I damn near skirted my GranTurismo into the next lane when I turned to look at Aniya. She was being too bold, and I immediately realized why Bebe was on the verge of strangling her and putting her out of the house.
“Grown? What bills do you pay, Aniya? Bebe still makes your fucking doctor appointments! You don’t know shit about being grown. Opening your legs up for a nigga doesn’t make you a woman!”
“I hate you!” she yelled, crying hysterically. “I hate you so much, Dretti! Stay out of my life!”
Releasing a tired sigh, I shook my head and thought carefully on my next words. I didn’t want to hurt her feelings even though she’d hurt mine with the stupid shit she said.
Exon had her young mind too far gone.
“You can hate me all you want to right now, Aniya, because you gon’ love me more than anything and regret you ever said that you didn’t when you realize I’m right about that nigga not being any good for you. And even though that shit you just said hurt my feelings, Ima still put my cape on and come to your fucking rescue when you need me to.”
9
Nim
“I’ll get it!” I yelled upstairs to my mother, Dedra, who was in her room changing into nicer clothes.
She wouldn’t tell me why she wanted to look so presentable on a Sunday morning she didn’t plan on spending at church. The only thing she let me in on was that she had something important to speak with me about, and she hoped I would be understanding about the situation. I racked my brain about what it could be the entire time we ate breakfast and tried my best to pry information out of her but she kept her lips sealed.
As long as Britton wasn’t on the other side of the door, I would most likely be understanding about whatever or whoever she wanted to discuss.
“Nim, wait!” my mother yelled and almost tripped over her own feet when she skirted down the stairs. “I need to tell you something before you open the door,” she said, stepping in front of me. “Apparently, Richard had prostate cancer two years ago, and he’s been in remission for a year now.”
I pressed my lips together and lightly stroked my neck as I thought on a response. Richard was my father’s brother who we hadn’t talked to in years. After Emani and I fell out, my parents and her parents fell out too. My mother and father respected my decision not to deal with Emani anymore after what she did with Exon, and her parents didn’t agree with that. They wanted my parents to force me to forgive Emani, and when my parents decided they weren’t going to get in the middle of the issue, they decided to stay away from us.
“I don’t know what to say.” I pulled at the bottom of my ear and looked to my mother for more insight.
“I know, I know. I should’ve told you earlier, but I didn’t think she was going to show up here this soon…”
“You have got to be kidding me!” I yelled in a whisper. “You did not invite Emani over here and not warn me first. How could you?”
My mother rocked back and forth on the heels of her feet and smiled at me nervously.
“I didn’t know how to tell you, Nim. I’m sorry, but please be nice. When Emani called me she sounded like she’d been crying, and what happened between the two of you is a thing of the past. So before we open this door, promise me you’ll be nice, please?”
Clearing my throat, I slowly shook my head at my mother and released a soft sigh. The begging in her voice wouldn’t allow me to go against what she asked of me.
I opened the front door with a big smile on my face, only to be met with a half ass one from Emani.
“Nim, it’s… nice to see you,” Emani said it as if it was still in question.
She looked exactly how I remembered too. With her short stature, big, curly, black hair, and mocha skin complexion. Over the years she’d grown bigger boobs, and her face was a little chunkier, but other than those two things she looked just like she did when we were seventeen years old.
I cleared my throat again and opened my arms to welcome her into a hug. She appeared to have had a long night. The bags under her eyes and redness in them were telling.
Emani walked into my embrace and gave me a stiff hug. My mother opened her arms next and their embrace seemed a lot more cuddly. For my mother’s sake, I kept my mouth shut about it and closed the door with my back while they walked into the kitchen. I waited a minute or two before I joined them and they were already seated at the table when I walked through the kitchen doorway.
“Emani, it’s been a very long time. How have you been?” my mother asked and grabbed one of Emani’s hands.
“I’ve been good. Not too much has changed with me as you can tell.”
