Gabriel crouched there for a long time, his own troubles and discomforts forgotten in the face of his concern and sympathy. He forced down the pull of the dark power whenever it surfaced. He hummed a soft, sad tune from a time he couldn't quite remember—at first it just made Vel sob harder, but as the hours stretched steadily towards dawn and he slipped seamlessly into an exhausted sleep, it seemed to calm him. Only when Gabriel was absolutely sure Vel wouldn't wake up for the better half of the day did he loosen his hold. Silently, he lifted the boy onto a bench, stood up and stretched out his cramped joints and stiff muscles. He healed the dozens of cuts on Vel's arms and legs and wiped the blood from his skin with a warm towel.
The sun was rising when he finally carried Vel down the building towards the infirmary. It was a cool, crisp morning, the same as every other morning in HQ, peaceful and blue and golden. The dirt ground showed no evidence of blood, or struggle, or death, though it had happened here, plenty of times, over the very spots he were walking over. As he passed the trees and the gate, he felt the familiar presence of the spirits there, the thought-thin shells of their intelligence mingling with his. They were curious and sad about the slumbering creature in his arms. Gabriel slowed down and let them crowd around him, faint wisps of fog sketching through the clear air. Vel muttered and sighed in his sleep as the ghosts touched him. Gabriel watched them whisper amongst themselves, the most peaceful spirits that ever existed, the spirits of men who'd fought and killed, of good men and bad men, all gliding forward now to give this poor boy dreams of silver forests and still lakes. The only gifts they could give. Watching them made Gabriel's chest heavy.
He waited until they retreated back to their posts before moving on. The infirmary was empty of patients, as it often was, and Vel was promptly and professionally settled into a private ward with a window overlooking the training field. Gabriel hung around a little, rearranging the room pointlessly, reluctant to leave. He'd wasted too much time already, but he doubted he'd be in the mood for work anyway. If he really, absolutely needed the money, which he didn't, he could always sell some quick, discreet magic and be done for the day. But when it became clear that Vel seemed quite comfortable and desperately needed the rest, Gabriel decided there was no point in staying. He wrote a note, folded it into a crane and set it on the bedside table.
When he walked back out, the spirits had already disappeared from sight, burnt away by the brightening warmth of the sun.
x
Vel felt like shit when he woke up. His head was aching, his mouth was dry and his heart hurt the way it had when his brother died, only about a million times worse. He rolled over on the clean white bed and spent a few minutes crying soundlessly into the pillow, not wanting to get up and face the horrible reality that awaited him. He didn't want to do anything at all. The little plastic clip on his finger dragged on the sheets; he swiped it away angrily, yanking the blanket over his head to block out the bland view of the room. The beeping machine next to his bed flatlined.
The door opened, and footsteps hurried in, paused with a light sigh. A hand searched for the edge of the blanket and Vel gripped it closer to his body. "Go away," he growled.
"You've got a message from Gabriel," the nurse said, pulling the blanket back. Vel found himself staring at the first woman he'd seen in months, and suddenly he missed his sister terribly. He turned his head to the side but made no other move to hide the tears leaking from his eyes. Didn't have the energy to. The nurse sighed again, her voice softening. "You can go whenever you feel ready, sweetie. Press the call button if you need anything."
The heart monitor was switched off, and Vel didn't roll over until he was sure she had left. He wiped his face dry clumsily, glanced at the bedside table. A glass of water and two white pills stood next to a paper bird. He drank the water, ignored the pills and unfolded the paper.
Vel,
Come find me in the city when you're feeling okay. I'll make sure you get permission from the colonel. It'll be good for you.
Gabriel.
He folded the note up again meticulously, taking a long time with the simple task, then simply sat there on the side of the bed, the bird cradled loosely in his hands. He failed to see how he would ever feel okay again, and how anything short of drinking himself to oblivion so he could forget would be good for him. He eyed the pills again and swallowed them without much thought, praying they were sedatives.
They weren't. In a few minutes his headache was gone and his legs no longer felt so weak, and he fumed in silence, cursing everything in the whole world. He wanted the pain back. He wanted to hurt, to bleed, to swing a hammer onto his own hand so he'd maybe get distracted from the unmoving mountain of agony sitting at the base of his ribcage. But all he felt was numbness and anger. Gabriel had done something to kick that masochistic drive away, and Vel detested him for it. He glared at his knees for a while more before hopping from the bed, jaw set.
Nobody stopped him from exiting the infirmary. A soldier was waiting for him outside.
Somebody had arranged for him to be dropped off in Mernot and safeguard him while he was there, and the thought of being babysat irked him again, though he couldn't be bothered to argue. He followed the lieutenant wordlessly, keeping his eyes trained on the man's uniform. They climbed onto the back of an army truck, while another two soldiers sat at the front.
The drive to the city was silent apart from the roar of the engine and the crunch of gravel. Vel stared at the dusty scenery that raced past. His eyes were stinging again, and he blamed it on the wind.
x
Elstrin didn't see Vel for three days.
