by Maya Banks
She lifted her head, pulling away until she could look into his eyes. “Isaac?”
“Yes, baby,” he said, caressing her cheek in a comforting gesture.
“Is it true? Is what I saw true?”
He blew out his breath, wishing he could give her definitive answers. “I don’t know yet. We’re checking on it right now and as soon as we know something you’ll be the first one to hear.”
“I don’t remember much about her,” Jenna said fretfully. “Will that anger her?”
“No, baby,” he rushed to say. “You were just a child and you’ve endured so much trauma since then. No one could expect you to have clear memories of a life that was lost to you two decades ago.”
She looked down a moment, her fingers fidgeting against his shirt.
“What is it, baby?”
She glanced back up at him, a sheen of moisture coating her eyes. Then she licked her lips, her uncertainty evident in her every movement.
“Should we contact her?” she asked hesitantly. “Should I meet with her?”
“That’s a decision only you can make, sweetheart.”
“Is it stupid that I’m scared to meet my own mother?”
“Of course not. Baby, I’d be more concerned if you weren’t nervous over the prospect. But listen to me, okay? You don’t have to make up your mind today. Or tomorrow. You take all the time in the world you want and when you feel you’re ready then we’ll set something up, but it has to be safe for you or it doesn’t happen.”
Jenna nodded and then swallowed visibly. “I want to see her. I have to see her. I have vague memories of a woman who looks so much like her. But most of my memories are of my father.”
Tears filled her eyes and slid soundlessly down her cheeks.
“And now I know he’s dead,” she choked out. “For so many years, I held on to this thread of hope that maybe one day I’d get to see him again. That he’d remember me and that he missed me and that he’d want me to come home. But they killed him. God, and I saved those monsters’ lives time and time again. I’m glad they’re dead,” she hissed, her jaw clenched tightly. “I only wish they’d suffered more.”
Isaac pulled her into his arms again and rubbed his hand up and down her back, not saying anything, just doing what he could to comfort her when she was hurting so badly.
“If you want to have a meeting with your mother, we can arrange it, Jenna. But only if that’s what you want and only after we do some checking to make sure she is who she says she is.”
Jenna nodded. “I understand. I think it’s something I have to do even if it’s just to finally know if there were ever people out there who loved me. A family. Someone who grieved for me after I was taken. I’ve always felt so alone in the world, as if I had no one.”
“You have me,” he said fiercely. “You’ll always have me. Never again will you be alone. Never, Jenna. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She gave him a wavering smile, but she nodded and then leaned in to brush her lips across his. “I do know,” she whispered. “And thank you. That means more to me than you’ll ever know.”
“Are you sure this is what you want?” he asked.
Slowly she nodded her head. “It’s what I need to do whether I want to or not. I have to make peace with that part of my life if I’m ever going to be truly free.”
He kissed her, soft and warm, lightly so as not to overwhelm her when she was so vulnerable, but just so she remembered that he was here, that he’d always be here, and that he loved her with everything he had.
“I’ll tell the others then,” he said after he’d pulled away. “Provided everything checks out, we’ll set it up as soon as we come up with a plan that provides the least danger to you.”
“Will you be with me?” she asked tentatively. “I don’t want to meet her alone.”
He cupped her cheek with his palm and stared directly into her eyes. “Honey, listen to me. Where you go, I go. Always. And that’s a fact. There will never be a time where you go anywhere without me right by your side. I’m never letting you out of my sight if I can help it.”
She relaxed visibly, some of the worry and strain lessening in her face. “Thank you,” she whispered. “I’m afraid to meet her and I don’t know why. I’m so nervous I feel like I could throw up. But my heart tells me I have to do this, and as long as you’re with me, I can do anything, Isaac.”
TWENTY-FIVE
TORI Devereaux woke with a gasp, tears streaming down her cheeks from the horror of the dream that had played in real time as if she’d been there, standing just feet away as the event had occurred.
Familiar arms wrapped around her and she found herself against Dane’s chest as he ran his hand down her hair to soothe her. She blinked in confusion even as the tears continued to seep from her eyes. How had he known? Why was he in her bedroom?
Dane gently pulled her away as he reached with one hand to turn on her bedside lamp. The implacable lines of his face were immediately illuminated and for a moment she thought he was angry with her. But then his eyes softened as they filled with concern. For her?
They’d certainly butted heads in the past, but he’d also been there when she’d dreamed of Caleb with blood all over him and was certain she’d seen his death, and Dane had comforted her then as well. He seemed to run hot and cold with her, though for the most part he treated her with indifference and kept his distance. That was why she’d been so shocked when he’d taken over her protection when all the women were locked down because of the possible threat to the entire organization.
