by Craig Beck
Rat Race Escape Example – Sarah Jane Greeff
"I had originally done Voluntary Service Overseas in Zimbabwe, which was when I fell in love with teaching. I also fell in love with Nick, who would later become my husband and crucially, was a qualified safari guide.
I left Zimbabwe to come and teach in the UK but after three years, I was totally exhausted teaching textiles technology to Year 7–13 in a high school.
After I married Nick, we went on honeymoon to Zambia. It was then that we made the snap decision to go back to Africa while we were still young and live and work together in remote wilderness areas.
Our families did everything in their power to stop us - to them, it sounded crazy, stupid and dangerous. It was everything your parents don’t want to you do.
And we were worried about making the commitment of giving up very stable good jobs in the UK to go and live in a tent for seven months of the year, miles away from anywhere.
Working as safari managers in Zambia's Luangwa Valley, the lifestyle difference was dramatic.
The nearest town was a five hour drive. We had no electricity - just a satellite phone for emergencies - and all our water was filtered through ceramic candle filters. Our team of 15 woke up with the sun, went to bed with paraffin lamps and washed in unfiltered river water.
I spent the first few months re-building the camp and opening up the bush roads from damage caused by the rainy season. I then worked as the spotter for game drives, working a large spotlight for the magical night drives in the National Park.
We got no time off at all during the seven months we worked the season. The offset is that we got to live in an amazing wild environment, with no fear of being run over by a bus and 300 hippos living in the river right in front of us.
I went from working my way through a pile of marking to spotting the serval and leopard on a night game drive, then going back to camp with clients for supper cooked over a wood fire. I also raised a zebra (pictured above) from two days old until she was fully grown. She has since had her own baby and it's honestly the best thing I have done EVER!
After eight years, my husband and I returned to the UK to run own business on the Isle of Wight, making artisan Biltong.
You have to do whatever you can to experience life to the full. We only get to do this once!"
I was given a push but I would say to anyone thinking of making a career change – don’t wait for that! Trust your instinct and if it is telling you to jump, then jump. You will make it work."
V is for Victim
“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward; how much you can take and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done! Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!
I'm always gonna love you, no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life”, Rocky Balboa
I want to tell you about Katie, I am sure you know her already, perhaps not the same Katie but certainly ‘a Katie’. Poor Katie drew a bad hand in life; she didn’t do great at school because as she tells the story the teachers were idiots. She always dreamed of a cool apartment overlooking the sea, with a little dog called Jack. Unfortunately because her boss is an asshole she has to rent a crumby flat in a rough part of town and due to the fact the Mr. Brown the landlord is a total douche and doesn’t allow pets she is not allowed to get a dog.
Talk to Katie yourself and she will tell you how unfair life is and how she deserves so much more than such and such a person and yet they have everything she wants. She will tell you that nobody really understands her and all her friends are two-faced bitches who are out to cause as much trouble as possible.
Is it possible that Katie just got an unlucky break in life, is there any chance that she is correct in her assessment of life? No of course not!
Katie is a victim and these victims are everywhere – we can’t move for them. These are the people that believe life owes them something and they often spend an entire lifetime furious that the neighbor got yet another new car or so and so got promoted at work when they are quite clearly incompetent.
Victims not only suck the energy out of their own lives but anyone who comes close enough to get caught up in their vortex of doom. They are mood hoovers and I am almost certain you can think of at least a few people who fit perfectly into this description. Let’s first talk about how you deal with this trait in other people and then I want you to have a little honesty session about areas of your life where you have adopted the roll of victim, because its easier than facing the hard truth.
How do you help a victim? The short answer is you can’t, because they don’t want to be helped. They like being the victim; it gives them a convenient explanation as to why their life blows chunks. On their deathbed you could ask them ‘why didn’t you live the life you were truly capable of’ and they will have enough plausible deniability to stubbornly point at something or someone and say ‘because of that’. All the time they are pointing a finger of blame at everything and everyone around them they are blissfully unaware they have three fingers pointed right back at them. It is really frustrating to care about a victim because you can see the huge untapped potential in them but they cannot. When they look in the mirror all they see is someone who has been badly treated by life.
If they are a family member, or even perhaps your son or daughter you will desperately try to help them see the truth but in my experience all you will end up doing is expending vast amounts of energy to get precisely nowhere with them. The harsh reality is this; we are all divine creators of life. We each have a fragment of God embedded within us and we all have the power to perform our own miracles. If we take decisive action and flow with the universe instead of kicking violently to go back up stream we can manifest breathtakingly amazing lives for ourselves. Victims have this power too but they choose to ignore it.
