Doomsday Wonderland c1-855

by N. Heller

  "Why don't you do it?" the old duoluozhong leaped up. Its skin shook. It scrunched its face like a wrung towel turning its face into a tubular shape again. Putrid gas spewed from the black hole at the end of the tubular face, "You're a god. Why don't you create a miracle?!"

  Deun was not offended by its disrespectful words, instead, he repeated himself firmly, "You are a warrior of a god! Your god commands you! Don't kill them first. Just capture them. They gave me many delicious offerings. You've never given me things like that."

  "Are you a f.u.c.k.i.n.g idiot?" the old duoluozhong wanted to rant on the spot. Rather than attacking Lin Sanjiu, it looked more like it wanted to fight Deun, "If I can win, do you think I'd bring this woman back here? Catch them? Between her and I, who do you think will get captured?!"

  Deun rolled his eyes. Even if both his eyes were nearly touching, his scleras were still larger than his pupils, "This is a decree!"

  Those words seemed to strike the old duoluozhong's weakness. He tossed a dour glance at Deun and plodded toward Lin Sanjiu.

  Lin Sanjiu looked at it with her arms folded. To her, killing that old duoluozhong was as simple as squishing a bug. She just needed a brick, so she even kept her [Tornado Whip] tucked away.

  Accompanied by a fetid stench, the old duoluozhong stopped a few steps away from the two people.

  "As you can see, I don't wish to be your enemy. I don't want to lie to you either. But, he's forcing me to do this," the duoluozhong hissed at both of them.

  "So, you have to obey his command?" Lin Sanjiu laughed, "Why don't you escape?"

  "You don't understand," the old duoluozhong was a little irritated but he immediately tried to smile at Lin Sanjiu. His blackish-green, wrinkly face contorted into a creepy form, "The duoluozhongs in the world need to serve a god to survive. No matter which god we choose, we need to rely on a god or we'll die quickly."

  Ji Shanqing scoffed cynically.

  "It's true. Duoluozhongs from different worlds have their own way of life. You should know this well," the duoluozhong squinted its pair of insect-like eyes as if to express his amiability. "Using a bad analogy, duoluozhongs are like god's employees. If we don't rely on a god, we'll be unemployed, and we will die from hunger. However, a god's life is totally unaffected even without us."

  "Since you know this, why don't you act quickly?" once the duoluozhong finished its sentence, Deun immediately yelled at it.

  All of them ignored him.

  "So, what do you want?" Lin Sanjiu asked slowly.

  "I can't defeat you, and I don't want to fight," the old duoluozhong exhaled with a hissing sound, a malodorous smell pervaded the air. "Why don't you negotiate with Deun to work for a few days for him before leaving?"

  Lin Sanjiu wanted to laugh.

  "A few days isn't enough," Deun contemplated for a moment. "You need to carve at least one hundred idols. You will also have to worship me with food. We will discuss the matter about sparing your lives after you run out of food," he added solemnly.

  "Goddammit! Can you shut up?" the old duoluozhong puckered its mouth furiously. All his skin started wobbling, "If you want to kill them, kill them yourself!"

  Lin Sanjiu's mouth twitched. She did not have the patience to deal with them anymore. She threw an irksome glance the old duoluozhong.

  She wondered what she should do with it when Deun suddenly grumbled, "I'll do it."

  Momentarily, Lin Sanjiu's temper flared. Unafraid, she pulled the grand prize aside. She raised her hand and tried to draw out her [Tornado Whip]. Unexpectedly, nothing appeared in her hand.

  On top of that, she even staggered for a bit. It was as if her muscles suddenly stiffened. A thought flashed in her head and Lin Sanjiu's expression changed. She glared at the old duoluozhong.

  "Hehe," it chuckled. It exhaled another breath of rancid air from its tubular face.

  "I lied," it said with a viscid voice, "My ability isn't enhanced speed."

  "Look out!"

  Lin Sanjiu heard her grand prize and immediately threw herself to one side. Her body suddenly felt more sluggish. When she staggered and fell to the ground, she suddenly understood what had happened.

  The old duoluozhong had planned everything systematically from the moment he ran from them. Each time he spoke, he rambled on, mixing lies and facts. Other than gaining some temporary trust from them, his main aim was probably to distract them from noticing the gas he released when he was speaking.

