“Oh, shut up! I’ve gotten so much better with that, Dretti!”
That was actually the truth too. It’d been a little over a month since our trip to Miami and things between me and Nim were going good. Too damn good, if I was to keep it one hundred. She toned her time-controlling behavior almost all the way down, and we’d taken two more impromptu trips out of town that she loved.
To say I was proud of Nim would be a hell of an understatement, and our relationship had been peaches and cream the entire time we’ve been official… but I couldn’t help but feel like some shit would happen and everything we’d been building would all come crashing down soon. Emani’s wild ass had been too quiet lately. I hadn’t heard from her since the night we got into it at Rhythmz Lounge. Although I was happy about that, I felt it in my soul that her crazy ass was up to some bullshit that would surface soon.
“I know this is super random, Dretti, but have you thought more about reaching out to your mother or trying to find out who some of her family members are?” Nim asked and I pulled her down with me onto a nearby couch.
She scooted into my side and I softly pecked the side of her neck. I couldn’t get enough of the shivering feeling I always felt her body make any time my lips touched a part of her.
“Yeah. I have, actually.”
“Sooo…” Nim squealed excitedly and smiled up at me. “What did you decide? I’m too anxious to know!”
I pulled Nim deeper into my side and nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck, hoping she wouldn’t be bummed by my answer. I’d thought long and hard about reaching out to my mother’s family and came to the same conclusion each time.
“I decided I’m not going to search around for them, Nim. I talked to my father about it again and he basically said Regina didn’t come from a good family. They were the reason she ran away from Kansas City to Omaha when she was real young. He could tell she was a troubled soul the night he met her and, shit, I guess that was one of things that drew him to her and made him make the reckless decision to sleep with her unprotected.”
“Sooo? We were reckless that night we spent together in Chicago then, huh?” Nim asked, ignoring everything else I said.
Petty ass girl.
“Really, Nim? Out of everything I said, that’s what you pay the most attention to?”
Nim shrugged and giggled.
“I’m sorry, Dretti. This is a serious matter and I shouldn’t be playing around, but I couldn’t help myself.” She caressed the side of my jawline and kissed it sweetly. “Are you honestly sure you’re OK with never knowing who the people on your mom’s side of the family are, though? I mean… I’m good with whatever you decide, of course, but I want to make sure you’re really good with this decision, babe. Are you completely sure?”
“I'm 100 percent, mami. If they were bad for her why would they be good for me? You feel me?”
Nim nodded her head and sighed.
“True, true. You do have a point there,” she said and trailed her finger along the beaded rosary tattoo on my neckline. “What does this one mean, Dretti?”
Placing my hand on top of her finger, I thought about the meaning behind the tattoo and chuckled thinking about the woman it honored.
“My grandmother gave me a beaded rosary when I hit my teenage years because she knew I wasn’t gon’ live right. I was destined to be just like her son, and she knew there was nothing anybody could do to stop that from happening. So she gave me a rosary and prayed for grace and mercy over me every single night. She felt like the necklace symbolized a form of protection from God, and that I would always be safe if I wore it because even though God wasn’t happy with the way I chose to live my life, he still protected me on the strength of her prayers.”
“Awww,” Nim cooed. “Dretti, that is incredibly sweet. Seriously. Do you still have the rosary she gave you? I’d love to see it.”
“Nah.” I let out a heavy breath and she squeezed my arms gently. Nim's touch was so damn comforting too. It always was. “I lost it a little after she passed away a few years back. That’s why I ended up getting it tattooed on me.”
Kissing my cheek, Nim smiled against it and trailed her finger along the tattoo again.
“I’m glad it’s kept you safe for me, Dretti.”
“Oh yeah?” I cupped her chin in my hand and kissed her sexy ass, soft ass, pink lips. “I’m glad it did too, baby.”
Although I still hadn’t gone into detail about my past in the drug game with Nim, she’d learned enough context clues over the time we’ve known each other to piece my history together herself.
And what was understood, never needed to be explained.