Some of her confusion must have been evident in her expression, because he gently wiped away her tears and said in a soothing tone, as if he were trying to calm a wild animal, “You screamed during your dream.”
At the stark reminder of the dream still raw in her memory, her face became a mask of sorrow.
“Was it a nightmare?” he asked quietly.
“Nightmare” was a code name for the lingering horror of her time in the hands of a madman who’d tortured and raped her and would have killed her if Ramie hadn’t been able to give Caleb information on where she was being held. As a result she’d been rescued, but not before her soul had been destroyed by a monster.
She lowered her head and shook it, tightly squeezing her eyes shut. “I saw someone murdered in cold blood.”
“Who?” Dane demanded urgently.
“Not one of ours,” she whispered. “I don’t know who it was.” She beat her hand on the mattress, anger mixed with helplessness sharpening her fury and frustration. “I’ve never seen her before in my life! Why have a dream of some poor unfortunate woman who will soon die if I can’t do anything to stop it?” she said in a shrill voice. “I hate it, Dane. I hate this stupid ability. It helps no one, but it tortures me because I know what is to come and there’s not a damn thing I can do about it!”
Dane carefully pulled her into his arms again and rubbed his hand up and down her back as she beat her fist against his shoulder in frustration and grief.
“I know, baby. I know. I’m so sorry you have to endure this on top of so much else,” he murmured against her ear. “I wish I could make it go away. But you need to know this, if you don’t understand anything else. What happened to you before will never happen again. I—we—will protect you. Always.”
She sighed. “I know, Dane. I believe you. I know my brothers blame themselves and it hurts me to see them shoulder that blame. It wasn’t their fault and I’ve never blamed them for what happened. I wish they could see that for themselves. They still look at me with pain and guilt in their eyes. They’ve become overprotective as a result and they hover constantly. I feel so terrible, like I’d sound ungrateful or heartless, for wanting to ask them how I can forget and get past what happened when they can’t.”
“Then you should tell them exactly that,” Dane said against her hair. “This isn’t about them, Tori. You should say and do exactly what makes you feel better and what will make
you heal. You aren’t responsible for their sense of guilt. They love you and worry about you. We all do. But you should just be honest with them. You’re all hurting, but no one will talk about it and avoiding it isn’t the answer.”
She sighed again. “How did you get to be so wise, Dane?”
He stiffened in surprise and then laughed, though there was no amusement in his voice. “I’m far from wise, little one. In fact I’ve done some pretty stupid things in my life.”
She knew better than to pry. Dane was one of the most private people she knew, and she was surprised he’d opened up this much. She wasn’t about to do anything to push him away. Nor would she ever admit her true feelings regarding him. Humiliating herself wasn’t very high on her priority list and she thought Dane saw her as a spoiled, ungrateful little rich girl. He’d probably pat her on the head and be amused by her “little crush” on him.
“Let me get you one of your pills to help you get back to sleep,” Dane said, pulling away from her. “It’s only one in the morning and you need more sleep, Tori. You’re running on fumes and if you don’t start taking better care of yourself, you’re going to collapse.”
She opened her mouth to tell him no, that she didn’t want another damn pill, but he held up his hand and silenced her with a look. Then he took the bottle from her nightstand, shook one of the pills into his hand and offered it to her with some water.
She blew out her breath in frustration but didn’t argue—what was the point? He didn’t understand. He’d never understand. She hated to sleep because it was the only time she felt truly vulnerable. When she was either plagued by nightmares of the very real events of the past or haunted by things yet to come that she was helpless to change or stop.
To her shock, it was as if she’d spoken her thoughts aloud, because he cupped her chin after she’d swallowed back the pill and their eyes met.
“If you’d take the medicine as you’re supposed to, then the dreams wouldn’t be as frequent and you wouldn’t be so exhausted all the time.”
When Dane turned to leave, Tori swore she saw more than just normal worry or concern in his eyes, but it—and he—was gone before she could decipher exactly what it was she had seen in his gaze.
At her doorway, he paused and without looking back said in a gruff voice, “I’ll be back to check on you periodically. I don’t want you to worry, Tori. Nothing will happen to you while you’re in my care. I won’t let it.”
TWENTY-SIX
“ZACK and Gracie just went in,” Shadow’s report sounded in Isaac’s concealed earpiece. “Caleb and Ramie and Beau and Ari are already in position. The others are at the bar having a drink and doing the guys’ day-out routine, watching the game on television, acting like a normal group of friends without causing too much disruption. The table where you, Jenna and her mother will be is surrounded and we have eyes on all the entrances and exits. Wait two minutes and then take Jenna in and seat her at the arranged table. I’m watching the front and will alert you when I see her mom arrive.”