How to spot a victim
Victims have reasons, lots of them and often they seem entirely logical and plausible explanations.
I am ill because the doctor gave me the wrong medicine
I am poor because my boss is a jerk
I got fired because I am a woman
I got made redundant because I am black
They won’t employ me because I am white
I can’t quit drinking because it’s the only pleasure I have left.
I am too stressed to stop smoking
The list goes on and on and all of it is 100% proof bullshit. There are four certainties in this life. You will be born, you will die and in between you will pay tax and life will repeatedly knock you down. As Rocky Balboa says ‘Ain’t nothing going to hit as hard as life’. Getting knocked down is not bad luck anymore than turning on the tap and getting water could be considered luck. Life is getting knocked down, the choice is getting back up again looking it in the eye and saying ‘is that all you got, hit me again but this time put some effort in it you big girl’s blouse’.
The reason you can’t help the victims is when they get knocked down they love it. It gives them what they want, an excuse not to get back up again. They are like boxers who are too tired to keep fighting hoping for one decent punch so they can fall down with dignity and stay the hell down until the referee counts ten.
Exercise
Stop reading for ten minutes and think about the victims in your life. Ask yourself who they are, how long they have been there and most importa
ntly how much time are you spending trying to make them feel better. Which by the way is like trying to push oil uphill. Once you are clear about who these people are I want you to make a conscious decision to spend less and less time in their company – until they are no longer a part of your life. That’s right I am asking you to fire the mood hovers in your life, you can’t help them, they are not helping you so it’s time for them to leave.
But wait… what if you are the victim?
Are you a victim? This is a pretty easy question to answer; think of something in your life that you are not happy with. For example lets say you need more money. Now with that problem in mind explain to yourself why this is your current situation. If you find you have answers and excuses readily available (such as because my boss keeps overlooking me for promotion) then you are operating in a victim mindset around this area. If your response is more positive and places responsibility on your own shoulders then you are in an abundance mindset (for example – I took a pay cut to change direction in my career but I know if I give this new job 100% I am going to earn ten times the amount I would have in the old role).
Having an abundance mindset always starts with you taking 100% responsibility. Let me give you an example from my own life. In 2007 I bought a villa in Cyprus, I didn’t know it at the time but I was investing at possibly the worst time in the last century. Property prices were hugely overinflated and there was a mad rush of eager buyers trying to get in on what was being touted as a gold rush. Realtors were promising anyone who would listen that you could easily double your money within a few short years. I had always wanted to live in the sunshine by the sea so I went all in. Three months after I collected the keys to my property the Lehman Brothers collapsed and the whole western world went into a financial meltdown. Overnight my property lost 40% of its value but that was irrelevant, as the whole market had evaporated. Due to a concrete explosion over the past few years the tiny island of Cyprus found itself with thousands and thousands of new build property and absolutely no buyers to be seen. To make matters worse I had taken a mortgage in Swiss francs on the advice of the bank. Because Switzerland was considered a safe haven outside the crashing dollar, pound and euro their currency value went through the roof. My mortgage payments tripled over night.
Whose fault is this disastrous investment? The victim would say it’s the realtor for advising me badly; it’s the bank for selling me a volatile product or any other number of villains that could be pointed at and labeled as the ‘fault’ behind this mess. At the point where you create an excuse you become a reaction to life. You are a passenger who is responding to the events of life that are thrust upon you. Conversely when you accept 100% responsibility for the events around you then you are in the driving seat. Let me tell you, when you are alone in a runaway car the last place you want to be is in the passenger seat.
My thoughts about the house in Cyprus are this: It is my responsibility, I created it and I will solve it. I don’t believe it was a mistake, I believe it is a blessing here in my life to push me in a specific direction, to challenge me, to teach me and ultimately to make me stronger. When the time is right the situation will resolve one way or another.
I run a website for men called Powerfully Confident. I help guys build their self-belief and self esteem. One of the most common problems I face time and time again is the victim mindset. Guys will state that they can’t find the woman of their dreams because they are too short, not good looking enough, not educated enough, not interesting enough or any other of a million excuses. I always tell them that before we can work together any further they must go and read about a guy called Nick Vujicic.
Nick Vujicic was born without any arms or legs. The closest thing he has to a useable extremity is what should have been his left leg. Looking nothing like a human leg, it is a small protrusion that he affectionately refers to as his chicken drumstick. He uses the limited motion of this appendage to control his electric wheelchair.