  "Sigh, I need to exhale a lot of it before I can nullify all your evolved abilities, including your body enhancements," the old duoluozhong laughed with a hissing sound. It stepped to one side. Deun's shadow loomed over the two people on the ground. "After play-acting with you for quite some time, I already figured out your ability. You can convert objects into cards, right?"

  It pointed at Lin Sanjiu. Its dangling skin shook.

  "Furthermore, you've acquired the habit of converting your Special Items into your cards after using them," it relaxed his facial skin and stretched its mouth and started laughing, "Both of you can't do anything. Even if this God is useless, he isn't someone you can deal with."

  "Have you said enough?" Deun was getting a little impatient.

  "Why do you stand there doing nothing when I'm talking? You should attack them, quick!" It was quite apparent that the old duoluozhong and Deun did not like each other.

  "Don't worry," Deun wasn't angry. He turned around and spoke to them, "I won't kill both of you for the time being. After all, you still have to carve idols of me and present your offerings of food to me. However, both of you would eventually have to become duoluozhong, so I'll need to kill you. The reason why you can't become duoluozhongs immediately…"

  While he spoke, Lin Sanjiu exchanged glances with Ji Shanqing. They decided to sit down crossed-legged on the ground almost comically.

  The old duoluozhong narrowed his eyes, noticing something amiss, it interrupted Deun, "Enough of your nonsense! Get them! Quick!"

  The grand prize murmured something.

  "Huh?" Deun sniffled.

  Seeing that Ji Shanqing didn't reply, he didn't continue asking. He took a step back as if to gather momentum and charged at them. Deun's body flew into the air the very next second. As if caught by an invisible force, Deun was suddenly flung into the distance. His body successively smashed through several houses. Lin Sanjiu dusted herself and stood up.

  "You're quite crafty," Lin Sanjiu praised the old duoluozhong. "If you met anyone else, you could have succeeded."

  Lin Sanjiu smiled at him.

  "I have a choker but it can't be converted into a card," she said to the duoluozhong sympathetically.

  That was the last sentence the old duoluozhong heard. Lin Sanjiu eyed him. It opened its mouth slightly. Then, darkness enveloped the old duoluozhong.

  When it exploded into a million pieces mid-air, Deun who was sitting in a pile of rubble let out a long shriek, "That was my only warrior!"

  Chapter 524 - A Dog Eats Dirt

  "Only warrior?"

  Lin Sanjiu sat in a lotus position on top of the bed she prepared for the dimwit previously. She was surrounded by rubble from the broken houses. Lin Sanjiu repeated those words with a stoic face as she eyed Deun.

  She had already decided to keep the bed immediately after she finished interrogating Deun. If it wasn't for the fact that their last meal was yesterday, she had the urge to punch him in the stomach to make him spit out everything he had eaten.

  "Yes, the only one!" Deun shouted as he hit his t.h.i.g.h. He seemed completely unaware of the trouble he was in. "Do you know how hard it is to find a warrior? As a God, I can't create duoluozhong myself. I have to personally kill a human before I can create a new duoluozhong warrior. However, other duoluozhongs already belong to the False Gods out there. I found this one by chance--"

  "Enough!" Lin Sanjiu interrupted him, "I don't care about that. What are you exactly?"

  "I," Deun raised his chin. As he did that, his eyes rolled slight
ly apart like two smooth glass balls, "am the one True God, the one true glory."

  Each god that Lin Sanjiu had encountered, she heard the same declarations.

  "You can't even speak properly. True God, indeed," the grand prize remarked sarcastically.

  However, Deun had a resolute aspiration, so he was completely unaffected by those words; he kept his chin raised.

  Lin Sanjiu thought for a moment and swiftly summoned her [Nostradamus's Card]. She tried to discreetly absorb Deun using the card but the man remained sitting in the same position; he sniffled nonchalantly.

  "This won't do… I wonder which specific god destroyed this world…"

  "Where do you and the other False Gods come from?" Lin Sanjiu put her card away and changed the direction of her questions.

  "If you are willing to be my worshipper, I'll tell you," Deun suddenly lowered his eyes and flashed a wily smile, "Now that I don't have a warrior, both of you don't have to worry about becoming a duoluozhong. You just have to give me food and carve idols of me."

