by Levine, Nina
“Oh no he doesn’t,” Adelaide muttered as she saw King approaching. “What the hell makes you think it’s okay to come here at this time of night?” she snapped at him.
His scowl was unmistakable as he walked up the stairs onto the front porch. My gaze dropped to the casserole dishes he held. Odd. My attention, though, was quickly drawn back to his face as he looked at me and said, “Skylar asked me to bring these over.”
It was totally King not to bother answering her question about why he’d chosen to come so late. And as hurt and angry as I still was with him, I couldn’t move past the way he watched me with concern blazing in his eyes. It was so unlike anything he’d given me at any other time.
Shit.
Addy started in on him again. “Well, you can give me those and turn around—”
I placed my hand on her arm. “It’s okay, babe, I’ve got this.”
She spun her head to look at me, eyes wide with disbelief. “You’re not seriously going to let him in?”
“No, but I’m not going to stand here and get into another argument,” I said, giving her the look I reserved for when I needed her to let me fight my own battles. Adelaide was the kind of bestie every girl needed, always going into battle for her friends. Sometimes, though, she didn’t know when to back away. This was one of those times. King and Addy both had strong personalities. If I let her continue her tirade, God knew where we’d end up.
We stood making eyes at each other for a few moments, the kind of eyes best friends made when they were trying to communicate “are you sure” and “yes, I’m sure” and “I don’t think you are” and “I promise you, I am.” Finally, she took a deep breath and glanced back at King. Pointing her finger at him, she said, “You hurt her again, you’ll have me to answer to, buddy.”
The intensity with which he looked at her and nodded his agreement took my breath away. What was going on here? Three days ago, he’d told me we were done. Now he seemed determined to disregard that decision, so much so that he took Adelaide’s warning without argument. This wasn’t the demanding man I knew.
After giving me one last questioning glance, Adelaide left us and walked to her car. I watched her in silence, refusing to give King my attention straight away. I needed a moment to gather my thoughts. God, I needed more than a freaking moment, but I knew he wouldn’t give me that.
As she pulled out of the driveway, he moved closer and said, “I’ll put these in your fridge.”
I turned my face to his, trying hard not to trace my gaze over his skin. The man was far too good-looking, though. Or maybe it was those eyes of his that did me in. They revealed the depth to him I knew was there. The things I’d desperately wanted to know about him, but hadn’t had the time to learn.
He remained quiet while I examined his face and then his neck. I lost myself for a beat, remembering how his mouth had felt on me, how his lips had grazed my skin, how his eyes had tracked my movements making me feel more desired than I ever had. Making me feel like the woman I’d always wanted to be.
Oh God.
No.
I could not go there with him again.
“Lily,” he rumbled at the same time my mother joined us.
“Lily, I want to call the priest,” she said, her words as disjointed as her actions had been since Brynn was shot.
I frowned at her. “Why?”
She looked at me like I’d asked a silly question. “I want him to give Brynn the Sacrament of the Anointing of the Sick.”
Her words winded me. I struggled to breathe as they worked their way through me. I understood what she said, and I understood the significance of asking for that, but my world spun at the thought of my sister being close enough to death to call on a priest.
She isn’t going to die.
We do not need that sacrament.
“Lily,” Mum said again, cutting through my fog. “Can you please get me his number?”
“No, we don’t need him,” I snapped. “Brynn’s not dying, Mum.”
My outburst caught her by surprise, and her eyes widened. But she came back with, “You don’t know that, and I want to make sure—”
“No! Don’t you dare say that!”
I was wild.
Livid.
I would not entertain the thought my sister was at death’s door.
Mum stared at me and then without another word, she turned and walked back inside. This conversation wasn’t finished, though. Not by a long shot. I stalked after her, ranting as I went. “Do not walk away from me when we’re in the middle of a conversation!”
She ignored me and continued moving towards her bedroom.
I followed. “Mum! Stop. We need to discuss this.”
Finally, she spun around to look at me. The agony lining her face killed me, quieting me long enough for her to get a word in. “Lily, shhh. You will wake the children.”
That was what she was worried about? I knew I should have thought about that, but the only thought in my mind was that I was nowhere near ready to give up on Brynn.
“Brynn isn’t going to die, Mum. You can’t call the priest. The doctor said they are weaning her off the ventilator. That has to be a good thing.”
Her beautiful face crumpled into the kind of sadness that tore at my heart. I hated watching her struggle for the past few days. No mother should have to go through this. “We don’t know what will happen when they do that. Brynn needs this.”
Pain cut straight through me as I allowed her words in.
I didn’t want to think about my sister not being around anymore. Not being my person.
I need a person.
And I don’t want anyone but Brynn.
I had never experienced pain like this. It was an ache that sat sharply and deeply in my body. It felt like a knife had sliced a line from my heart down to my toes. I wanted to cry every second of the day. I wanted my anguish to be ripped from me so I didn’t have to feel it ever again, because surely one jagged tear like that would never hurt as badly as this.
This pain was merciless.
It felt like it could literally kill me.