15
Nim
“Don’t laugh at me, Nim, but I hope I find some new dick at Steeze’s party this weekend. ‘Cause I’m almost positive it’s gonna be a bunch of paid niggas in there and I need all parts, okayyy,” Bria said, thrilled about the prospect of meeting a new potential boo.
“Bria, how do you expect me not to laugh at that foolishness?” I chuckled and shook my head at her.
I was convinced Bria would be crazy and wild for the rest of our lives. Even when we were old as dirt and wheeling ourselves around a raggedy nursing home.
“I’m just saying, bestie. You’ve traded me in for a new dick, so I need to find one of my own. I’m tired of being home alone all the time!” Bria chucked one of her couch pillows at my head, and I laughed even harder than I had the first time.
“I’m sorry, jeez!” I raised my palms in the air and surrendered when I saw she was about to throw another pillow at me. “Dretti won’t let me not spend the night with him every night, and who am I to turn his handsome ass down, anyway? I’d be crazy!”
“Mmhmm,” Bria said, clearly unconvinced. “You’re still a traitor, Nim! You moved in with me just to basically move right out, but I can’t even be mad at you for real. Hell, where are Andretti’s fine ass friends so I can get on your level?”
We both giggled and I took a sip from the wine glass in my hand.
“Girl, that’s honestly a great question. I still haven’t met Keyon yet, but I do know he has a girlfriend. Dretti talks about how crazy over her he is all the time.”
“Ugh! That’s so not gonna help me at all then. My days of being a side bitch are long over.” Bria huffed and took a sip of her wine too. “Hmmm… what about Steeze? I know that rapper dick has to be exquisite. Does he have a woman?”
“Based on the naked women he’s always posting on his Facebook and Instagram, I’d highly doubt it, but you never can tell these days. Niggas will hide a bitch from the world quickly and strategically.”
“Humph.” She sighed and shook her head. “I just can’t win, Nim. I really thought Marcus was going to be it for me but you see how that ended.”
“He still hasn’t tried to contact you since that day at Applebee’s?”
“Girl, no! I told you he was ready to whoop my ass and some more shit. He was not fucking with me at all after that incident.”
“Well good!” I shrugged. Marcus sounded like he might’ve been abusive anyway, and I would go to prison for murder if a man ever thought it was cool to put their hands on my best friend. “You’ll find the man for you eventually, Bria. Don’t even worry or think that you won’t, boo.”
Bria smiled weakly, as if she didn’t believe me, and changed the topic.
“Have you decided what you’re gonna wear to the party yet?”
Before I could respond to her, my phone chimed with a text message alert displayed on the screen, and I giggled loudly when I saw it was three eggplant emojis from Andretti.
Instead of replying to the message I called him, absentmindedly forgetting about me and Bria’s entire conversation.
“You tryna get some or nah,” was the first thing Andretti said when he answered the phone.
I cracked up laughing even more. He was so damn crazy… and I actually liked it.
Shoot, I could truthfully probably put my hand on
the Bible and swear I really loved his crazy side.
“Why are you so damn crazy, Dretti?”
His laugh roared through the phone and it was safe to admit I’d become addicted to the sound of it.
“On some real shit, though, I’ve been thinking about you all day, beautiful. I’m missing that pretty face of yours something serious right now.” Andretti paused, and I imagined him licking his sexy lips and smiling. “You missing me too?”
His vulnerability was so damn attractive!
“You know I am.” Andretti made me feel so childlike. Like a schoolgirl who couldn’t control the butterflies flying around her tummy whenever she heard her crush’s voice. “Am I gonna see you later tonight?”
I didn’t mind being vulnerable to him, either. I would let him know every second of every day how much I wanted to see his face if I had to, but I never did because he always made it a point to let me know he wanted to be blessed with mine.
“Without a doubt, mami. Steeze is throwing a pre-party tonight at the homie’s crib. It’s actually gon’ be more like a kickback, to be honest. Drinking, smoking, and shooting the shit with some folks from around the way. You tryna slide through?”