He was already gone when Elstrin woke up in his dorm room to complete and utter silence, though Kana was there next to him, staring into space. The curtains were drawn, glowing orange from the afternoon sun outside. He reached out and curled a hand around Kana's knee, a sudden surge of overwhelming gladness making his throat close up for a second. Finally, he murmured into the darkness, "Where's Vel?"
"He went down to the city. Family stuff." Kana's voice was blunt, but his hand was warm when he brought it down and twined their fingers together.
They said no more about it; there was nothing to say or do now which would change anything.
"You okay?" Elstrin asked next.
"Yeah."
There was silence. "So am I," Elstrin said helpfully.
"I know. He healed you. Rem." Kana spat the name like it was poison, and Elstrin struggled to sit up.
"Don't be angry at him, Kana. He's not… I don't know what he is, but it's not his fault."
"Then whose was it?" Kana snapped, glaring at the wall. "I was training with Leopard when it happened, you didn't see his face when that sorcerer fucking took over him. He was terrified. Completely terrified, like he knew he was going to die, and he was in pain—agony, probably. If it was Rem's job to protect him and make sure that couldn't happen, then he wasn't doing a very good job, and it was his fault people got hurt and Andrew got killed."
"It's not," Elstrin insisted firmly. "You know that."
Kana muttered something in Lupalian under his breath, scowling. Elstrin kissed his knuckles, wishing he'd calm down but not really having the energy to argue. "I just—" Kana began, but he stopped there and ran a hand down his face, sighing sharply.
"I know," Elstrin whispered. They didn't speak for another minute, then he said softly, "Do you want to know what I saw there? Wherever I was."
"Yeah, okay," Kana said heavily.
So Elstrin recounted the brief events of yesterday morning in as much detail as he could recall— the so-called antechamber, the sunlit corridor, the sorcerer who had apparently shown up outside their false reality even as Elstrin was staring at his constructed face. Serpent, how he'd looked so incredibly real and alive. The house with the talking fire, the broken sun in the in-between sky.
When he finished, he said, "Let me just ask one thing—what did it all look like to everyone else? Did we freeze or something? I
spent at least twenty minutes in there."
"I didn't notice."
"What?" Elstrin was taken aback, would've felt betrayed if he could afford it right now. "You knew Snow was going to do something and you weren't even looking?"
"No, I looked. Or I tried to. But I just… didn't notice. There must've been a barrier around you two that stopped anyone from taking interest in whatever was going on. It's a sort of cloaking spell that's easier than making things outright invisible."
"Oh. So you have no idea how Snow ended up comatose and bleeding all over the place?"
"Rem fucked up, obviously."
Elstrin sighed and dropped the topic. "What're we supposed to do now?"
"We've got the day off, 'cause some people are still sick, then tomorrow morning we're all reporting to Stag in the outer hall. I was thinking of dashing to the cafeteria to grab some food, then we can hole up here for the rest of the day because everybody outside is swapping rumours like crazy, and I can't stand that shit. I don't know who possessed Leopard, but they all seem to think I do."
"Mm. Is Stag still out there?"
"Don't know." Kana smiled tiredly. "Yeah, I have a few questions for him myself. But I think I'll ask him tomorrow. My brain is still kinda fried."
"Oh?" Elstrin frowned; that was the opposite of how he felt. His body was weak and groggy, limbs aching dully, but his thoughts were sharp and frustrated. "How come?"
"I was lying next to Leopard for ten minutes, remember? The thing inside him was so strong he couldn't really contain it. He was bleeding—not just physically. And all that energy—it was black. Rotten, terrible." Kana made a face. "I didn't think it was possible, but it felt worse than when Snow snapped and went temporarily insane at the party. I hope he's okay."
That was just three days ago, Elstrin realised. It seemed a lifetime had passed since he'd cheered out loud when his exam results were announced and happily vowed to get absolutely drunk that night. "I'll go get the food, then," he offered.
"No, I'll come." Kana sat up with a grunt. "Safety in numbers. I'll be better after some sleep; we all will."
The short walk to the cafeteria was made difficult by the small crowd of curious cadets that gathered around them, firing questions at them. Judging from Kana's dark scowl, Elstrin wagered it wouldn't be long until someone got punched, and he frantically tried to think of something to make them go. He was spared the effort when one of the three new guards posted at the entrance to the barracks came up and shooed the boys away. "Leave 'em alone, guys," the soldier grunted, a hand resting unceasingly upon the gun slung across his chest.
"Thanks," Elstrin said hastily, hurrying past the bulky man out to the almost-empty field. As they passed the gate, he saw that it was slightly open, soldiers darting in and out. There were six gate guards standing at attention there instead of the usual two.