“Lily,” Mum said, her voice softer, “you must understand I’m doing this to help her heal.”
I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice. “Yes,” I choked out, “but I can’t get behind it, because to me, it feels like you’re saying you agree she might die. I never want to agree with that.”
The silence consumed us as we each stayed rooted to the spot, unable to talk, and unable to move. At a time when we desperately needed the other, we had nothing to offer. I wondered how long it would take for my sister to wake up. I prayed it would be soon, because I wasn’t sure how we would survive this otherwise.
Mum turned away from me and walked the few feet to her bedroom. I stood alone in the hallway as she closed the door, shutting me out. I wished I had it in me to reach out and provide her some comfort, but I didn’t. Instead, I had to carry on with life. Had to get through the day, so I made my way back outside to where I’d left King. He wasn’t there, though, so I went in search of him.
I found him in the kitchen, rifling through the fridge.
He straightened, his gaze roaming over me before settling on my face. “I made room for them in here and pulled out some shit that looked like it had gone off.”
I eyed the bench where he’d placed two containers. “Thank you.” Such a simple gesture, but it meant something to me. At a time when life was so messed up, it was the little daily tasks that helped me focus. That helped me breathe.
Closing the fridge door, he came to me, eyes searching mine. I willed him to stop, but he didn’t. He did what King always did—he forced his way into my space and then some. By the time he was finished, he had me backed against the kitchen bench, his hand on my hip. “Talk to me,” he bossed. “How’s your sister?”
He had been right this morning—I did still want him. God, how I wanted him. The pull I felt toward King wasn’t something I’d ever experienced befo
re. It scared me because he’d already cut and run once, had already hurt me, and that was after only a few weeks of knowing him. How could I trust he wouldn’t do it again? How could I trust him with my heart?
“Lily,” he ordered, “Talk.”
I looked up into his eyes and shook my head. Placing both hands to his chest, I pushed him away. It surprised me that he allowed that, but he did. “I told you this morning that I wouldn’t do this with you again, and I meant it. I appreciate you bringing food over, but—”
Something I said or did triggered a shift in his mood, and a dangerous glint flashed in his eyes. There was heat there, too, and that caused desire to pool in my belly. Before I had time to process that, he came at me again, this time a ferocious energy blazing from him.
Crushing his body to mine, his hand came to my throat as he growled, “Tell me you don’t want this.” He ran his other hand down my body, over my breast, to the button of my jeans. Mouth against my ear, he said, “Tell me you don’t want my hand in your pants, or my fingers deep inside your cunt.”
I moaned. It fell from my mouth before I could stop it. And God, if my pussy wasn’t throbbing with the need for everything he’d just said. I was wet for him, and he hadn’t even moved past the button on my jeans.
He ground himself against me and popped the button. His hand tightened around my throat as a grunt sounded from deep within him. Cutting some of my air supply off, he rasped, “I’m wound so fucking tight for you I can hardly think straight, and while I didn’t come here to fuck you, just laying eyes on you is enough to snap any restraint I have.” He lowered the zip on my jeans. “Tell me you fucking want me as much as I want you.”
He practically had me panting. Everything he said and did turned me on to the point where I wasn’t sure I could say no to whatever he wanted. All he had to do was slip his hand in my pants and I would cross the line of no return. I had to stop him from doing that.
I gripped his hand that held my zip. “I don’t want you.”
He gripped my throat harder, and when he spoke, his tone had turned harder. Edgier. “You’re lying to me.” Before I knew what he was doing, he lifted me onto the bench, took hold of my hand, and guided it into my panties. With his hand over mine, he pressed my finger to my clit and rubbed it.
It was too much. Felt too good. A whimper escaped my lips as my head fell back. I was his to do what he wanted with, and there was no denying it.
His mouth claimed mine in the kind of kiss I craved. Brutal in his intensity, King reached deep into my soul, arousing the side of me I’d never known until he came along. He was savage and demanding, and I gave him what he wanted.
I kissed him back with everything I had.
My moans matched his growls, and when he directed our fingers inside my pussy, I grasped his bicep with my free hand and dug my fingers in hard.
Oh God.
Fuck.
He’d lit me on fire, and I would burn from his heat.
He tore his mouth from mine and found my eyes. The ferocity in his should have scared me, but it didn’t. I may have been scared he would walk away from me again, but I was never scared of him.
Working our fingers inside me, he commanded, “Tell me, Lily. Tell me you want this.” His voice deepened. Grew more forceful. “That you want me.”
I bit my lip, not wanting to give him that. Admitting it gave him all the power. And yet, we both knew the answer. I was dripping for him. Would have been begging for him if he pulled his finger from me. It was clear just how much I wanted him.
“I want you.”
Approval flashed in his eyes and his mouth crashed down onto mine again. He was like a crazed man, kissing me and stroking our fingers deeper and harder inside me. The pleasure became almost too much. I was so close to coming. It was divine and urgent and amazing and too fucking much.
“Oh my God… oh… fuck…” As I came, and as the words tumbled from my lips, he covered my mouth with his hand to muffle it.