Can you imagine what childhood was like for this guy? He grew up always feeling different, always feeling left out. Watching his friends run, jump and play soccer. Always the spectator and never the protagonist. Sure he has had his moments of despair and openly admits that he has been to some dark places but he chooses to do the opposite of what you would expect. Rather than wallow in his misfortune he chooses to embrace the life he has been given. Despite all the odds, he is an exceptionally talented and popular motivational speaker. He tours the world speaking to schoolchildren about positive thinking and self esteem. If you have never heard of this guy I encourage you to get on YouTube and watch some of his videos, if he doesn’t move you to tears within a few minutes I insist you get checked for a working heart as soon as possible.
When Nick goes to speak to a group of children they normally watch in stunned silence as he is helped onto a table at the front of the assembly hall. The severely disabled and yet smiling man in front of them mesmerizes the ordinarily raucous group of youngsters. Such is the stillness in the room that you could hear a pin drop. Nick breaks this profound silence by challenging them to a game of soccer and a nervous laugh fills the room. Nick Vujicic is so full of positive loving energy that it causes the whole room to radiate with they most amazing and tangible peace.
By the end of the talk, the dozens of girls who had previously cried themselves to sleep thinking about the words of a bully are now crying in joy and love for the man who found happiness against all odds. Love pours out of every cell in this guy’s little body as he sits there propped up on a table and dares to ask the kids if they think he is beautiful. Without a flicker of hesitation or doubt the whole room agrees that he is an amazing and stunningly beautiful person. There is a very real mass awakening as children realize the true gift of their own life. The child who hates her freckles suddenly realizes just how perfect she really is. The boy who is bullied for being overweight suddenly understands his true worth. Each and every child sees their own potential.
But surely when it comes to sex and women Nick has a valid excuse right? No, a few years ago Nick Vujicic married his sweetheart, and let me tell you, she is stunningly beautiful. They now have an amazing, healthy son and if you see pictures of Nick and his wife you will see two of the happiest people you ever saw. The beautiful woman at his side is a reflection of the man inside the body. Nick Vujicic is full of love, he is aware of his limitations but he believes that he is a valuable human being with the ability to enhance the lives of all those around him. But the single most important aspect of Nick’s success is he is not a victim. Of course he had the choice to become a victim, many times. But he chose to see the opportunities rather than the obstacles.
If you think Nick is a one off and you still believe you have a valid excuse to defend not having the wealth, abundance, happiness and amazing life that you really desire then I will remind you of the story of W. Mitchell:
In 1971, June 19th, he was 28 years old. He didn't have a care in the world. He was a very good-looking guy. He was driving down the freeway in America on his motorbike and not a care in the world. Something caught his attention to the left in a field and he looked to see what it was. When he turned back to concentrate on the road he realized he was travelling at 80 miles an hour towards the back of a truck. He was only 5 ft. away from the truck.
The only thing he could do to save his life was to slam the bike onto the floor so he would slide under the truck. As he slid under the truck the fuel cap came off the motorbike and covered him in gasoline. The sparks from the motorbike ignited the fuel. He was ablaze. Sixty-five per cent of his body had third-degree burns. His face was nearly burnt off. His fingers were stumps. He was unrecognizable. People would visit him in the emergency ward of the hospital and pass out when they saw him. He was that bad.
He was in a coma for two weeks and when he came round would you have blamed him if he said, I can't go on; life is just not worth living? W. Mitchell chose a different path. He realized after time that he didn't have to accep
t society's notion that to be happy a person must be healthy and good looking. Mitchell came to see it, as he put it I'm in charge of my own spaceship, my own ups and downs. I can choose to see this as either a setback or a new beginning.
Instead of being overcome by his obvious problems and the pain of the therapy he'd have to go through, Mitchell decided to turn those problems into challenges. He joined two friends and he founded a new wood-burning stove company. A few short years later he helped build Vermont Castings into a multimillion-dollar company. He was a millionaire. If you think that's the happy ending of the story, think again.
In 1975, November, disaster struck again. W. Mitchell was sitting on the runway in his own private jet with three friends in the back. He'd forgotten to check the wings for ice and as you probably know ice can cause disaster for planes. As he attempted to take off the plane crashed. His three passengers got out without a mark on them. W. Mitchell was paralyzed from the neck down. Mitchell chose to survive and those negative people went up to him and said, somebody must really hate you up there, how are you going to continue? He said, before all this happened there were 10,000 things I could do. Now there are only 9,000. I could spend my life dwelling on the 1,000 that I lost or I could choose to focus on the 9,000 that are left, and that's what he did.
In 1982 he married his sweetheart and in 1984 he ran for Congress. He went door-to-door campaigning and he used the catchphrase, vote for me and I won't be just another pretty face. Mitchell says that he had two big bumps in his life and he chose not to use them as excuses to quit. To become a success, to become wealthy, concentrate on the positive.