“Sure. I could go for a casual outing tonight.”
“Cool, cool. I’ll come through your way around six then.”
“Six?” I asked surprised by the time. “They’re getting things started that early?”
I was used to kickbacks being much later in the evening. It seemed improper to have them earlier than nine or ten o’clock. At six, us women would most likely still be getting dressed and dolled up. Casual outing or not, we weren’t going to leave the house to go sit around a bunch of men without looking our very best.
“Nah, beautiful. I’m getting things started that early. You thought those eggplant emojis were a joke?” We both laughed. “I’m tryna slide up in it in seven different ways by seven o’clock, baby. What you think about that?”
I didn’t have to think about anything. My kitty yearned for him long before our conversation even started. She already had her mind set on having every inch of him in every way tonight.
“I don’t think six is early enough, Dretti.”
“Oh yeah? That’s a word then. I’ll be your way at five. Have her ready for me.”
Andretti didn’t give me a chance to respond. He hung up the phone, and I laid my head against the couch cushion and smiled thinking about how amazing having him was going to feel.
“Is Keyon here?” I asked Andretti as we walked inside of his friend Juke’s house and waved to a few familiar faces.
I’d seen a few of the women seated on Juke’s black couches around the city but didn’t really know any of them personally, and I’d yet to meet any of Andretti’s friends. I was hoping tonight would be the first time I’d meet his best friend and DJ partner, Keyon.
“Nah. Key’s not gonna make it tonight, baby. He and his girlfriend got into it bad over some shit that happened with her baby daddy, but he told me to tell you he looks forward to meeting you at the party on Sunday.”
I stayed quiet while Andretti led me over to a nearby free couch in the living room and yelled over the loud music playing to one of his friends.
“Aye, where the fuck that nigga Juke at? And where is Steeze? Niggas don’t show up to their own shit now?”
The man Andretti yelled at laughed and smiled a pretty white smile that paired nicely with his smooth chocolate skin.
“You know niggas don’t be on shit for real, Dretti. They just be talking when they say they wanna put some shit together. Them niggas ain’t been here all night!”
“That’s crazy as fuck.” Andretti chuckled too and pulled me down onto his lap after he sat down. Wrapping his arms around my waist he asked, “Are you comfortable in here, baby? ‘Cause these niggas gon’ be smoking that loud shit all night. We don’t have to stay here very long, though. Especially since the niggas hosting ain’t even here.”
“I’m good, Dretti.” Andretti’s smile made me smile, and I laid my head against his shoulder. “Are you drinking?”
“I might…”
“Aye!” the man Andretti spoke to earlier yelled at him again and stole his attention away from me. “I thought you said that nigga Key wasn’t coming tonight? His ass just pulled up in the Wraith,” he said peeking through the blinds.
“Shit, that’s what that nigga told me an hour ago. His ass must need to smoke or something after dealing with his woman.”
“Word. I know about that shit all too well, brah,” the man said and walked towards the door. “And my bad, ma. I know y’all was over there caking and whatnot. I ain’t mean to interrupt.”
“Get the fuck on, Ross.” Andretti laughed and I did as well. “I guess you’ll get to meet Key right now then, mami. You ready?”
“Why wouldn’t I be?” I asked genuinely. “Is he crazier than you or something?”
“Without a doubt, baby…” Andretti patted my inner thigh and said, “Hop up real quick. We gon’ meet him outside. I need to see what type of time his ass is on.”
I stood up as Andretti requested, and he led me out of the living room and onto the front porch of the house. When we walked outside, I saw a light-skinned man, who was almost as equally handsome as Andretti, stepping out of a white Rolls-Royce Wraith and dusting his shoulders off. He just knew he was fly as hell, his aura said it all, and he smiled wide the second he laid eyes on me.
“Damn," he said as he casually strolled over to where Andretti and I were standing. "It’s about time I met the little beauty who officially took my best homie out the game.” Keyon pulled me into a soft hug and smirked when we pulled away. “Congratulations, ma. Dretti is a good nigga. Make sure you treat my mans well.”