I swore I stopped breathing. It was like I was floating, not breathing, unable to think. And as my orgasm shattered through me, I found King watching me with a level of heat I hadn’t seen from him before. It was like his eyes hid a storm of need and fury.
He pulled our hands from my pants, and with his gaze firmly on mine, he sucked my fingers into his mouth. Licking them clean, he grunted his pleasure and said, “You can lie to me as much as you want, but the truth is plain to see in your eyes. I’m not going anywhere. You will be mine.”
He then let me go, stepped away, and with one last look, he walked out of the kitchen and out of the house. He left me in a state of need like no other I’d ever been in. And I knew he would get what he wanted. Because if I stopped lying to myself for even a second, the truth was right there to see and feel.
I wanted King just as much as he wanted me.
Chapter Ten
Lily
I’d never spent much time thinking about death. Having never lost anyone close to me, grief wasn’t something I’d ever experienced. Brynn being shot brought up a lot of new emotions I had to work through, but up until last night when my mother talked about calling a priest, I’d pushed away thoughts of death every time they came at me. Today, that was proving difficult. Today, my mother was hell-bent on getting the priest.
As she made plans for him to come this morning, I dialled Adelaide and put the phone to my ear waiting for her to pick up. Sitting on the chair in the far corner of the intensive care waiting room, I bounced my leg up and down, mentally begging Addy to answer. I didn’t understand my response to all of this. All I knew was I had to get out of here. And I didn’t want to be alone with my thoughts.
The call went to messages. I ripped the phone from my ear, muttering, “Shit,” as I searched for Quinn’s number. I shot her a text to see if she was working this morning. Georgia definitely was, so there was no point asking her to come rescue me. She worked with brides. No way would they understand if she cancelled on them so she could help a friend out in her hour of need.
Quinn rang. “I’m so sorry, babe, but I can’t get out of my shift today.”
My heart sank. “It’s okay. It was a long shot.”
“Shit. Is Addy working, too?”
“Yeah.”
She didn’t bother mentioning Georgia. We both knew she was a workaholic. “Okay, I’m gonna try to find someone to do my shift. I’ll let you know how I go.”
“I love you, girl, but honestly, I’m just being dramatic. I’ll be fine.” Even I didn’t buy that as the lie fell from my mouth.
“Yeah, no. Hang up so I can go look for someone.”
We ended the call and I scrolled my phone. Skylar’s name appeared, and my mind went straight to King. It wasn’t the first time I’d thought of him today. He’d been on my mind from the minute I woke up. And as soon as Mum had brought up the priest again this morning, I’d thought of calling both him and Adelaide at the same time.
I gripped the phone harder.
Do not call King.
That would send the absolute wrong message to him.
Just like I had last night.
My legs squeezed together as the memory of him finger-fucking me filled my mind.
Of him bringing food for my family.
Of him cleaning out my fridge.
King didn’t say a lot and he certainly didn’t make apologies, but his actions meant more than words.
Yeah, like that time he walked away right when you needed him.
I closed my eyes and slowly exhaled in an effort to calm myself. Sometimes people made mistakes. God knew, I’d made many. If I was really honest with myself, I knew the feelings of confusion and hesitation that went along with the early days of a new relationship. Maybe King felt that way. Maybe that was why he did what he did. I just had to answer one question now that he was back and making it clear what he wanted—could I understand and give him another chance?
I could hold onto my hurt and keep my heart closed to somethi
ng I wanted, or I could choose to let that hurt go and embrace the possibility of a relationship that may grow into something I cherished. That’s what life ultimately came down to—the choices we made. I’d always believed clinging to hurt and suffering wasn’t productive. And had always chosen forgiveness over holding onto stuff.
That I was being stubborn about this only told me just how much King meant to me already. It told me I’d found someone who had the power to hurt me, and that spoke to how much I wanted this relationship.
I opened my eyes and looked down at my phone.
I took a deep breath and called King.
He answered almost immediately. “Lily.” His voice rumbled through the phone, gravel and grit. It was the trace of concern it held, though, that affected me the most.
My heart raced. “What are you doing right now?”
He didn’t hesitate for even a split second. “What do you need?”
“You.”
“You’re at the hospital?”
“Yes.”
“I’m on my way.”
He didn’t give or wait for a goodbye; he simply disconnected the call. And got on with business. He did exactly what I needed him to do. And for the first time in days, a hush fell over the chaos of thoughts in my head.
* * *
King arrived at the hospital twenty minutes later. That told me he’d hustled to get here. He found me sitting alone in the intensive care waiting room. His eyes held the same concern I’d heard in his voice on the phone. Taking the seat next to me, he said, “Talk to me.”
I gave him a small smile as I placed my hand on his leg. “For a man who doesn’t talk much, you seem to want to do a lot of talking lately.”
His serious expression didn’t change. “Your mum called the priest.”
With those five words, my heart opened.
I nodded and gripped his leg. “I need you to take me away from here. I can’t be here when he comes.”
He searched my eyes before nodding. When he stood and held his hand out for me, I knew I’d made the right choice calling him.