“Uh, yes, you still very much look the same.”
My God. The exchange looked as awkward as it sounded.
Taking a seat next to my mother I asked Emani, “So how’s your dad? My mom only told me that he was sick two years ago. Is he doing OK?”
My mother shot me a how could you expression, and I shrugged my shoulders.
It wasn’t like I lied on her, and I was being very polite like she requested.
What more did she want from me?
“What Nim means is that I didn’t get a chance to explain everything you told me over the phone, Emani, but now that you’re here it’d probably be best for you to explain it to her.”
Emani smiled a fake smile I could see right through and turned my way.
“My dad is doing great. That’s actually why I’m here. He’s having a cancer free celebration at his house in the next couple of weeks, and I want to surprise him with you, your mom, and Uncle Chris. He talks about you guys all the time. He just doesn’t know how to reach out, so I’m doing it for him.”
“Oh!” my mother said excitedly. “Of course we will come. Chris talks about Richard all the time too. I think this will be really good for them. I mean, I think it’ll be good for all of us. Clearly, given the situation, we know life is too short. So we will definitely be there, Emani.”
My eyes blinked rapidly as I stared at my mother who obviously couldn’t help but answer for me. Not that I would’ve denied Emani’s request, but jeez, she could’ve at least let me think on it before she opened her big, overly nice mouth.
“Nim? You’re awfully quiet, honey.”
Seriously, Mom? You just can’t stop, I thought to myself.
I’d already given as much as I felt comfortable giving to the conversation, but she was making me drag it on longer than I wanted to.
Smiling as pleasantly as I could, I looked from her to Emani.
“Of course I’ll be there. This should be… interesting.”
“Great!” Emani clapped her hands together and pushed herself back from the table. “Well, I didn’t plan on staying long because I have to work on my date for the party. Oh, and speaking of dates! Nim, will you be bringing a plus one? I’ve heard around the way that you have a hot-shot boyfriend. He owns a real estate company, right?”
“Oh Lord,” my mother whispered under her breath, but I heard her.
“He and I are actually no longer together.” I kept the answer short and sweet.
Emani was the last person on earth I’d tell my relationship business to. She could never, ever again be trusted with information about anyone I was dating. I wouldn’t let her get away unscathed again if she tried to push up on them.
“Awww,” Emani said in a voice that sounded too fake for my liking. “I’m sorry to hear that. Hopefully, you two will work it out soon. I know how hard breakups can be.”
“Mmhm.” My mother nudged me in my side, and I fixed my flat tone. “I guess we’ll see you soon, girl!”
I needed Emani to put a pep in her step and leave. I’d had enough of her fake ass for one sitting. Our encounter hadn’t even been long, and I could tell she hadn’t grown out of her untrustworthy ways. She was still the kind of person who wanted to dislike you more than she wanted to love you. A low-key hating friend.
“The pleasure will be mine, Nim,” the words sounded cryptic co
ming from her lips. “The pleasure will be mine.”
“Oh my God, Andretti!” I rushed over to the black couch he was sitting on, with his head hung low, in his small office and examined his knuckles. They were the first thing I noticed as soon as I walked in the door. The skin was missing off of the knuckles on his right hand, and I could tell they’d been bleeding badly at one point. “What happened to your hand?”
I assume he was pleased by my concern because he pulled me down onto his lap and smiled against my neck before he kissed it softly. My body immediately melted into his, and I felt so at home in his arms I would’ve cried the ugly cry if I didn’t know how to keep hold of a little bit of my composure when I was with him. I’d missed being in his arms something terrible, and it felt peaceful to have them tightly wrapped around me again.
“I don’t want to talk about that. I want to talk about you, mami. I’ve missed you.” Andretti’s voice was low and sounded attractively vulnerable. I wasn’t sure what happened to him in the days since we last saw each other, but I could sense he was in need of comfort. “Tell me you missed me too, Nim.”