“Of course I will!” I laughed, and Andretti pulled me back into his side. “It’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Likewise, baby…”
“Watch yo’ mouth, Key. You’re doing too goddamn much right now, nigga,” Andretti said with a hint of seriousness in his tone but he had a big grin on his face.
“Shut your pussy ass up, Dretti. Don’t be mad at me ‘cause your little mama likes the kid.”
“Get the fuck on somewhere, Key.” We all laughed, and Keyon dapped Andretti up. “You look like you need to light one, anyway. Go handle that.”
“You don’t even know the half of it, brah,” Keyon said with a shake of his head. “Ima catch y’all two lovebirds inside later. I’m in need of a fat bleezy and two personal bottles of that Gin that’ll make you sin and shit. Y’all be easy.”
Keyon hugged me once more and walked inside of Juke’s house. After he made it in, Andretti and I took a seat on the wooden porch swing and he kissed the side of my cheek before wrapping me tight in his arms.
“I love you, Nim.”
The words came out of his mouth so soft and low I almost mistook them for something other than what he’d really said… until he said them again with more passion. More force. More sincerity.
“I real life love you, Nim, and it’s not the type of love where I just say the words whenever I want to make you feel good about yourself. It’s on the level where I want to be anything you need. Anything you want. Baby, on some real ass shit, I won’t hesitate to be whoever you want and need me to be. Give me the word and I’ll be it. Give me the time and place and I’ll show up. I’d for real do anything for you, Nim. Anything.”
My eyes misted and my heart thumped so loudly in my chest I could hear it beating in my ears. Andretti kissed away the free-flowing tears coming down my cheeks and held me tighter. Somehow, his embrace made me more emotional than his words had, and I buried my face in his chest and covered it up with my hands, wondering what the hell I’d done to deserve a man as passionate and sincere as Andretti was. I’d already felt as if I loved him from the weekend we spent in Miami to all the days leading up to tonight.
Andretti Matthews made my heart feel perfectly whole.
Andretti Matthew
s made my heart feel insanely complete.
“What do you need me to be for you, baby?” he asked in the sweetest tone. “I want you to tell me so I can start now. Tell me who and what you need me to be and I’m on that shit. I swear to you.”
Wiping my cheeks, I looked up into his beautiful eyes and ran my finger along his neckline. I could never get enough of touching Andretti’s skin. His skin against mine was my safe place.
“Honestly?" I bit down on my lip and stared deep into his eyes. "I need you to be my best friend, Dretti. I want us to be best friends before anything. That way if we ever break up, if for some reason we ever drift apart romantically, we’ll still have a friendship to hold onto.” Gripping his black T-shirt in my hand, I placed a kiss on his lips and smiled against them before I pulled my head back and said, “I don’t ever want to be without you, Dretti. I want you to always be there for me no matter what our situation is.”
“I can definitely be that and do that, baby. Can I have something from you in return, though?”
“Of course, Dretti.” I cozied up next to him and laid my head on his chest again. “What do you need or want from me?”
“I need you to promise me that I’ll always be the one you run to first, Nim. I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to find comfort outside of me. ‘Cause on some real shit, I’d go crazy if I found out you were dipping off with someone else. And I’m telling you now that I’d kill whoever the nigga was and get away with it too.”
Jesus!
I knew Andretti was totally serious too. His tone didn’t have a hint of playfulness in it at all, and I knew he was crazy enough to actually kill a man if he needed or wanted to.
“For real, though, Nim. I don’t ever want you to feel like you gotta go outside of me to feel worthy or loved. I don’t ever want you to feel shy or embarrassed to come and talk to me about how you’re feeling inside.
“If you ever feel like a nigga ain’t doing enough to prove he loves you and that you’re it for him, let me know. I want you to feel comfortable enough to come to me about any and everything. It can be about the most off the wall shit. Some shit you know will make you sound crazy as hell, and I won’t judge you. I promise you that.”
The One He Craves Page 12