It was around late lunchtime, so the cafeteria wasn't as vacant as he hoped, but nobody got up to harass them for information. They took their food quickly, earning sympathetic looks from the few staff members behind the counters, and escaped back into their room. Elstrin wasn't really hungry, but he ate a couple of quick bites anyway; he knew his body needed it. Kana picked slowly at his plate. He was quiet for a while, then he said abruptly, "I think it was a ghost."
Elstrin stared. "What?"
Kana shrugged, uncomfortable. "Or half a ghost. I know what they feel like, and what they look like, and the thing that had Leopard was definitely some kind of spirit. It was… dead. And alive at the same time. I thought it was the sorcerer, because that's what Gabriel's been implying, but it wasn't. I don't understand."
"Who does?" Elstrin asked dully, and the unanswerable question hung in the room like cobwebs as they lapsed into silence once more.
Chapter 22
He lay there in perfect darkness and waited. There was something surgical about the silence, like someone was ticking down the seconds precisely, giving him a carefully measured dose of nothingness. That was nice of them. It felt good to not need to think about anything at all.
Then it was over. His finger twitched—abruptly he was aware of having a body. It smelled of dust and conflict, though it was faint under the clean fragrance of washing powder and soap. His blood thrummed through his veins, warm around his torso, cool at his extremities. He was thirsty. He opened his eyes.
Rem appeared above him. The boy seemed familiar, then not. He looked tired and worse than
ever. Worse than—when? What previous version of Rem could he compare this one to? He couldn't really recall. "Hello," Rem said, smiling. His eyes were so pale they seemed almost transparent.
"Hello," he replied in a scratchy murmur. It seemed the right thing to say.
"Do you remember your name?" Rem asked, worried. "You're Snow."
"Snow," he repeated. The memories were coming back, in a steady stream. Drip-fed to him. The exactness of it calmed him again. "Yes. I remember."
"Oh, good," Rem sighed, a relieved laugh escaping him. It was nice to hear him laugh. "I didn't mess up too badly, then. Well, you have to go back out soon. I'm really exhausted and you have lots of explaining to do."
"I don't want to go," he whispered. He did, actually. The world outside sounded… interesting. All the wonders and joys and sorrows it had to offer. It was the idea of leaving Rem alone that he didn't like.
"That's what you said before I brought you in here," Rem pointed out. He grinned and petted his hair. "Make up your mind, Snowy. We can't have everything we want. That would be cheating."
He didn't quite know which one of them Rem was referring to.
x
Halfway through Stag's speech about lockdown and new rules and security and the date for Andrew's memorial service, Snow walked into the outer hall.
Elstrin almost stepped forward upon seeing him, but Kana grabbed his arm and held him in place. The cadets gathered in the large space all glanced away from the colonel, muttering and shifting. Snow ignored it, striding to Stag to speak into his ear. Stag listened, nodded, and Snow turned to address them, eyes sweeping over the hundreds of young men before him. A tense silence fell before he spoke, voice calm.
"Cadets of the Mernot Army," he began. His gaze lingered briefly on a patch of empty space to the right of the hall, and he frowned slightly, continuing. "As you are all well aware, HQ is under threat. Colonel Stag has already explained the emergency procedures that arise in circumstances like this, and it's in your best interests that you all follow them to the dot. I'm not here to talk about that. I'm here to talk, briefly, about the information every soldier is disclosed with when he successfully completes cadet training. Information that will likely not make much technical sense to most of you who have no background in magical theory, information that may sound far-fetched and impossible—I only ask you to take me seriously and not question my word on this. I'm telling you now, two and a half years early, because I think it's fair that you understand at least part of the truth about this army base and why the safest place in Mernot has suddenly become unsafe. "There is a barrier around HQ. Physically, it's the wall that you see every day you walk out for training. It takes one hour of sustained fire from a tank to break through the stone. But it's the spells woven into it that makes it nigh unassailable—on a good day, the plaster won't even crack if you dropped a missile onto it. Its energy is highly saturated throughout inner HQ, where it's too aggressive for outsiders to handle, and extends into cadet area, where it's more subtle but still protects you from lesser threats. Most of it is maintained by an entity that resides in the centre of the base. A guardian, if you will. His name is Rem. Perhaps some of you saw him two days ago. He is the source of the strongest defence system this base has to offer, and lately he's been… malfunctioning. For lack of a better word."
Snow paused, seeming to weigh his words and sift through the information he had to offer. The hall was quiet. Elstrin waited as patiently as he could. Finally, the lieutenant spoke again. "I won't say what precisely Rem i
s, but as for what he's doing here… he's resting. Mernot was never meant to be a permanent stop, and once you're promoted, some of the missions you'll be assigned to are geared towards finding a place that will be permanent—one with an abundance of natural magic to which Rem can relocate. Then he'll leave, and leave behind the barrier for the soldiers here to safely train behind. But very few such oases exist in Erda anymore, and for years we've been searching to no avail. And Rem's power has steadily declined and warped during his stay here, allowing the sporadic adversary to slip past his guard. It's gotten worse in the past months; three hundred people are a lot to him these days.
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