“Got it,” Isaac responded quietly.
He glanced over at Jenna sitting in the passenger seat, who was clearly in an agitated state. He reached over to take her hand and he squeezed it reassuringly.
“You ready to go in, baby?”
Fear and uncertainty swirled in her blue eyes and she bit her bottom lip in nervousness.
“I’m afraid,” she admitted. “I don’t know what to say to her or what to even ask her.”
“Then let her do the talking,” he advised. “You’ll know what to say or how to handle it when the time comes. And if at any time you want the meeting to come to an end, we get up and leave. Okay?”
She nodded, then reached up to slide her hand down the side of his jaw. “I love you, Isaac. It means the world that you arranged this for me.”
“Anything for you, angel. I’d give you anything in the world. And I love you too. So damn much.”
She smiled, seeming to relax as the anxiety lessened in her eyes. Then she sucked in a deep breath. “I’m ready.”
“We’re coming in,” Isaac said to Shadow.
He got out and then walked around to Jenna’s side, his eyes rapidly scanning the area, carefully looking for any potential threat. He opened her door and helped her from the vehicle and then pulled her close against his side, wrapping his arm around her body.
Moments later they were seated at the prearranged table and as Isaac had instructed her, Jenna didn’t acknowledge or look in the direction of the other couples.
Jenna flipped through the menu, not even dwelling on the excitement of her first time eating in an actual restaurant or being able to choose any of the delicious-sounding entrees. It felt as if a thousand butterflies were swarming around in her belly.
Her gaze flew to the doorway every time someone new came in, her pulse leaping, wondering when or if her mother would arrive. Their telephone call had been brief. Both women had been overcome with emotion and Jenna hadn’t been able to stop crying long enough to go into any detail about her ordeal. Her mother had just repeated over and over that she had prayed for this reunion every single day since Jenna had been taken from her.
Now that the day had come, Jenna had no idea what to say. The fact that she had family, someone who loved her and who’d grieved for her for so long, should hearten her. She was . . . scared. Not just afraid, but utterly terrified.
Isaac’s gaze was constantly on her, worry for her reflected in his eyes. Then he straightened in his seat and reached down to enfold her hand in his. He held it tightly, not letting up.
“She’s coming in now,” Isaac murmured.
Jenna’s pulse was like a hammer pounding at her temples, her heart racing so fast she felt light-headed.
“I’ll be right here the whole time, baby,” Isaac said, pulling her hand into his lap.
Jenna’s gaze locked onto the front entrance as a blond woman, the same woman Jenna recognized from the news program, walked in, her gaze eagerly scanning the occupants of the restaurant. The hostess smiled at her and after the two exchanged a few words, gestured toward the table where Jenna and Isaac sat and escorted her to the seat just across from Jenna.
Her mother stopped, staring at Jenna, seemingly in shock. She should greet her mother, surely. Should she hug her? Say hello?
Jenna rose on shaking legs and met her mother halfway around the table and was immediately enfolded in a tight hug as her mother gathered her in her arms.
“Oh my darling baby girl,” her mother said, her voice choked with tears. “You have no idea how long I’ve prayed for this day. I never gave up hope of finding you. I’ve missed you so much.”
“Mama,” Jenna whispered, closing her eyes as she clung to the older woman.
When the two finally drew away, one of the buttons on her mother’s coat caught on Jenna’s wrist and scratched her bare skin.
“Oh I’m so sorry,” her mother fretted, wiping at the light scratch evident on Jenna’s skin. “That button is forever catching on stuff. I really do need to have it mended.”
“It’s all right,” Jenna said softly. “It’s nothing. Really.”
“Ladies, please have a seat and we’ll order something to eat. Jenna’s been so nervous over getting to see you again that I couldn’t get her to eat breakfast,” Isaac said.
“You must be Isaac,” Jenna’s mother said, beaming at him.
“Oh, I’m being terribly rude,” Jenna said, a flush burning her face. “Yes, this is Isaac. He’s . . .” She glanced at Isaac standing so protectively beside her and a flood of love washed over her, her heart aching with the ferocity of the emotions she felt for him.
“He’s the man you’re in love with,” her mother said with a laugh. “Oh darling, that much is very obvious, just as it’s obvious he loves you very much as well.”
“That I do, ma’am, and it’s a pleasure to meet you,” Isaac said, leaning to kiss her on the cheek.