  Lin Sanjiu hesitated for a moment and exchanged glances with Ji Shanqing. Her grand prize immediately frowned and questioned Deun quietly, "Why do you obsess over idols in your image. What can you use those idols for?"

  "You don't need to know."

  "If you don't tell us, we'll leave. You won't get to eat, and you won't get any idols."

  Deun immediately scowled. On closer inspection, his right cheek was bruised and much more swollen than his left. The bruises were left by Lin Sanjiu's punches when Deun tried to attack her. Surprisingly, as a god, his combat prowess was only that of a strong posthuman— albeit a posthuman without abilities.

  If Lin Sanjiu upped and left, there was nothing he could do.

  "Alright," Deun finally acceded, grumbling, and tried to find an excuse, "Even when a god hid his identity, both of you offered your tributes earnestly. Taking this into account, let god enlighten you with his grace and sweep away your ignorance."

  "Enough bullshit."

  "Okay, it's like this," the large man moved his body shifted his gaze between the two people, "Be it the True God or False Gods, they all need their worshippers to create idols to worship them… Every carved idol is a manifestation of a worshipper's belief. With these idols, I will become stronger as a God. My sacred light will illuminate the world…"

  Ji Shanqing interrupted Deun self-indulgence, "If idols can increase your powers, why don't you carve them yourself? You can carve as many as you like."

  "I have been trying, haven't I?" Deun gave Ji Shanqing a sidelong glance as if he had asked a stupid question, "However, I can't"

  "Why?"

  "If an idol isn't created by a worshipper, it would not hold the power of a worshipper's belief. Consequently, it doesn't work for me. On top of that, I'm clumsy."

  "No, being clumsy isn't your only problem…" This thought flashed past both Lin Sanjiu's and Ji Shanqing's mind.

  Lin Sanjiu cast a glance at a wooden block on the floor and suddenly felt an impulse to carve an idol just to test it out. When she looked up, she saw her grand prize also looking at a wooden block. Apparently, he had the same curiosity she possessed.

  "How many idols do you have now?"

  Deun hesitated for a moment, he seemed to loathe that question, "Not even one."

  Lin Sanjiu immediately remembered the numerous Deva idols that filled the City of Ants. Compared to her, this God was really quite the disgrace. "Why?"

  "Originally, I had a few worshippers," Deun mumbled as his face turned red when he noticed that Lin Sanjiu was silent. "I stole-- saved them from outside the village. They had only carved a few idols when their previous False Gods came over and snatched them away. If I wasn't smart enough to destroy my own idols, that False God would have attacked me."

  "You destroyed your own idols?" Lin Sanjiu asked intentionally to get Deun to continue speaking, "Why?"

  "If a god kills another god, the idols which belong to the dead god will all transform into the winner's image… Many gods kill just to vie for each other's idols." Deun patted his own c.h.e.s.t as if that thought scared him. "Lucky, I reacted quickly! When that fellow saw that I didn't have any worshippers and knew that he couldn't benefit from killing me, he left promptly. After that, for whatever reason, people started calling me Deun, the god of ignominy…"

  In other words, it wasn't that the other gods didn't like to come to this place. They simply didn't see any reason to come since there was only a Deun here. There weren't any "Inhumans" or idols. To them, Lin Sanjiu was probably far more valuable than Deun.

  "Why are you the only one without any worshippers?" the grand prize asked, pouring salt into Deun's wound.

  "I'm not the only one!" Deun retorted immediately. "There are many False Gods without worshippers and territories. They resort to robbing and killing to get idols… I'm a True God, so I don't do that sort of thing.

  "It's more like you can't."

  Lin Sanjiu and Ji Shanqing exchanged glances. In the end, they didn't say that thought out loud. Lin Sanjiu asked a few more questions about the world such as how it was destroyed and about the origins of gods. However, she discovered that Deun had no idea about the origins of this world but continued acting enigmatic and wasted a lot of her time.

  She lost her patience and went straight to the main question, "How can one kill a God?"

  Despite Deun's large size, he trembled when he heard that. He shifted his eyes to one side, "I don't-don't know. God-Gods can't be killed…"

  Lin Sanjiu laughed brazenly without hiding her mirth, "Alright, I will experiment on you to see what kills you."