“I missed you.”
I didn’t hesitate to say the words, because that’s how I truly felt. I missed everything about Andretti. Everything from his handsome face to the comforting feeling I always felt in his presence. I yearned for him. For his touch. For his sweet words. For his aura. For everything that came along with him.
Andretti’s soft lips pressed against my neck again, and I quivered. His luscious lips alone were enough to make love to me and leave me feeling completely satisfied.
“Did I make you feel like you weren’t, Nim?”
Tears instantly welled up in my eyes, and a lump formed in my throat. I knew exactly what he was referring too. The night we argued I told him the meaning of the tattoo behind my ear. He was wondering if he’d made me feel unworthy. I stayed silent because I knew my voice would crack if I spoke, and that on its own would be enough to make my tears fall.
Andretti’s hold around me grew tighter, and he whispered in my ear.
“I’m sorry, baby.” Baby sounded different than any other time he’d said it before. It held a deeper passion. More sincerity to it. So much sincerity it beckoned my tears to fall, and they listened. “I’m so sorry, Nim. For all of it. I wanna take that feeling away from you for good. I don’t ever want you to feel like that again in your life.”
“Please stop, Andretti. Please don’t do this…”
My voice cracked and trailed off. His apology was making me too emotional. It was the most sincere apology I’d ever heard, and it wasn’t even long or elaborate. It was as if he wasn’t just apologizing for himself, but for every other man who’d made me feel that way too.
“Nah. I have to. I’ve been fucked up about this shit since it happened. I can’t believe I was dumb enough to make you feel like you weren’t worthy because you’re worth more than this world has to offer you, Nim. Genuine people like you deserve to be cherished always. You didn’t deserve for me to come at you wrong like that.
“I’ve been trying hard to convince myself that you shouldn’t be special to me this soon, Nim, but I’m at the point where I can’t keep fighting the fact that you are. You had me hooked the first time I laid eyes on your beautiful ass. I knew the moment I saw you my life wouldn’t be the same if I never saw you again. You had this undeniable pull over me, baby. The kind of pull that made me feel like a piece of myself was missing whenever you weren’t in my presence. I don’t even know how that shit is possible but that’s how a nigga felt. Shit, how I still feel. I don’t wanna be away from you, Nim. I can’t make myself stay away from you anymore.” Andretti patted my inner thigh, signaling me to stand. “Straddle me. I want you to look me in my eyes when I ask you this question.”
I did as he requested and stood up. Andretti gently pulled me by the front of my blouse and helped me straddle his lap. He cupped my chin in his hands and softly pecked my lips.
Staring intensely into my eyes, he trailed his finger along my tattoo and asked, “So the nigga from the restaurant made you feel like that? He made you feel unworthy while you were with him?”
I nodded, too embarrassed to admit the answer out loud. Too embarrassed that I ever allowed any man to dictate my worthiness.
“Why did you stay with him?” I tried to look down at my hands and think about how to answer him, but he used his finger to lift my chin back up. “Don’t ever be embarrassed to tell me anything, aight? I’d never judge you again. Ever.”
“Why do you treat me like this, Andretti? Why are you so passionate about me? You barely know me and…”
“I know your heart,” Andretti said and tapped his finger against my chest. “It spoke to mine the night I met you. I don’t know how so don’t ask me to tell you, but it told me what you needed. I’m just following directions.”
I felt a shifting feeling inside of my chest, almost like a pang, but it wasn’t distressful. It was more out of need than anything else. Both of my hands went to the sides of Andretti’s face, and I pressed my lips hard against his. He slightly opened his mouth and invited my tongue inside. My body temperature rose higher each time he sucked on it, and the way his big hands felt as he rubbed them up and down my rib cage made my pussy grow extremely wet. At the rate we were going, I was never going to be able to answer his question if we didn’t stop.
Pulling back from our hungry kiss, I bit down on my lip and shook my head as I stared into Andretti’s eyes.