Tears were bright in her mother’s ey
es when she took the seat across from Jenna and Isaac. “I’m so glad she has you, that someone has been here for her when I couldn’t be,” she said to Isaac. “You look at her the way Jenna’s father used to look at me. I was devastated when I lost him and my sweet baby daughter on the same day. I’ve missed them both every single day of my life.”
Jenna tensed, and Isaac rubbed his hand up and down her leg as he quietly gave the waitress their order.
“I remember him,” Jenna said tearfully.
Her mother looked at her sharply. “You do? What do you remember?”
She smiled sadly at her mother. “My birthday party. It was my fourth, I think. It’s the last memory I have of him. He was swinging me around and there was a cake with lots of pink flowers and icing.”
Her mother’s expression changed to one of anger. “Yes, it was your fourth birthday. And the next day he was killed and you were taken from me.”
Jenna lowered her head, staring down at the hand clasped in Isaac’s. Her stomach knotted. She was suddenly besieged by nausea and she fought back the urge to throw up.
“Are you all right?” Isaac asked, bending his head so he could look into her eyes.
She nodded, not wanting to worry him even more. “I just need to eat,” she said. “I’m feeling hungry. Missing breakfast wasn’t such a good idea after all.”
“I don’t like you missing any meals,” he replied with a growl. “I don’t like anything that causes you so much upset or worry that you can’t eat.”
His expression eased into one of relief when the waiter arrived with their food. Jenna had never eaten shrimp, and on the commercials she’d seen for various restaurants as well as on the menu she’d absentmindedly perused, it had looked delicious. After Isaac had patiently answered all of the hundred questions she had about the foods she saw on television, she’d wanted to try the seafood the first opportunity she had. And so she was having a delectable-looking pasta dish with shrimp sautéed in butter and Cajun seasoning.
Isaac and her mother had both chosen succulent-looking steaks, and Isaac cut a piece and offered it to Jenna to try. As they ate, the turmoil in her stomach only grew, but she distracted herself by listening and responding to her mother’s excited chatter.
Isaac and the others had expressed the need for Jenna not to disclose any of what had happened after her escape from the cult and certainly not that a dangerous threat existed. The only story Jenna could relate was that she had made her escape days before the unfortunate murder of the rest of the cult and that Isaac had found her and stepped in to protect her, and they’d fallen in love in the process.
Jenna’s mother seemed to think the story was wildly romantic, though her expression hardened at any mention of the cult. Her only remarks were that the bastards had deserved exactly what they’d gotten.
“But certainly no threat exists to her now,” her mother said to Isaac, prompting him to tense.
“I’m protecting Jenna from anyone whose intention is to hurt or exploit her in any way.”
“I’m glad she has you, then,” her mother responded.
Then her mother’s sharp glance honed in on Jenna and her expression became one of concern. “Is something wrong, darling?”
Isaac immediately turned, and Jenna wished her mother hadn’t called attention to her. But the truth was, her stomach was about to revolt despite her huge effort to get through lunch without causing a fuss.
“What’s wrong, baby? You’re pale and you’ve hardly eaten anything.”
“I feel sick,” she admitted. “I’m not sure the shrimp agreed with me at all.”
“I’ll take you to the bathroom,” her mother offered, rising swiftly from her chair.
“She goes nowhere without me,” Isaac said in a steely voice.
Her mother smiled. “Of course not. But you can’t go into the ladies’ room with her, so I’ll go in and make sure she’s okay and you can stand at the door and make sure no one else comes in.”
Jenna could tell Isaac was about to argue that he’d damn well go into the bathroom with her and no one would stop him, so she laid her hand on his arm and looked pleadingly at him.
“Please just wait for us at the door. I’ll just be on the other side of it. I really do think I’m going to be sick.”
As she spoke, perspiration broke out on her forehead and her stomach lurched. Even her hands felt clammy and the room was starring to blur around her.
She heard Isaac curse, and then his arm slipped around her and he guided her toward the bathroom. Once there, he opened the door and quickly did a scan, ensuring no one else was in it. It was a single-occupant bathroom, a fact that obviously eased some of Isaac’s worry, and he quickly motioned Jenna and her mother in.
“You come get me if she needs me,” Isaac told her mother tersely.
“Of course I will,” she said in a soothing voice.
Jenna was just grateful to be inside the bathroom and out of view of customers inside the restaurant. She felt faint, but most of all the contents of her stomach felt as though they were trying to claw their way up her throat.
She rushed to the toilet and violently heaved. She put one hand down on the toilet seat to brace herself and wrapped her other arm around her waist in an