” Joel wanted him to talk it out, if he could.
“Why I…couldn’t. I don’t know.”
“Then let’s shelve that for now, too.”
Fen looked up at him. “I’m sorry.”
“Hey, no. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Why can’t I just enjoy something normally?”
Joel cupped his chin and waited until Fen met his gaze. “I fell in love with you the way you are. With the expectation that you weren’t going to magically change into whatever is supposed to be ‘normal.’ I love you. Every bit of you. Do I need to make this a rule, that you aren’t allowed to talk down to yourself like this?”
“I still feel like that.”
“If you heard Mads saying something like that, how would you react?”
Fen started to answer, then his jaw snapped closed with an audible click of teeth.
“Baby, answer me,” Joel finally prompted literally minutes later.
“I guess,” he softly said, “I’d be saying pretty much the same things you’re saying to me now.”
“Oh, good. I don’t have to hit you over the head with it, then,” he teased.
Fen poked him in the belly.
But Joel let the quiet settle around them for a little longer as they enjoyed the warm water together.
Eventually, they made it out of the tub and back to bed, where Fen lay snuggled in Joel’s arms.
As if they’d been made to fit together like that.
“Sorry I’m such a wreck,” Fen said.
“Good thing I like putting things back together,” Joel countered.
Fen giggled, which was a good sound, in Joel’s opinion.
“Yeeessss?” Joel drawled.
“I wonder what you’d look like pole dancing?”
Joel snorted. “I guess we’ll never know, will we?”
“Aww, come on, Sir. Try it at least once. Right here. No one will know but me.”
“Maybe I’ll ask July to hide our phones first,” he said. “So I don’t end up on FetLife.”
Fen giggled. “Maybe that’s not a bad idea.”
THE END
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