  "Wait!" Deun suddenly 'remembered' the answer he couldn't answer previously, "How could you treat the True God like this? There is a method to kill a False God, but you must know that it wouldn't work on me…"

  Lin Sanjiu raised a brow.

  "When a False God's ability is reduced to a minimum, you can kill them with brute strength," Deun mumbled after some time. "You can either destroy their idols or create many idols for me. You don't have to carve those idols. You can also draw… As a True God, I can't tolerate any False Gods."

  Lin Sanjiu held her chin and thought for a moment. She suddenly turned around and ordered the grand prize, "Go grab a handful of mud."

  "Why?"

  "Just do it."

  Even though the grand prize was a little mysophobic, he couldn't curb his curiosity. He ran to the stream in the village diligently and dug up some river mud. He placed it in a basin and brought it back.

  Without saying a word, Lin Sanjiu released her higher consciousness and used it to grab Deun's ankle. She pulled him up and placed her hand on the back of his head.

  Smack.

  She pressed Deun's face into the mud.

  When the mud dries, this would be considered an idol," Lin Sanjiu laughed at Deun whose face was covered with mud. "Let's see how much your ability will improve then."

  Deun opened his mouth and some mud fell on his tongue. For a second, he didn't know if he should be happy. After ten minutes, the mud in the basin finally dried.

  Chapter 525 - Power! Power!

  The three of them surrounded the cracked pot. Nobody talked. After a few minutes of waiting, Lin Sanjiu began to grow impatient. She darted a glance between Deun and the pot again and back again.

  "It doesn't have any effect? That's weird," as she muttered the question to herself, she sent a wave of Higher Consciousness at Deun, throwing the bloke sideways like flipping a turtle. She then glanced at her grand prize, asking, "Why does it have no effect?"

  Ji Shanqing went closer and looked at the pot of river mud. Then, he said hesitantly, "Perhaps the facial features weren't clear enough?"

  That might be the reason.

  Although both of them had flattened the river mud as much as they could before pressing Deun's face into it, there were only a few holes and some indiscernible facial features on the clay. Without Deun standing beside it, the faces could be an
yone.

  "Come over here," Lin Sanjiu called out to Deun without raising her head.

  The big guy lingered over and stopped at a distance a few steps away from her, "What do you d.e.s.i.r.e for summoning me human?"

  "I'm going to draw you a portrait," Lin Sanjiu said after she thought for a moment. She turned over to her grand prize, and they both whispered to each other. Then, she nodded in assent, "Stand over there and don't move."

  Though he was ordered to stand completely still, Deun was still startled by the artist when Lin Sanjiu summoned her [Unfinished Drawing]. He screamed and turned to flee, only to be pinned on the ground by Lin Sanjiu's Higher Consciousness.

  "Can you not understand a word I said? I asked you to stand still. That means don't f.u.c.k.i.n.g move!" Lin Sanjiu turned over to the artist after she had finished her out lash at Deun. The artist's face was clouded with bewilderment. He stood in a daze with a bucket of paint in his hand, not knowing what to do.

  As a humanoid Special Item, [Unfinished Drawing] would immediately realize the hostile target in Lin Sanjiu's mind the moment she summoned him and begin to draw. Everything around the hostile target would appear lifelike on the canvas but the target himself. In order to perfect the depiction, the hostile target would be then s.u.c.k.e.d into the drawing.

  It was just, today, the poor artist couldn't locate his master's target even after he had scanned around several times.

  After a short moment of rumination, Lin Sanjiu pushed the artist in front of Deun and pointed at the pebble beside his foot, "... This is it. Draw the stone."

  The efficiency of a Special Item was incredible. The painting was soon done, and the stone was absorbed into the canvas. It turned into a lump of colors and became part of the depiction, and the drawing was finished.

  Right now, there were two Deun, one inside the drawing while another in the real world. Both of them had a similarly large body frame and face, staring blankly at Lin Sanjiu.

  Lin Sanjiu put the artist away, leaving the painting out. The artist had perfectly captured every fine detail about Deun. His appearance, face features, demeanor, everything about him was completed to perfection, and it wouldn't be an exaggeration to call this drawing the best picture of a god. Clenching the painting tightly in her hand, Lin Sanjiu was preparing to put the drawing into her card. Then, she peered at Deun.