“If we don’t stop, you’ll have to wait until tomorrow for me to answer your question.”
Andretti pecked my lips once more, adjusted himself in his jeans, and chuckled.
“You’re right, beautiful. You got me ready to give you a few reminders.” He ran that skillful tongue of his across his bottom lip and smiled sexily. “Answer my question then, baby. I’m ready to listen.”
I pushed out a low sigh and wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Remember you said you won’t judge me. No matter what.”
“That’s a fact. So go ahead and tell me why you stayed with that bum ass nigga.”
“Honestly?” I sighed again and twiddled my thumbs.
Andretti grabbed my hands and stroked them softly. Silently encouraging me not to be embarrassed about anything I was about to say. It was a small gesture but it was the confidence boost I needed to continue with my truth.
“At first, I stayed because I felt like I had something to prove to him and the bitch he was cheating on me with. Can you believe he cheated on me for an entire year, and I never once cheated back? Well… not until I met you.” That made Andretti smile, and I smiled too. “And I know it was dumb of me to stay with him but…”
“Nah. It might not have been very wise but don’t call it being dumb. Fake love feels real when you really want it, baby. No one can fault you for wanting to make the love you thought y’all shared work.”
Good Lord.
Everything he said was absolutely kiss worthy, and I couldn’t help but press my lips against his. Andretti’s brownie points wouldn’t stop adding up. If he earned anymore, I’d figure out a way to marry his handsome ass tomorrow.
Hell, tonight!
“Continue what you were saying, mami.”
“OK…” I sighed. “So after the whole feeling like I had something to prove to him and her spell was over, I went through a period where I didn’t really know how to leave because he was all I knew for the past few years.
“Once I was over that stage, I felt like I couldn’t leave yet because I still had so much to get off of the ground and walking away would’ve made accomplishing those things ten times harder. I felt like after everything he’d put me through I at least deserved to walk away with my shit together, on his dime.
“So I guess you could say I used him in the end. I took money from our joint account little by little so it wasn’t too noticeable, while I planned my escape route. I wanted to save as much as I could so I would
n’t have to depend on him or anyone else after I left him. That plan didn’t go exactly how I wanted it to, but I’m happy things ended between us the way they did. I feel so free without him, Andretti. Like a dead weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.”
“Good. ‘Cause his silly ass didn’t deserve you, and I’m not saying that to make you feel better. Niggas like him deserve to be alone. It’s one thing to fuck around with multiple women when you’re single because you don’t owe anyone any loyalty while you’re doing you. But to fuck around on a woman who’s down for you and committed to you? That’s hella fucked up, and I apologize for his dumb ass, aight? You don’t ever need to hear that shit come from him because I’ve already said it. And I want you to know that it’s still some good niggas out here, Nim. Not all of us go around knowingly breaking women’s hearts.”
“I know, and I believe you, Andretti. I don’t know why, but I really do.”
“Do you still speak to that nigga?”
“No. He’s been trying to contact me, but I ignore his calls. I guess he’s been randomly popping up at my parents’ home too, but I don’t live there so I don’t have to deal with it; they do.”
Andretti nodded his head and looked as if he was noting everything I was saying for future reference.
“Would you believe me if I told you I wouldn’t do what he did to you?”
“Yes.”
Andretti’s eyes smiled, and he pulled me closer into his chest before he whispered in my ear.
“Come with me to Atlanta tomorrow night? We could be back by Tuesday evening. I have to go down there and DJ for a homie of mine. He just moved, and he’s having a celebration party at this club called The Gold Room. I want you to come with me.”
“I would love to, Andretti, but I can’t. I’m meeting with my mother that next morning. We always have brunch on Tuesdays.”
Andretti’s eyebrows pinched together in apparent confusion.
“Are you seriously going to turn down a free trip to Atlanta so you can have brunch with your mother?”
The One He Craves Page 8